Best gift for an arch-enemy?

Backwards gun?

robeiae said:

I need help. All suggestions welcome.

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My nemesis likes comic books, scifi and horror. I am going to get him a subscription to 'in touch' magazine and an autographed picture of Phyllis Diller--for his bday. But I am evil.

The best gift is the gift of your time.

Simply save all those inserts in magazines, and collect all the 'free vacation', credit card applications, and 'free information' postcards you can find at restaurants, stores, etc.

Fill them out and drop them in the mailbox, postage is always prepaid.

His phone will never stop ringing.

You wouldn't like my advice, Robovowels, so I'm just here to see what other people come up with.

*munches popcorn*

kill him with kindness, rob.
it's the only way.

arches?

William Haskins said:

kill him with kindness, rob.
it's the only way.

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Damn it, Haskins, that was MY idea. *pouts*

robeiae said:

There, there Cranky. It will be okay. Can I get you anything?

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A bucket of fried chicken parts would be awesome, thanks.

Oh, and a bucket of margaritas. Any flavor really, but I prefer pomegranate. Just so you know.

Tickets to the Brittany Spears-Olsen Twins-Miley Cyrus-Madonna-Cher-Lindsey Lohan-Paris Hilton Farewell Victory Tour and a set of Infini Ear™ hearing amplifiers.

robeiae said:

No problem. Why don't you lie down for a bit. I'll fetch you a blanket. Would you like me to darn your socks while you relax?

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*lounges* Ah, thanks so much, Robovowels. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you're such a sucker.

Oh, and I don't wear holey socks. You can knit me a new sweater, though. After you make the margaritas, natch.

That's a handy list. People are always declaring themselves my arch enemy, but I refuse to give anyone such a high honor.

Maybe it's my name.

I'm growing stronger, actually. I thrive on this stuff...SAHM, remember?

But I'm honored that you consider me an arch-enemy. My day is made. You may go now.

A treasure map, leading to the desert landfill with E.T. the Extraterrestrial videogames for the Atari.

I prefer the remnants of my bowels. Save up your colon cleanse. Be careful wrapping it.

I recommended my archenemy at work once for a position that had opened up on another site. She got the job and was out of my hair. Problem solved and I looked like the good guy.

I like donuts. Now I'm hungry.

A video of you singing.

robeiae said:

Well, you should be quite happy with the package you're about to receive.

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Nothing can be worse than that naked picture you sent me of yourself.

robeiae said:

Well, you should be quite happy with the package you're about to receive.

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Rob singing karaoke, drunk on Black and Tans. Mmmm, fun.

I know a ghost who might be looking for a new home soon. I can pass on an address for ya.

perks!

he is a dingleberry...

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Perhaps if you wiped him front to back he'd go away.