A Facebook Message From a "Friend"

Bravo

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this kid from college sent me this message on facebook:

what up homiee? i jsut got back to da states n in da chi studyin for my USMLEs. tryin ta catch up on dis FB thingy? u still in da chi? wass been gud dawg? u know jespers thingy on hea? holla

someone please translate.
 

Bravo

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his about me section:

im just me tryin to be me n no one else. Haters gonna hate and imma keep on playin..thats how it goes. People usually describe me as crazy because i love life and live it to the fullest. Dont give a fuck what rumors people make and say bc life is short and u gotta smile all the way through. I am very open-minded and do many spur of the moment things love livin life and just havin fun while chakkin dem phattehs all the way throughh! Im Da tyPe of DudE dat DOnt Give A fuCK abouT whaT othERs DO, I do MY owN thang.I DOnt B foLLowIN anYOne I gOT mY owN FollOWerS cUZ iM a LeaDER! I DOnt FollOW deM rULEs, I bREAK eM , CUZ i Got My OWn RulEs.I GuesS u CAN jUST say im -ON soME next leveL..I B up IN dem stArs- U Aint oN my LEveL....PeOPle Say Im CrAzy BuT U Aint NO WhAt CrAzy is UnTIL U sTep InTo Ma World- WoRD!
 

Cranky

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*head explodes*

Sorry, I can't translate beyond "Hey, look at me! I'm a rebel...look at my spelling! It's the shiznit!"

There might be something in there about dress patterns, too. Not sure.
 

CaroGirl

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I think it says, "I bought a new keyboard and can't figure out how it works." Either that or your friend is seriously ESL.

How old are you anyway, Bravo?
 

Namatu

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Dude.

I think I need some alcohol now to dull the horror. Wendy's right: "reject me!" Foh sHuR! (Writing that hurt, by the way.)
 

Bravo

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I think it says, "I bought a new keyboard and can't figure out how it works." Either that or your friend is seriously ESL.

How old are you anyway, Bravo?

this guy is 24 or 25 years old.
 

Bravo

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oops i forgot the rest of his about me stuff:


"REal RECogNIZE REAL homiE"

Nosy people- if you have the time to actually worry about my business- get a life and a better job, lol. " DA HOMIE" aka TANU lol!

If you need to know the whole world to feel better about yourself- or need to be friends with everyone to feel accepted- grow up we are not in kindergarten. The best way to sum this up is - if everyone is your friend- no one is your friend. I do believe in having enemies; however, the best way to beat your enemy is to make your enemy your friend :) Oxy Moron, yes I know! "DA HOMIE aka TANU"

please also note that this guy is not hispanic.

and he grew up in an affluent chicago suburb.

thank you
 

regdog

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I'll give it a go.

what up homiee? i jsut got back to da states n in da chi studyin for my USMLEs. tryin ta catch up on dis FB thingy? u still in da chi? wass been gud dawg? u know jespers thingy on hea? holla

Dearest old friend,

I have just returned to the United States of America. I am currently residing in Chicago where I am metriculating for my USMLEs. I am hoping to contact old acquaintences by using the internet site FaceBook. Are you still residing in Chicago. Has everything been satisfactory in your life, my old friend? Do you know of the "Jespers" part of this FaceBook.

Regards and hope to converse with you soon.
 

CaroGirl

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I think you should respond with the following:

Dear Mr. Moron (or may I call you Oxy),

I do not wish to know your business. I do not care if you enjoy flauting authority, misspelling simple words, or insulting visitors to your Facebook page.

I hope you have less trouble deciphering my prose than I had deciphering yours.

Good day to you, Sir.

luv Bravo, fo shizzle
 

rhymegirl

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Scary, isn't it? Guess that's why I'm not on Facebook.
 

James81

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someone please translate.

"I probably possess the ability to write a halfway decent sentence but choose not to on purpose because I am afraid of what people might think I'm a geek for knowing basic grammar."

Or

"If it weren't for my horse, I never would have made it through that year of college."
 

GeorgeK

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I have a feeling that in this case he's not studying for the United States Medical Licensing Exam. (I think that is what replaced National Board Exam which was required by many medical schools in addition to the courseload)
 

Wayne K

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his about me section:

im just me tryin to be me n no one else. Haters gonna hate and imma keep on playin..thats how it goes. People usually describe me as crazy because i love life and live it to the fullest. Dont give a fuck what rumors people make and say bc life is short and u gotta smile all the way through. I am very open-minded and do many spur of the moment things love livin life and just havin fun while chakkin dem phattehs all the way throughh! Im Da tyPe of DudE dat DOnt Give A fuCK abouT whaT othERs DO, I do MY owN thang.I DOnt B foLLowIN anYOne I gOT mY owN FollOWerS cUZ iM a LeaDER! I DOnt FollOW deM rULEs, I bREAK eM , CUZ i Got My OWn RulEs.I GuesS u CAN jUST say im -ON soME next leveL..I B up IN dem stArs- U Aint oN my LEveL....PeOPle Say Im CrAzy BuT U Aint NO WhAt CrAzy is UnTIL U sTep InTo Ma World- WoRD!
Yo, true dat! I been in the hizzle forthnight yo.
 

GeorgeK

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his about me section:

im just me tryin to be me n no one else. Haters gonna hate and imma keep on playin..thats how it goes. People usually describe me as crazy because i love life and live it to the fullest. Dont give a fuck what rumors people make and say bc life is short and u gotta smile all the way through. I am very open-minded and do many spur of the moment things love livin life and just havin fun while chakkin dem phattehs all the way throughh! Im Da tyPe of DudE dat DOnt Give A fuCK abouT whaT othERs DO, I do MY owN thang.I DOnt B foLLowIN anYOne I gOT mY owN FollOWerS cUZ iM a LeaDER! I DOnt FollOW deM rULEs, I bREAK eM , CUZ i Got My OWn RulEs.I GuesS u CAN jUST say im -ON soME next leveL..I B up IN dem stArs- U Aint oN my LEveL....PeOPle Say Im CrAzy BuT U Aint NO WhAt CrAzy is UnTIL U sTep InTo Ma World- WoRD!

I keep wondering if there's some cypher in there. Did he always talk like this? (I assume, no, or you wouldn't have been disturbed by it.)
 
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M.R.J. Le Blanc

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Ugh. This just screams either 'OMG LOOK AT ME I'M SO COOL!' Me I wouldn't even reply - on the blocklist you go.
 

Perks

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You have the coolest friends, Bravo. I'm gonna try to get on board with you over at Facebook. You can run, but you can't hide.
 

GeorgeK

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georgek iz a hata whoz just not down wit me and mY WoRlD!!

What's a hata?
Someone who wears a hat, ergo a suit, ergo a member of the establishment?

I have heard, I think regarding me, "Dat white boy, he so square he's a cube."