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View Full Version : Clunky Wording, or Worthy Title



Travis J. Smith
03-24-2009, 04:45 PM
I had quite a brainstorming for the fantasy novel I've left to age like fine wine until enough inspiration has accumulated and I feel both it and I are developed enough for me to write it. What came from it was one of those, "Eureka," moments beloved by writers where everything falls perfectly into place, and a potential title.

And All, The King's Man

The story uses both science-fiction and fantasy to set up a scenario in which an average citizen, of a war torn country in need of something to believe in, becomes deified by the country as, more or less, its own Jesus. Through this, I plan to examine how someone, such as Jesus, would have dealt with his or her situation if he or she was truly what most consider "human."

The title is a word-play on the well known, "And all the king's men," phrase that I thought was clever in my sleep deprived state last night. Put more understandably and straight forward, it reads, "And everyone, the King is human."

I fear it's too ambiguous and open to interpretation, now that I've reviewed it after getting some sleep, to work, but what do I know? Let's see what others think.

Adam
03-24-2009, 04:52 PM
If I'm honest, it sounds very clunky to me. If you know what it means, it's not so bad, but the average person in a bookshop isn't going to know what it's supposed to mean until he's read through the book.

Of course, this is only my opinion. :)

alleycat
03-24-2009, 04:52 PM
Just an opinion . . . it's too close to All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren (who went to the same high school I did, by the way).

I like The King's Man better.

James81
03-24-2009, 05:07 PM
You could do a play on words:

All the King's Man

As it is, seems clunky. But on the other hand, titles don't need to be grammatically correct or flowing. Sometimes a clunky title will sit more in people's minds than a non-clunky title.

Travis J. Smith
03-24-2009, 05:53 PM
Odd. For a while there I couldn't find my thread. Seems no-one else thought anything was out of the ordinary with it being posted here. Heh.

I always mix-up this and the round table board when I'm in a hurry. I'll request it be moved to the round table board.

EDIT: The King's Man was a title I entertained when trying to think of something not so clunky, yet in the same vein as the full play-on-words. I think I'll roll with it instead.

Adam
03-24-2009, 06:44 PM
I came to it through "New Posts", so I didn't notice. :)

"The King's Man" definitely sounds better to me.

Incidentally, if you want to keep an eye on a specific thread, you can subscribe to it through the Thread Tools button at the top of the page. You'll receive emails when a new post is added. ;)

Kitty Pryde
03-24-2009, 08:03 PM
my immediate reactions, as a long time enthusiastic SF/F shelf browser:

-it sounds like a fantasy novel about a man named "All" who works for the King
-it sounds like a light comic fantasy because the title is just a wee bit silly and punny (like Piers Anthony Xanth novel, akin to "Crewel Lye" or "Faun and Games").

Travis J. Smith
03-24-2009, 08:20 PM
-it sounds like a light comic fantasy because the title is just a wee bit silly and punny (like Piers Anthony Xanth novel, akin to "Crewel Lye" or "Faun and Games").Well, aspects of it are light/comic. It came about from my idea of having a multiverse housed within itself inside a tree (a Scots pine) that is guarded and watched over by an omniscient squirrel named Lyedir. ;)

Claudia Gray
03-24-2009, 08:57 PM
I, too, thought it was about a guy named All who worked for the king. I second the objection about its similarity to ALL THE KING'S MEN -- one of those rare books so enduring that it gets to hang onto a title from a popular phrase for a really long time.

AnnieColleen
03-24-2009, 09:23 PM
my immediate reactions, as a long time enthusiastic SF/F shelf browser:

-it sounds like a fantasy novel about a man named "All" who works for the King
-it sounds like a light comic fantasy because the title is just a wee bit silly and punny (like Piers Anthony Xanth novel, akin to "Crewel Lye" or "Faun and Games").

Ditto this.

"The King's Man" could work...but only, I would think, if the other reading actually applies to the story (a character who's loyal to the king); otherwise you'll confuse those who don't get the pun.