Ever feel like the Emperor waiting to be exposed?

KTC · Feb 11, 2009

As a writer, do you ever feel like you're in the Emperor's New Clothes story? If so, how the hell do you deal with it?

I keep waiting for some runny-nosed kid to point at me and say, 'Hey! He can't write! The Emperor is nude!"

When do you start believing and stop being afraid that you'll be found out to be the big stinky phony that you really are?

ChaosTitan · Feb 11, 2009

KTC said:
When do you start believing and stop being afraid that you'll be found out to be the big stinky phony that you really are?

Since it hasn't happened yet, I'll let you know.... :e2hammer:

Cranky · Feb 11, 2009

KTC said:
As a writer, do you ever feel like you're in the Emperor's New Clothes story? If so, how the hell do you deal with it?

I keep waiting for some runny-nosed kid to point at me and say, 'Hey! He can't write! The Emperor is nude!"

When do you start believing and stop being afraid that you'll be found out to be the big stinky phony that you really are?

I'd sure like to know the answer to that one, too. Letting other people read my stuff is yes, a lot like being naked in public...horribly uncomfortable, wondering if they're going to see that I need to do more crunches and lunges, or if they'll appreciate my particular set of curves.

Okay, wow, that might've taken the analogy a little too far, but I hope you know what I mean. LOL!

ETA: I always feel like a fraud at thoses times...I think most folks do, so I'm curious to see if anyone ever does overcome that feeling...

quickWit · Feb 11, 2009

KTC said:
I keep waiting for some runny-nosed kid to point at me and say, 'Hey! He can't write! The Emperor is nude!"

Anyone who creates a story with a title beginning "Dubious Pickles..." is a writer to me.

For myself though...yeah. I'm a complete fraud.

aka eraser · Feb 11, 2009

Pretty sure I can honestly say I've never felt that way. I've always felt at least competent as a writer with gusts up to good.

KTC · Feb 11, 2009

aka eraser said:
Pretty sure I can honestly say I've never felt that way. I've always felt at least competent as a writer with gusts up to good.

That's a lucky state of mind. I envy you.

Thanks for your feedback, all. I think it's sometimes a curse of the creative mind. I don't know. I have this overwhelming sense of unworthiness at the precise moments I am getting lucky breaks...like it will all come crashing down. I never feel good enough to pull something out of the hat and when people offer encouragement it seems to work in reverse...almost like I expected them to say, "What are you thinking! You can't do that!" When I don't get that negative validation, I wonder if they are blind, like they are flawed...not me. I'm aware that I am talking in circles. That's the nature of the feelings.

It would be great to feel confident, but I don't think there's a recipe to get you there.

CaroGirl · Feb 11, 2009

I have a sense that having something accepted for publication would give me more confidence, not less. However, until that happens, it's just speculation.

I had more confidence in my writing back before I could wallpaper my office with rejection slips, I can tell you that much. Although I'm arguably a better writer now than I was when I started.

I don't know how to get through crises of confidence. Try the power of positive thinking: I'm good enough; I'm smart enough; and doggonit, people like me!

SJAB · Feb 11, 2009

I recently got taken on by an agent, a good one. I keep looking at the agency website and seeing who they rep, then worrying. Any moment the agent is going to wake up to the fact I am a big fraud, or I am going to wake up with half my face plastered with drool

Stew21 · Feb 11, 2009

I've been in this state of lack of confidence for a good couple of months (though I've had regular bouts of it for years, this is probably the longest jag I've been on). I don't know how to make it stop. No clue.

but I do know exactly how you feel.

NeuroFizz · Feb 11, 2009

Kevin and Trish (and others)--write your way out of it. Jut out your jaw, tighten the grip on your pencil, and realize that everyone around you is naked as well.

Mark

Set

Go...

quickWit · Feb 11, 2009

NeuroFizz said:
Jut out your jaw, tighten the grip on your pencil, and realize that everyone around you is naked as well.

Yikes.

KTC · Feb 11, 2009

I write every day. I don't see it as something I can chase away with words. I love the concept though.

LexiCan · Feb 11, 2009

I can tell you I go through the same thing. Not just with writing but at the office too. I think, "any minute now the partners are going to realize that I have no idea what I'm doing...I'm just making this stuff up!"
Of course that's not true. There is something to be said for experience and knowledge. Seems like that should overtake feelings of incompetence but sadly it doesn't. Aside from "aspiring author" I am an artist (painting, drawing etc). I try to remember that all art is subjective. "Beautiful" is different to each person.
I know what you mean, though. It sure would be nice to feel worthy of the bit of admiration that we do receive.

rugcat · Feb 11, 2009

KTC said:
When do you start believing and stop being afraid that you'll be found out to be the big stinky phony that you really are?

Never.

waylander · Feb 11, 2009

KTC said:
As a writer, do you ever feel like you're in the Emperor's New Clothes story? If so, how the hell do you deal with it?

I keep waiting for some runny-nosed kid to point at me and say, 'Hey! He can't write! The Emperor is nude!"

When do you start believing and stop being afraid that you'll be found out to be the big stinky phony that you really are?

Don't care!
I look good naked

scratchingcat · Feb 11, 2009

I feel like that all the time. That is one of the reasons I have not really shared much with you wise men and women here. I need to get up the courage first. (Dandelion comes to mind...)

willietheshakes · Feb 11, 2009

KTC said:
As a writer, do you ever feel like you're in the Emperor's New Clothes story? If so, how the hell do you deal with it?

Every. Waking. Moment.

As for dealing: gin.

Perks · Feb 11, 2009

Sometimes. I was gifted a really neat link by our own Williebee and it made it to AuthorScoop's Afternoon Viewing for today.

If you have the time, it's completely worth it. It energized me in a way that I've been missing for a while and it addresses this concern in part.

mscelina · Feb 11, 2009

Not so much for me. I consider myself a journeyman writer. *shrug* I'm still on my writing journey. I fully expect to have my deficiencies pointed out at some point, although I'm working like a fiend to eliminate those faults from my writing. I think in a lots of instances, though, I do write myself out of those moments of insecurity. My problem is my absolute inability to distinguish between a manuscript of mine that works and one that doesn't apparently, because I have no qualms about sending an inadequate story out on submission.

scarletpeaches · Feb 11, 2009

I'm the opposite.

Everyone thinks I'm crap; I'm just waiting for someone to say "Hey! Actually she's not bad!"

KTC · Feb 11, 2009

willietheshakes said:
Every. Waking. Moment.

As for dealing: gin.

That's promising. I've read your work. You will never be disrobed. I'm not much on gin, but a vodka martini...I'm listening. Thank you.

benbradley · Feb 11, 2009

Feeling like a fake appears to be a common thing in many areas of life. I've felt like that in some area or other every day of my life. But enough about me...

In one of the two PBS Nova episodes on him, Richard Feynman talked about playing bongos and the fun he had. He never claimed to be a "professional" bongo player, but he and some friends started playing bongos for this ballet/play thing, and it became quite popular. The play eventually got the attention of people who invited them to do it in Paris as part of some competition. The play lost, and the judges said there was something wrong with the musical accompaniment. Feynmam said something like "See, I knew I was just a faker all along, but look how long it took go get found out!"

KTC said:
...
When do you start believing and stop being afraid that you'll be found out to be the big stinky phony that you really are?

I'd like to know that too.

stormie · Feb 11, 2009

Uh-oh. Nope. I swear I never felt that way. There was a period of time when I knew my writing was suffering, but I never felt like I wasn't a writer, or a good one.

Delusional? Maybe. But then again, maybe that's what keeps me writing.

Spiny Norman · Feb 11, 2009

All the damn time.

There's a story from Conan O'Brien from when he got interviewed by the AV Club... It was that if he ever got to be 90 years old, and they were about to give him some huge lifetime achievement award for excellence in comedy, and everyone was talking about how great he was, the only thing he'd be thinking would be, "I've fooled them! I'm still fooling them!" He said there would never be a time when he really feels like he's "made it." Like he's gotten to where he's wanted to go, or that he can relax.

I definitely feel that way. I've got a book coming out in a year and everyone seems to like it, but I have a strong suspicion that when it comes out it'll be met with raised eyebrows and scoffs, and everyone will realize I'm just a dumb kid who can hit keys.

EDIT: Found the excerpts:

Conan: Once people get established and have success, people tend to think they were always like that. The most important thing you can tell young people is that there's this process, and it's never over. You never really feel like you've made it. You never really feel... There's a lot of difficulty getting anywhere, and once you're there, you never feel like you're there. I'm always feeling like, okay, now we've got to get this show to the next place, whatever that is. If tonight was a good show, we've got to try really hard to make sure tomorrow's a good show. If tonight was not a good show, I'm depressed. I'm as depressed as I was seven or eight years ago when we had a bad show.

AVC: The last time you spoke with The A.V Club, you said you never feel like you've really made it. Is that still true now that you're going to host The Tonight Show?

COB: The problem is, you don't. I'm always postponing gratification. If anyone tries to congratulate you, see how you do. See what happens next week. Gee, Jay did it for 20 years, and Johnny did it for 30. If you have this idea in your head that there's a finish line that you can cross, then you'll probably get hit by a bus. But I get gratification for, like, eight minutes, and then I start thinking that what we did is already gone. It's always been my personality. I think the people I really like and admire are probably the same. They're probably always trying to get it right. You never get it quite right. You just don't take it too far, because you'll be miserable. I have the feeling that if I live to be 80 and they throw a banquet celebrating my contributions to television, I'll just be thinking "I've fooled them again!"

brainstorm77 · Feb 12, 2009

For me its nothing ventured nothing gained .. So why not keep on trying.

Ever feel like the Emperor waiting to be exposed?

Stand in the Place Where You Live

Around

Totally Ninja!

Fish Whisperer

Stand in the Place Where You Live

Living the dream

Being edited for submission

The grad students did it

Totally Ninja!

Stand in the Place Where You Live

practical experience, FTW

Lost in the Fog

Who's going for a beer?

Gentleman. Scholar. Bastard.

delicate #!&@*#! flower

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

Stand in the Place Where You Live

It's a doggy dog world

storm central

practical experience, FTW