I’ve done my calculations and I’ve put them on a spreadsheet and what it comes down to is that, as an American Taxpayer forced to participate in the financial bailout….
….......
I want me one of them A-EYE-GEE executives.
Ok, I'm an accountant, and the stimulus package is all well and good, but an extra $20.00 in my weekly paycheck won’t make me nearly as happy as getting me one of them there A-EYE-GEE executives.
You see, I’ve got a big deer problem in my yard. (I also have a medium sized and small deer problem. No matter what size the deer, it comes into my yard and makes a problem).
But, for years, them A-EYE-GEE executives have been shoveling $hit onto SEC and IRS examiners, and they got right good at it, yessiree!
So the first thing my A-EYE-GEE executive is gonna do is shovel the ‘deer $hit’ out of my yard and into a dump truck.
I think my A-EYE-GEE executives' new BMW will make a real purty dump truck.
Them A-EYE-GEE execs also got pretty good at passing the buck. Well, some of those deer ARE bucks, so my A-EYE-GEE executive can pass every buck that comes into my yard right out again.
A-EYE-GEE execs were also good at losing dough. Well, most of the deer that come into my yard are does, so I’m pretty sure my exec will make sure I never see any doe again!
Baby deer are called fawns, and A-EYE-GEE execs are always fawning over congressmen. Since I have no congressmen in my yard, there will be no ‘fawning’ thus no fawns.
Having an A-EYE-GEE executive in my yard would be useful in other ways, too. For Example:
*I can put an A-EYE GEE exec under my car during oil and fluid changes to catch the toxic runoff, as toxic assets don’t seem to hurt these guys.
* I can put an A-EYE GEE exec on my roof during a thunderstorm to protect my satellite dish from lightening.
Yes, Mr. President, forget about my stimulus payment. Just give me an AIG exec, and I’ll be alright!
….......
I want me one of them A-EYE-GEE executives.
Ok, I'm an accountant, and the stimulus package is all well and good, but an extra $20.00 in my weekly paycheck won’t make me nearly as happy as getting me one of them there A-EYE-GEE executives.
You see, I’ve got a big deer problem in my yard. (I also have a medium sized and small deer problem. No matter what size the deer, it comes into my yard and makes a problem).
But, for years, them A-EYE-GEE executives have been shoveling $hit onto SEC and IRS examiners, and they got right good at it, yessiree!
So the first thing my A-EYE-GEE executive is gonna do is shovel the ‘deer $hit’ out of my yard and into a dump truck.
I think my A-EYE-GEE executives' new BMW will make a real purty dump truck.
Them A-EYE-GEE execs also got pretty good at passing the buck. Well, some of those deer ARE bucks, so my A-EYE-GEE executive can pass every buck that comes into my yard right out again.
A-EYE-GEE execs were also good at losing dough. Well, most of the deer that come into my yard are does, so I’m pretty sure my exec will make sure I never see any doe again!
Baby deer are called fawns, and A-EYE-GEE execs are always fawning over congressmen. Since I have no congressmen in my yard, there will be no ‘fawning’ thus no fawns.
Having an A-EYE-GEE executive in my yard would be useful in other ways, too. For Example:
*I can put an A-EYE GEE exec under my car during oil and fluid changes to catch the toxic runoff, as toxic assets don’t seem to hurt these guys.
* I can put an A-EYE GEE exec on my roof during a thunderstorm to protect my satellite dish from lightening.
Yes, Mr. President, forget about my stimulus payment. Just give me an AIG exec, and I’ll be alright!
