How do Mods get picked?

Mac spots a likely victimcandidate based on participation, attitude, input from other mods, etc. Then she asks (sometimes) if that person would be willing to contribute further by taking on a forum as its moderator. Sometimes that candidate says 'yes' and is immediately fitted with the shock collar and jackboots. Then comes the 'comfy' chair where we get indoctrinated. Sometimes, if our training begins to slip, we get the 'comfy' chair again.

Sometimes, the victimcandidate says, "No... I can't/won't/don't have time/whatever-excuse, and Mac does it any way.

I was shanghaied.

Can I at least have the shock collar and jackboots? I'm way too irresponsible and snarky to be a mod...but those boots look hot...

Depends. Do you have big feet?

Rolling Thunder said:

Depends. Do you have big feet?

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Size 11.5. Why?

thethinker42 said:

Size 11.5. Why?

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No reason.

Rolling Thunder said:

No reason.

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Then where are my jackboots and shock collar? WANT! NOW!!





For the record, I won't be the one wearing the shock collar...just the boots...

...wouldn't mind having a pair of jackboots, myself,
so I can set them ablaze and toss them in a heap of manure,
in remembrance of their use by the Wehrmacht and SS.

thethinker42 said:

Then where are my jackboots and shock collar? WANT! NOW!!





For the record, I won't be the one wearing the shock collar...just the boots...

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There's currently only one size of boots in stock. Sorry, but your feet are 'overqualified'.

Rolling Thunder said:

There's currently only one size of boots in stock. Sorry, but your feet are 'overqualified'.

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Are you calling my feet fat???

"Picked"



We get picked in the same way that a Grizzly bear "picks" salmon out of a river.

clockwork said:

"Picked"



We get picked in the same way that a Grizzly bear "picks" salmon out of a river.

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So, basically you're saying the mods are the slow ones who were too stupid to avoid the bear?

Rolling Thunder said:

There's currently only one size of boots in stock. Sorry, but your feet are 'overqualified'.

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thethinker42 said:

Are you calling my feet fat???

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Not at all. But they aren't the regulation size. To qualify as a Mod the victim's recipient's feet must be no larger than a cloven hoof.

Rolling Thunder said:

Not at all. But they aren't the regulation size. To qualify as a Mod the victim's recipient's feet must be no larger than a cloven hoof.

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I thought mods practiced footbinding as part of the hazing initiation training process...so wouldn't shoe size be a moot point?

I would only agree to indoctrination modifying (ha! Didja see what I did there?) if I could wear thigh-high, black patent leather, stiletto-heeled boots.

scarletpeaches said:

I would only agree to indoctrination modifying (ha! Didja see what I did there?) if I could wear thigh-high, black patent leather, stiletto-heeled boots.

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Actually, could you do that anyway? Because...

Oh wait, wrong forum.

thethinker42 said:

I thought mods practiced footbinding as part of the hazing initiation training process...so wouldn't shoe size be a moot point?

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No no: that's part of the torture ceremony we practice on TIO regulars. It's the fun part.

Rolling Thunder said:

No no: that's part of the torture ceremony we practice on TIO regulars. It's the fun part.

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Oh. I knew I must've read the wrong chapter in the rulebook.

There's a rulebook?

*whistles innocently and warms hands by the fire*

clockwork said:

"Picked"



We get picked in the same way that a Grizzly bear "picks" salmon out of a river.

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There's a lottery, sort of. Mac makes a special oat cake, and then burns a black dot on one part.

Whoever gets the burned bit, gets Modded.

The others go into the bog . . .

Oh, wait, no, that was the story of Lindow Man.

thethinker42 said:

So, basically you're saying the mods are the slow ones who were too stupid to avoid the bear?

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No, I'm saying that during one stage of the modding process you get turned into a salmon and have to fight a bear. If you last more than twenty seconds, you've passed Anti Troll & Spalmon Training.

What's the life expectancy of a mod round these parts?