Stupid injuries we have all sustained

Nearly slicing the top of my finger off with a tin of Fray Bentos corned beef.
Breaking my arm by tripping in a hole in the road while cloud-gazing.
Breaking my arm by falling from a stack of hay bales
Breaking my arm by falling five feet out of an apple tree

Earlier this week, sometime between the time I went to sleep and the time I woke up, I managed to wrench my back on the right side from the middle all the way down to my glutes.

I have no effin' idea how that happened. What'd I do, get up and start doing a crazy dance in my sleep?

I also managed to somehow get my shoulder out of place by wringing a mop.

The dumbest thing, though, was the time in boot camp, when I stupidly placed my clothes beneath the fusebox in our communal bathroom. When I bent down to collect my clothes, I just stood right up, forgetting that the fusebox was there. I almost knocked myself out.

"How'd ya come to break your leg?"
"I didn't. I come to fix the roof"

Who is the new avi SP?

I was running up the stairs when I was 7 years old, and slipped on the steps, fell on my chin, and bit the end of my tongue almost completely off.

I had to get several stitches in my tongue and eat applesauce and mashed potatoes for weeks.

scarletpeaches said:

Oh, you just reminded me of the time I left an upper cupboard in the kitchen open, bent to get a plate from a low one, stood up and...

You can guess the rest.

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I've done that, too. Oh, I can't believe I forgot this one: When I was six months preggo with Jason, I started walking down the stairs, holding my then three year old. Second step, my feet went right out from underneath me (socks are not my friend), and I fell all the way down on my ass, because I was afraid to let go of my son.

Broke my tailbone.

And this! About a month prior to this, I was trying to get a very heavy safe onto a dolly (we were setting up new offices), and it slipped and landed on my ankle. I sprained it.

Playing American flag football for the military team. As a wide receiver.

First play of the first game of the season, pushed off with my left leg and ... r-r-r-r-r-rip went my groin. Sidelined from playing and juuuuuuuhst about everything else for almost six months.

I serially hit my head. Almost every day. Most recently, I dropped a sock from the dryer, knelt to retrieve it, and the crown of my head met the open door as I was standing up (that one actually hurt).

Before that, I hung up the phone, turned around and walked straight into the corner of an open cabinet.

Before that, I leaned to put a book away--coz a jackass customer wouldn't move for the second it would take--and the corner of a bookshelf hit and cut my nose.

When I was a kid, I refused to tie my shoe, tripped and skidded three feet, facedown, on the sidewalk. The day before the start of kindergarten. Miraculously, I've no scars.

Also as a kid, I was carrying a plastic kids' chair down the stairs, tumbled over it and hit the wall.

Slipped on morning dew and fell under a parked car. Left a nice gash on my leg--I could see the bone.

Used to figure skate when I was a teenager. One day, stepped on the ice with my guards still on, faceplanted on the ice, and my lip got stuck on my braces.

I'm amazed that I bear no evidence of all my idiotic accidents. I've never had stitches or broken any bones. *knocks on wooden surface many times* Anyway... I hope I've made someone feel better... :/

A particularly moronic injury.. well, injuries, came in a two-part event:

I was getting off the bus, then false-stepped and I heard my foot crack. I yelled in pain, since I hit that spot in the foot.

Then, the next day... same bus, same stop, same false-step, same crack, same terrible pain... the other foot.

While jumping up and down to keep warm waiting foe a cab on a January night.....I fell off 3 1/2 inches of pavement and broke my ankle in two places.
I had downed a fair amount of Whiskey prior the accident...so when asked what had happened by the doctor treating me in Accident and Emergency...I said I had been hit by a Canadian Club!

Shot myself in the hand with a staple gun when I was ten or so... what? I was just lookin' at it! Really. I didn't mean to grip the handle with my other hand over the business end!

We used to have 'pot-luck lunches' at the big X when I worked there... the morning of one, I was coming in, carrying a huge pan of homemade dinner rolls in one arm and a bag of paper goods in the other across the parking lot. I tripped over absolutely nothing and went down face first to kiss a square foot of the finest cement 50 Penn Place could afford to install. Cracked a tooth, busted my lip, bruised my cheek... but I managed to save the rolls and the paper plates!

I walked into a road sign.

*sighs*

I have no idea how it happened. My forehead was a nasty mess for weeks afterwards. I'm lucky there's no scar...

If a camera had been rolling, I would have entered the video on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Three weeks ago we got an ice storm. There are three concrete steps from the back porch to the driveway. I had cleared the ice off after the storm. We were having a warmup. The gutter above the steps was dripping water down onto the steps. I had no idea the steps had refrozen.

My arms laden down, I stepped outside to go to my car. I slipped, quite theatrically, I think, and landed on my upper butt area, coming down on my left elbow.

The pain was enormous.

After I recovered, I salted the steps. A minute later, my pregnant wife arrived home and I told her what happened. (It was a good thing I found the ice; she might not have seen it and slipped herself, possibly causing trouble.)

We pulled off my shirt and she cleaned the wound and said that there was a "hole" in my skin at the elbow, and that it possibly needed stitches.

Since I lost my job, I have no health insurance, so emergency room visits are on the Off list.

Well, my elbow and arm were still operational, so I had to cover the wound with a bandaid. I found a special Bandaid that seals over a wound and is supposed to let it heal. I change this bandaid once a week.

My arm aches at the elbow. When I feel the achey part with my finger, I can feel an indentation that is not present in the identical place on the other elbow. I believe I cracked it, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Meanwhile, my wound is healing . . . slowly.

Ouch. And it hurts like hell whenever I bump it, which is pretty much all the time.

jgold said:

I walked into a road sign.

*sighs*

I have no idea how it happened. My forehead was a nasty mess for weeks afterwards. I'm lucky there's no scar...

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What did it said?

Kaiser-Kun said:

What did it said?

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Stop or Yield would be a little ironical.

I wish it had been a stop sign. But I'm pretty sure it was just a speed limit sign.

I tried to make creme brulee. Twice. Once using a gas oven with a pilot light in student lodgings in England; once using a torch.

It's important to be very careful when lighting pilot lights.

I didn't know they meant a "kitchen torch."

My eyebrows did grow back.

Beware gas stoves! We had a monstrous, cat iron six-burner from the twenties that nearly took an inch off my hair.

And some chunks out of the doorframe when it was taken apart and removed.

Sliced my palm absent-mindedly drawing a razor across it to clean it.

Okay, I actually got NOMINATED by this organization I volunteer with for a dubious award called 'The Horse's Ass' (it's an equestrian trophy, with the rider and the front half of the horse cut off, leaving, yes, the horse's ass) for this one:

In October I did a 335 mile charity bike ride through the mountains of California's Eastern Sierra. I was TERRIFIED that I was going to hurt myself, probably by falling off the bike or being blown over a cliff in the wind or something. I did not. However, on the 2.5 hour drive to the starting point, we pulled over so I could have a pee on the side of the road. While walking around the car to have said pee, I fell over, and skinned both knees and both hands. That was the worst injury I incurred on the whole trip. When I got to the actual bike ride, everyone kept asking sympathetically if I had fallen off my bike and hurt myself (cuz of all the bandaids). I should have just said yes...

The 'Horse's Ass' has not been awarded yet this year, but I feel that I won't win this year because I know other people in the group did much, much stupider things.

I did the old "bash your thumb with a hammer" thing putting together a cabinet. The best part was that I was thinking "you better get yourself some pliers to hold this nail with, girl, cause you're gonna hit your thumb" and sure enough - wham!

Then there was the time I was trying to light a stubborn incense cone that just didn't want to light. On about the fifth try, I wound up setting my long red acrylic thumbnail on fire. I yelped, dropped the cone, stuck my thumb in the bowl full of sand the cone was supposed to go in to put it out - and in the meantime melted a quarter-sized hole in the rug with the cone, which had finally decided to light after all...I tell you, had I lived in the Middle Ages, they wouldn't have had to burn me at the stake for being a witch; I probably would have managed to do it all by myself.

Then there was the time I dropped a glass, tried to pick up the pieces and ended up cutting myself nearly to the bone with one - so much for trying to be nice...

Let's see, where to start?

I almost completely severed my pinky toe on a broken bottle at the beach.
I broke my foot twice in the same place doing the same thing (jiu jitsu)
I dislocated my thumb the one time I tried to play basketball
I ran into a parked car on a bicycle once and had some nice scrapes after that
I pulled a muscle in my foot running from my car

The list goes on...