I think I fail as a girl

Eskimo1990

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I am in no way girly.

Up in till my 10th grade year I always wore pants and t-shirts.
I have no knowledge of how to put on make-up. I've tried and failed various times at it.
I do not know how to straighten my hair. Which is why the only time it gets straighten is when I either beg my sister or someone decides they want to give me a make over.

I can't put in my own earrings. My mom did it for me since I've had them pierced. Now I hardly wear them. Though my ears still haven't closed up, and it's always easy to put earrings in, even though I didn't have any earrings in for a year. A fact my mom and sister hate haha.

I feel like I don't know myself at all.

So I think I absolutely fail as a girl.
 

Hillary

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This sounds more like you fail at being ambitious. It's not like I came out of the womb wielding a hair iron. It took a solid three or four weeks before they let me plug one into my crib.
 

Captshady

What happened to my LIFE?!
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Maybe you shouldn't identify yourself as a girl, and indentify yourself as a person. Pursue your own dreams and philosophy, not one that you think is expected of you?
 

Fenika

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We're sisters!

And I *still* wear pants and a t-shirt. And I'm 28.

And makeup consists of concealer for the worst of the acne. Sometimes.
 

Eskimo1990

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Oh and I only just had my first boyfriend.

Even though all my girly friends were having boyfriends while I sat by and watched, soaked up their tears when things went sour, and patched up their hearts when it ended, all while thinking why that wasn't me with the boyfriend....

All I got was a guy who liked me but not enough to date me....

At least until I met my ex....
 

William Haskins

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embrace the part of yourself that doesn't find those things important enough to bother with.
 

stormie

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Nope. You're not failing at being a girl, you just don't want to be bothered with all of that stuff. And it is "stuff." The media bombards us with what they want us to think we should have. Make-up, certain shoes, hair just so, clothes that are tomorrow's news.... The kids you go to school with--they bombard you with what they think you should wear, do, think, say, eat. I know it sounds so cliche, but stick with what you're comfortable with. Otherwise you're going to be even more miserable.
 

M.R.J. Le Blanc

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Up in till my 10th grade year I always wore pants and t-shirts.

So did I. In fact my school uniform consisted of polo shirts and school pants, and maybe once a month I wore the kilt (and only because it cost $60). Even wore pants and shirts continuously after that.

I have no knowledge of how to put on make-up. I've tried and failed various times at it.

Neither do I. I'm going to get a friend to show me how (she's taking courses to become a makeup artist) but I don't anticipate it being a daily thing. I'm too damn lazy lol

I do not know how to straighten my hair. Which is why the only time it gets straighten is when I either beg my sister or someone decides they want to give me a make over.

Neither do I. But I have the luxury of having such heavy hair that the weight straightens itself rather nicely.

I feel like I don't know myself at all.

So I think I absolutely fail as a girl.

I think 'being a girl' needs to be redefined. It's more than makeup and hair and clothes. I consider myself very much a girl even though I wear no makeup, can't be bothered to 'style' my hair, favour jeans and other pants over skirts and dresses. Knowing yourself is a life-long thing - enjoy the journey, it's lots of fun :)
 

K1P1

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Make up? If you've got fangs there's no need for concealer.
 

Cassiopeia

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This sounds more like you fail at being ambitious. It's not like I came out of the womb wielding a hair iron. It took a solid three or four weeks before they let me plug one into my crib.
Hey now that's kinda mean. :tongue

It isn't about being ambitious. Perhaps not everyone is like us glitter girls who have to primp and preen in front of the mirror.

Eskimo, you haven't failed at being a girl. Your gender is female and by definition that is what a girl is. Girls come in all shapes and sizes. There are girly girls and there are Tomboy girls and everything in between.

And don't worry about just having had your first boyfriend. Think of all the drama you've avoided and rejoice. ;)

Everyone has their own thing and their own stride. I'm sure you are just fine, just the way you are. :)

:Hug2:
 
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Pagey's_Girl

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I'm forty and I still haven't quite gotten this whole "girly" thing down, either. I think there's a "G" chromosome that I'm missing. :)

ETA - And let's not even go into the time I got a curling iron so badly wrapped up in my hair that it took me almost an hour to get the darn thing out. That was when I realized there was a reason the permanent wave was invented...
 

K1P1

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OK, I guess I need to be serious here. I don't wear makeup. I don't wear dresses or skirts (except occasionally to contra dances, where even some of the guys wear skirts, weddings and funerals). 90% of the time I wear jeans and turtlenecks/polo shirts/t-shirts (depending on how formal I want to be and how cold it is). I don't do anything with my hair but wash it and let it dry.

I do put in my own earrings, I confess, but I can't stand necklaces and bracelets, which get in my way.

And I feel perfectly feminine. I'm reminded of a friend who told me her ex had thought she should wear sexy little unmentionables to bed. She felt sexy in sweat pants and a t-shirt. The guy she's married to now appreciates her in whatever wardrobe she wears.

So, if you're comfortable in your body and in your normal clothes, why worry about what you think "girly girls" would do/wear/look like? Just be you.
 

Cranky

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*looks at self, wearing jeans and a wife-beater tee*

If makeup, shoes, and pretty dresses are all it took to qualify one as a girl, then I'd fail, too.

Don't sweat it. You're a girl. As has been said, girls don't fit into one little mold and that's it. We just don't, any more than all guys fit into one mold either. :)
 

Ol' Fashioned Girl

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I have never been so happy and so free as when I reached an age where I didn't worry about that crap anymore (I think that was about... uh... 25 years ago... or so...). I can only wish for you to develop the same 'I am what I am' attitude long before I did. Hugs.
 

poetinahat

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How are earrings a girl-specific thing anymore?
 

Beach Bunny

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I am in no way girly.

Up in till my 10th grade year I always wore pants and t-shirts.
I have no knowledge of how to put on make-up. I've tried and failed various times at it.
I do not know how to straighten my hair. Which is why the only time it gets straighten is when I either beg my sister or someone decides they want to give me a make over.

I can't put in my own earrings. My mom did it for me since I've had them pierced. Now I hardly wear them. Though my ears still haven't closed up, and it's always easy to put earrings in, even though I didn't have any earrings in for a year. A fact my mom and sister hate haha.

I feel like I don't know myself at all.

So I think I absolutely fail as a girl.
Feminity does not come from a compact, hairstyling implement, sparkles, or any of that other crap that we're told is girly. It comes from inside. Think about all the stuff that you like about being female. Accentuate the positive in your thoughts, enjoy being a female, and that will shine through no matter what you wear, put on your face, or do to your hair. :)

That external stuff can be learned, IF you WANT to learn how to do it. If you WANT to wear make-up, find a make-up artist to teach you how to do it or ask a friend who is GOOD at it. If you want to wear earrings find ones that are easy to put on, there are several different post styles. Instead of straightening your hair, get it cut to work with the natural curl. Do you know how many women get their permed to get the curls that you have? Learn to love those curls. ;)
 

Red.Ink.Rain

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Makeup is overrated. As are dresses and tight t-shirts and flirty clothes. And I've had only two boyfriends in my life, and I'm 18, and the first one didn't really count because apparently he wanted more than hand-holding. (Don't let me rant about that.)

Anyway, my point is, you are not a failure as a girl. You just happen to be a girl who doesn't like jewelry and makeup and girly clothes. That doesn't make you lame, it just makes you a little deeper than those superficial girls who can't live without mascara.

If you are ever on Survivor, you would win, and not embarrass yourself by acting like a slut or complaining that your makeup is running. :D
 

thethinker42

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I feel like I don't know myself at all.

So I think I absolutely fail as a girl.

I haven't worn makeup since my wedding in 2002. The last time before that was my senior prom in 1999.

I would rather wear steel-toed boots than high heels.

I belch like a frat boy, would rather read Maxim than Cosmo, and am more content getting muddy working on a farm or watching football than...whatever it is girly girls do.

You haven't failed as a girl. You'd be failing as *yourself* if you tried to force yourself into some mold that other people have decided you should fit into.

Life is too short to be what everyone else thinks you should be.

From one tomboy to another. :D

*BELCH*
 

NeuroFizz

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I don't wear a white lab coat (don't own one). I don't carry a clipboard. I don't have beakers of different colored liquid bubbling away in my lab. I guess I fail as a scientist.

E., different is not synonymous with bad. And it makes no sense to aspire to a stereotype.