Ooh, am I tweaked off

Perks · Feb 5, 2009

So I'm sitting up in my office and two teenage boys stroll down my street. One of the two opens up my mailbox, looks inside, walks away, doubles back and looks back in it again, then carries on down the street.

So I open up my window and say, "Hey, why are you opening my mailbox?"

Kid says, "Oh, I was just sticking something in there because we thought we might be walking back this way."

"Well don't do that. That's not cool."

I didn't see him put anything in my mailbox, but I'll go check in a minute. Before I could close the window, the little shit says, "Fuckin' bitch."

So now, in my quiet little neighborhood, I get to worry about these hooligans screwing around with my mail. I get Netflix movies and coffee deliveries and if I've pissed them off, I've drawn unwanted attention to myself and my stupid mailbox.

I don't like this one bit.

Mr Flibble · Feb 5, 2009

Have you thought of sitting at the window cleaning a shotgun nonchalantly and nodding at them in a meaningful manner whenever they walk past?

regdog · Feb 5, 2009

Shoot the little ba***** with the hose, accidentally of course

quickWit · Feb 5, 2009

Don't sweat it, Perks. I'm sure they're just checking the mailboxes for pron. No big deal.

regdog · Feb 5, 2009

quickWit said:
Don't sweat it, Perks. I'm sure they're just checking the mailboxes for pron. No big deal.

Oh what kind of pron?

Shadow_Ferret · Feb 5, 2009

Just wait til they come back with an M80.

I think you need to get a big mean doberman.

quickWit · Feb 5, 2009

regdog said:
Oh what kind of pron?

The hawt nekkid kind.

Perks · Feb 5, 2009

Hmmm. If I was going to have a dog, it'd be a doberman. But I do have a Mossberg 12-gauge.

regdog · Feb 5, 2009

quickWit said:
The hawt nekkid kind.

Hawt nekki pron, ohhh

brokenfingers · Feb 5, 2009

It's nothing a preemptive strike with a baseball bat can't fix.

Perks · Feb 5, 2009

I don't get pron in my mailbox. I live in the electronic age.

Perks · Feb 5, 2009

brokenfingers said:
It's nothing a preemptive strike with a baseball bat can't fix.

You think I should beat in my own mailbox before they do?

brokenfingers · Feb 5, 2009

You could also put a sticker/sign saying your mailbox is under surveillance.

quickWit · Feb 5, 2009

Perks said:
I don't get pron in my mailbox. I live in the electronic age.

Pron-snob.

brokenfingers · Feb 5, 2009

Perks said:
You think I should beat in my own mailbox before they do?

Better safe than sorry.

rhymegirl · Feb 5, 2009

We had some footprints (in the snow) leading up to our mailbox and front door the other night.(this was long after the mail was delivered and it had snowed again) We still don't know who left them or why they were at the door. Me, I think it was ghosts.

I used to have trouble with neighborhood teens. They used to ring our doorbell and hide in the bushes, run off, stuff like that. They did all kinds of wacky things and we were constantly calling the police.

One idea is to hide a video camera somewhere so you will be able to see if they take anything or do anything wrong.

quickWit · Feb 5, 2009

brokenfingers said:
You could also put a sticker/sign saying your mailbox is under surveillance.

...or mine the area around the mailbox. That'll learn 'em.

Shadow_Ferret · Feb 5, 2009

You realize, of course, that you only need to kill one. Leaving his carcass hanging near the box will frighten off all the others.

rhymegirl · Feb 5, 2009

quickWit said:
...or mine the area around the mailbox. That'll learn 'em.

You're so sweet, quicky.

Perks · Feb 5, 2009

Shadow_Ferret said:
You realize, of course, that you only need to kill one. Leaving his carcass hanging near the box will frighten off all the others.

Yes, but I think that might play some havoc in my mail delivery.

Not to mention my liberty and, um, pursuit of happiness, since I'd be clueless how to go about that in the pen.

brokenfingers · Feb 5, 2009

Face it, Perks. This is war.

It's time to go to the mattresses.

quickWit · Feb 5, 2009

What if you just wing one of 'em? That's OK, right?

Perks · Feb 5, 2009

brokenfingers said:
Face it, Perks. This is war.

If they steal my coffee or tamper with my damned movies, it very well may be.

And what if I've gotten acceptance letters that I don't know about!!! HOLY SHIT!!! This explains so much.

HeronW · Feb 5, 2009

Hell, Perks, once you get a rep for bein' the biggist baddass for skinning the two-legged vermin, even the warden will be your footstool.

Aside from what you want to do when you grow up--a note taped outside the mailbox saying that it and the house are under video surveillance should send those peckerwoods elsewhere to commit their idiocy. Taking their descriptions and passing them to the police isn't a bad idea either--mail fraud and messing with that stuff used to be a federal offense.--Call your PO and PD about it--keep track of days, times--when you can and describe the punks. If they walk in the cold--they may live nearby.

Beach Bunny · Feb 5, 2009

I believe it is a federal offense to put something in someone's mailbox that isn't mail. You might want to nicely point that out to the little buggers the next time they walk by.

Ooh, am I tweaked off

delicate #!&@*#! flower

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

The Scavengers

Totally Ninja!

The Scavengers

Court Jester

Totally Ninja!

delicate #!&@*#! flower

The Scavengers

Walkin' That Road

delicate #!&@*#! flower

delicate #!&@*#! flower

Walkin' That Road

Totally Ninja!

Walkin' That Road

It's a New Year!

Totally Ninja!

Court Jester

It's a New Year!

delicate #!&@*#! flower

Walkin' That Road

Totally Ninja!

delicate #!&@*#! flower

Down Under Fan

The Provocative One