"It was a sunny out. Delighted, John slipped on his coat and hat and went out."
Critic 1: First off, it's "sunny." So John won't be needing a coat and hat. Yeah, maybe it's still cold, but readers couldn't possibly know this from the context, w/o being telepathic. Second: opening a story with a remark about the weather is so cliche that readers will be reaching for their own hats!
This critique is not out rightly rude, but will still make the writer not only feel that their story is being critiqued but that they are, too: they weren't swift enough to realize these glaring errors. There's also no need for the rhetorical flourishes. They're entertaining, and other members may get a kick out of them, but that isn't what providing a critique is about. A critic simply wants to relay advise to a writer about how they "might" improve their story and, if possible, do so in an encouraging and supportive way:
Critic 2: You probably would want to open your story in another way, other than by a remark about the weather. "Probably," the preferred choice of words, here, because among other things it isn't necessarily the case that an opening remark about the weather wouldn't due in this story. There are no absolute rules in writing, so declarative viewpoints really don't have a place in a critique. The "First off," might also be eliminated. It is condescending and makes a writer feel like they're being scolded like a child.
In fairness, a critic doesn't want to overdo it with niceness, either, for the purpose of predisposing a writer in their favor and getting them to pay attention to what they have to say, which I think I may do myself, at times. Being nice and courteous are essential, but they should only be used to encourage a writer and not to persuade them to adopt advise.
Let the merits of the points we raise be the things that convince writers to take our advise, and if they don't do so that is not a loss, because who's to say that our advise is right? None of us have any absolute answers, as shown by all the differences in opinions we have on topics discussed on this board.
Critic 1: First off, it's "sunny." So John won't be needing a coat and hat. Yeah, maybe it's still cold, but readers couldn't possibly know this from the context, w/o being telepathic. Second: opening a story with a remark about the weather is so cliche that readers will be reaching for their own hats!
This critique is not out rightly rude, but will still make the writer not only feel that their story is being critiqued but that they are, too: they weren't swift enough to realize these glaring errors. There's also no need for the rhetorical flourishes. They're entertaining, and other members may get a kick out of them, but that isn't what providing a critique is about. A critic simply wants to relay advise to a writer about how they "might" improve their story and, if possible, do so in an encouraging and supportive way:
Critic 2: You probably would want to open your story in another way, other than by a remark about the weather. "Probably," the preferred choice of words, here, because among other things it isn't necessarily the case that an opening remark about the weather wouldn't due in this story. There are no absolute rules in writing, so declarative viewpoints really don't have a place in a critique. The "First off," might also be eliminated. It is condescending and makes a writer feel like they're being scolded like a child.
In fairness, a critic doesn't want to overdo it with niceness, either, for the purpose of predisposing a writer in their favor and getting them to pay attention to what they have to say, which I think I may do myself, at times. Being nice and courteous are essential, but they should only be used to encourage a writer and not to persuade them to adopt advise.
Let the merits of the points we raise be the things that convince writers to take our advise, and if they don't do so that is not a loss, because who's to say that our advise is right? None of us have any absolute answers, as shown by all the differences in opinions we have on topics discussed on this board.