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View Full Version : how long do you fight the good fight? RANT



Mela
02-27-2009, 07:18 PM
I don't know. I'm tired. It's just that I was so at peace and focused and then .....

those of you who've been here for a while might be familiar with past rants on the neighbor's RV. Well, that RV was parked ilegally on their property, in violation of zoning laws, in addition to a utility trailer and a pickup truck and an SUV. I complained about them last year and they were sent a letter from the township to comply with the RV ordinance, which they did. But now a BIGGER RV is poised to be parked in the driveway (it's now parked in front of their house).

The problem is that the presence of the RV brings all these heavy vehicles very close not only to our house, but to our dining room windows, which already have a stone through the screen kicked up from their driveway.
I am all alone in this - my husband doesn't quite get it and thinks everyone should do what they want on their property. I agree, except when what they're doing is too close to the property line (they need 10 feet - they have maybe one foot), with insufficient buffering (a fence I had to erect to block their junk).

I think what really has me boiling is the total lack of respect here - these vehicles are so friggin close to this house I feel like I'm living next to a commercial site, instead of residential.

I want to get back to that peace I had before they returned with this monster RV they now intend to park in their driveway. It's something else now that has to tax my mind in addition to paying bills and work and revising a book and .... and ....

so have I fought the good fight? should I let it go, even though it's just such an intrusion? And how would you just ignore it, when it's in your face, and on top of your dining room windows, every day?

I was in tears this morning over this. Please help with words of wisdom.

C.bronco
02-27-2009, 07:20 PM
the RV isn't mine, I swear

James81
02-27-2009, 07:23 PM
To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realisation that
I must not control another.

To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.

To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.

To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.

To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.

To 'let go' is to fear less
and love more.

--Author Unknown



It's obviously something you can't and never will control, so now it's time to release control of the outcome and just let it go. You're only hurting yourself, over what? Something that you can learn to get used to. Your husband is right, people can do with their property what they want (for the most part).

So you either have to find a way to get over it, or move.

CaroGirl
02-27-2009, 07:27 PM
I don't know where you live or how stringently the bylaws are enforced, but, if I were you, I'd continue to fight. The SAME thing happened with my neighbours. The anxiety would start every spring when the RV arrived and would continue until the late fall when they finally got rid of it for the winter. It impacted my contentment in my own home when every time I looked out the window, all I could see was my neighbour's Big Ass RV and the huge pick-up truck they needed to haul the Big Ass RV. It strained our relationship because they knew we didn't like it, but I never did much about it. I regret that. I think we should have done more.

They've since moved and it's become their new neighbours' problem instead of ours. I'm thankful every day I pull into my driveway and DON'T have to look at that monstrosity. I think it's an abolute insult to park these things on residential property. They should either move to an acreage, or pay for a place to park it that isn't in a residential neighbourhood.

Good luck!

Shail
02-27-2009, 07:41 PM
I really wish I knew what to tell you (my being a 'fix it' type person and all) but I can't help, because I don't know the zoning for New Jersey. I live in Boonieville Ohello, and out here the only thing not allowed is two hogs housed in the same acer of land. (Ew, right?) Or possibly wrongful restraint and captivity of drunken inbred cannibals . . .

As far as the RV goes, I could offer some illegal solutions such as slashing tires, spray painting vulgar graffitti (sp?), or just egging their house, but that might get you in trouble. So don't. Just release your frustrations into the flow. Be a pebble in the stream, so to speak. Things have a way of working out eventually. The question being 'how long can you wait for eventually'. Gettin angry, frustrated, and fixating on the RV will only harm you, not your neighbor. They could care less (and in extreme 'Joneses' type people, your frustration will only serve to encourage them). Maybe your revenge could be to fictionalize your annoying neighbor and his RV into something humorous and visualize that whenever you have to see him and his RV through the window. When your neighbor sees your laughing at something through your window, his mind will run wild wondering what kind of sabatage you perpetrated on his precious recreational vehicle.

Devil Ledbetter
02-27-2009, 07:45 PM
I agree with James that you can't control this. Trying to will only create more stress and bad feelings, and for what? Simply deciding that it doesn't matter will bring you peace far faster than fighting with them.

Invest in some beautiful drapes for the dining room windows, then keep them closed during RV parking season.

stormie
02-27-2009, 08:05 PM
Oh, Mela, I feel for you. Our driveway is right next to our neighbor's driveway. For years our neighbor claimed it was a shared driveway and used our driveway to maneuver around our cars. We even showed him our property survey (he said he didn't have one. Right). They run their cars' engines for hours on end--one time for a whole day. Who knows why.

We never reported them because, well, we're trying for harmony here. That guy is the type for retribution.

Can you put up an evergreen or two under your dining room windows? And as Devil said, maybe heavy drapes. And maybe have music on all day (soothing music).

Mela
02-27-2009, 08:21 PM
Thanks Stormie - unfortunately we've got a double whammy - it's their driveway, then our driveway and then our house - there's pavement up against the windows and no way to plant - otherwise, believe me, I would have done it.

On everyone else's points: Yes, yes, yes and yes. Agreed. Except: the vehicle is ILLEGAL. It's not allowed there according to the ZONING LAWS - they don't have the setback or the buffering for it. So now this bigger RV will probably stay there for a while, go away, come back, go away - in the meantime when it's here I'm losing my peace of mind.

I really think what this comes down to is, how you view home; what gives you peace of mind and what rolls off your back? Some of you might be content living next to or near a retail store, a parking lot, an industrial site, a gas station, whatever - so your peace of mind isn't disrupted as easily. Having so many heavy vehicles this close to my house is upsetting and more to the point, illegal. I wouldn't have fought so hard to begin with if I didn't think I was within my rights as a homeowner.

Beach Bunny
02-27-2009, 08:25 PM
:Hug2:

Unfortunately, you can't control other people. Fighting with someone over something like this just tends to have the other person dig in their heels and not give in. You complained, they got rid of the RV and bought a bigger one. If you complain again, they will probably buy an 18-wheeler to park in their driveway. :rolleyes:

All you can control is what happens on your side of the property line. So, the question is what can you do on your side of the property line to block the noise and the view of the RV? I suggest a brainstorming session with your husband to find a solution you can live with. Some suggestions already made here: curtains, shrubbery, fencing, ... Keep brainstorming until you find something that will work for you.

Good luck. :Hug2:

Susie
02-27-2009, 08:30 PM
Wish I had some words of wisdom for you, Mela, but, hope they'll move, like Caro's neighbor's did and you won't have that prob. anymore...

CaroGirl
02-27-2009, 08:36 PM
I don't think this is an issue of trying to control other people. This is about residents, who chose to live in that community, willfully contravening a known bylaw. If my neighbours suddenly decided to raise a herd of pigs in their backyard, I sure wouldn't sit back and say, "well, you can't control other people." Raising livestock in the city limits is illegal, just like this RV situation of Mela's.

stormie
02-27-2009, 08:39 PM
Hi again, Mela. Yep, our driveways are the same way, with our driveway right up against our house. But for us, we just have a kitchen window overlooking the driveways.

And if you report it, as others have said, they could dig their heels in deeper. But then, it's not legal to have an RV in a driveway, right? Maybe they're waiting for you to say something again. Or think you won't.

I'm not much help.

Maybe put up lacy curtains in your dining room that are also of a heavier, thicker material than most. Or drapes. You can also hope they move. Soon.

NickP
02-27-2009, 08:40 PM
I don't know. I'm tired. It's just that I was so at peace and focused and then .....

those of you who've been here for a while might be familiar with past rants on the neighbor's RV. Well, that RV was parked ilegally on their property, in violation of zoning laws, in addition to a utility trailer and a pickup truck and an SUV. I complained about them last year and they were sent a letter from the township to comply with the RV ordinance, which they did. But now a BIGGER RV is poised to be parked in the driveway (it's now parked in front of their house).

The problem is that the presence of the RV brings all these heavy vehicles very close not only to our house, but to our dining room windows, which already have a stone through the screen kicked up from their driveway.
I am all alone in this - my husband doesn't quite get it and thinks everyone should do what they want on their property. I agree, except when what they're doing is too close to the property line (they need 10 feet - they have maybe one foot), with insufficient buffering (a fence I had to erect to block their junk).

I think what really has me boiling is the total lack of respect here - these vehicles are so friggin close to this house I feel like I'm living next to a commercial site, instead of residential.

I want to get back to that peace I had before they returned with this monster RV they now intend to park in their driveway. It's something else now that has to tax my mind in addition to paying bills and work and revising a book and .... and ....

so have I fought the good fight? should I let it go, even though it's just such an intrusion? And how would you just ignore it, when it's in your face, and on top of your dining room windows, every day?

I was in tears this morning over this. Please help with words of wisdom.

Let it go. Life's too short.

James81
02-27-2009, 08:44 PM
I don't think this is an issue of trying to control other people. This is about residents, who chose to live in that community, willfully contravening a known bylaw. If my neighbours suddenly decided to raise a herd of pigs in their backyard, I sure wouldn't sit back and say, "well, you can't control other people." Raising livestock in the city limits is illegal, just like this RV situation of Mela's.

And it's a battle that the cops literally could give two shits about.

That's the point. She may eventually get them to move it, but AT WHAT COST? It's obviously affecting her emotionally and physically.

Mela, you don't have to stop fighting, but you DO need to figure out a way to be content in your own home, even with something like this bothering you. This is no way to live. Figure out how to let it go...how to deal with it.

CaroGirl
02-27-2009, 08:48 PM
Mela, you don't have to stop fighting, but you DO need to figure out a way to be content in your own home, even with something like this bothering you. This is no way to live. Figure out how to let it go...how to deal with it.
Mela, if you could figure out a way to deal with it, to just let it go, more power to you. I never could. I was upset about my neighbour's RV & pickup until the day they moved, and I got progressively MORE upset about it over the years, not less. I hope, if you can't do anything legally, that you are able to let it go. It really isn't worth the stress.

Mela
02-27-2009, 08:49 PM
So then I should let people who are doing something illegal next to my house get away with it?
You guys, your too status quo, too mamby pamby (well, of course, not all of you) - what would it take for YOU to fight - and I don't mean something like, my life was threatened, they killed my dog, etc. I mean on a property issue? On something going on next door of property you own that exceeds what is legal: What would get you mad?

And thanks CaroGirl! and everyone else!

Shail
02-27-2009, 08:51 PM
I agree with Carogirl. Illegal is illegal. But please, Mela, for your own well being, try not to let the RV rule you. You're a person. That RV is a hunk of metal. As ugly and obnoxious as it is, it can only hurt you if you focus your energies on how badly you want the thing gone. Do what you can do to solve the problem, but don't make yourself sick over it. I know this is going to sound all Zen and stuff, but I think what might help you is a little balance. Do work as hard as you can to get the problem solved, but don't let the RV become a central part of your daily life. When you know you've done everything in your power, that's all you can do. No amount of tears or bitterness will make the RV disappear (though I wish that were true). I'll say a prayer for you, if that's alright. Sometimes a higher power makes things move faster.

Mela
02-27-2009, 08:52 PM
I agree with Carogirl. Illegal is illegal. But please, Mela, for your own well being, try not to let the RV rule you. You're a person. That RV is a hunk of metal. As ugly and obnoxious as it is, it can only hurt you if you focus your energies on how badly you want the thing gone. Do what you can do to solve the problem, but don't make yourself sick over it. I know this is going to sound all Zen and stuff, but I think what might help you is a little balance. Do work as hard as you can to get the problem solved, but don't let the RV become a central part of your daily life. When you know you've done everything in your power, that's all you can do. No amount of tears or bitterness will make the RV disappear (though I wish that were true). I'll say a prayer for you, if that's alright. Sometimes a higher power makes things move faster.

Oh Shail, a prayer please.
I will ignore the RV
I will ignore the RV...
wretch...
I've exhausted myself just arguing about the damn thing on this thread.

James81
02-27-2009, 08:53 PM
So then I should let people who are doing something illegal next to my house get away with it?
You guys, your too status quo, too mamby pamby (well, of course, not all of you) - what would it take for YOU to fight - and I don't mean something like, my life was threatened, they killed my dog, etc. I mean on a property issue? On something going on next door of property you own that exceeds what is legal: What would get you mad?



There's "getting mad" and "letting it dominate your entire life".

I'm telling you not to do the second one. Please DO do the first one.

But you know, it's YOUR life. If you want to be miserable because of an oversized vehicle sitting next door to you, then by all means keep letting it ruin your everyday.

Wayne K
02-27-2009, 09:03 PM
Can this RV have an accident? I'm just ranting mentally here, but the ten feet is in case "ACCIDENTS" happen, and they do and would if he were my neighbor. I'm a big believer in accidents happening and whatever I can do to bring them about is random chaos and unprovable in court.
Keep in mind I'm Irish and I love to fight.
I had neighbors who were in love with their new Bose speakers, especially when they came home in the middle of the night. Not so much when I was done with them.
There are consequences for certain actions so if you're not a "do the time for the crime" type, I'd let it go if I were you

stormie
02-27-2009, 09:07 PM
I don't think anyone is being "mamby-pamby," Mela, but as you said, you complained and they bought a bigger RV. You could complain again, and they could do like my neighbors--run their cars for awhile in their driveway (illegal I believe in my area, but once the police are called, they could say, "It's only been running for a minute!).

CaroGirl
02-27-2009, 09:10 PM
I had fantasies about creating several large signs reading: Main Street Trailer Park (not the real name of Caro's street) and tacking them on all the obnoxious RVs parked in the driveways of every house. That way no one would know it was me. I never did it, though.

Mela
02-27-2009, 09:22 PM
Ok, ok. Thanks everyone for letting me vent - your range of opinions has helped me gain a little bit of peace - or at least try to as I work this through and realize there's other things that are important - problem is, my house has always been important, too.

Out to buy better curtains!!

brad_b
02-27-2009, 09:23 PM
As a member of the executive board of CONO (Coalition of Neighborhood Organizations) and also an officer in my neighborhood organization, I've found out that persistence pays. Whenever we have a zoning problem these days, the city is quick to address the issue since they know we aren't going to shut up until they do. We do it politely, but also with the intention that we won't give up. Get a copy of the zoning requirements and cite the city's own laws in this area. I'm not sure what type of city government you have, (we have a city council/mayoral type here) but we've come to know the council people and they know when we come knocking they need to address the issue since we do our homework and know our rights.

If you have neighborhood organizations contact them, as well. City Inspectors are another avenue to address the situation. There are several levels of local government you can contact on this issue. Have you talked with other neighbors about this? If more come forward with complaints then they are more apt to address the problem quickly. It still boils down to the fact these neighbors are not complying with the codes, and it's the city's job to enforce the codes. Be polite while contacting the government reps, but also firm. It's sad when people don't know how to be good neighbors, something we stress in all our meetings. Good luck.

Beach Bunny
02-27-2009, 10:32 PM
So then I should let people who are doing something illegal next to my house get away with it?
You guys, your too status quo, too mamby pamby (well, of course, not all of you) - what would it take for YOU to fight - and I don't mean something like, my life was threatened, they killed my dog, etc. I mean on a property issue? On something going on next door of property you own that exceeds what is legal: What would get you mad?

And thanks CaroGirl! and everyone else!

Let me clarify what I was trying to say.

I used to manage an apartment building when I lived in LA. And we had a rule about noise. Noise complaints are the biggest pain in the butt for a manager to have to deal with. I had one tenant who was the biggest complainer of noise coming from other apartments. He had a point, a few of his neighbors were too loud and I dealt with them. But, he also would not do anything I suggested that he do to block the noise coming into his apartment. So, I got calls at 2:00 am waking me up because his neighbors were talking and he could hear it. Did I mention he was a light sleeper? :rolleyes:

If it is illegal, then yes, file the complaint. AND do what you can do on your side of the property line so you can't see or hear the RV. :)

Mela
02-27-2009, 10:48 PM
thanks Beach Bunngy
white noise- park a box fan near the bed and put it on high
it was how I dealt with noise when I lived in a condo - I still use the fan to this day to block out noise, husband's snoring, etc.
but I digress ...

Wayne K
02-27-2009, 10:53 PM
Why don't you walk back and forth in front of your house cursing out loud, with a copy of Guns and Ammo in your hands?

James81
02-27-2009, 10:56 PM
Why don't you walk back and forth in front of your house cursing out loud, with a copy of Guns and Ammo in your hands?

Or she could start making sculptures out of Hamburger meat in the yard next to these things.

Mela
02-27-2009, 10:57 PM
Why don't you walk back and forth in front of your house cursing out loud, with a copy of Guns and Ammo in your hands?

funny you should say that - do you know that gun sales are up because of the economy?

they'd probably have me picked up for being disorderly - YET, I could always fling G&A issues into their yard and blame it on the wind.

MelodyO
02-27-2009, 10:57 PM
Ooh, I had to comment on this one! If the RV is illegally parked, don't back down, simple as that. Our neighbours have an industrial trailer they parked illegally in the back alley between us. Not only is it an eyesore, it would surely block a fire truck from getting through in case of emergency. They knew it was illegal, so they'd move it or hook it up to a truck every once in a while. It drove us crazy. Sooo, we kept an eagle eye out and every single time they'd park it back there, we'd be on the phone to the bylaw office. I don't know if/how many tickets they got, but they finally gave up and stopped parking there for the most part. Ha, sweet victory!

So as long as the bylaw people will come out and fine them where you live, you should do the same thing. As for feeling guilty about it, I notice your neighbours aren't losing sleep thinking, "Gosh, I wonder if our neighbour will get angry if we park our RV in the front for months and months? Maybe we shouldn't do it because not only is it illegal, it's obnoxious." Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

Ambrosia
02-27-2009, 11:27 PM
I don't know. I'm tired. It's just that I was so at peace and focused and then .....

those of you who've been here for a while might be familiar with past rants on the neighbor's RV. Well, that RV was parked ilegally on their property, in violation of zoning laws, in addition to a utility trailer and a pickup truck and an SUV. I complained about them last year and they were sent a letter from the township to comply with the RV ordinance, which they did. But now a BIGGER RV is poised to be parked in the driveway (it's now parked in front of their house).

The problem is that the presence of the RV brings all these heavy vehicles very close not only to our house, but to our dining room windows, which already have a stone through the screen kicked up from their driveway.
I am all alone in this - my husband doesn't quite get it and thinks everyone should do what they want on their property. I agree, except when what they're doing is too close to the property line (they need 10 feet - they have maybe one foot), with insufficient buffering (a fence I had to erect to block their junk).

I think what really has me boiling is the total lack of respect here - these vehicles are so friggin close to this house I feel like I'm living next to a commercial site, instead of residential.

I want to get back to that peace I had before they returned with this monster RV they now intend to park in their driveway. It's something else now that has to tax my mind in addition to paying bills and work and revising a book and .... and ....

so have I fought the good fight? should I let it go, even though it's just such an intrusion? And how would you just ignore it, when it's in your face, and on top of your dining room windows, every day?

I was in tears this morning over this. Please help with words of wisdom.
This is why I live in the middle of 59 acres.

It seems to me that you are obsessing over this RV situation. Are you sure that the neighbors intend to park the new RV in their driveway? Maybe they will leave it in front of their house instead. It would be stupid of them to park it in the driveway knowing they will get another notice to move it from the town. I personally do not find anything objectionable about RVs but I would not live in a house that was as close to someone else's house as yours is to your neighbors. It would drive me over the edge to look out my window and see the neighbor's car or side of their house, let alone an RV.

If this situation is hurting you this badly, is it possible to use it to find out what you need in living arrangements to be happy? I knew I needed to be away from people when my husband and I were looking for a place to buy. He wanted to be close to a store and 'civilization'. We located this property that used to be a farm but is close to shopping and within 10 miles of where my husband works. Seclusion for me and close to civilization for him. And, now we are turning it back into a farm. One never knows where life will lead. lol! This may be an opportunity for you and your husband to look at what each of you need in a living space to be happy.

If your neighbor parks the RV in the driveway, just call the town and complain. I am sure the powers that be will send out another letter. But, while you are waiting for the inevitable, perhaps you could sit and look at the RV with writing implements in hand. Imagine where the RV has been, where it is going, what has happened inside and outside of it, who has seen it going by on the highway and what their thoughts were at that moment... this could be your next story. Opportunity trumps adversity.

Good luck.

Mela
02-27-2009, 11:51 PM
This is why I live in the middle of 59 acres.

If this situation is hurting you this badly, is it possible to use it to find out what you need in living arrangements to be happy? I knew I needed to be away from people when my husband and I were looking for a place to buy. He wanted to be close to a store and 'civilization'. We located this property that used to be a farm but is close to shopping and within 10 miles of where my husband works. Seclusion for me and close to civilization for him. And, now we are turning it back into a farm. One never knows where life will lead. lol! This may be an opportunity for you and your husband to look at what each of you need in a living space to be happy.

If your neighbor parks the RV in the driveway, just call the town and complain. I am sure the powers that be will send out another letter. But, while you are waiting for the inevitable, perhaps you could sit and look at the RV with writing implements in hand. Imagine where the RV has been, where it is going, what has happened inside and outside of it, who has seen it going by on the highway and what their thoughts were at that moment... this could be your next story. Opportunity trumps adversity.

Good luck.

Thanks Ambrosia - bottom line, I was dragged kicking and screaming into this house after the beautiful Spanish Mediterranean we were set to buy roughly 30 miles west on a bigger lot turned out to need 1. a brand new terra cotta roof - pricetag $60K (that wasn't so bad; one doesn't need to put an authentic terra cotta roof onto a Spanish Med - it just looks nice) but 2. the original galvanized steel plumbing from 1932 needed to be completely ripped out and replaced, including ripping up the main sewer line under the driveway (note to self: don't even consider a 1932 house in which kitchen and bathroom updates weren't made). Another $60-100K. So when we lost that house my husband said, you know I didn't want to go that far west anyway.

And I said, fine: Expect to pay $50,000 more for a smaller house on a smaller lot. That's exactly what we did.

We are actually in a pricey area, although you wouldn't know it. We have millionaires on our street in big Victorians. Then you head down the street and get to the 1950s ranch houses - that's us (we live in a village). This house was in our price range in a desirable township who's value, even now, holds, despite RVs, do-it-yourselfers in the middle of home improvements with crap all over their yards, etc. Hard for me to fathom, actually, that this place is worth as much as what's on the books - but I have current home sale prices as proof.

The driveway did bother me when we bought the place (I grew up in the country) but the proximity of their driveway to my house never quite set in until they rolled in the first RV last year.

You live and learn.

Siddow
02-28-2009, 12:03 AM
I'm a little unclear about the layout of your lot/house/windows/driveway, but would it be possible to erect a trellis that you could grow Morning Glories on? I suggest those because they grow so fast, and reseed themselves well, and they're purdy...

But putting the trellis somewhere between your window and the Big Rolling Turd next door would create a lovely scene for you to gaze upon, and you might even get all Zen about it and love thy neighbor.

Or maybe not.

Anyhoo, some of you folks are more vicious than my HOA. And they're RIDICULOUS. lol

Wayne K
02-28-2009, 12:13 AM
I'm a little unclear about the layout of your lot/house/windows/driveway, but would it be possible to erect a trellis that you could grow Morning Glories on? I suggest those because they grow so fast, and reseed themselves well, and they're purdy...

But putting the trellis somewhere between your window and the Big Rolling Turd next door would create a lovely scene for you to gaze upon, and you might even get all Zen about it and love thy neighbor.

Or maybe not.

Anyhoo, some of you folks are more vicious than my HOA. And they're RIDICULOUS. lol
My morning glories grew six inches a night last year.
ETA: yes I garden and it doesn't make a poofy boy. Drooling over Russell Crowe does that.

Mela
02-28-2009, 12:14 AM
we would have to somehow attach the trellis to the windows and put the morning glories in a planter - there's blacktop below the DR window
I saw a nice stained glass window piece with a bit of a crack in an antique store last week - was thinking of inserting that in one of the windows and buying some attractive shades that block out theirs (and let's face it, our own) driveway. Either way you look at it, RV or no, it's never been a terribly nice sight to behold (It's worse with a bunch of big vehicles to look at).

The layout: picture 2 houses side by side, from left to right (road's in front):
house, driveway, driveway, house, with extremely tight property lines between the 2 driveways (and a row of forsythias between the driveways - however, they don't get enough sun so they've never grown into a hedge - there's a lot of separation between the bushes).

Ambrosia
02-28-2009, 12:28 AM
The layout: picture 2 houses side by side, from left to right (road's in front):
house, driveway, driveway, house, with extremely tight property lines between the 2 driveways (and a row of forsythias between the driveways - however, they don't get enough sun so they've never grown into a hedge - there's a lot of separation between the bushes).
Are the bushes on your property, your neighbors property, or shared? I am wondering if it would be possible to rip them out and put up a trellis or privacy wall there. Since the bushes are not flourishing anyway, putting in a trellis with vines that don't mind the shade would create a screen and alleviate an eyesore.

Also, if that will not work, could you move your driveway? If you could put your driveway on the other side of your house that would give you more room to plant hedges or put up fencing or whatever. Just brainstorming.

Mela
02-28-2009, 12:42 AM
the bushes are on their property - it was a requirement when they built the house - yes, they sort of squeezed a house in between 2 existing houses on this street but my house got the brunt of it, because of the driveway. I have to say, theirs is an attractive house, though, fits in well with the neighborhood - they built it maybe a year or two before we moved in (our house dates to 1955).

Mela
02-28-2009, 12:45 AM
Also, if that will not work, could you move your driveway? If you could put your driveway on the other side of your house that would give you more room to plant hedges or put up fencing or whatever. Just brainstorming.

yes, it would be nice to move the drive, Ambrosia, unfortunately, there's not enough property on the other side of the house and we'd still have the problem with the close proximity of their driveway to our house. Sadly, we can't move their driveway.

I have to find a way to get a picture and post it - I'd have to get the shot when they're not home

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-28-2009, 02:18 AM
Call whoever you have to call to get the bloody thing moved when it's sitting where it shouldn't be.

And just out of curiosity and totally unrelated to this issue, does sand in a gas tank do any damage?

KikiteNeko
02-28-2009, 02:33 AM
That would drive me totally nuts and I would continue to fight. It's your home and you have a right to enjoy it.

Wayne K
02-28-2009, 02:38 AM
Call whoever you have to call to get the bloody thing moved when it's sitting where it shouldn't be.

And just out of curiosity and totally unrelated to this issue, does sand in a gas tank do any damage?
Sugar is far more effective, but I'm not throwing that out there as a suggestion. It's a simple answer for science purposes.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-28-2009, 03:58 AM
Thanks, Wayne. I've always wondered. :) Any difference between regular sugar, brown sugar, turbinado, and/or powdered?

Silver King
02-28-2009, 04:41 AM
Where I live, there's an agency (Code Enforcement) that deals specifically with such issues. You just ring them up, voice your complaint and they take care of the problem, usually by fining the person who is not up to code until the issue is resolved.

If it's a serious matter, they'll come out the same day, which happened last year when one of my neighbors built a fence that blocked the view of oncoming traffic. As he was putting in the posts, I told the guy it would be a hazard and cause accidents. He ignored me. I waited a few days until the fence was completely built before making the call. That afternoon, the county sent a crew to dismantle the fence. Another neighbor told me the guy was fined for not having a permit to put up the damn thing in the first place.

Anyway, if I were you, I wouldn't give up the fight, but I also wouldn't allow the struggle to bring me to tears. You should control your emotions and stop taking the issue so personally. Think of it as a hobby or a journey you've undertaken and channel your energy in a positive sense to have that RV removed from your sight once and for all.

And if you decide to continue fighting, it would be very cool if you kept us up to date on your progress. We could act as a support group and follow your progress every step of the way.

Good luck. :)

stormie
02-28-2009, 04:51 AM
We could put a fish or two in their driveway....

Silver King
02-28-2009, 05:11 AM
We could put a fish or two in their driveway....
...Or in their gas tank instead of sugar!

Cathy C
02-28-2009, 06:06 AM
Okay, I was a Planning & Zoning Commissioner for my county for several years and we got a LOT of these sorts of calls---mostly from urban areas, but occasionally from "junkyards" on large tracts of land.

Here's what you do:

You need to think of something that you are NOT ABLE TO DO to enjoy your property because of this RV. Yes, it might be against zoning regs (and possibly covenants of the subdivison---have you checked those, by the way?) but honestly, zoning boards have so much to do that these sorts of complaints tend to fall to the bottom of the pile. I'm not excusing it, but there's only so many hours in a day. I spent close to a WEEK of evenings every month preparing for meetings, and they often went from 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 or 8:00 p.m. So I do understand the problem.

What bumps up a complaint to an actionable event for a zoning board (and the board members really DO want to help. It's why we sign on, after all) is not just an asethetic issue, nor simple inconvenience, but inability to enjoy your property. That will take some thinking on your part, but remember that you've already made allowances and have already tried remedies to allow for their enjoyment.

Now turn the tables.

You'll have to think of something reasonable and logical, like you can't properly water a portion of your lawn, or the plants inside that window can't get any light and are dying, or even that the flowers you want to plant can't get sun. It has to be something that INTERFERES with your use.

Then, take a picture that evidences this interference. Photos are a godsend to zoning boards, because we simply can't be everywhere and it's hard to imagine what's being described. Then, when you have your argument and your pictures, call to put yourself on the zoning board's agenda. Know the section of the Code that's being violated and plan on making a statement and providing the photos for them to look at. Your neighbor will be notified and they might show up. Plan that it could get ugly between you guys. There's no way to keep the peace and still file a complaint that makes them look like jerks. But it CAN work. We did it with a landlord next to us who constantly kept his property in a poor condition. We claimed the weeds were a fire hazard, the lack of painting caused diminished property value, etc. Not only did he have to clean it up, we prevented him from buying any more properties on the block until we moved out.

Stands can work. But you have to put on your best armor and stand strong. :)

Matera the Mad
02-28-2009, 07:05 AM
Fill the window with anti-pollution posters

Wayne K
02-28-2009, 02:22 PM
Thanks, Wayne. I've always wondered. :) Any difference between regular sugar, brown sugar, turbinado, and/or powdered?
I shouldn't comment any further. This could be seen as aiding and abetting and a tasty morsel like me wouldn't last a day in jail.

Mela
03-01-2009, 06:15 PM
Okay, I was a Planning & Zoning Commissioner for my county for several years and we got a LOT of these sorts of calls---mostly from urban areas, but occasionally from "junkyards" on large tracts of land.

Here's what you do:

You need to think of something that you are NOT ABLE TO DO to enjoy your property because of this RV. Yes, it might be against zoning regs (and possibly covenants of the subdivison---have you checked those, by the way?) but honestly, zoning boards have so much to do that these sorts of complaints tend to fall to the bottom of the pile. I'm not excusing it, but there's only so many hours in a day. I spent close to a WEEK of evenings every month preparing for meetings, and they often went from 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 or 8:00 p.m. So I do understand the problem.

What bumps up a complaint to an actionable event for a zoning board (and the board members really DO want to help. It's why we sign on, after all) is not just an asethetic issue, nor simple inconvenience, but inability to enjoy your property. That will take some thinking on your part, but remember that you've already made allowances and have already tried remedies to allow for their enjoyment.

Now turn the tables.

You'll have to think of something reasonable and logical, like you can't properly water a portion of your lawn, or the plants inside that window can't get any light and are dying, or even that the flowers you want to plant can't get sun. It has to be something that INTERFERES with your use.

Then, take a picture that evidences this interference. Photos are a godsend to zoning boards, because we simply can't be everywhere and it's hard to imagine what's being described. Then, when you have your argument and your pictures, call to put yourself on the zoning board's agenda. Know the section of the Code that's being violated and plan on making a statement and providing the photos for them to look at. Your neighbor will be notified and they might show up. Plan that it could get ugly between you guys. There's no way to keep the peace and still file a complaint that makes them look like jerks. But it CAN work. We did it with a landlord next to us who constantly kept his property in a poor condition. We claimed the weeds were a fire hazard, the lack of painting caused diminished property value, etc. Not only did he have to clean it up, we prevented him from buying any more properties on the block until we moved out.

Stands can work. But you have to put on your best armor and stand strong. :)

Thanks Cathy. Actually I was trying stay mildly tolerant of the old RV last year UNTIL I found that stones from their drive had kicked up towards my house from having to back up the heavy vehicles (RV, utility trailer, etc); one stone was sent clear through the dining room screen - so when that happened, it became an issue and I sent in my complaint - the zoning officer came out, sized up the situation and sent them a letter to comply with the ordinance. You see, where I live, it's all about complying with local laws and there are ordinances established to prevent big heavy vehicles like RVs from being parked too close to property lines - in this case, they would need a 10-foot sideyard setback plus an additional tree buffer, which they don't have.

I knew the RV was illegal the minute they parked it there (I used to be a weekly newspaper reporter - very familiar with neighborhood zoning issues) but I decided to handle the situation rationally - I talked to them - they kept on saying they were going to store it elsewhere but the thing always came back.