So I’ve been on a Transformers jag recently. I became curious about the cartoons after reading about them on the Transformers Wiki, and so I decided to watch as much of the original series as I could find on YouTube. Many of the episodes were fun. Even though the plots are simple (often relying on inconsistencies) and the animation screwy on occasion, I enjoyed the premise, the characters and the action. The dialogue was sometimes amusing too.
Then I watched the movie.
Transformers: The Movie came out in 1986 (and takes place in 2005), where the Autobots are planning to retake their Decepticon-held planet, but the Decepticons launch an attack on Autobot City (on Earth) first. Meanwhile, a planet-eating… thing… called Unicron* is advancing on Cybertron.
I won’t summarize any more of the story, which can be read here, but I’ll say for the record that I stopped watching shortly after Galvatron appeared. It was just too disappointing by then. But let me start with…
What I liked
Rumble! He had some good lines – “Nobody calls Soundwave un-chrasi-matic!” and “First we crack the shell, then we crack the nuts inside!” And it was sweet how Soundwave carried Megatron and Rumble carried Megatron’s fusion cannon.
“Such heroic nonsense!”
Starscream’s having to shoot himself free of the closed doors. “Aaah! My foot!”
“One shall stand. One shall fall.” Epic!
Starscream ending the Constructicons’ flourish of trumpets at his coronation.
“Megatron? Is that you?”
“Here’s a hint!” BLAMM!
So, what did I not like?
Let’s start with the big one – bigger than Unicron. The deaths of major characters.
Prowl, Ironhide, Brawn and Ratchet were killed when the ‘Cons boarded the shuttle. Optimus Prime went down after the battle. Megatron, Skywarp, Thundercracker and the Insecticons were thrown out of Astrotrain. Starscream bit it a few seconds after his coronation. That’s a lot of characters to off. I’m amazed that kids were allowed to watch this movie; I’d have cried if I’d seen it when I was little.
The deaths of main characters isn’t in and of itself a bad thing. But the characters need to be built up and fleshed out first – in other words, I have to know something about them to care about them when they die. With the movie, the Autobots were mown down at the start (I don’t even remember hearing all their names), and the ‘Cons didn’t fare much better.
While it’s realistic for war to take people out in swathes, not giving anyone much time to grieve or recover before the next battle or massacre, this also means less of an emotional connection to whoever dies. As Stalin put it, “A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.”
To jump from the nobody-dies cartoon to the everyone-dies film was a bit jarring. Also, if a book or movie kills off a main character halfway through, it needs to provide another character to pick up the fallen banner and continue the fight, and this character should be as interesting as the one who died. Transformers: The Movie substituted Galvatron for Megatron and Hot Rod for Optimus Prime.
Since I stopped watching the movie around the time Galvatron appeared, I can’t comment on his character there. I did watch a few episodes of the post-movie cartoon in which he appeared, though, and I couldn’t stand him. The kind of leader who slaps his troops around when they’re stupid is fine by me, but not the type who’s utterly unbalanced.
As for Hot Rod, let’s just say he didn’t make a great impression when his response to Megatron’s reaching for a gun during the duel was to… jump him, thereby allowing Megatron to use him as a shield. Couldn’t he fire at Megatron? Throw something at him? Yell, “Hey Optimus, he’s got a gun, shoot him”?
And of course, with both Megatron and Starscream out of the picture, there went that interesting dynamic. I was always wondering what Starscream’s next power play would be like, and what Megatron would do in retaliation. Having the two of them more or less murder each other killed a lot of the tension as well. Galvatron’s lackeys were just cardboard cutouts in comparison to Screamer.
If a character is fleshed out, dies because of something that can’t realistically be prevented, and goes down fighting, it seems realistic and heartwrenching, rather than a transparent attempt to get rid of the old toys and sell new ones.
The WTF moments
I can understand having the Constructicons at the Battle of Autobot City, since they formed Devastator, but why not the Combaticons? If they’d been there, Blast-Off would probably have been able to tow all the jettisoned weight back to Cybertron (he towed an asteroid in “The Revenge of Bruticus”).
Also, how is it that Devastator withstands everything the Autobots throw at him, but a few seconds of Rumble and Frenzy pounding on the floor is enough to shake his individual components apart? I have to agree that “Soundwave superior. Constructicons inferior.”
Unicron.
Where to start with Unicron? Why hasn’t anyone known about him until that moment? Does he have no other aspirations than to eat planets? I don’t mind a giant monstrosity devouring people or planets when said monstrosity is unintelligent (like the shark in Jaws) but it doesn’t make sense here. Why can the Matrix destroy him? And why does he need Megatron to do anything for him if he’s so powerful?
Even if we assume that Unicron really does need someone to serve him for some reason, and can’t create that someone out of thin air, why pick Megatron? I mean, after Megatron lost a battle and nearly died, his own second-in-command threw him overboard. That’s hardly a glowing recommendation. I could understand if Unicron established some kind of connection with him based on this – for instance, they both want revenge – but it just looks like Unicron subjected Megatron to about three seconds of torture and that was it.
The literal crowd of other characters who stepped up to fill the empty spots just didn’t hold my interest. I’m not keen on the Quintessons – they seem bizarre for the sake of being bizarre – and a few minutes of someone called Wheelie was all I could take. Daniel was the generic Spunky Kid, Arcee was too girly, and Blurr competes with Starscream for most annoying vocalizer ever.
The opposition fared no better. Galvatron commanding an army of Sweeps (none of whom seem to have names) is nowhere near as much fun as Megatron commanding Soundwave, the combiner teams and the Seekers, all of whom have their own names, colors, personalities, and special abilities. Even the appearances of the new Decepticons didn’t work for me – they’re mostly blue/purple with bat wings and one has pink claws. Whee, scary.
Conclusion
I enjoyed the G1 cartoon because it featured something very unfamiliar in a familiar environment of Earth landscapes and city streets. That environment kept it more or less grounded, in a way the bizarro planets never did for the deep space shenanigans. And while I could see myselfdriving riding in a Porsche or even an F-15, I can’t do the same for one of those little spaceships that Galvatron’s forces use. So I felt even less of an imagination connection with the movie.
The movie just made me feel sad, ultimately. I think I’ll watch “Starscream’s Brigade” to cheer myself up – at least I know and enjoy the ending of that one.
*I can tell I’m going to have problems with that name in the course of this review, because I typed it “Unicorn” the first time.
Then I watched the movie.
Transformers: The Movie came out in 1986 (and takes place in 2005), where the Autobots are planning to retake their Decepticon-held planet, but the Decepticons launch an attack on Autobot City (on Earth) first. Meanwhile, a planet-eating… thing… called Unicron* is advancing on Cybertron.
I won’t summarize any more of the story, which can be read here, but I’ll say for the record that I stopped watching shortly after Galvatron appeared. It was just too disappointing by then. But let me start with…
What I liked
Rumble! He had some good lines – “Nobody calls Soundwave un-chrasi-matic!” and “First we crack the shell, then we crack the nuts inside!” And it was sweet how Soundwave carried Megatron and Rumble carried Megatron’s fusion cannon.
“Such heroic nonsense!”
Starscream’s having to shoot himself free of the closed doors. “Aaah! My foot!”
“One shall stand. One shall fall.” Epic!
Starscream ending the Constructicons’ flourish of trumpets at his coronation.
“Megatron? Is that you?”
“Here’s a hint!” BLAMM!
So, what did I not like?
Let’s start with the big one – bigger than Unicron. The deaths of major characters.
Prowl, Ironhide, Brawn and Ratchet were killed when the ‘Cons boarded the shuttle. Optimus Prime went down after the battle. Megatron, Skywarp, Thundercracker and the Insecticons were thrown out of Astrotrain. Starscream bit it a few seconds after his coronation. That’s a lot of characters to off. I’m amazed that kids were allowed to watch this movie; I’d have cried if I’d seen it when I was little.
The deaths of main characters isn’t in and of itself a bad thing. But the characters need to be built up and fleshed out first – in other words, I have to know something about them to care about them when they die. With the movie, the Autobots were mown down at the start (I don’t even remember hearing all their names), and the ‘Cons didn’t fare much better.
While it’s realistic for war to take people out in swathes, not giving anyone much time to grieve or recover before the next battle or massacre, this also means less of an emotional connection to whoever dies. As Stalin put it, “A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.”
To jump from the nobody-dies cartoon to the everyone-dies film was a bit jarring. Also, if a book or movie kills off a main character halfway through, it needs to provide another character to pick up the fallen banner and continue the fight, and this character should be as interesting as the one who died. Transformers: The Movie substituted Galvatron for Megatron and Hot Rod for Optimus Prime.
Since I stopped watching the movie around the time Galvatron appeared, I can’t comment on his character there. I did watch a few episodes of the post-movie cartoon in which he appeared, though, and I couldn’t stand him. The kind of leader who slaps his troops around when they’re stupid is fine by me, but not the type who’s utterly unbalanced.
As for Hot Rod, let’s just say he didn’t make a great impression when his response to Megatron’s reaching for a gun during the duel was to… jump him, thereby allowing Megatron to use him as a shield. Couldn’t he fire at Megatron? Throw something at him? Yell, “Hey Optimus, he’s got a gun, shoot him”?
And of course, with both Megatron and Starscream out of the picture, there went that interesting dynamic. I was always wondering what Starscream’s next power play would be like, and what Megatron would do in retaliation. Having the two of them more or less murder each other killed a lot of the tension as well. Galvatron’s lackeys were just cardboard cutouts in comparison to Screamer.
If a character is fleshed out, dies because of something that can’t realistically be prevented, and goes down fighting, it seems realistic and heartwrenching, rather than a transparent attempt to get rid of the old toys and sell new ones.
The WTF moments
I can understand having the Constructicons at the Battle of Autobot City, since they formed Devastator, but why not the Combaticons? If they’d been there, Blast-Off would probably have been able to tow all the jettisoned weight back to Cybertron (he towed an asteroid in “The Revenge of Bruticus”).
Also, how is it that Devastator withstands everything the Autobots throw at him, but a few seconds of Rumble and Frenzy pounding on the floor is enough to shake his individual components apart? I have to agree that “Soundwave superior. Constructicons inferior.”
Unicron.
Where to start with Unicron? Why hasn’t anyone known about him until that moment? Does he have no other aspirations than to eat planets? I don’t mind a giant monstrosity devouring people or planets when said monstrosity is unintelligent (like the shark in Jaws) but it doesn’t make sense here. Why can the Matrix destroy him? And why does he need Megatron to do anything for him if he’s so powerful?
Even if we assume that Unicron really does need someone to serve him for some reason, and can’t create that someone out of thin air, why pick Megatron? I mean, after Megatron lost a battle and nearly died, his own second-in-command threw him overboard. That’s hardly a glowing recommendation. I could understand if Unicron established some kind of connection with him based on this – for instance, they both want revenge – but it just looks like Unicron subjected Megatron to about three seconds of torture and that was it.
The literal crowd of other characters who stepped up to fill the empty spots just didn’t hold my interest. I’m not keen on the Quintessons – they seem bizarre for the sake of being bizarre – and a few minutes of someone called Wheelie was all I could take. Daniel was the generic Spunky Kid, Arcee was too girly, and Blurr competes with Starscream for most annoying vocalizer ever.
The opposition fared no better. Galvatron commanding an army of Sweeps (none of whom seem to have names) is nowhere near as much fun as Megatron commanding Soundwave, the combiner teams and the Seekers, all of whom have their own names, colors, personalities, and special abilities. Even the appearances of the new Decepticons didn’t work for me – they’re mostly blue/purple with bat wings and one has pink claws. Whee, scary.
Conclusion
I enjoyed the G1 cartoon because it featured something very unfamiliar in a familiar environment of Earth landscapes and city streets. That environment kept it more or less grounded, in a way the bizarro planets never did for the deep space shenanigans. And while I could see myself
The movie just made me feel sad, ultimately. I think I’ll watch “Starscream’s Brigade” to cheer myself up – at least I know and enjoy the ending of that one.
*I can tell I’m going to have problems with that name in the course of this review, because I typed it “Unicorn” the first time.
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I am looking forward to the new live action film coming out this summer. But I heard that it won't have the Dino-Bots in it! Man...I was really hoping for them to make a appearance.
