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- Jun 5, 2008
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“Nekky? Really?” Susie settled onto a chaise with a plate of chocolate brownies. “But this is a PG site, don’t ya think? Mac wouldn’t approve of pornographic material.”
“Hey! I didn’t write it. I just saw it,” Leukman said.
“He’s a ferret. They don’t wear clothes,” Brad said. “He’s supposed to be naked.”
Kit looked uncomfortable. “But, but…”
“Not his butt,” Beach Bunny said licking her lips.
“Oh, come on, people!” Mscelina threw her hands up in the air. “He was behind closed doors for crying out loud.”
“And the security cameras were rolling,” Pagey said with a wink.
* * * * * * * * *
Sir Ferret couldn’t move. His legs and arms were tied down. He tried to remember what he’d done this time to incite the Royal Dungeon Mistress’ anger to send him to the dungeon.
No, not the dungeon. He was still in the woods. Judging from his upright position and the splinters digging into his back, he realized he was tied to a stake. Kindling and branches were piled around his feet. He struggled against his bonds, but they were secure.
”What the Hell?” he said.
"Hell, indeed. You're very perceptive." Something shimmered in front of him alternating between a solid figure and a haze. It was a dark, were creature.
”You're one ugly SOB, you know that? What are you?” Sir Ferret managed a brave voice, even though his insides felt like jelly.
"We are from the other side - shadowy creatures in your realm that can only become solid one night a year. But we want more than that. We want to be solid all the time."
Solid? Shimmery and hazy looked bad enough to Sir Ferret. He definitely didn’t want that thing to take solid form. ”What do you want of me?” he asked.
The creature frowned. "You are inconsequential. We want your queen."
”Hey. Who are you calling inconsequential?”
"Do you want to live, ferret?" the creature spat out.
”Duh.”
"Then deliver the queen to us. She is the only thing that stands between us and freedom from our dimension. Give her to us and we'll set you free."
”What will you do with the queen?”
"We'll kill her. Her death will unfetter us."
”Huh?”
"It will release us."
”Oh.”
"What is your decision, ferret?"
If his hands had been free, Sir Ferret would have delivered a one-finger salute. He yelled the expletive instead.
"I don't understand,” the creature said.
”It means you can shove your plans up you’re a$$. I'm not delivering the queen.”
"Is that your final decision?"
”Yes, light the fire. Let's get this over with.”
A movement in the sky caught Sir Ferret’s attention. Balto! His tiny pet dragon.
”Fly, Balto,” Sir Ferret said. “Timmy's trapped in the well!”
The were creature raised a hand toward the little dragon. A fireball shot out, but Balto dodged it easily and disappeared.
"You'll be dead before they return,” the creature said with a snarl.
”At least you won't have the queen,” Sir Ferret said, sounding braver than he felt. He closed his eyes and willed Balto to fly faster.
The were creature pointed toward the pile of wood. Another fireball sparked the kindling.
* * * * * * * * *
“Did you guys see the super uber private DVD Beach Bunny found tucked away in a corner by the maid’s chambers?” Don asked with a grin. “A couple of us took a little peek last night.”
“Oh, you mean the one where the Queen took a bath and ...”
“Yeah,” Sassandgroove said, interrupting Pagey. “But I can’t tell who else is in the pic. It’s shadowy.”
“Oh, when she grabbed the towel, and …”
“No, it was more when the towel fell and …”
“Shhhh,” Beach Bunny whispered. “Pass me the tequila.” She patted her bikini pocket. “I’ve got it right here. We’ll watch it after the main feature.”
* * * * * * * * *
Back at the castle, Royal Dungeon Mistress Regdog’s chimera stalked back and forth in the great hall like a caged animal. He stopped in mid step and sniffed. A weary Balto dropped just inside the window. Regdog ran to him.
”My sweet baby, what's happened? Where's Shadow?” she said.
Balto growled a response.
”Damn it! I knew something was wrong.” Regdog whistled for her manticore and minotaur. “Keep the castle safe. Guard all those in here.”
She turned to the dragons and chimera. “I need you now more than ever.” She knelt by Balto. “Can you take me to Sir Ferret?”
Balto nodded. Regdog gently lifted the weary little dragon and put him on the chimera’s back. Regdog settled behind him and the fiery crew flew off into the woods.
As they entered the heart of the forest, the dragons and chimera grew tense like coiled springs. The trees grew so thick, Regdog feared they’d suffocate. Balto let out a low growl – a signal to stop. As the dragons and chimera landed, a raw chill of dread ran down Regdog’s spine.
Something moved in the clearing ahead of them. Regdog could barely make out Sir Ferret’s body tied to a stake. A pile of wood smoldered at his feet.
“Wait a minute! No one tortures the ferret or Chihuahua but me! I’m the Dungeon Mistress. It’s MY right!”
When she stepped into the clearing, the were creatures surrounded her.
”You had better have a good reason to be barbecuing my Ferret!”
The creatures hissed.
”Uh-oh, Balto. I think I might have made a big mistake.”
“Regdog!” Sir Ferret cried out. “I see you’re just in time for the roast.”
She wanted to respond to Sir Ferret, but the were creatures' circle tightened around her.
”We want the Queen,” they hissed.
”I am the Queen,” Regdog yelled out. She needed them to believe her. Queen Vixey must be protected.
”No Queen does her own bidding.” They snarled as they continued to circle. One creature got too close to the chimera’s writhing snake head and nearly lost an arm.
”This Queen does.” She was itching for a fight but she needed to be certain Sir Ferret was safely rescued first. “You have taken what belongs to me.”
”We have nothing of yours.”
Regdog sneered. “You have my loyal guard-consort-barkeep. And I am not pleased. Give the ferret to me and you shall live. Challenge me and my pets shall have you for lunch.”
At Regdog’s comment, the dragons reared up and spewed huge fire blooms into the sky. The were creatures cowered and began to back away. From the corner of her eye, Regdog watched Balto crawl over to Sir Ferret and chew through the ropes binding him to the stake. With an evil grin, Regdog released her dragons and chimera to charge at the were creatures.
“Shadow, run!” she called out.
Battered and bloodied, Sir Ferret and Regdog plunged into the woods leaving a battle raging behind them.
* * * * * * * * *
Will Ferret and Regdog reach the castle to warn the others?
Will the were creatures succeed in becoming solid?
Will Beach Bunny hurry up already and put on her private DVD?
“Hey! I didn’t write it. I just saw it,” Leukman said.
“He’s a ferret. They don’t wear clothes,” Brad said. “He’s supposed to be naked.”
Kit looked uncomfortable. “But, but…”
“Not his butt,” Beach Bunny said licking her lips.
“Oh, come on, people!” Mscelina threw her hands up in the air. “He was behind closed doors for crying out loud.”
“And the security cameras were rolling,” Pagey said with a wink.
* * * * * * * * *
Sir Ferret couldn’t move. His legs and arms were tied down. He tried to remember what he’d done this time to incite the Royal Dungeon Mistress’ anger to send him to the dungeon.
No, not the dungeon. He was still in the woods. Judging from his upright position and the splinters digging into his back, he realized he was tied to a stake. Kindling and branches were piled around his feet. He struggled against his bonds, but they were secure.
”What the Hell?” he said.
"Hell, indeed. You're very perceptive." Something shimmered in front of him alternating between a solid figure and a haze. It was a dark, were creature.
”You're one ugly SOB, you know that? What are you?” Sir Ferret managed a brave voice, even though his insides felt like jelly.
"We are from the other side - shadowy creatures in your realm that can only become solid one night a year. But we want more than that. We want to be solid all the time."
Solid? Shimmery and hazy looked bad enough to Sir Ferret. He definitely didn’t want that thing to take solid form. ”What do you want of me?” he asked.
The creature frowned. "You are inconsequential. We want your queen."
”Hey. Who are you calling inconsequential?”
"Do you want to live, ferret?" the creature spat out.
”Duh.”
"Then deliver the queen to us. She is the only thing that stands between us and freedom from our dimension. Give her to us and we'll set you free."
”What will you do with the queen?”
"We'll kill her. Her death will unfetter us."
”Huh?”
"It will release us."
”Oh.”
"What is your decision, ferret?"
If his hands had been free, Sir Ferret would have delivered a one-finger salute. He yelled the expletive instead.
"I don't understand,” the creature said.
”It means you can shove your plans up you’re a$$. I'm not delivering the queen.”
"Is that your final decision?"
”Yes, light the fire. Let's get this over with.”
A movement in the sky caught Sir Ferret’s attention. Balto! His tiny pet dragon.
”Fly, Balto,” Sir Ferret said. “Timmy's trapped in the well!”
The were creature raised a hand toward the little dragon. A fireball shot out, but Balto dodged it easily and disappeared.
"You'll be dead before they return,” the creature said with a snarl.
”At least you won't have the queen,” Sir Ferret said, sounding braver than he felt. He closed his eyes and willed Balto to fly faster.
The were creature pointed toward the pile of wood. Another fireball sparked the kindling.
* * * * * * * * *
“Did you guys see the super uber private DVD Beach Bunny found tucked away in a corner by the maid’s chambers?” Don asked with a grin. “A couple of us took a little peek last night.”
“Oh, you mean the one where the Queen took a bath and ...”
“Yeah,” Sassandgroove said, interrupting Pagey. “But I can’t tell who else is in the pic. It’s shadowy.”
“Oh, when she grabbed the towel, and …”
“No, it was more when the towel fell and …”
“Shhhh,” Beach Bunny whispered. “Pass me the tequila.” She patted her bikini pocket. “I’ve got it right here. We’ll watch it after the main feature.”
* * * * * * * * *
Back at the castle, Royal Dungeon Mistress Regdog’s chimera stalked back and forth in the great hall like a caged animal. He stopped in mid step and sniffed. A weary Balto dropped just inside the window. Regdog ran to him.
”My sweet baby, what's happened? Where's Shadow?” she said.
Balto growled a response.
”Damn it! I knew something was wrong.” Regdog whistled for her manticore and minotaur. “Keep the castle safe. Guard all those in here.”
She turned to the dragons and chimera. “I need you now more than ever.” She knelt by Balto. “Can you take me to Sir Ferret?”
Balto nodded. Regdog gently lifted the weary little dragon and put him on the chimera’s back. Regdog settled behind him and the fiery crew flew off into the woods.
As they entered the heart of the forest, the dragons and chimera grew tense like coiled springs. The trees grew so thick, Regdog feared they’d suffocate. Balto let out a low growl – a signal to stop. As the dragons and chimera landed, a raw chill of dread ran down Regdog’s spine.
Something moved in the clearing ahead of them. Regdog could barely make out Sir Ferret’s body tied to a stake. A pile of wood smoldered at his feet.
“Wait a minute! No one tortures the ferret or Chihuahua but me! I’m the Dungeon Mistress. It’s MY right!”
When she stepped into the clearing, the were creatures surrounded her.
”You had better have a good reason to be barbecuing my Ferret!”
The creatures hissed.
”Uh-oh, Balto. I think I might have made a big mistake.”
“Regdog!” Sir Ferret cried out. “I see you’re just in time for the roast.”
She wanted to respond to Sir Ferret, but the were creatures' circle tightened around her.
”We want the Queen,” they hissed.
”I am the Queen,” Regdog yelled out. She needed them to believe her. Queen Vixey must be protected.
”No Queen does her own bidding.” They snarled as they continued to circle. One creature got too close to the chimera’s writhing snake head and nearly lost an arm.
”This Queen does.” She was itching for a fight but she needed to be certain Sir Ferret was safely rescued first. “You have taken what belongs to me.”
”We have nothing of yours.”
Regdog sneered. “You have my loyal guard-consort-barkeep. And I am not pleased. Give the ferret to me and you shall live. Challenge me and my pets shall have you for lunch.”
At Regdog’s comment, the dragons reared up and spewed huge fire blooms into the sky. The were creatures cowered and began to back away. From the corner of her eye, Regdog watched Balto crawl over to Sir Ferret and chew through the ropes binding him to the stake. With an evil grin, Regdog released her dragons and chimera to charge at the were creatures.
“Shadow, run!” she called out.
Battered and bloodied, Sir Ferret and Regdog plunged into the woods leaving a battle raging behind them.
* * * * * * * * *
Will Ferret and Regdog reach the castle to warn the others?
Will the were creatures succeed in becoming solid?
Will Beach Bunny hurry up already and put on her private DVD?
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