View Full Version : My Valentine's Dilemma

02-14-2009, 08:49 PM
No dilemma

Kate Thornton
02-14-2009, 09:29 PM
Going out with your parents on V-Day - especially if you don't want to - seems weird and not something they would want. I don't understand why they would want you to join them.

You are old enough to have your own life. Do what you want.

BUT - If they really and truly would be hurt by you not attending, I would think twice about it. I would give anything to see my parents again, let alone together and at a dinner. Maybe you could give them your cheerful presence as a gift.

02-14-2009, 09:41 PM
I would give anything to see my parents again, let alone together and at a dinner.


02-14-2009, 10:03 PM
I think going out to dinner with parents on V-Day is kind of nice.

But making someone feel guilty for not celebrating the day or for being single is just dumb. It's they who should "get over themselves."

You're an adult. You get to choose how to spend your day or night and if you don't care about Valentine's Day (which is a rather silly holiday, if you ask me -- probably made up by greeting card and chocolate companies), there's nothing to "get over."

That said, spending time with your parents should be something nice and fun to do, on any given day -- the older I get, the more I want to spend time with them because, you know, our days together become shorter and shorter, and soon they will be gone.

Clair Dickson
02-14-2009, 10:28 PM
You know, the restaurants are going to be noisy and crowded. Ugh. That's reason enough for ME to stay home.

Beach Bunny
02-14-2009, 11:21 PM
While I understand the sentiments of those who miss their parents and wish they had your dilemma, not everyone had a happy childhood or great parents.

If you don't want to go to dinner with them tonight, then don't go. Yes, there will be fall out to deal with. As for that guilttrip they are handing you, don't take it. You have nothing to feel guilty about. It is Valentine's Day for you as well as them. If they want to spend the day with you, why aren't they suggesting something which you would enjoy doing? Why aren't they taking your wants and needs into consideration? If they don't want to do that, then don't go.

And I would say that to them. This is about boundaries and drawing a line in the sand with parents who don't respect you. But, be prepared for the fallout. It is their way of manipulating you. :)


Happy Valentine's Day!

Here have a chocolate martini:


02-14-2009, 11:37 PM
Well, let's see, OP. Romance, sex, procreation -- pretty good reason for marriage. I can understand how some couples would want to honor not just the urge but also the result.

DL Hegel
02-14-2009, 11:54 PM
there is nothing wrong with being prideful. I personally don't like to be seen in public with either if my parents--at anytime.(tee-hee) when I was single--I did the pal--drinking fun fest--and liked it way better than the date thing. I would just remind my folks--it's what I want to do--and they need to 'deal'--it doesn't sound unreasonable to me at all:)

Good luck and V-day hugs to my favorite party girl:)

02-15-2009, 12:16 AM
Since I've been living back in California, and been single, there has been an assumption that I should do everything with them. I spent New Years Eve with them. I ride (along with my son) in the back seat of their car to most family functions, just as I did when I was a kid. Never will they agree to go in my car (and I'm a very good driver, have a nice clean car with low miles), and when I bring up how I may bring my own car to the next family event, even I see how ridculous it is for the 4 of us to take 2 cars to an event 90 miles away.
Yeah, maybe there's a relationship issue here between you and your parents that needs addressing. It might be as simple as talking your feelings over with them (or it might not). Either way, I hope you have a nice day.


02-15-2009, 12:48 AM
Love is complicated. Seems unsurprising that a day set aside to honor it would be complicated.

02-15-2009, 01:07 AM
Go out and enjoy the night for the companionship it offers. I don't think people will be thinking, 'she's here with her parents, poor devil'.

You say you are comforatable with yourself, and that is usually a time when people notice your confidence, and in turn, you never know, it could be the day you do meet someone special, even if you aren't needing to. :)

DL Hegel
02-15-2009, 05:50 AM
good luck MsK--big hugs:)