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View Full Version : Am I the only married person around here who doesn't enjoy this day?



Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 09:10 PM
Cause it sure as hell seems like it. Ugh! I loathe V-Day. It's horrid and pointless. The only good thing about it is...... damn! I can't even come up with one thing.

I'm with the single folks on this day really. Just because I'm married doesn't mean that I'm going to be having dinner tonight, getting flowers, or anything else for that matter. It's just another day on the calendar, no different from any other.

So, what I want to know is am I the only one?

RobJ
02-14-2009, 09:21 PM
At some level every day is just another day, but in particular cases we attach a special meaning to a day. Valentine's Day seems fine to me. Even if someone doesn't have a reason to join in, I don't see why they would consider it 'horrid'. Some things in life really are horrid.

Cheers,
Rob

Wayne K
02-14-2009, 09:21 PM
I spend the whole day thinking about the people I've been with in my life, and how they affected me. I've been lucky at love. Very lucky as a matter of fact.

Stacia Kane
02-14-2009, 09:21 PM
Nope. My husband and I almost always manage to get into a fight on V-Day. The last few years we've just basically ignored it, except that we get take-out so I don't have to cook. Aside from that? Any other day.

WittyWordsmith
02-14-2009, 09:23 PM
No. I've been with my husband for a while, and long ago we decided this day was more fluff and marketing than anything.

I have nothing AGAINST Valentine's Day, and at it's core it's a nice idea. The issue is all the pressure on people to love or buy or do something they normally wouldn't. Why do we need a day for that?

If you love someone, any day can be a day to show them. Don't do it simply because the stores tell you to. So I suppose I'm saying it's the outside pressures that ruin it for me (even though I'm with someone!)

We actually have boycotted trying to go to dinner. Waiting 3 hours for bad service while dressed up and crammed into restaurants with other poor saps... notsomuch.

Kate Thornton
02-14-2009, 09:23 PM
I enjoy every day.

We've been married nearly 30 years - DH got me an orchid last week, I wrote - by hand with my non-qwriting hand - a little card for him. And now we're doing yard work.

We don't do candy, dinners, cut flowers, etc. Our wedding anniversary is 4 weeks from V-day, so we save the sentiment for then.

But aside from not being able to get in anywhere for dinner, the day just seems like a schoolchild's holiday, with pretty cards and little conversation hearts. We don't think of it much one way or the other.

Like I said, though, we try to enjoy every day.

robeiae
02-14-2009, 09:27 PM
Wait a minute...TODAY is Valentine's Day?!?!

Oh, crap...

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 09:31 PM
*tries to remember what it's like to be happily married*

Nope, I got nothin'.

Greenify13
02-14-2009, 09:32 PM
I don't hate V-day, to say that would be going overboard. In most cases today is just like any other day. I hope to get some rental movies out of it, and I want to get my son something like a huge stuffed animal, since I did not get him anything last year at all. But I guess we will see how things go.

Clair Dickson
02-14-2009, 09:48 PM
Hubby likes to make something special of it, but he likes special days. I say, if we take care of each other the rest of the year, then every day will be special and occaision for presents and lovings.

But when it comes to the things that are "supposed" to be Valentine's staples, here's how they don't happen in our house.
I would kick him in the jewels if he wasted money on jewelry for me.
I don't care much for flowers because they just die.
I'm allergic to most candy and being ill is hardly an enjoyable way to spend a 'special day'.
I hate, hate, hate the movie theatre and try to just go once a year (my anniversary present to Hubby.)
Because of my allergies, eating out is highly risky.
I get bored with romantic things, both in and out of the bedroom.

Though, Sneaky Devil, perhaps it's not Valentine's Day that's the issue for you... perhaps it's the fact that something is missing from your marriage the other 364 days of the year. If there's no joy or love to celebrate on V-Day, then the day would, I can only imagine, feel hollow and painful. A reminder of what you don't have.

What I WISH Valentine's Day was about: listening. REALLY listening to how your partner feels. For both sides. Whoever yells most/ first should SHUT UP and just listen to their spouse. No rebuttals, no argument, just listen and try to understand. This is the person you said you would always love and care about. If you don't listen, how can you care? And there should be no attacks-- you always do this-- that's not a feeling. Sometimes, in the business and every day arguments, we often forget to listen. When we date, we listen SO intently. Nothing is more interesting than what our partner says. But a few years of marriage and it's now all about ME. Not about us, or about you. It's easy to fall into. I'm currently climbing me ass out of that hole myself. I need to do better listening to my beloved. That's what I'm going to do for Valentine's Day. I started last night. (Now he won't stop hugging me... =/)

robeiae
02-14-2009, 09:56 PM
Is a Starbucks tumbler a good gift for me to get my wife?

WittyWordsmith
02-14-2009, 10:06 PM
I say don't BUY something for her, DO something for her.

maestrowork
02-14-2009, 10:07 PM
Is a Starbucks tumbler a good gift for me to get my wife?

I'm sure it's nice, and you'll be getting a mop and a bucket in return.

Happy Valentine's Day.

robeiae
02-14-2009, 10:08 PM
Well then, how about a new toilet brush? With little paper hearts glued to it?

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 10:10 PM
That would be good rob, just don't be surprised when she hands it back to you and sets you to work. :D

WittyWordsmith
02-14-2009, 10:16 PM
Well then, how about a new toilet brush? With little paper hearts glued to it?


Sure, and now you're cut off until Next Valentine's Day.

Enjoy the chastity.

robeiae
02-14-2009, 10:18 PM
But it has an ergonomically designed handle...

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 10:21 PM
*types a response about where the handle might end up then hits the backspace key* :D

TheRightEyedDeer
02-14-2009, 10:25 PM
Every day's Valentine's Day!

Okay. 'nuff of that BS ...

Hubby sent me a Hallmark ecard and I sent him one back. Then he yelled at me for complaining about how messy the kitchen was (HE'S in charge of that stuff around here). Now we're heading off the laundromat to wash all the stinky dog bedding.

Real life's just not set up for hearts, chocolates and roses, is it?

DL Hegel
02-14-2009, 10:29 PM
I wanted comic books--all the kids brought me chocolates--but that's good. I still want comic books:D

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 10:33 PM
Here ya go DL :D

http://most-expensive.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/expensive-comic-book.jpg
http://www.lesjones.com/www/images/posts/v2spiderman04.jpg

CrownedSun
02-14-2009, 10:41 PM
Heh, I'm single and I like Valentines. It doesn't really make me lonely, though, which seems to be the main reason single people don't like it.

That said, I can definitely see your point of view. :D Valentines is more for people in new relationships than anyone else...

As for myself, I tend to be a silly romantic nutjob all the time, so Valentines doesn't really bug me. It's just another day, but one in which I traditionally like the decor.

:LilLove:

soapdish
02-14-2009, 11:06 PM
We don't celebrate in my house either. :) Too sappy.

CaroGirl
02-14-2009, 11:06 PM
I expect nothing for Valentine's Day, mostly because I think the "holiday" is stupid. It's nothing but a marketing ploy dreamed up by the flower and candy industry designed to guilt us into buying stuff.

That said, I got a card from my kids, my dh bought my roses, and my dh and son are making dinner for us tonight. Bbq salmon steaks, rice and green beans. Yum.

Today's been a good day so far, but not because of Valentine's day.

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 11:11 PM
I must say that my wonderful friends here at AW have gone to great lengths to perk me up today and they're doing a wonderful job of it. I'm certainly feeling less snarky than I was when I started this thread earlier. :)

Fenika
02-14-2009, 11:20 PM
*hands Sneaky The Stick*

Enjoy :)

DL Hegel
02-14-2009, 11:23 PM
Here ya go DL :D

http://most-expensive.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/expensive-comic-book.jpg
http://www.lesjones.com/www/images/posts/v2spiderman04.jpg

thanks Sneaky--do you have anything in a buffy, angel, or serenity?

RobJ
02-14-2009, 11:28 PM
I expect nothing for Valentine's Day, mostly because I think the "holiday" is stupid. It's nothing but a marketing ploy dreamed up by the flower and candy industry designed to guilt us into buying stuff.
Sorry, but that's BS. Valentine's Day wasn't dreamed up by the flower and candy industry.

Cheers,
Rob

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 11:36 PM
thanks Sneaky--do you have anything in a buffy, angel, or serenity?
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/071204/angel_l.jpg
http://www.dreadcentral.com/img/news/sep07/angelcomic.jpg
Did ya really doubt me? :D

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 11:37 PM
*hands Sneaky The Stick*

Enjoy :)
Are ya sure that was a good idea? :D

:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:
:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:
:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:
:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:
:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:
:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:
:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:
:e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke: :e2poke:

DL Hegel
02-14-2009, 11:39 PM
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/071204/angel_l.jpg
http://www.dreadcentral.com/img/news/sep07/angelcomic.jpg
Did ya really doubt me? :D

never--my dear.
I heart Sneaky!!!

Precision Grace
02-14-2009, 11:45 PM
No you are not alone. I don't celebrate Valentine's, Christmas, Easter or any other celebration of mass hypnosis including The Burns Night :D
I find the idea of some external force determining when I should feel what and about whom meddlesome, worrysome and offensive.
Bah hambug

Sneaky Devil
02-14-2009, 11:48 PM
:e2woo: :e2woo: bah humbug indeed! :D

CrownedSun
02-15-2009, 12:00 AM
The poke brigade strikes again!

Sneaky Devil
02-15-2009, 12:02 AM
I can't help it Crown, I see certain people here at AW and the stick just comes out. :D

CrownedSun
02-15-2009, 12:07 AM
I can't help but picture you in military fatigues, somewhere out in the desert, running your very own Poke-Brigade Training Camp. ;)

"Not with the Wrist, Jenkins! Poking should use your whole body!"

Sneaky Devil
02-15-2009, 12:11 AM
:ROFL:
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/14/14_2_105.gif http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/14/14_2_107.gif

:D

emc07
02-15-2009, 12:20 AM
Cause it sure as hell seems like it. Ugh! I loathe V-Day. It's horrid and pointless. The only good thing about it is...... damn! I can't even come up with one thing.

I'm with the single folks on this day really. Just because I'm married doesn't mean that I'm going to be having dinner tonight, getting flowers, or anything else for that matter. It's just another day on the calendar, no different from any other.

So, what I want to know is am I the only one?

Nope. We give each other cards, but we are not romantic people at all. I work for a mall office so I really dislike all the holidays... I don't like sweetest day either, which most of you probably don't have.

My mom called today and wants to go to dinner tonight. So... well, there you go. That's my v-day spending it with my husband, my mother and step father. Oh well.

cooeedownunder
02-15-2009, 12:41 AM
We don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We don't need another special day to show that we care for each other. We do this daily by words or action.

thethinker42
02-15-2009, 12:45 AM
We don't do Valentine's Day. I think it's materialistic and overrated. It puts too much pressure on the men and makes some women very catty and competitive. (I'll never forget when two of my co-workers were yelling at their husbands because my then-boyfriend gave me a bigger flower arrangement than their husbands gave them)

I just don't dig Valentine's Day. Took me a few years to convince my husband that I meant it (as opposed to "I'm saying don't get me anything, but I really mean that if you don't get me something, you're in deep shit"), but he gets it now.

Sweetleaf
02-15-2009, 02:33 AM
My husband and I don't usually do anything for V-Day. But this year he bought me a bottle of vodka, ha ha.

I shouted him a trip to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. ;)

Wayne K
02-15-2009, 03:47 AM
I bought the wife a three dollar heart of chocolates, sat her down, and told her that she was far better than I deserve. V-Day gave me the opportunity to make her feel good, so this year it was pretty good. What people need to do is get past the monetary garbage, like buying your wife a Jaguar for Christmas. I would give my life for her, and she knows it. That's what love is about.

Carole
02-15-2009, 08:26 AM
We don't really do Valentine's day either. Mr. Vagabond is rarely home for it, and when he is it's like we don't really know what to do. This year, I bought him (and me!!) some of that really groovy his & hers stuff and he bought me a movie, and some things that I don't normally buy for myself like expensive shampoos and neato razors and things like that. He knows I like those things, and he also knows I will opt for cheap if I am buying for myself. Right now, he is downstairs studying algebra and i am up here doing this. We did have mini cream puffs dipped in hot fudge earlier, though. I guess that's the extent of our romantic evening. Haha.

We're funny, though. We do random, really romantic things all the time. We just don't do them on Valentine's day. Like a few days ago, I was up here studying and he called up the stairs, "Hey Baby! Would you go on a date with me?" I said, "When?" and he said, "Right now". :)

WittyWordsmith
02-15-2009, 09:30 AM
I like hearing everyone's stories of how they handle this day. It's good to see people that have healthy relationships and don't feel the need to give into all the pressure and money-centered things.

The idea of a "day of love" is good. The way it's been raped by the retail industry and become all about consumerism is what's the worst part.

Wayne K
02-15-2009, 03:25 PM
I like hearing everyone's stories of how they handle this day. It's good to see people that have healthy relationships and don't feel the need to give into all the pressure and money-centered things.

The idea of a "day of love" is good. The way it's been raped by the retail industry and become all about consumerism is what's the worst part.

If they can get away with doing it to Jesus's birthday...

Thump
02-15-2009, 03:42 PM
I enjoy it :) Always have. Yesterday was the first V-day in my life that I haven't been single. Before that, I spent it with whichever friends were available and let everyone I care for know that I do. I enjoy Christmas the same way. Nevermind the commercialization of the holiday. If others want to buy into all that, it's up to them. I celebrate things because of the idea behind it not the stuff I can get and have to get for others.

Yeah, if you care for someone you should let them know any time but who really remembers to do it? Way I see it, it's not a bad idea to give people a nudge once a year to remember to say "I love you".

RobJ
02-15-2009, 06:16 PM
I don't see it as an either-or. You can be loving and romantic all year round and still celebrate Valentine's Day. For me, it's a traditional that goes back to childhood, like many others. My wife and I have always celebrated it, since we first started dating.

As for the commercialization, I've never bought a card that I wasn't happy to or that I felt pressured to. I buy cards for birthdays, weddings, and births too, and have never felt raped by the retail industry. Any transactions have been consensual. The fact that the industry is there is an indicator of supply and demand, nothing more.

Cheers,
Rob

dpaterso
02-15-2009, 06:23 PM
It's an excuse to go out for a meal. Which we duly did (urp!). And I got her a couple of relatively inexpensive bunches of flowers which she had fun trimming and arranging. Didn't break the bank and everybody's happy. Looking forward to my next dose of V.D.

-Derek

brokenfingers
02-15-2009, 06:50 PM
Valentine's Day was great!

Spent it with a bunch of buddies, working on trucks and equipment.

Good times.

JeanneTGC
02-17-2009, 09:40 AM
We went to dinner and a hockey game. At my suggestion.

Nothing says "love" to me more than getting to go scream, "Kill him! KILL...HIM...Kill him! FIGHT, dammit, FIGHT!" in an ice arena with several thousand of my people. (During hockey games, I define "my people" to be the others screaming at the top of their lungs that the players should shoot the puck, give the hardest checks known to mankind, and kill the opposing players...aka, other real hockey fans.)

We tend to only go out on Valentine's Day if the hockey team is at home. Otherwise, we hang out and do whatever. We don't make a big deal of the day too often -- sometimes we want to and sometimes we don't.

Sadly, our team lost (badly), but there were TWO fights (and we won both) and we had fun anyway. :D