Erectile Dysfunction

Maybe you should preface by saying you'll accept "private messages" in response to this question .

I could only imagine that yes, it would be embarrassing whether or not one was medically diagnosed. The fear of rejection can be crippling for whatever the reason.

I'll leave the other part of your question to those with more knowledge of this subject.

*contains personal details that some may feel uncomfortable reading *

Stunted said:

Hello everyone. I would just love to learn more about erectile dysfunction! Basically, I know all the scientific stuff I need to know about it, but I was wondering if anyone could tell me about the emotional/psychological aspects of it.

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Erectile dysfunction takes many forms. Mine was a priapism almost four years ago (prior to which everything had worked normally). By the time I got to the hospital the erectile tissues in my penis had been damaged leaving me unable to gain an erection. It was a shock, but within hours I was on a specialist ward in London being treated by some very fine people.

Soon afterwards (not immediately) I had an operation to fit penile prosthetics, so now I have something like a balloon (two actually) inside my penis that can be inflated by operating a device in my scrotum, filled with saline solution from a reservoir tucked under my skin.

Stunted said:

Is it still embarrassing if you have a legitimate physical medical excuse for it?

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I don't have an excuse for anything in my case, mine was treated. I can't achieve an erection naturally, but can do so at will by operating the device to 'pump up' my penis, which only takes a few seconds, and can maintain it for any length of time (minutes, hours, days, weeks) before letting it down again, so I'm free from any worries about being able to 'perform'. Aside from pumping up and letting down my penis manually, everything works just like it did before, same desires, same feelings, same behaviour.

Stunted said:

Is it embarrassing otherwise?

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Not for me.

Stunted said:

Do people with it still want to do sexual non-intercourse things with women?

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Even during the period between the priapism and the operation, I had normal healthy desires and participated in sexual activity short of (obviously) penetration.

Stunted said:

Really, I know very little. Anything would be really appreciated.

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For me, I just took it in my stride because it happened and it was dealt with. In hospital I met people who had suffered with erectile dysfunction for years, in some cases all their lives. Their experience would clearly differ from mine.

Cheers,
Rob

Actually I'm a retired Urologist.
Sexual desire and performance are almost entirely different issues and it is very common for men with impotence to still want sex as well as the converse, that those with reduced or absent libido can still have normal erections. Also, it is not necessary to achieve an erection to get an orgasm.

Psychologically, it appeared to be a common problem that the wives would assume the impotence was a subconscious or even conscious rejection of them as opposed to being a side effect of a physical problem. Viagra was great for getting people to go see the doctor and finding out that people were ill at more treatable phases. A Family Doctor once asked me, "How do you keep finding all these previously undiagnosed diabetics?"
I answered, "They came in for viagra and were afraid to tell anyone else."
Rarely was this a psychological problem in terms of cause. It was almost always a result of diabetes, vascular disease or some other chronic illness. However a lot of men realized that, yes, it is physical, which means there is a chronic illness which means that they are not immortal. so it did somewhat raise the whole mortality issue.