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View Full Version : A Sad Story, wondering if any of you experienced?



Don Allen
02-12-2009, 09:03 AM
I'll try to keep this short.

When I was 13/14 years of age I had my first date. A lovely big eyed brown haired 13/14 year old girl who was cute as a button.

We kissed once on the cheek, and as I recall it was one of the most stressful moments of my young life. Our relationship lasted a summer as we went to different schools and eventually moved away and lost touch. My fondest memory was pretending to fall asleep with my head on her shoulder as we drove home in the back of my mom's car from a drive-in back in 1972/73

I recently signed up on facebook, and low and behold, this girls sister who now lives on the east coast found me in a matter of days, I was thrilled to here from her untill she told me that my cute little girlfriend died of breast cancer in 2001. I wrote her back and expressed my sympathy and told her about our short childhood romance.

She wrote me back, and what she said next has stuck with me like a cloud for the last three days.

She said, " Don, you have know idea how many times, (my sister) told the family about how you were her first true love over the years and that she never forgot you and always wondered what might have been." Then she went on to say how the family gathered around her when she passed and thanked me for remembering her sister with the fondness her sister would have wanted.

What has thrown me for a loop here, is that I never knew, never thought much about her after are little flirt, and wondered how many peoples live we touch in ways that we have absolutely no clue as to the emotional level of interest they may have that we don't recognize. I don't even know if I made my self clear here, but boy it got me to thinking over the past few days.

For the record, I wish I'd have been old enough to recognize her feelings, hope I haven't dragged you guys down to much...

cooeedownunder
02-12-2009, 09:15 AM
You know Don, for all the sadness your post entails, it also shows the power, influeance, and memories some people retain of others. :)

brainstorm77
02-12-2009, 10:05 AM
Sorry to hear that.

Beach Bunny
02-12-2009, 10:06 AM
What has thrown me for a loop here, is that I never knew, never thought much about her after are little flirt, and wondered how many peoples live we touch in ways that we have absolutely no clue as to the emotional level of interest they may have that we don't recognize. I don't even know if I made my self clear here, but boy it got me to thinking over the past few days.

For the record, I wish I'd have been old enough to recognize her feelings, hope I haven't dragged you guys down to much...
:Hug2:

I am constantly surprised to learn that I have had an impact on someone. Not just in a romantic sense, but in an inspirational or positive sense. And occasionally in a negative way. (I hate that, but I'm not perfect.)

I know that in my life there have been times when a person has said one thing and it sticks with me for the rest of my life. For instance several years ago, a friend of mine said to me "I think you could achieve whatever you set your mind to achieve." My jaw hit the floor. I was so stunned that he had that opinion. I'd never had anyone express that level of confidence in me. Since then, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed and like giving up, I remember what he said to me.

maestrowork
02-12-2009, 10:50 AM
Don, sometimes life threw something at you... I know how you feel -- yes, I've experienced similar things (but not the death), and it's just weird to revisit your past. What might have been, etc. etc. Well, I wrote a book. :) The funny thing is, a year after I published the book, I found the girl and we met again in St. Louis... ("meet me in St. Louis -- how weird!) and I found out she still had feelings for me, but our lives utterly have gone very different directions... It's just bizarre how life imitates arts.

Anyway, yeah... cherish these moments because this is what makes life great - the unexpected. And remember her fondly, as she remembered you.

Joe270
02-12-2009, 02:23 PM
Don, your impact on her life was very positive, perhaps one of the highlights of her life.

To second-guess that impact with 'what if we met up later', no, you would have dulled the memory, might have even ruined it completely.

Puppy love deeply impacts people. I don't think for a second anyone (from the outside of those relationships) takes those early loves as seriously as they should. The dismissal of early love as 'puppy love' or 'infatuation' doesn't take into account or attempt to understand how those early attractions affect us throughout the rest of our lives.

Sure, there's no thoughts on responsibility, or how you can support yourselves financially, and blah, blah, blah, but those intense feelings of attraction are rarely, if ever, felt later in life. There must be something biological, physiological, whatever the ological, which makes these intense relationships possible at an early age.

Frankly, just a buss kiss from my girlfriend Polly in Norfolk, Va. when I was fifteen was more intense than just about any sexual climax I've ever had.

That you gave her a deeply loving memory shouldn't haunt you in any way. You should be thankful that she, obviously, gave you the same memory. In a way, that's what love is all about.

Wayne K
02-12-2009, 04:18 PM
I don't think it's sad at all. I think it's sad that she died, but it's beautiful that she lived her whole life loving you, and that she died with you as her true love. We do that (Living without giving people a second thought) for whatever reason, but it doesn't mean we're feelingless towards them. I think it's because we think they have no interest in us, and then life takes us where it does.

Don Allen
02-12-2009, 04:42 PM
Don, sometimes life threw something at you... I know how you feel -- yes, I've experienced similar things (but not the death), and it's just weird to revisit your past. What might have been, etc. etc. Well, I wrote a book. :) The funny thing is, a year after I published the book, I found the girl and we met again in St. Louis... ("meet me in St. Louis -- how weird!) and I found out she still had feelings for me, but our lives utterly have gone very different directions... It's just bizarre how life imitates arts.

Anyway, yeah... cherish these moments because this is what makes life great - the unexpected. And remember her fondly, as she remembered you.

Yeah Ray,

That's kinda the revelation that struck me, almost surealistic, I think because it comes at you from nowhere and forces you to go back through the mists of time so to speak and think to yourself, "oh yeah, now I remember"

Don Allen
02-12-2009, 04:51 PM
I don't think it's sad at all. I think it's sad that she died, but it's beautiful that she lived her whole life loving you, and that she died with you as her true love. We do that (Living without giving people a second thought) for whatever reason, but it doesn't mean we're feelingless towards them. I think it's because we think they have no interest in us, and then life takes us where it does.


Thanks Wayne, words of wisdom here. ...and I have began to think of this in these terms a bit, a small part that I left out of the original post last night was that I did bump into this girl at a post office, in the middle 90's ,I want to say, and she matured into a lovely woman, the encouter was less tham a minute, and at the time I was puzzeled by her behavior because she had trouble making eye contact and laughed nervously then sort of ran away. At that time I thought "gee, some much for childhood, but now I'm thinking maybe the chance meeting caught her by surprise and she was scared of a bad impression or something.... This is why I find so much comfort in booze.

Don Allen
02-12-2009, 04:58 PM
Don, your impact on her life was very positive, perhaps one of the highlights of her life.

To second-guess that impact with 'what if we met up later', no, you would have dulled the memory, might have even ruined it completely.

Puppy love deeply impacts people. I don't think for a second anyone (from the outside of those relationships) takes those early loves as seriously as they should. The dismissal of early love as 'puppy love' or 'infatuation' doesn't take into account or attempt to understand how those early attractions affect us throughout the rest of our lives.

Sure, there's no thoughts on responsibility, or how you can support yourselves financially, and blah, blah, blah, but those intense feelings of attraction are rarely, if ever, felt later in life. There must be something biological, physiological, whatever the ological, which makes these intense relationships possible at an early age.

Frankly, just a buss kiss from my girlfriend Polly in Norfolk, Va. when I was fifteen was more intense than just about any sexual climax I've ever had.

That you gave her a deeply loving memory shouldn't haunt you in any way. You should be thankful that she, obviously, gave you the same memory. In a way, that's what love is all about.

Thanks Joe, You struck a good point with the haunting part. Not even the puppy love bothers me as much as first, having a childhood friend die. I think for all of us as we age that becomes a wake up call, I know you know what I mean. BUT, then to think she died of this ridiculously horrible fucking disease which seems to me effects everyones family at some point in your lives, and then to hear what, 7 years after her death that I was something very special to her, honestly, it's been hurting my head....... But talking it out with you guys is something special and I want everyone to know thew first round is on me whenever the re-union arrives.

Don Allen
02-12-2009, 05:01 PM
:Hug2:

I am constantly surprised to learn that I have had an impact on someone. Not just in a romantic sense, but in an inspirational or positive sense. And occasionally in a negative way. (I hate that, but I'm not perfect.)

I know that in my life there have been times when a person has said one thing and it sticks with me for the rest of my life. For instance several years ago, a friend of mine said to me "I think you could achieve whatever you set your mind to achieve." My jaw hit the floor. I was so stunned that he had that opinion. I'd never had anyone express that level of confidence in me. Since then, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed and like giving up, I remember what he said to me.


I hear you... Who was it that wrote that piece about the butterfly effect? Oh shoot,,,, I think it was Edward Casey, I could be wrong.....