How delicately do you handle a memoir?

James81 · Feb 13, 2009

Ok, wasn't sure where to put this, but I figure here would be the best place to get an in depth discussion on the subject....

My current WIP is a memoir of sorts. The only hitch is that I don't want to be bound by "the truth and nothing but the truth" so I have changed the names (I don't want to use the real names in this case for reasons I won't go into) of the people involved.

But the deeper, more confusing part to me, is that there are things that have happened on the internet that I want to change to be dramatized as if they happened in real life (1. Because I think it would make the story more interesting and 2. Because trying to recount internet tales in a story sounds like something that I don't want to try to touch with a ten foot pole). And I also want to take certain liberties with the characters and embellish the story to make it more interesting and readable.

But the story is very much (for the most part) based on real events in my life, and so far (I'm only 3000 words into it) the story is completely and totally true as I remember it. But I don't want to bind myself to that being the case throughout the book and I know when I get to certain parts I am going to want to change some details (plus, I'm not using any of the real names).

My question is, should I market this story as a memoir? I would venture to guess that by the time I am done, the story will be about 75% true, and 25% embellished or changed entirely.

Basically, I'm wanting to know what the standard rules are for memoirs. I remember all the crap James Frey went through with "A Million Little Pieces" and I don't want that to happen to me at all (and I don't care if people know that certain parts aren't true).

Can you embellish a memoir if you openly admit that you are doing so?

Or should I just market this as literary fiction, based on a true story?

I also realize I'm getting the cart before the horse by asking this so soon into the book, but I would like to have an idea about the "rules" of a memoir BEFORE I write so that I have an idea of where I am going with the story when I get there.

Any input would be muy appreciated.

citymouse · Feb 13, 2009

Think of Winston Churchill. "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."

It's your memoir. Write it as you see it. As for the 25% fiction, were you in the company of others every minute? Who can say yea or nay to the truth but you?
C

James81 said:
Ok, wasn't sure where to put this, but I figure here would be the best place to get an in depth discussion on the subject....

My current WIP is a memoir of sorts. The only hitch is that I don't want to be bound by "the truth and nothing but the truth" so I have changed the names (I don't want to use the real names in this case for reasons I won't go into) of the people involved.

But the deeper, more confusing part to me, is that there are things that have happened on the internet that I want to change to be dramatized as if they happened in real life (1. Because I think it would make the story more interesting and 2. Because trying to recount internet tales in a story sounds like something that I don't want to try to touch with a ten foot pole). And I also want to take certain liberties with the characters and embellish the story to make it more interesting and readable.

But the story is very much (for the most part) based on real events in my life, and so far (I'm only 3000 words into it) the story is completely and totally true as I remember it. But I don't want to bind myself to that being the case throughout the book and I know when I get to certain parts I am going to want to change some details (plus, I'm not using any of the real names).

My question is, should I market this story as a memoir? I would venture to guess that by the time I am done, the story will be about 75% true, and 25% embellished or changed entirely.

Basically, I'm wanting to know what the standard rules are for memoirs. I remember all the crap James Frey went through with "A Million Little Pieces" and I don't want that to happen to me at all (and I don't care if people know that certain parts aren't true).

Can you embellish a memoir if you openly admit that you are doing so?

Or should I just market this as literary fiction, based on a true story?

I also realize I'm getting the cart before the horse by asking this so soon into the book, but I would like to have an idea about the "rules" of a memoir BEFORE I write so that I have an idea of where I am going with the story when I get there.

Any input would be muy appreciated.

Kate Thornton · Feb 13, 2009

Okay, I have a different view - memoirs are supposed to be real. If it's fiction, then market it as fiction "based on a true story."

We've all had enough of fiction-dressed-as-truth and marketed as memoir. But you could write a really wonderful fiction account and base it on true events.

jclarkdawe · Feb 13, 2009

Take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Frey and http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

Mr. Anonymous · Feb 13, 2009

I would also encourage you to market it as fiction based on real events. Memoir's aren't supposed to be 50% factual, or 75% factual...

Wayne K · Feb 13, 2009

You can call it a creative memoir, but memoir is true.

James81 · Feb 13, 2009

jclarkdawe said:
Take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Frey and http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

That fiasco is why this thread exists (I even mentioned it in my original post).

But surely all the memoirs out there aren't 100% hard and true fact, with ZERO embellishments.

I'm just curious where the line is drawn.

Wayne K · Feb 13, 2009

James81 said:
I'm just curious where the line is drawn.

I guess the line is drawn by you. As someone said previosly, if no one can prove you're embellishing you can go right ahead. But if someone can, you're ruined as a writer for life. James Frey made a ton of cash and probably didn't have another real good book in him, but even if he does no one of consequence will ever read it.

willietheshakes · Feb 13, 2009

Wayne K said:
But if someone can, you're ruined as a writer for life. James Frey made a ton of cash and probably didn't have another real good book in him, but even if he does no one of consequence will ever read it.

Um, no.

Frey makes my skin crawl.

BUT - he did have another book in him. A real book. And a good one, at that.
And yes, people of consequence DID read it. It didn't sell in the numbers that the "memoirs" did, but it did well enough.

Wayne K · Feb 13, 2009

willietheshakes said:
Um, no.

Frey makes my skin crawl.

BUT - he did have another book in him. A real book. And a good one, at that.
And yes, people of consequence DID read it. It didn't sell in the numbers that the "memoirs" did, but it did well enough.

Really? Because other than the fact he wrote another book I didn't hear anything about it. By people of concequence I meant people in the writing community, and that didn't happen except maybe to see if it was any good. Even if it was, who cares? He's a liar.

James81 · Feb 13, 2009

Wayne K said:
Really? Because other than the fact he wrote another book I didn't hear anything about it. By people of concequence I meant people in the writing community, and that didn't happen except maybe to see if it was any good. Even if it was, who cares? He's a liar.

Bright Shiny Morning is the book (and let's not forget the sequel to his first book, My Friend Leonard, which some people have said was better than the first one).

So far, I've read everything he's written, because I love his writing style. And all three of his books get good reviews from me, and his first attempt at fiction I would consider to be as good as anything else out there at the moment.

Then again, I didn't crucify him for his embellishments either. I really don't give a shit how much time he spent in jail, or any of the other small details that he embellished. In fact, I really didn't care if the book was a complete work of fiction, dreamed up in his own mind. I thought the writing was fantastic and I'll keep reading what he puts out until I think it's no longer worth reading.

Then again, that's sort of tangent to the thread, but I thought I'd throw that out there.

I sort of imagine that when he was writing A Million Little Pieces, he didn't have a full grasp on what liberties you CAN take (if any) with a memoir. Personally, I don't believe that he was like "HA HA! THOSE FUCKING FOOLS! I WILL SEE HOW MUCH I CAN LIE AND GET AWAY WITH IT."

I imagine that he, like me, took some liberties with the story and didn't think about the affects it would bring.

Which is kind of why I started this thread. I want to know what kinds of liberties you CAN take with a memoir, whether or not a few embellishments are ok so long as you say that you took liberties with the story, etc.

Wayne K · Feb 13, 2009

James, most readers aren't as forgiving as you are. Anyway James Frey went from superstar on Oprah to an afterthought to me. I would call what you're doing a creative memoir and use a disclaimer like Based on actual events I've been reading that creative non fiction is the new big craze.

Quossum · Feb 13, 2009

I think all / most authors probably use elements of their own lives in everything they write. Ask yourself, why is it important to you that what you're writing be labeled as a "memoir"? A memoir is supposed to be a true story. You're changing things to make a better story, which is what we all do: create better stories. And perfectly okay; we all know that sometimes good fiction is more true than the raw truth.

I vote for the "based on actual events" disclaimer or the "creative memoir" label.

--Q

James81 · Feb 13, 2009

Quossum said:
Ask yourself, why is it important to you that what you're writing be labeled as a "memoir"?

It's not so much important that it be labeled as a memoir, as it is to let it be known that most of what's in this story has actually happened.

And that's important because of the theme of the story, which becomes infinitely (well maybe not infinitely lol) more powerful when you realize that these are actual, true events.

The trouble comes in with translating important internet events into a form that is interesting to read and won't bog the story down or seem out of place in the story.

Wayne K · Feb 13, 2009

James81 said:
It's not so much important that it be labeled as a memoir, as it is to let it be known that most of what's in this story has actually happened.

And that's important because of the theme of the story, which becomes infinitely (well maybe not infinitely lol) more powerful when you realize that these are actual, true events.

The trouble comes in with translating important internet events into a form that is interesting to read and won't bog the story down or seem out of place in the story.

I have a question. Are you afraid if you label it creative or based on actual events people will assume it's mostly made up? That's a legit fear because people do have a tendency to label something that way and pour it on. I can see why you would be resisting because of that.

I need to add this James. I wrote two memoirs this year, and you have no idea how bad I wanted to go where you want to. I would have them sold already if I did and I'm real sure of it. But in the end I thought about being exposed and being raked over the coals. That would be one hell of a legacy as a writer.

James81 · Feb 13, 2009

Wayne K said:
I have a question. Are you afraid if you label it creative or based on actual events people will assume it's mostly made up? That's a legit fear because people do have a tendency to label something that way and pour it on. I can see why you would be resisting because of that.

Yeah, that's probably the main fear.

I mean, I think it's going to be a decent story, and the writing is mostly solid (as solid as anything else I can write I guess). But I think it's a more powerful story and the themes become stronger when you realize that the story is true as opposed to a work of fiction.

James81 · Feb 13, 2009

Wayne K said:
I need to add this James. I wrote two memoirs this year, and you have no idea how bad I wanted to go where you want to. I would have them sold already if I did and I'm real sure of it. But in the end I thought about being exposed and being raked over the coals. That would be one hell of a legacy as a writer.

I just want to clarify something....

My intentions are, regardless of how I market it, to be as completely and totally honest about the story as I can.

If I seek out memoir marketting, at some point in the process (as near the beginning as I can) I will say "Hey, these are the things I embellished, and I want that to be made explicitly clear to the reader."

I'm not asking what I can get away with so much as how far I can go in the writing process of embellishments before it crosses over from "memoir" to "fiction, based on a true story" so that I can have an idea of how much I WANT to embellish this story, or how to market it when the story is finished.

But at all times, with all embellishments, I intend and WANT to be upfront about it.

I just want to know, while I haven't veered off the "truth" yet, how much embellishment is considered "ok" in a memoir (if any), so that I can decide while I am writing it how much to change (or if I want to change it).

If that makes sense.

Basically, I'm not asking what I can get away with, but rather what the line is between memoir and fiction so that if I decide to cross it, I'll know how to market it.

Polenth · Feb 13, 2009

James81 said:
But I think it's a more powerful story and the themes become stronger when you realize that the story is true as opposed to a work of fiction.

Laura Ingalls Wilder's books are based on her life, rather than being a memoir. That doesn't give them any less impact, because the things changed are relatively minor (her age at the start, some characters were combined and some events re-ordered).

Once you're published, you'll have plenty of chances to tell people which bits were added... and to emphasise that the main storyline is true.

jclarkdawe · Feb 13, 2009

Personally I'd publish as fiction, then you can let your imagination go wild. Why be stuck with reality?

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe
'

Rarri · Feb 13, 2009

If you're writing a memoir that has even the slightest element of fiction, then you stand to lose respect; write fiction that has incredibly strong themes and characters and you stand to have a bestseller.

willietheshakes · Feb 13, 2009

Wayne K said:
Really? Because other than the fact he wrote another book I didn't hear anything about it. By people of concequence I meant people in the writing community, and that didn't happen except maybe to see if it was any good. Even if it was, who cares? He's a liar.

Actually, it seems pretty clear that by "people of consequence" you're actually referring to yourself and perhaps -- perhaps -- a small circle of friends. That's the only explanation I can think of, considering the book was widely reviewed (and largely positively), including a review by Walter Kirn in the NY Times, and that it sold fairly well. So, yeah, by most conventional understandings of the phrase "people of consequence", it did get noticed by those people.

Wayne K · Feb 13, 2009

willietheshakes said:
Actually, it seems pretty clear that by "people of consequence" you're actually referring to yourself and perhaps -- perhaps -- a small circle of friends. That's the only explanation I can think of, considering the book was widely reviewed (and largely positively), including a review by Walter Kirn in the NY Times, and that it sold fairly well. So, yeah, by most conventional understandings of the phrase "people of consequence", it did get noticed by those people.

I guess going from worldwide attention and Oprah's book club to William Kim reviewing it is a step up to you----perhaps----but 5 million copies to whatever you are referring to as sales without giving a number is not me and my small circle of friends not buying his book.

James81 · Feb 13, 2009

Are there any rules for writing memoirs? I dunno, I mean, what makes something a "memoir" over an "autobiography"? Do memoirs have any elements of fiction to them at all?

Rarri · Feb 13, 2009

I hope this isn't considered cyber adultery, but a quick Google found this on another site: http://www.writershelper.com/memoir.html

Susan B · Feb 13, 2009

Hello James,

Well, we all have to make our own decisions about this.

I don't think there is a problem with changing names in a memoir, or even certain small identifying details (hair color, number of children) to protect the identity of people you write about. In fact, I think that's pretty routine--although sometimes there is a note to that effect.

I also think it's understood that dialogue has to be reconstructed. So what you offer is a recreation that is as true as you can make it to your recollection. Who walks around with a tape recorder? (Or, for that matter, who would want to read a literal transcript of how most of us speak?) Although it's interesting to note that Frank McCourt did not use quotation marks in his dialogue, precisely because he wanted to avoid any suggestion that it was to be taken as the literal truth.

But when you get into embellishing, deliberately altering the truth to make it more effective or dramatic or compelling, that's where I think it gets dicey. Some respected memoirists have shifted or compressed chronology, or condensed a series of conversations into a single one. Some have created "composite characters." It's a slippery slope. I stayed away from it.

I'm puzzled about what it is you want to do, in connection with the internet stories.

In my memoir, I didn't take many liberties. And it made for a "tamer" story in some ways. (I used to joke that if I'd added some made-up infidelity it would have jazzed up the story--but alas, my only midlife affair was with the Cajun accordion!)

Good luck!

How delicately do you handle a memoir?

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