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View Full Version : Evil Stalks the Castle Ch. 16



vixey
03-06-2009, 04:43 PM
Writer’s Note: Loooooooong, long ago in a posting far, far away, a cursed golden retriever befriended the Queen of the Royalty thread. The possessed pup suffered a hideous death at the hands of a disgruntled, hot-tempered, and, yes, brave Chihuahua. For days afterwards, the Realm dwellers battled wits, weres and witches, until a little ferret stumbled on the grand poobah of all weres. Tied to a stake la Joan of Arc, the ferret learned the fate of the Realm – and the Queen. Only her pure heart (gag!) and A positive blood could transform the creatures’ spirit bodies into flesh and bones. A last minute save by the hot-handed Avatar babe brought the ferret back to the castle where the plot (I can’t help myself) sickens.

***********

“It’s settled, then,” Sir Ferret said. “We’ll load balloons with Sunny’s potion.”

***********
“Potion?” said Pagey. She joined the others in the small theatre tucked away in the bowels of the castle. “Pass the popcorn, please, Ken.”

“To kill the were creatures and the siren witches,” Brad said. “You missed the part where Sir Ferret and Regdog argued over how to kill the siren witches. The were creature is easy – stab him with silver or toss holy water on him. But they weren’t sure that would work on the siren witches.”

“Right,” Leukman added. “Regdog wanted to drop a house on them then Sir Ferret started in with the salt thing.”

Susie snickered. “Heather wanted to stuff them with salty French fries.”

Haggis harrumphed. “Yeah, but, nothing beats what that ferret wanted to do to me.”

“Right.” Beach Bunny nearly choked on her tequila. ”Sir Ferret wanted to take Quikwit and Haggis, stick a lighted fuse in them, and toss them like a bomb on the witches.”

“They wouldn’t run short on methane using Quickie,” Sassandgroove added.

***********

The fairy-like twit Sunkissed buzzed around the Great Hall. “Only thing I know of to kill the siren witches is to mix the crushed scales of a Yofune-Nushi dragon with the eyes of a Tiryns boar. Add them to a pot of boiling jasmine mint tea. It’d be better if they drink it. Maybe we could invite the sirens to a tea party.”

“I want to kill them not date them,” Sir Ferret responded.

“Right. Scratch the tea party.” Sunkissed perched on the back of a carved walnut chair. “Let me see if I can find a boar.” She zipped over to the window and hovered. “Cross your fingers! Oh! When I was in the pantry earlier, I saw a large jar of mint and jasmine. Could someone start the kettle for tea?” She batted her eyes at Sir Ferret.

Sir Ferret marched out of the room muttering about women ordering him around the kitchen.

“And dragon scales can be gotten from any child’s Halloween basket!” Sunkissed called out as she left. “They’re given out as good luck charms! Tatatatata!”

Queen Vixey, looking a bit harried, walked into the room with Kit at her side. “Regdog can you fill me in on what’s been going on today?”

“I’ll try, my queen,” Regdog said with a bow. “Shadow was captured by the Siren Witches and tied up for barbecue. Balto returned alone and alerted me that Shadow had been captured so I went to find him with my dragons and Chimera.” Regdog lowered her voice. “I pretended to be you, my Queen, since it’s you they want.” She leaned back and spoke more loudly. “I caused a, er, distraction. Balto chewed Sir Ferret’s ropes and he was freed.

“We made our way back to the castle, where we were locked in the dungeon. Kit left to guard you. Sunny passed out in a bush. Haggis slept off a drinking binge in the dungeon.” Regdog broke into an evil grin. “And I smacked Quikwit around two or three times.”

Queen Vixey nodded. “Mmmkaaay. Can we get back to the part about you pretending to be me because they, um, want me?”

“Oh, apparently the siren witches and were creature want to kill you because you’re full of goodness and you can change them from spirits to corporal beings.”

Queen Vixey nodded slowly. “I was afraid you’d use that word – kill.”

“Afternoon, dear Queen.” Sir Ferret entered the Great hall carrying a basket filled with jasmine and mint. In his other hand he carried a pitcher of water, sloshing with each step. “Keep the water coming, Balto!” The tiny dragon deposited a pitcher filled with water into a cauldron, then flapped back toward the kitchen.

“That’s a lot of tea,” Queen Vixey said.

“Potion,” Sir Ferret said. “Some concoction Sunkissed said would kill the siren witches.”

“Yap!” They all turned in the direction of the sound from below. “Yap! Yap! Yap!”

Regdog groaned. “Haggis.”

“You all seem to forget,” Haggis called out, “that I’m the one who oversaw the rebuilding of our treasury!”

“He gets like this some times,” Regdog whispered.

“That I’m the one who conquered the were puppy Muse at great personal risk!” he continued, his voice growing louder. “And the thanks I get for that is being constantly thrown into this dungeon by that…that…that wench!”

Regdog planted her hands on her hips. “Of all the…”

Haggis appeared at the entrance to the Great Hall. “I’ve had it with you people! I could have saved you! I wanted to save you!” Haggis said. Sir Ferret made a motion with his hands like he was playing a violin. “But all you were willing to give back was abuse!” Haggis turned on his paw, clasped his jaw onto a suitcase, and pattered from the Great Hall.

***************

“A bit melodramatic, don’t you think?” Don said, stuffing popcorn in his mouth.

“So this episode is about making tea?” Celina said. She reached for the remote.

“No. A poisonous potion,” Kit said, snatching the remote from Celina. “And I’m supposedly in the damned scene, but I haven’t had a single line yet!”

“I was there, too, but I get no credit,” Sassandgroove said.

****************

“Might as well get bombed before we do any bombing,” Sir Ferret offered. He tossed back a shot of bourbon.

Kit slammed her glass of Crown Royal and grabbed a handful of balloons. “It always takes a woman with a mean streak to get anything done around this joint.” She began to fill the balloons with the potent potion in rapid-fire succession.

“Okay,” Queen Vixey said, sweat forming on her brow. “We’re filling sacks with potion balloons. How are we going to launch them?”

Kit and Sir Ferret looked at each other. “Um,” Kit began. “It’s not We.”

“No,” Sir Ferret continued. “You, my queen, need to stay here at the castle. We don’t want you to come to harm.”

Queen Vixey nodded. “Oh?”

“They want to kill you,” Kit said. “Remember?”

Queen Vixey looked into the security camera as though she could see the small crowd gathered in the castle theatre. “They think I’m stupid.” She looked back at Kit. “Right. I suppose my aim isn’t as great as yours or Sir Ferret’s. When do we, er, you go to battle?”

“I’d hate for Regdog and Sunkissed to miss out on the fun,” Kit said. She tied a balloon and set it in a bulging sack next to her.

Sir Ferret grimaced. “I can only imagine Regdog’s reaction if we begin this battle without her. You think she gives Haggis and Quikwit a hard time?” He rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” Queen Vixey said. “You both make a good point. We’ll postpone the attack until All Hallows’ Eve. Let’s leave the balloons in the sacks in a ginormous pile by the castle wall. We’ll formulate a new plan of attack on the morrow.”

****************

“Stay tuned?” Susie said, licking chocolate from her fingers.

“Guess so,” said Bsolah.

“They’re going to kill siren witches and a were creature with freaking water balloons?” said Celina. She succeeded in grabbing the remote this time. A football game appeared on the screen.

Leukman leaned forward. “Is that the Dolphins?”

**************

Will the potion be effective against the were creatures?

Has Haggis left for good?

Will Susie share the chocolate already?

And will . . . Oh, look it’s the Dolphins!

regdog
03-06-2009, 05:36 PM
:Clap::Clap::Clap::Clap::Clap::Clap:

Great chapter, I can't wait to find out what happens next week...Oh yeah, I'm writing next weeks

mscelina
03-06-2009, 05:55 PM
The Dolphins???? oh the horror! NO. The TITANS.

vixey
03-06-2009, 05:57 PM
So grab the remote and change the channel! :tongue

Pagey's_Girl
03-06-2009, 06:09 PM
*Pagey's muse Jamie grabs the remote and changes the channel only to find---* "Since when in MTV playing music again?!"

(Not gonna happen, the MTV part, but it sure would be cool if it did.)

Great chapter! and why does Sunkissed remind me slightly of Freddie Mercury?

brad_b
03-06-2009, 06:25 PM
great :e2writer: Vixey... :Clap: :Clap: :Clap:

Will Sir Ferret play the :e2violin: at Carnegie Hall?

Will Queen Vixey be able to stay at the castle while the others go to dispose of the Siren Witches? :e2file:

Will Kit and Sir Ferret get anything done since they are :e2drunk: ?

Great job, Vixey... Can't wait for the next installment, Heather. Keep'em coming.... :e2headban

Leukman
03-06-2009, 06:26 PM
Splendid. I get to have the last word. This pleases monkey. :D

Shadow_Ferret
03-06-2009, 06:27 PM
The Dolphins???? oh the horror! NO. The TITANS.

I have difficulty rooting for any team that I have ties older than.

Leukman
03-06-2009, 06:32 PM
I have difficulty rooting for any team that I have ties older than.

I suggest simply throwing away those ties.

Problem solved. :D

Shadow_Ferret
03-06-2009, 06:49 PM
They're coming back in style.

Susie
03-06-2009, 06:51 PM
:Clap: :Clap: :Clap: :Clap: vixey, your story is super. Many standing o's. This calls for :Cake: & ((((((HUGS)))))).

Haggis
03-06-2009, 06:54 PM
They're coming back in style.

Sorry, Ferret, but those ties are never coming back in style.

http://schools-wikipedia.org/images/425/42501.jpg

Shadow_Ferret
03-06-2009, 06:56 PM
Sorry, Ferret, but those ties are never coming back in style.

http://schools-wikipedia.org/images/425/42501.jpg

So....

I should ditch the hat, too?

Haggis
03-06-2009, 06:57 PM
So....

I should ditch the hat, too?

No, the hat's cool.

Shadow_Ferret
03-06-2009, 07:01 PM
Excellent!

*twirls a finger around his long flowing locks*

Haggis
03-06-2009, 07:05 PM
You have a pretty neat Robin Hood hat around somewhere too, don't you?

Shadow_Ferret
03-06-2009, 07:09 PM
Yes.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g76/shadow_ferret/Avatars/ferret-01-t.gif

Susie
03-06-2009, 07:11 PM
Toot! Toot! Train derailment! :D

vixey
03-06-2009, 07:16 PM
It's OP...and it's Haggis and Ed. Was there a train to begin with? :D

Leukman
03-06-2009, 07:16 PM
:popcorn:

Haggis
03-06-2009, 07:23 PM
Yes.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g76/shadow_ferret/Avatars/ferret-01-t.gif

YES! That's the one.


Toot! Toot! Train derailment! :D

Ma'am, may I check your train ticket, please?


It's OP...and it's Haggis and Ed. Was there a train to begin with? :D

http://www.cmhrecords.com/web/images/products/8997_lrg.jpg


:popcorn:

Thread derailer!


:D

Susie
03-06-2009, 09:36 PM
I think there was a train, vixey. :D

:ROFL: You may check anything you like, young Haggis. :D

mscelina
03-06-2009, 10:05 PM
So grab the remote and change the channel! :tongue

No need. I decided it was the Titans BEATING the Dolphins and that's okay.

And normal.

*snerk*

Haggis
03-06-2009, 10:33 PM
I think there was a train, vixey. :D

:ROFL: You may check anything you like, young Haggis. :D

:eek:

vixey
03-07-2009, 02:58 AM
I think there was a train, vixey. :D

:ROFL: You may check anything you like, young Haggis. :D

I'm having trouble with this. :tongue

Pagey's_Girl
03-07-2009, 04:10 AM
Wow - for once a thread derailed and I didn't do it....

Ambrosia
03-07-2009, 04:24 AM
Great chapter, Vixey. Thank you!

Beach Bunny
03-07-2009, 08:14 AM
:Thumbs:

Susie
03-07-2009, 08:52 AM
Iz ok, vixey. I meant Haggis could check any of my writing. Yep, that's it. :D