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scarletpeaches
02-13-2009, 08:02 PM
I've just done it again. Not too severe this time, but I had my CD player speakers on the floor, bent to pick one up and managed to mangle my pinky toe by battering it off my armchair.

I have also (in the past, not all at once) razored a chunk of skin off the palm of my hand - needed two stitches there.

Oh, and there was the time I managed to close a door in my hall, mysteriously forgetting my head was in the way, thereby grazing off the top layer of skin in a Harry Potteresque lightning bolt shape across my forehead.

And years ago I dislocated my thumb punching someone. But we won't talk about that.

Go on. Tell me how stupid y'all are. I don't want to feel like the only self-harming-by-accident goon in here.

firedrake
02-13-2009, 08:06 PM
Nearly slicing the top of my finger off with a tin of Fray Bentos corned beef.
Breaking my arm by tripping in a hole in the road while cloud-gazing.
Breaking my arm by falling from a stack of hay bales
Breaking my arm by falling five feet out of an apple tree

Cranky
02-13-2009, 08:06 PM
Earlier this week, sometime between the time I went to sleep and the time I woke up, I managed to wrench my back on the right side from the middle all the way down to my glutes.

I have no effin' idea how that happened. What'd I do, get up and start doing a crazy dance in my sleep?

I also managed to somehow get my shoulder out of place by wringing a mop.

The dumbest thing, though, was the time in boot camp, when I stupidly placed my clothes beneath the fusebox in our communal bathroom. When I bent down to collect my clothes, I just stood right up, forgetting that the fusebox was there. I almost knocked myself out.

scarletpeaches
02-13-2009, 08:08 PM
Oh, you just reminded me of the time I left an upper cupboard in the kitchen open, bent to get a plate from a low one, stood up and...

You can guess the rest.

Wayne K
02-13-2009, 08:10 PM
"How'd ya come to break your leg?"
"I didn't. I come to fix the roof"

Wayne K
02-13-2009, 08:10 PM
Who is the new avi SP?

James81
02-13-2009, 08:10 PM
I was running up the stairs when I was 7 years old, and slipped on the steps, fell on my chin, and bit the end of my tongue almost completely off.

I had to get several stitches in my tongue and eat applesauce and mashed potatoes for weeks.

Cranky
02-13-2009, 08:11 PM
Oh, you just reminded me of the time I left an upper cupboard in the kitchen open, bent to get a plate from a low one, stood up and...

You can guess the rest.

I've done that, too. Oh, I can't believe I forgot this one: When I was six months preggo with Jason, I started walking down the stairs, holding my then three year old. Second step, my feet went right out from underneath me (socks are not my friend), and I fell all the way down on my ass, because I was afraid to let go of my son.

Broke my tailbone.

And this! About a month prior to this, I was trying to get a very heavy safe onto a dolly (we were setting up new offices), and it slipped and landed on my ankle. I sprained it.

scarletpeaches
02-13-2009, 08:13 PM
My avatar is Huge Ackman!

And once in the house I lived in as a kid, I was carrying a pot downstairs (a cooking pot, not a piss pot), fell downstairs, the pot went flying and I broke my fall by planting my face firmly on the lip of the pot, splitting my own. Lip, not pot, I mean.

jst5150
02-13-2009, 08:13 PM
Playing American flag football for the military team. As a wide receiver.

First play of the first game of the season, pushed off with my left leg and ... r-r-r-r-r-rip went my groin. Sidelined from playing and juuuuuuuhst about everything else for almost six months.

selkn.asrai
02-13-2009, 08:29 PM
I serially hit my head. Almost every day. Most recently, I dropped a sock from the dryer, knelt to retrieve it, and the crown of my head met the open door as I was standing up (that one actually hurt).

Before that, I hung up the phone, turned around and walked straight into the corner of an open cabinet.

Before that, I leaned to put a book away--coz a jackass customer wouldn't move for the second it would take--and the corner of a bookshelf hit and cut my nose.

When I was a kid, I refused to tie my shoe, tripped and skidded three feet, facedown, on the sidewalk. The day before the start of kindergarten. Miraculously, I've no scars.

Also as a kid, I was carrying a plastic kids' chair down the stairs, tumbled over it and hit the wall.

Slipped on morning dew and fell under a parked car. Left a nice gash on my leg--I could see the bone.

Used to figure skate when I was a teenager. One day, stepped on the ice with my guards still on, faceplanted on the ice, and my lip got stuck on my braces.

I'm amazed that I bear no evidence of all my idiotic accidents. I've never had stitches or broken any bones. *knocks on wooden surface many times* Anyway... I hope I've made someone feel better... :/

Kaiser-Kun
02-13-2009, 08:38 PM
A particularly moronic injury.. well, injuries, came in a two-part event:

I was getting off the bus, then false-stepped and I heard my foot crack. I yelled in pain, since I hit that spot in the foot.

Then, the next day... same bus, same stop, same false-step, same crack, same terrible pain... the other foot.

foonting
02-13-2009, 08:51 PM
While jumping up and down to keep warm waiting foe a cab on a January night.....I fell off 3 1/2 inches of pavement and broke my ankle in two places.
I had downed a fair amount of Whiskey prior the accident...so when asked what had happened by the doctor treating me in Accident and Emergency...I said I had been hit by a Canadian Club!

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-13-2009, 09:02 PM
Shot myself in the hand with a staple gun when I was ten or so... what? I was just lookin' at it! Really. I didn't mean to grip the handle with my other hand over the business end!

We used to have 'pot-luck lunches' at the big X when I worked there... the morning of one, I was coming in, carrying a huge pan of homemade dinner rolls in one arm and a bag of paper goods in the other across the parking lot. I tripped over absolutely nothing and went down face first to kiss a square foot of the finest cement 50 Penn Place could afford to install. Cracked a tooth, busted my lip, bruised my cheek... but I managed to save the rolls and the paper plates!

jgold
02-13-2009, 09:02 PM
I walked into a road sign.

*sighs*

I have no idea how it happened. My forehead was a nasty mess for weeks afterwards. I'm lucky there's no scar...

underthecity
02-13-2009, 09:03 PM
If a camera had been rolling, I would have entered the video on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Three weeks ago we got an ice storm. There are three concrete steps from the back porch to the driveway. I had cleared the ice off after the storm. We were having a warmup. The gutter above the steps was dripping water down onto the steps. I had no idea the steps had refrozen.

My arms laden down, I stepped outside to go to my car. I slipped, quite theatrically, I think, and landed on my upper butt area, coming down on my left elbow.

The pain was enormous.

After I recovered, I salted the steps. A minute later, my pregnant wife arrived home and I told her what happened. (It was a good thing I found the ice; she might not have seen it and slipped herself, possibly causing trouble.)

We pulled off my shirt and she cleaned the wound and said that there was a "hole" in my skin at the elbow, and that it possibly needed stitches.

Since I lost my job, I have no health insurance, so emergency room visits are on the Off list.

Well, my elbow and arm were still operational, so I had to cover the wound with a bandaid. I found a special Bandaid that seals over a wound and is supposed to let it heal. I change this bandaid once a week.

My arm aches at the elbow. When I feel the achey part with my finger, I can feel an indentation that is not present in the identical place on the other elbow. I believe I cracked it, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Meanwhile, my wound is healing . . . slowly.

Ouch. And it hurts like hell whenever I bump it, which is pretty much all the time.

Kaiser-Kun
02-13-2009, 09:22 PM
I walked into a road sign.

*sighs*

I have no idea how it happened. My forehead was a nasty mess for weeks afterwards. I'm lucky there's no scar...

What did it said?

Wayne K
02-13-2009, 09:24 PM
What did it said?

Stop or Yield would be a little ironical.

jgold
02-13-2009, 09:29 PM
:D

I wish it had been a stop sign. But I'm pretty sure it was just a speed limit sign.

Medievalist
02-13-2009, 09:33 PM
I tried to make creme brulee. Twice. Once using a gas oven with a pilot light in student lodgings in England; once using a torch.

It's important to be very careful when lighting pilot lights.

I didn't know they meant a "kitchen torch."

My eyebrows did grow back.

selkn.asrai
02-13-2009, 09:46 PM
Beware gas stoves! We had a monstrous, cat iron six-burner from the twenties that nearly took an inch off my hair.

And some chunks out of the doorframe when it was taken apart and removed.

Vincent
02-13-2009, 09:50 PM
Sliced my palm absent-mindedly drawing a razor across it to clean it.

Kitty Pryde
02-13-2009, 09:52 PM
Okay, I actually got NOMINATED by this organization I volunteer with for a dubious award called 'The Horse's Ass' (it's an equestrian trophy, with the rider and the front half of the horse cut off, leaving, yes, the horse's ass) for this one:

In October I did a 335 mile charity bike ride through the mountains of California's Eastern Sierra. I was TERRIFIED that I was going to hurt myself, probably by falling off the bike or being blown over a cliff in the wind or something. I did not. However, on the 2.5 hour drive to the starting point, we pulled over so I could have a pee on the side of the road. While walking around the car to have said pee, I fell over, and skinned both knees and both hands. That was the worst injury I incurred on the whole trip. When I got to the actual bike ride, everyone kept asking sympathetically if I had fallen off my bike and hurt myself (cuz of all the bandaids). I should have just said yes...

The 'Horse's Ass' has not been awarded yet this year, but I feel that I won't win this year because I know other people in the group did much, much stupider things.

Pagey's_Girl
02-13-2009, 09:54 PM
I did the old "bash your thumb with a hammer" thing putting together a cabinet. The best part was that I was thinking "you better get yourself some pliers to hold this nail with, girl, cause you're gonna hit your thumb" and sure enough - wham!

Then there was the time I was trying to light a stubborn incense cone that just didn't want to light. On about the fifth try, I wound up setting my long red acrylic thumbnail on fire. I yelped, dropped the cone, stuck my thumb in the bowl full of sand the cone was supposed to go in to put it out - and in the meantime melted a quarter-sized hole in the rug with the cone, which had finally decided to light after all...I tell you, had I lived in the Middle Ages, they wouldn't have had to burn me at the stake for being a witch; I probably would have managed to do it all by myself.

Then there was the time I dropped a glass, tried to pick up the pieces and ended up cutting myself nearly to the bone with one - so much for trying to be nice...

semilargeintestine
02-13-2009, 09:59 PM
Let's see, where to start?

I almost completely severed my pinky toe on a broken bottle at the beach.
I broke my foot twice in the same place doing the same thing (jiu jitsu)
I dislocated my thumb the one time I tried to play basketball
I ran into a parked car on a bicycle once and had some nice scrapes after that
I pulled a muscle in my foot running from my car

The list goes on...

Wayne K
02-13-2009, 10:05 PM
"I'll hold this nail, and when I nod my head, you hit it with that hammer..."

semilargeintestine
02-13-2009, 10:07 PM
Let me guess, he hit you in the head with the hammer.

nevada
02-13-2009, 10:08 PM
I nailed my thumb with a bradnailer when nailing together some door jamb. i forgot to move my thumb, ie off the piece i was holding and the nail fishhooked as it is does when nailing door jamb, and it went right through my thumb. it hurt so i pulled back, wich pulled the nail out of my thumb since it was still in the door jamb too. there is of course no water on a new residential site so i washed off the copious amount of blood iwth some diet coke which was boiling hot becuase it was summer and i'd left it in the car. Little thing right? unfortunately no. the thumb swelled up. so i had to go to the doctor. got a tetanus shot because we couldn't remember the last time i had one. because it went right through i had to go for xrays to make sure i didnt graze the bone which apparently is really bad, along the lines of thumb falling off. *sigh* all that stuff didnt happen the first time i nailed my thumb. Doing exactly the same thing.

and one time i got a boxer's fracture. also at work but not on the jobsite so no worker's comp. i was crawling out of my truck, backing up (there's a topper so i couldnt stand up) and i came out and tumbled backwards. put my hand down wrong and bam, im in a cast, right hand of course, and out of commission for two weeks.

shyne
02-13-2009, 10:08 PM
I jammed my wrist when I jumped off the ropes and performed a hang glide to my opponents throat.

Jersey Chick
02-13-2009, 10:17 PM
Oh, where to begin???

I broke my nose playing water tag when I was 12

I broke two toes making the bed - I was in socks and my foot slid on the hardwood floor into the frame.

I broke the same two toes trying to block a doorway to keep the cat out of the basement. I swung my leg too hard and smashed it into the wall

I gave myself a concussion at 16 when I fell off the hood of a car

I sprained a wrist putting my son in his car seat

I hyperextended a knee stretching my leg

and this one has got to be the best...

Last month, I hurt my back sitting.

Yep. Sitting.

On a step.

It still frickin' hurts.

I'm sure there are more, I just can't remember them. I'm an accident looking for a place to happen.

jennifer75
02-13-2009, 10:35 PM
The first time I ever had to have stitches, I think I was 4 years old. I was playing with my brother near the coffee table and went flying head first into a corner, splitting my eyebrow open.

I broke my fall once with my wrist, fracturing it.

A few years ago I looked down after feeling a bump on my wrist, and noticed a pea sized bump sticking out of my wrist, below my thumb. No idea how it happened, just knew it wasn't natural. It hurt to touch, but didn't keep me from doing anything. I came to accept this little bump. Now and then I'd wack it on my desk at work and it felt like bumping a funny bone. A few months later, wrestling with my boyfriend, he smacked my wrist accidentally and OH MAN DID IT HURT. The next morning I noticed the bump was gone. It had been pushed back into where ever it had come from. Creepy. I miss my little bump.

I was at my mothers house about a year ago, and I got up to get something. Just as I was walking by the sofa to sit down, I slammed my pinky toe into an uneven section of her two sofas. I'm pretty sure it broke. It was huge for about a year. Ugly huge. Now, it doesn't hurt anymore, but it does have a slightly bigger bump than the other one.

I have a habit of opening cupboards or things, then slamming my head into them.

One of my "big" toe's nail has been wierd ever since having an ingrown nail lanced. The nail has never been strong since then. I had let my nail grow a little too long one time, and one night my boyfriends heel wacked it, tearing it off completely. Ouch.

Then, one time, I was wearing little heels with jeans that had to be "cuffed" cause they were a little too long. I took a step, not realizing my heel passed the cuff, and caught in it - mid step. I had nowhere to go but down. Smack on the pavement, dragging my toes across the cement, cutting one of them open.

I remember once when I was young, I got down on the floor in my bedroom to look under the bed. Well, I didn't clear the bed frame when I peared underneath, I smacked my tooth into the metal frame. Mind numbingly painful.

See, you're not alone.

Wayne K
02-13-2009, 10:35 PM
Oh, where to begin???

I broke my nose playing water tag when I was 12

I broke two toes making the bed - I was in socks and my foot slid on the hardwood floor into the frame.

I broke the same two toes trying to block a doorway to keep the cat out of the basement. I swung my leg too hard and smashed it into the wall

I gave myself a concussion at 16 when I fell off the hood of a car

I sprained a wrist putting my son in his car seat

I hyperextended a knee stretching my leg

and this one has got to be the best...

Last month, I hurt my back sitting.

Yep. Sitting.

On a step.

It still frickin' hurts.

I'm sure there are more, I just can't remember them. I'm an accident looking for a place to happen.
I'm guessing your nickname isn't Lucky.

lovemyoldhorses
02-13-2009, 11:01 PM
At 52 I acquired my first horse. Because I was relatively inexperienced, I was advised to start with an older more mellow horse. So I rescued a 20ish-year-old Thoroughbred, but in my heart I REALLY wanted a "young" horse filled with vitality and longevity . . . So I bought a stunningly beautiful, 4-year-old Thoroughbred mare named Sunny's Last Kiss as a companion to JoJo and a fun ride for me. Mind you, I was new at this and had probably ridden 3 times in my entire life up to that time. Moreover, I knew even less about the true character of horses - that they are "prey" animals and virtually afraid of everything that hasn't been tested by them yet. Any way, I had rode Sunny twice in the arena without incident. This time we were going off-property. And because it's so hot here in the summer, I bought her a new air-ride blanket for under the saddle. Unfortunately this padding emitted a rustling sound when it was manipulated. Who knows what she must be thinking, her eyes wide and head swinging about; maybe it sounded like a snake to her, which I didn't even consider even as I climbed up into the saddle. Then as I swung my right leg over to secure my foot in the stirrup, with a flick of her hip, I was thrust off and airborn, landing tailbone first on a rock hard ground where I ended up with a broken pelvis and fractured ribs. That was my big-time duh moment. Since then, Sunny's been traded for an OLDER Quarter Horse Gelding, and I now heed well the voices of experience.

lovemyoldhorses
02-13-2009, 11:24 PM
My last one was a bit too complicated.

How about this. In our first house I placed my kitchen garbage can below an extended cupboard so that every time I bent down to put something in the garbage I could smack my head on the cupboard!! I took several times before I moved the garbage can . . . . which might explain why I'm such a late bloomer in this profession . . . hmmmm?

Fingers
02-13-2009, 11:25 PM
I have walked face first into the forks on a fork lift. Got a nice fat lip out of that. Twenty minutes later we had a visit from the new CFO of the corp that bought our company. I was introduced, muttered a howf do youf do and slunk off into the warehouse. I was fishing one time, and another guy had snagged a fish in the tail. My line got tangled in his line and as I went to remove the tangle I told the guy to wait two seconds and I would have us untangled so dont jerk your line. Of course just as i grabbed my fly he jerked his line and buried the hook in my index finger all the way around the bend in the hook. 90 bucks later the doctor removed it for me.

Been shot a couple times, been shot at a couple times too. Got in an argument with my older brother when we were kids and he threw a pen at me that stuck in my temple. But I guess the stupidest injury was when I was trying to drill a hole out in the little razor blade that goes on a shipping tape dispenser. I was trying to replace the blade with one that needed the hole drilled out just a teeny bit so the hole would line up with the hole in the dispenser. Instead of putting it into a vise to hold it securly, I just put in on top of the vise and held it with my finger. As I started to drill the hole, the drill bit went in nicely and then bound up and that little razor suddenly started spinning about 600 rpm. Before I could blink it almost cut the tip of my finger off. Five stitches and another lesson learned the hard way. I could go on too but I wont.


yer pal Brian

Atani
02-13-2009, 11:28 PM
Lessons learned the hard way:

1) Always wear shoes when riding a bike. I was about 9 or so and riding around my small town when somehow my feet slipped off the pedals (maybe I hit a rock? I don't remember) and both feet ended up being dragged quite a way before my forward progress stopped. By then there were no toenails left on either foot. I think it scared me more than hurt me, but they did grow back.

2) I may like horses, but they don't like me. Of the few times I've ridden, I've been thrown, dragged under trees and bucked off all but once. The latest was when a friend put me on an ex-racehorse (ok, bad idea), and he decided it would be fun to gallop down a dirt road directly toward a 90 degree turn where the road met a barbed wire fence. I was convinced the damn thing was gonna jump the fence, so in preparation for that, I didn't anticipate him to turn so sharply with such speed. Well, I woke up a little while later in the ditch by the fence hearing hoofbeats far down the road. Haven't ridden since. But horses sure are pretty.

3) Always keep potholders on the stove. My husband and I were cooking and had just taken a pan out of the oven (the all metal kind like a frying pan that you can put in the oven or use on top of the stove). Duh, somehow I forgot it had just been in the oven and grabbed the handle with my bare hand. Boy, it sure hurts to blister your entire palm...it took forever to heal!!

4) Tap out before you hear the crack. In Jiu Jitsu you just want to win, or at least not get submitted... but if someone has your arm, it's best to give in before the joint pops/cracks. I tried to hold out once a little too long and ended up having my elbow painfully twisted. It didn't break, but it was hyperextended & everyone heard the pop & was sure it was broken.

- In regard to other stupid injuries, I can't even begin to count. But I continually ram my little pinky toe into furniture, particularly the metal rail on my bed. I also somehow manage to hit my head getting in or out of the car quite often. I must have a problem judging distance or something...

lovemyoldhorses
02-13-2009, 11:34 PM
Hillarious! Especially the part about horses. Yeah, I know it hurts!! This kind of reminds me of worlds funniest videos on TV. You just know it's a sick kind of funny -- that a lot of that stuff had to hurt really bad!

But we laugh any way . . . .

semilargeintestine
02-14-2009, 12:04 AM
4) Tap out before you hear the crack. In Jiu Jitsu you just want to win, or at least not get submitted... but if someone has your arm, it's best to give in before the joint pops/cracks. I tried to hold out once a little too long and ended up having my elbow painfully twisted. It didn't break, but it was hyperextended & everyone heard the pop & was sure it was broken.


Tapping out is for sissies. I went to sleep a few times because I was too stupid to tap out.

Jersey Chick
02-14-2009, 12:12 AM
I'm guessing your nickname isn't Lucky.
Oh, this list only barely skims the surface. Don't ever get too close to me - you could end up dead. I am a mess. ;)

Rarri
02-14-2009, 12:14 AM
Being a rider i've had a few inidents, the 'stupidest' one i suppose though was out on a trek, fell off mid-canter (should've been able to corrected my mistake, remains a mystery to this day how it happened), hit my head. This was in Royal Deeside, three hours from A&E, my mother ended up driving me there and the place was a like a cartoon: me in my riding gear, a biker in all his leathers and a lad in his football strip. Anyway, i forgot to count and it was the week of my physics exam!

Wayne K
02-14-2009, 12:18 AM
Tapping out is for sissies. I went to sleep a few times because I was too stupid to tap out.

Not for nothing...

Wayne K
02-14-2009, 12:20 AM
I stabbed myself in the stomach, but it wasn't an accident. Nice little scar though.

Mr Flibble
02-14-2009, 12:21 AM
Hmm, well there was the 'trying to slide to full length of the house on the laminate flooring and coming a cropper in the dining room while drunk' incident.

Or the 'falling arse over tit on flagstones and taking chunk out of shin while drunk' incident

The 'not noticing the ditch while drunk' incident

The 'dodgems while drunk is probably not such a good idea' incident

Oh, and the concussion from a botched bungee pull. I was actually sober for that one - but I acted drunk after :D

jennifer75
02-14-2009, 12:33 AM
At 52 I acquired my first horse. Because I was relatively inexperienced, I was advised to start with an older more mellow horse. So I rescued a 20ish-year-old Thoroughbred, but in my heart I REALLY wanted a "young" horse filled with vitality and longevity . . . So I bought a stunningly beautiful, 4-year-old Thoroughbred mare named Sunny's Last Kiss as a companion to JoJo and a fun ride for me. Mind you, I was new at this and had probably ridden 3 times in my entire life up to that time. Moreover, I knew even less about the true character of horses - that they are "prey" animals and virtually afraid of everything that hasn't been tested by them yet. Any way, I had rode Sunny twice in the arena without incident. This time we were going off-property. And because it's so hot here in the summer, I bought her a new air-ride blanket for under the saddle. Unfortunately this padding emitted a rustling sound when it was manipulated. Who knows what she must be thinking, her eyes wide and head swinging about; maybe it sounded like a snake to her, which I didn't even consider even as I climbed up into the saddle. Then as I swung my right leg over to secure my foot in the stirrup, with a flick of her hip, I was thrust off and airborn, landing tailbone first on a rock hard ground where I ended up with a broken pelvis and fractured ribs. That was my big-time duh moment. Since then, Sunny's been traded for an OLDER Quarter Horse Gelding, and I now heed well the voices of experience.

Ouch! Great story telling btw...I saw it happen!

nevada
02-14-2009, 01:26 AM
A few years ago I looked down after feeling a bump on my wrist, and noticed a pea sized bump sticking out of my wrist, below my thumb. No idea how it happened, just knew it wasn't natural. It hurt to touch, but didn't keep me from doing anything. I came to accept this little bump. Now and then I'd wack it on my desk at work and it felt like bumping a funny bone. A few months later, wrestling with my boyfriend, he smacked my wrist accidentally and OH MAN DID IT HURT. The next morning I noticed the bump was gone. It had been pushed back into where ever it had come from. Creepy. I miss my little bump.

Jennifer, that little bump is called a ganglia. it's basically a cluster of nerves that's decided to get all hard and annoying. It's nothing. I got rid of mine by rubbing it every day. Occasionally it takes surgery. The old time cure for ganglias was to hit them very hard with a book. So when you smacked it, that's why it disappeared. you broke up the knot and the nerves went back where they belonged.

SouthernFriedJulie
02-14-2009, 02:02 AM
I worked on a farm and bent over to pick up a bucket, knowing full well there was a pipe in front of me. Staring right at it. Result- two black eyes and a broken nose.

I grab pans from the oven routinely without an oven mitt.

Last winter I pulled the washing machine over on my leg.

If it isn't in my path, I still trip over it. Doesn't matter what 'it' is.

Yesterday I turned off a pot of boiling water. Then not 30 seconds later dip my hand into it to see if it is hot enough. I had forgotten it was boiling.

Last night I got to the top of my basement stairs and tried to take one more step up. I fell inside the house. Result- Husband doubled over in laughter and one sore foot.

There are many, many more. I won't reduce you to piddle puddles right now, though.

scarletpeaches
02-14-2009, 02:05 AM
I like the old time cure, nevada.

Death by book.

semilargeintestine
02-14-2009, 02:06 AM
Not for nothing...

That's why I put that in there. I should have, but I was too stubborn.

Thorpey says: tap out before you pass out.

scarletpeaches
02-14-2009, 02:19 AM
Hmm, well there was the 'trying to slide to full length of the house on the laminate flooring and coming a cropper in the dining room while drunk' incident.

Or the 'falling arse over tit on flagstones and taking chunk out of shin while drunk' incident

The 'not noticing the ditch while drunk' incident

The 'dodgems while drunk is probably not such a good idea' incident

Oh, and the concussion from a botched bungee pull. I was actually sober for that one - but I acted drunk after :D

I'm noticing a pattern here...

thethinker42
02-14-2009, 03:13 AM
Oh dear God...I don't know if I should admit to all of this, but...

I passed out at a doctor's office and faceplanted on the floor, resulting in a rugburn and a black eye.

I passed out at a jewelry store and hit my head on both the wall and the floor. (See a pattern here?) Nasty concussion.

I got hurt on a ride at a park that shall not be named (but rhymes with Shmisneyland), resulting in a wicked whiplash and another nasty concussion.

I rode horses for the better part of my life, so I've had my fair share of injuries there, but the stupid ones include getting my hand stepped on, nearly breaking my nose/getting two black eyes from a horse's head flying up into my face, and having a filling (in a tooth) cracked by a horse's knee.

And that's all I shall admit to in this post.

Chumplet
02-14-2009, 03:15 AM
When I was seven, I ran down the stairs to watch Mr. Dressup, and my dad had left a golf tee on the stairs. Point side up. It drove straight into my foot. Mom scooped me up, pried it out and applied salt pork to the wound. (I still don't understand that one). I walked around for a couple of weeks on my heel.

Now every time someone says, "Golf Tee," my toes on my right foot curl up in indignation.

Kathleen42
02-14-2009, 03:19 AM
I was run over by a ski-doo.*

I'm not sure it was stupid but it was certainly Canadian.

* note to parents: do not let your eight year old son drive a snowmobile unattended. If you insist of letting him do so, make sure his six year old cousin is safely shut up in the house.

Kathleen42
02-14-2009, 03:20 AM
When I was seven, I ran down the stairs to watch Mr. Dressup, and my dad had left a golf tee on the stairs. Point side up. It drove straight into my foot. Mom scooped me up, pried it out and applied salt pork to the wound. (I still don't understand that one). I walked around for a couple of weeks on my heel.

Now every time someone says, "Golf Tee," my toes on my right foot curl up in indignation.

I'm sorry but that made me laugh. One Canadian injury after another.

jennifer75
02-14-2009, 03:22 AM
I passed out at a doctor's office and faceplanted on the floor, resulting in a rugburn and a black eye.

I passed out at a jewelry store and hit my head on both the wall and the floor. (See a pattern here?) Nasty concussion.



You're afraid of invoices?

Jersey Chick
02-14-2009, 03:23 AM
Last night I got to the top of my basement stairs and tried to take one more step up. I fell inside the house. Result- Husband doubled over in laughter and one sore foot.

I do this ALL THE TIME! I don't fall down stairs, I fall up them. Or I think there's one last step at the bottom (funny enough, there never is) and do a trip-step-twirl-proud-I-didn't-faceplant into a room. :D

thethinker42
02-14-2009, 03:27 AM
You're afraid of invoices?

I was working in the jewelry store, so not quite. LOL I just have a habit of passing out wherever there's something upon which to crack mah skull.

firedrake
02-14-2009, 03:32 AM
nearly breaking my nose/getting two black eyes from a horse's head flying up into my face,
.

Ouch! I once made the mistake of getting between a horse's head and it's feed bowl. i felt like I'd done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and i still have a numb spot on my cheek 13 years later.

thethinker42
02-14-2009, 03:48 AM
Ouch! I once made the mistake of getting between a horse's head and it's feed bowl. i felt like I'd done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and i still have a numb spot on my cheek 13 years later.

Oh God, I've done that. I've also been stuck in a trailer (3 horse slant with all the dividers against the wall, so it was wide open inside) with a panicking colt (a 16 HH panicking colt). He pinned me to the wall with his chest, then we both went for the door. I yelled for the guys outside to unlatch it. They said "He'll get out!" I said "Let me out or he's going to kill me!" The horse hit me right after they unlatched the door, literally shoved me OUT the door, but they got the door shut before he came out. It's just a damned good thing the door was unlatched when we hit it, because he hit me HARD. Scariest. Thing. EVER. I was bruised as all hell, but didn't break anything. Yikes.

We had a horse that had been abused and was very protective of her food. I wasn't paying attention one night and was sweeping the aisle while the horses were eating. All I saw was a red flash out of the corner of my eye (she was a bright red chestnut), then the next thing I know I'm halfway over her door. She actually bit me and pulled me off of my feet, then dropped me. Bruised the hell out of my arm.

Another horse tried to bite my gelding while I was walking by, but grabbed my shoulder instead. Took a nice chunk out of it.

And I'd still have horses again any day of the week. LOL

firedrake
02-14-2009, 03:52 AM
Oh God, I've done that. I've also been stuck in a trailer (3 horse slant with all the dividers against the wall, so it was wide open inside) with a panicking colt (a 16 HH panicking colt). He pinned me to the wall with his chest, then we both went for the door. I yelled for the guys outside to unlatch it. They said "He'll get out!" I said "Let me out or he's going to kill me!" The horse hit me right after they unlatched the door, literally shoved me OUT the door, but they got the door shut before he came out. It's just a damned good thing the door was unlatched when we hit it, because he hit me HARD. Scariest. Thing. EVER. I was bruised as all hell, but didn't break anything. Yikes.

We had a horse that had been abused and was very protective of her food. I wasn't paying attention one night and was sweeping the aisle while the horses were eating. All I saw was a red flash out of the corner of my eye (she was a bright red chestnut), then the next thing I know I'm halfway over her door. She actually bit me and pulled me off of my feet, then dropped me. Bruised the hell out of my arm.

Another horse tried to bite my gelding while I was walking by, but grabbed my shoulder instead. Took a nice chunk out of it.

And I'd still have horses again any day of the week. LOL

LOL so would I!
The same mare that whacked my face, attempted to take a chunk out of my leg when I was trying to straighten her rug out in the paddock. Again, thirteen years on, I still have a lump on my thigh.

Oddly enough, when hubby and I lived in racing yards and I helped out with, supposedly high strung, racehorses, I never so much as had my toe trodden on...go figure.

rhymegirl
02-14-2009, 03:53 AM
I fell out of bed when I was about 4 or 5 and landed hard on the floor on my chin. (I got my leg caught in the sheets) Had to have stitches and still have a small scar under the chin.

I've also stubbed my right toe about a million times, and I've hit my head a number of times in various locations which is why I'm crazy at this point.

Wayne K
02-14-2009, 03:55 AM
This is quickly turning me against horses. At least now I have more to ask them than "Why the long face?"

StoryG27
02-14-2009, 04:00 AM
Some here know this, but automatic doors and I don't get along.

When I was about seven I ran, and I mean RAN, into the freshly cleaned glass "automatic" doors at a gas station and knocked myself out.

As an adult walking out of Wal-Mart, checking my receipt, I walked into the "automatic" door and saw stars, seriously, little gold specks floated in my visions and the impact made me fall, then the doors opened. Hubby was a few steps behind me, and as sweet as he is, I'm sure he would have rushed to my aid if he wasn't incapacitated by hysterical laughter.

My dumbest injury though sticks with me, really, I have six screws and two plates in my left ankle as a constant reminder not to wear sneakers when riding a horse with a saddle. Boots were invented for a reason. ETA: And when someone says a horse in "cinchy," believe them.

truelyana
02-14-2009, 04:06 AM
Ouch. I've never had an accident, not one where it has scarred me, needed stiches, or a cast. I've pretty much sustained all my purposeful encounters. I did staple my thumb once for the sheer joy of it, and stepped on a plank of wood with nails, that went inside the skin of my bare feet when I was walking around dump sites as a kid. These healed pretty quickly. I think the next day it was forgotten about, and healed. I loved motorcrossing as a kid over big hills and than tumbling over and knocking myself out, for the sheer joy of receiving scabs. Exciting times. :D

Interestingly, it is impossible for any car to hit me or for me to have any sort of accident. :D This has already been tested and verified a lot more times than I can count.

thethinker42
02-14-2009, 04:36 AM
This is quickly turning me against horses.

To each his own. :D I still love them and would do anything to have them again. My back would probably prefer never to get on another horse as long as I live, but oh well. LOL

That actually reminds me of another horse-related injury...it was one of those quintessential "why the HELL would anyone own a horse?" moments...

*** NOT FOR THE FAINT OF STOMACH ***

My gelding had an abscess in his hoof. The thing is, for you non-horse folks, it's not like an abscess in skin that you just lance and drain. No, you have to practically carve the hoof apart until you GET to the abscess. Horses don't particularly enjoy this process.

Our vet was tied up with something, so I got to do the honors. I had his (the horse's, not the vet's) leg across mine (I was kneeling), and one arm steadying it while I went to town with a hoof knife. Yes, that's about as pleasant as it sounds. Now, of course, his foot HURTS, and every time I dug at it, it was putting pressure on the abscess. It was a deep abscess, so I just merrily kept digging away.

Then, I hit gold. (That metaphor is rather apropos, now that I think of it...)

In a matter of nanoseconds, I had the contents of the abscess all over me (you'd be amazed how much of that crap can fit inside a little bitty horse hoof), plus blood and pieces of hoof...AND he jerked his leg away from me, pulling several muscles in my back as well as something in my arm. Knocked me off balance, bruised the hell out of my knee on the cement, skinned my palm when I caught myself.

The best part? I had a three-day horse show two days later with my other horse. My back has never quite forgiven me for that. LOL

Gotta love horses. :D

Serenity
02-14-2009, 04:51 AM
I broke my leg in four places chasing a dog that wasn't even mine.

thethinker42
02-14-2009, 04:56 AM
I broke my leg in four places chasing a dog that wasn't even mine.

My husband was roller-skating and broke his leg in 2 places trying to avoid running over a toddler. The toddler and his mother made a VERY quick exit as soon as someone said "call the paramedics".

WittyWordsmith
02-14-2009, 05:17 AM
I'm quite the klutz, sometimes, and I startle easily... not a good combination.

When I was about 8, I had a set of drawers that stacked directly on top each other, with no real spacing between the individual drawer (it was an older fashion, I think.) I had just come out of a bath and was picking out my PJs when my mom walked into the room.

I suppose I was in my own little trance, because I really just didn't hear her knock or come in. She said, "Hey!" and it startled the crap out of me. I jumped about 2 feet in the air, twirled around and hit my foot on the corner of the dresser, then bent down to grab it in pain when I shut my naked butt INSIDE the drawers!

I was SCREAMING in agony from my foot and my butt and I had to open the drawer to PULL my cheeks out before I landed in a heap of screaming, naked pain on the floor.

My mom was laughing so hysterically hard at the entire show that she forgot what she came in for and just left, shutting my door behind her, to go laugh and tell the rest of my family. I had a purple crease across my arse from being pinched in the drawers and my foot hurt for several days.

Pagey's_Girl
02-14-2009, 05:23 AM
I broke my leg in four places chasing a dog that wasn't even mine.

Didn't break anything except my dignity, but I once did a faceplant on a friend's kitchen floor when I walked in carrying a bag and promptly tripped over her dog, who was snoozing in the doorway. Now, mind you, this behemoth dog was part St. Bernard and part something else very freaking huge - and he didn't even have the courtesy to wake up after I gave myself a nosebleed falling over him. Didn't even stop snoring.

Never trust a dog to be man's best friend. Nor woman's, for that matter....

Wayne K
02-14-2009, 05:24 AM
I broke my leg in four places chasing a dog that wasn't even mine.

Aren't dogs supposed to chase us? If only you bit that dog, you would have been a news story.

Chumplet
02-14-2009, 07:03 AM
I'm sorry but that made me laugh. One Canadian injury after another.

Darn Mister Dressup. I had a hard time forgiving him; never mind my dad for leaving the damn tee on the stairs.

tjwriter
02-14-2009, 07:16 AM
I broke my foot getting up to answer the phone.

I've had numerous stitches when I was a kid. Broken bones twice. I do any number of idiotic things at any time. Too many for me to remember unfortunately.

Jersey Chick
02-14-2009, 07:21 AM
My husband broke his leg in four places in college - he played baseball as a catcher and got into a collision at home plate. I'm not sure if the runner was out or not, but he did a number on Jersey Guy - he still walks with a limp.

If it were me, I'd have let the runner score.

HorsebackWriter
02-14-2009, 07:36 AM
This thread is too funny.

Two are from college:

You know that thing where you lay flat and someone tries to pull you up by your arms stiff as a board? Well boyfriend and I tried it, and instead of coming up, my heels slid across the rug and I slammed my foot into the wall, breaking my pinky toe.

I cut the knuckle of my index finger and needed seven stitches when the same boyfriend stole a glass mug from McSorley's Pub and hid it in my duffel bag. I went back to school after the weekend, reached into the bag to unpack it, and got cut -- I didn't even feel it, just saw the blood.

The mug broke at some point in transit.

Atlantis
02-14-2009, 12:16 PM
I went to London for a holiday last year. I was walking down a set of stairs in one of the underground tube stations when I suddenly tripped and tumbled down the remaining steps head over ass onto a cement floor. I sprained my ankle. The day before I tripped over the side of the road opposite the Tower of London and fell into a graceful heap on the ground. A cop laughed at me behind my back. The little buggar.

When I was a little kid I used to play on a set of climbing frames at school. I would climb onto the bars and do backflips. Once I decided to see how long I could hang from one of the bars. I managed to dangle from one of them for about five minutes before all the blood rushed to my head. I screamed, lost conscious and fell off the top of the bar onto a pile of wood chips. I'm surprised I didn't give myself a concussion. Its weird being knocked out. The first thing to return is sound then feeling then eyesight. I still remember what it felt like waking up on the ground. I'd forgotten what had happened for the first few seconds and thought I was at home in bed. The only injury I had was a wood chip that got lodged beneath one of my fingernails.

I have a mild form of brain damage caused dyspraxia that affects my memory and muscle coordination. Its got the very flattering name of "Clumsy Child Disorder" I'm always tripping over my feet, falling over the side of roads, down stairs, etc. It is very irritating. If there is a slightest bump on a path my feet will find it and send me sprawling.

StoryG27
02-14-2009, 03:09 PM
Atlantis reminded me of another one of my stupid injuries from childhood.

You remember those bars at school, and all the kids would hook one leg over it, then you could hook your arms under it (holding just below your knee) and use your free leg to get your body spinning around the bar? Well, I was quite good at that but I saw other girls doing that without holding onto their leg. So I unhooked my arms and decided to try it. Needless to say, once I was upside down there was nothing holding me onto the bar and I landed directly on my head. I don't remember exactly what happened afterward, but my mom was just a short distance away at the high school helping check kids for lice, so I don't know if someone took me to her or if she came and got me, but I do remember sitting in the high school gym, not being able to answer basic questions, like what my name was, and having my mom pick tiny pebbles out of my scalp.

When my oldest brother was three, he got bucked off a horse and was catapulted head first onto a metal fence post, a t-post. He still has the scar directly on top of his head.


When I was about seven, my other older brother and I were playing tag. We had a large barn with six horse stalls, and each stall had it's own run outside. We'll I was chasing him and he ran through one of the horse runs and into the stall. This of course spooked the horse in the stall and right as I made it to the entry way between the stall and the run the horse bolted out, running me over. I remember hitting the ground and rolling to get out of the way. I thought I was fine when I got up but my brother was panicking, saying the horse stepped on me. I lifted my shirt to look at my belly, and there was a perfect purple bruise in the shape of a horse shoe that took up my whole tummy. Miraculously, I really was fine, and quite proud of my bruise. Showed it off for weeks.

thethinker42
02-14-2009, 03:40 PM
I thought I was fine when I got up but my brother was panicking, saying the horse stepped on me. I lifted my shirt to look at my belly, and there was a perfect purple bruise in the shape of a horse shoe that took up my whole tummy. Miraculously, I really was fine, and quite proud of my bruise. Showed it off for weeks.

When my colt dumped me, he stepped on my thigh. I don't bruise easily AT ALL, but he left a nice hoof-shaped mark on my leg. He didn't have shoes on, though, so it didn't have that badass horseshoe look to it.

Another horse kicked me right above my left knee once. I was actually beside him, corralling him out of his stall, and he pulled his hind leg up and nailed me. The next night, I thought I'd be all smart and stand on the other side while I kicked him out of his stall. Yeah. Smart. I had matching hoofprints above my knees for a week.

I was actually kind of bummed the time one horse stepped on my hand (at a full gallop, mind you)...didn't leave a bruise at all. Would've looked really cool with a hoofprint on my hand, but nooooo. All I got was a sore hand and fingertips split open like ballpark hotdogs. (Seriously)

Ahhhhh, memories...

scarletpeaches
02-14-2009, 04:31 PM
In starting this thread I have created a monster.

Romantic Heretic
02-14-2009, 05:37 PM
I walked into a telephone pole once.

She was worth it. :D

stormie
02-14-2009, 07:48 PM
I sat up in bed too quickly and got whiplash. :Shrug:

Carole
02-14-2009, 08:14 PM
A co-worker dropped a kitchen stove on my head while taking it off the back of his truck. Seriously.

stormie
02-14-2009, 08:49 PM
Carole, please tell me you're not one of your little ghosties in your house now. How did you survive that one?!

WittyWordsmith
02-14-2009, 08:51 PM
When I was 3 I touched the iron. Full-on. I remember my mom ironing clothes then going to check on my little sister and telling me NOT to touch it, it was hot. Maybe I didn't get what "hot" was and wanted to find out for myself. Next thing you know, I'm screaming and she's running down the stairs for me.

I'll admit I'm not always the brightest crayon in the box.

Carole
02-15-2009, 02:02 AM
Carole, please tell me you're not one of your little ghosties in your house now. How did you survive that one?!

Nope--no ghostie. I'm alive and well. I have no idea how I survived it. One minute I saw it all going wrong, the next minute I yelled for him to stop and the next thing I knew I was sitting on a little stone wall at the edge of the yard with him asking me my name, birthdate, what year, who is president, etc. I had a helluva dent in my forehead and, genius that I am, I refused to go to the hospital. I remember sitting in the yard of the house we were working on and watching people drift by me all day. I think it's safe to say that I have a hard head! :D I didn't even notice until much later that the tailgate of his truck slammed down on my arm and cut it from my wrist to my elbow. I was a mess. LOL!

It would all make a great story if I were actually a ghostie except that the dead person who doesn't know they are dead has kinda been done . . . to death. :D

I've had loads of other interesting injuries. I flew down the stairs (as in airborne) and hit the opposing wall head first when I was around two, or so mom tells me. That one also knocked me out cold. I slipped while mopping the kitchen a few years ago and dislocated my hip. I ripped my entire fingernail off once while trying to close a lower cabinet to keep the cats out. I crashed on my bike when I was a teenager and had to pick the gravel out of my chest with tweezers. I tripped and fell with a glass pop bottle in my hand and cut it all to pieces. I still have a groovy scar from that one shaped like a number 7 with old dirt in it that they couldn't scrub out at the hospital. I wrecked on my bike again and fell on a chain link fence that had been installed upside down so the sharp pointy things were pointed up. I got to see what my muscle looked like outside of my arm on that one. I've had so many weird injuries that I can't even remember them all.

Sweetleaf
02-15-2009, 02:21 AM
I've only broken one bone in my life.

Sad thing is it was my hand, falling over in the pub.

And yes, of course I was drunk. My friends thought it was hysterical.

Sweetleaf
02-15-2009, 02:24 AM
I've also only had one black eye in my life.

It was from falling off my bed onto the corner of an open drawer.

And yes, of course I was drunk. My husband thought it was hysterical.

Sweetleaf
02-15-2009, 02:26 AM
I walked into a telephone pole once.

She was worth it. :D


One of friends walked into a telephone pole once and got concussion, completely knocked himself out cold. He was looking at a rug in a shop window. No one believes him.

He likes rugs.

Perks
02-15-2009, 02:34 AM
I've now bound my limbs in bubblewrap and have vowed never to venture above the ground level of any establishment including, and most particularly, my own home. I have taken out restraining orders against the whole of humanity and I will shoot any horse that comes nearer to me than the horizon.

thethinker42
02-15-2009, 02:54 AM
My friends nagged and nagged at me for years to try skiing. I HAD to try it. There were simply too many ski resorts within a not-too-long drive (I lived in Seattle) to NOT learn how to ski.

I finally went.

My FIRST TIME...less than 100 feet away from the ski lift on the damned bunny slope...I fell.

And dislocated my hip.

And spent the rest of the day in the lodge glaring at all of my "try it, you'll love it" friends.

These same friends were remarkably unsupportive 10 years later when I announced that I was going skydiving.

thethinker42
02-15-2009, 02:55 AM
I've now bound my limbs in bubblewrap and have vowed never to venture above the ground level of any establishment including, and most particularly, my own home. I have taken out restraining orders against the whole of humanity and I will shoot any horse that comes nearer to me than the horizon.

So I probably shouldn't tell you about the time I cut myself on a piece of bubblewrap...

Perks
02-15-2009, 02:57 AM
I wouldn't hear you anyway. I've also shut my eyes and stuffed my fingers in my ears and am making a protective racket out of shouted LA-LA-LAs.

thethinker42
02-15-2009, 03:11 AM
I wouldn't hear you anyway. I've also shut my eyes and stuffed my fingers in my ears and am making a protective racket out of shouted LA-LA-LAs.

But then how will you see the horses coming at you from the horizon?? You're not really thinking this through, are you?

Perks
02-15-2009, 03:23 AM
Aaaagggghhh! You're right. Does cyanide hurt?

thethinker42
02-15-2009, 03:24 AM
Aaaagggghhh! You're right. Does cyanide hurt?

Couldn't tell you. Probably.

So, want to go skydiving with me? :D

Perks
02-15-2009, 03:28 AM
I can say no in several languages, but it won't keep me free from injury, will it?

Kalyke
02-15-2009, 03:31 AM
An Ice pick through the fold of skin between thumb and forefinger. A big piece of plexiglass in the ankle. A glass bottle blew up in my hand-- 7 stiches on thumb. And then there is the bicycle that turned the wrong way on a curb -- broken leg @ 22 thousand dollars.

Chumplet
02-15-2009, 04:16 AM
Oh! Oh! I have another. I worked in the Advertising Department of Henry's, a large photo retailer in Toronto. Well, I WAS the advertising department. Anyway, I was working at the drafting table slicing and waxing artwork to assemble an ad. We used those silver Exacto knives with pointy ends so we could cut around pictures and blocks of typeset copy.

I had rested the knife against the edge of the slanted drafting table, and forgot it was there for a moment. When I placed my hands on the table to push out of my stool, the knife drove into the side of my left hand, beside my pinky.

I bled like a stuck pig. Running to the bathroom, I attempted to rinse the wound under the tap, but someone had flushed a toilet on the ground floor. Being on the third floor in an old building, I had zero water pressure.

Everyone gathered in the bathroom doorway to see me sitting on the floor with my hand submerged in the toilet. Somebody had told me cold water stopped bleeding.

Well, after a trip to St. Mike's and some stitches, I also got myself a tetanus shot just in case. I still have a scar and it's hyper sensitive, even twenty years later.

stormie
02-15-2009, 04:25 AM
I'm sorry, Chumplet, but I spewed my drink all over the keyboard, picturing you sitting on the floor with your hand submerged in a toliet bowl.

Gotta go wipe the keys off. LOL!

Carole
02-15-2009, 08:13 AM
Chumplet reminded me. I reached into a box a couple of weekends ago to get something, I forgot now what it even was. I forgot because when I reached in, I grabbed a box cutter instead. (How'd THAT get in there?) It was an interesting thing, watching Mr. Vagabond pour super glue all over my finger and then wrap it in electrical tape. Where's a Band Aid when you need one? Also, I walked out into the backyard some time last year in flip flops and stepped on a nail in such a fabulous way that it was poking through the skin on the top of my foot. The best part was having to pull the nail, and the board it was attached to, off. My kitchen looked like a murder scene after I hopped through to the bathroom. Carole keeps those tetanus shots up to date, yessir!

Carole
02-15-2009, 08:18 AM
My friends nagged and nagged at me for years to try skiing. I HAD to try it. There were simply too many ski resorts within a not-too-long drive (I lived in Seattle) to NOT learn how to ski.

I finally went.

My FIRST TIME...less than 100 feet away from the ski lift on the damned bunny slope...I fell.

And dislocated my hip.

And spent the rest of the day in the lodge glaring at all of my "try it, you'll love it" friends.

These same friends were remarkably unsupportive 10 years later when I announced that I was going skydiving.
Ugh. Dislocated hips are the worst pain ever. When I did mine, I couldn't walk at all. I actually drug myself across the floor and called hubby to ask if any of the freaking pill heads he works with had any pain pills. Of course, the ONE time I wanted such a thing, no one had any.

My sister wrecked her knee on the bunny slope her first and last time skiing. I'm thinking I'll not try that any time soon.

thethinker42
02-15-2009, 08:30 AM
Ugh. Dislocated hips are the worst pain ever. When I did mine, I couldn't walk at all. I actually drug myself across the floor and called hubby to ask if any of the freaking pill heads he works with had any pain pills. Of course, the ONE time I wanted such a thing, no one had any.

Oh man, aren't they?? I've done it twice, actually. Okay, the second time wasn't a complete dislocation - just kind of knocked it out of whack - but it definitely hurt. I was at a horse show and ran into someone who had a horse that I'd ridden a few years before. The horse was behaving really strangely and dumped the kid like three times, so I asked if I could help. She'd done weird stuff before, and sometimes it just took a gentle, patient rider to calm her down.

Well, I went to get on, put my foot in the stirrup, and she went STRAIGHT UP, taking my foot with her. Actually flipped me onto my back (thank God it was soft ground). Wasn't a total dislocation, but it definitely knocked my hip out of joint and OHHHHHH GOD it hurt. (didn't keep me from getting on my own horse an hour later, but I'm kind of a glutton for punishment)

(For the record, the horse's major malfunction was a bruise on her back that was aggravated whenever someone put pressure on the saddle. She was fine at the next show.)

Anyway, dislocations are evil, regardless of what's being dislocated. My orthodontist actually dislocated my jaw when I was 15...but it wasn't diagnosed until I was 18.

Ouch.

mario_c
02-15-2009, 09:09 AM
My first day on the job (many years, and jobs, ago) I was working in a hotel and had to go up and down all the different crawlspaces and secret tunnels in the building as my boss showed me around. He was pushing all the different safety procedures and precautions as he...walked into a exposed pipe and ripped his scalp open. I had to take my boss to the hospital on my first day on the job.
And I really learned a lesson about safety on the job...until a couple years later, when I was in a storage closet at another facility (we ran corporate audio/visual events) and as I was trying to clean a small metal table fell off a top shelf and crashed into my head. Yep, same job. Explains a lot, doesn't it?

Sorry about those injured first time trying a sport. Sad how something like that can make or break a budding cowboy / ski bum.

CACTUSWENDY
02-15-2009, 09:30 AM
A few years ago I had a car that developed a leak in the radiator. Before getting it fixed I would have to fill it up before going for any short trip.

I came home from a short trip and what I assumed was enough time for it to cool off went back out to fill with some water. After i took the cap off and looked into the hole nothing happened for a few seconds. Next thing I know I hear a gruggleing sound and surging up from the depths of the car came the rush of piping hot water spraying into my face.

I ran inside, headed to the bathroom and jumped into the tub turning on the cold water. I began splashing cold water into my face. I yelled for my daughter to first call her father and then the para meds. Mean while I kept splashing cold water on my face.

Long story short....I had 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my face. I went to emergency room and was finally given a shot to kill the pain. After the shot wore off I was in more pain than I had ever been in in my life. Every nerve ending was alive and hurt.

A day later, as my face was now twice its normal size...eyes tiny slits, I stood at my window looking out at my rear yard that had a vast amount of cactus in it. I was talking to God about the scaring that might take place from this burn. He spoke to me and said that I had a whole yard full of what was needed to keep that from happening.

I applied 1/4 layers of aloe fresh from the plants and one week later....it only appeared that I had been really deeply tanned. I peeled and had no scares from my mishap.

Needless to say...I got the car fixed.

Chumplet
02-15-2009, 09:32 AM
My dad dislocated his shoulder reaching for something outside the shower. He used the towel rack to steady himself, it broke and he tried to grab the sink to break his fall. After three hours in Emergency they popped it back in, then that night he turned over in bed and popped it out again. Back to Emergency.

thethinker42
02-15-2009, 09:41 AM
Sorry about those injured first time trying a sport. Sad how something like that can make or break a budding cowboy / ski bum.

Well, in my case, I have to admit that I was never overly enthused about skiing anyway. Something about being cold, wet, and hurtling down a mountain just never really turned me on.

Now, push me out of an airplane at 13,500 feet, and I'm game...

David Conner
02-15-2009, 10:58 AM
When I was sixteen, I was riding my bicycle home after a dip in the irrigation canal. As I rode along, I shook my head to help the wind dry my hair. My hair was long enough to whip into my eyes, so I closed them briefly and shook hard just for a moment...just long enough to be unaware that I was making a 90 degree turn. I opened my eyes just in time to see the barbed wire fence. I still have the scars on my arms and stomach.

Don Allen
02-15-2009, 07:42 PM
Well, in my case, I have to admit that I was never overly enthused about skiing anyway. Something about being cold, wet, and hurtling down a mountain just never really turned me on.

Now, push me out of an airplane at 13,500 feet, and I'm game...

Don't feel bad, just broke my ass last week trying snowboarding for th efirst time.

Dumbest thing I ever did was peel a bunch of cabera hot peppers then rubbed my eyes, HOLY SHIT!!!!!! I'd have rather taken Dustin hoffmans place in the dentist chair of Marathon man...

mario_c
02-16-2009, 07:59 AM
Well, in my case, I have to admit that I was never overly enthused about skiing anyway. Something about being cold, wet, and hurtling down a mountain just never really turned me on.

Now, push me out of an airplane at 13,500 feet, and I'm game...Well, you only get wet if you fall.

But yeah, I'm the exact opposite. Heights terrify me, and I don't trust those parachutes, honestly. How do you know whoever makes them didn't rush it out at the end of the shift Friday?
It's like surfing, to which people reply "Oh, surfing is just like skiing, except warm." Uh no, if I fall skiing, there are no Abominable Snow creatures in the snow waiting to eat me.

OK no more ski talk. :D

Carole
02-16-2009, 08:30 AM
My dad dislocated his shoulder reaching for something outside the shower. He used the towel rack to steady himself, it broke and he tried to grab the sink to break his fall. After three hours in Emergency they popped it back in, then that night he turned over in bed and popped it out again. Back to Emergency.

Oh, GAWD I can seriously feel his pain!! I was laying in bed after I dislocated my hip (I didn't know it was out at the time. I just thought I did something else equally painful like pulled a ligament or something) and somehow I managed to roll too close to the edge. Hubby was sleeping on the couch because he was afraid of bumping into me and making me scream. So there I was, hanging off the edge of the bed and weeping like a baby because I couldn't move myself back onto the bed. My sweet little dog heard me and came in. Then she went to the couch and woke up hubby and brought him back to me. (She's really a great dog) He couldn't touch me because I was in so much pain and so he went to the opposite side of the bed and pulled the sheets to drag me back onto the bed. The next morning, my arguing about seeing a doctor was over. It must have been hilarious to see me. I could walk a little by that time, but only if I was bent completely over at the waist with my hands almost on the floor. Hubby had his arms wrapped around me so I wouldn't keel over. At the doctor's office, he had ME pop my OWN hip back into place by pulling my right knee up to my left shoulder. That was brutal. Not only that, but it didn't go all the way back in at the time. That didn't happen until the middle of the night in my sleep. I heard a *POP* and I screamed bloody murder.



Oh man, aren't they?? I've done it twice, actually. Okay, the second time wasn't a complete dislocation - just kind of knocked it out of whack - but it definitely hurt. I was at a horse show and ran into someone who had a horse that I'd ridden a few years before. The horse was behaving really strangely and dumped the kid like three times, so I asked if I could help. She'd done weird stuff before, and sometimes it just took a gentle, patient rider to calm her down.

Well, I went to get on, put my foot in the stirrup, and she went STRAIGHT UP, taking my foot with her. Actually flipped me onto my back (thank God it was soft ground). Wasn't a total dislocation, but it definitely knocked my hip out of joint and OHHHHHH GOD it hurt. (didn't keep me from getting on my own horse an hour later, but I'm kind of a glutton for punishment)

(For the record, the horse's major malfunction was a bruise on her back that was aggravated whenever someone put pressure on the saddle. She was fine at the next show.)

Anyway, dislocations are evil, regardless of what's being dislocated. My orthodontist actually dislocated my jaw when I was 15...but it wasn't diagnosed until I was 18.

Ouch.

The doctor who saw me told me that once a person has dislocated their hip, it's almost sort of primed for the same thing to happen again. He was actually doing research for a study on that very thing because his wife was prone to dislocated hips and he wanted to figure out why. I'd like to catch back up with him again and see what all he has learned about it since then. He was an E.R. doctor, so I don't even remember his name. Supposedly it's that pinch on the sciatic nerve that causes the excruciating pain when your hip goes out of joint, and pulling that leg toward the opposite shoulder releases the pinch.

thethinker42
02-16-2009, 09:04 AM
The doctor who saw me told me that once a person has dislocated their hip, it's almost sort of primed for the same thing to happen again.

It could also have to do with someone who dislocates their hip being dumb enough to do hip-dislocating things again and again and again...LOL

Carole
02-17-2009, 05:56 PM
LOL!! That could be true. But I think he was right, at least for some people. I can feel it trying to give out sometimes, and it's always when I'm doing the stupidest things. Oh, wait--that was your point! :D

DMarie84
02-20-2009, 11:36 PM
I am one of the clumsiest people out there and I've lost count the number of times I've hurt myself by accident.

In college, shortly before graduation, I went on a hike with my hubby. Of course, I didn't think to actually wear hiking shoes but I wore only sandals. The strap cut into the top of my foot and I had a horrible cut that refused to heal all summer. I still have a scar from that and it happened nearly two years ago.

I've burned my hand on hot pans from the oven, not quite thinking about it.

I've fallen down icy stairs (it probably happens at least twice every year during the winter). I've closed my finger in my desk drawer at work (don't ask me how I managed to do that!). I've run into shelves in grocery stores and cut or bruise myself from it. :e2hammer:

I probably do something stupid and clumsy at least two or three times a week.

Death Wizard
02-21-2009, 12:37 AM
I strained ligaments in my elbow (took more than a year to heal) while arm-wrestling. Needless to say, I swore to never attempt to prove my manhood in that fashion again.

inkkognito
02-21-2009, 04:31 AM
Most of my dumb injuries were as a kid. Started at the age of two, when my mother was giving me a bath in the kitchen sink and left me unattended (she was not exactly the nurturing or protective type). There was a plugged-in toaster next to the sink, and I stuck my hand in it while sitting in a full sink of water. Thank goodness my brother heard the ensuing commotion from his room, ran out, and unpluggd the toaster (he tried to touch me first and got a shock).

Next, I once decided to see what it would be like to staple my finger. Let's just say it's the sort of thing you only try once.

When I was a little older, I one day jumped down off the foot of my bed. Problem is, a spare lightbulb from my aquarium had rolled over there and I landed barefoot right on it. The ensuring mess of red blood and blue glass on the white linoleum was quite patriotic, and I had to take care of it before my mother found out or I wouldn't gotten a beating for stupidity.

After those three, I pretty much worked the Darwinism out of my system.

DonnaDuck
02-21-2009, 06:03 AM
Let's see . . .

I've sneezed with my head bent a little too low towards a table. I'll let you figure out what happened there.

On more than one occasion I thought the door I was walking through was open more than it was. Man can my head bounce.

In high school I raced my friend through a set of double doors. Too bad the one on my side was locked.

Grabbing the exposed wire around the head of a plug while it was plugged in with hands caked in wet clay was pretty stupid too, albeit it quite tingly.

And for the love of god I still can't shave without nicking myself. I even use those Shiek Intuitions and you'd think I'd just snapped the razor out and started slashing.

I don't know what's wrong with me.