If I wanted to get married in three days...

Hillary · Jan 22, 2009

I don't. But this guy I know does. And I need your help!

I've seen Green Card... Once... When I was like 8.

So I don't really know how any of this works.

Quick backstory: My brother's friend, Doug, ~~is going to~~ thinks he's getting married. Where he lives, in New York City. To a British girl named Abby. In three days.

Theirs was a whirlwind romance so fast, I'm not entirely sure either of them even experienced it.

They met in a bar in NYC, talked over drinks for 20 minutes, and (as all sane people do) decided to get married. When questioned very politely WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY he was doing that, Doug said, "It's just, you know, something I've always wanted to do," somewhat as if I'd asked him why he was going bungee jumping.

He also added that he was "kinda bored" and "it seems fun."

(I'm entirely serious right now, by the way. Tragically serious.)

Anyway, Abby is due into NYC in a day or so, and they think they are getting married on the 26th.

My question to the general AW population is this: Say Abby is here on a tourist visa and didn't alert anyone customs or immigration or anything that she has a fiancé in the US (thus, they didn't park her butt in The Awesome Windowless Room for questioning), what legal hoops might they have to jump through? Is there any way they can ACTUALLY get married in a few days? Doug seems to think so, but as you may have gathered, he's slightly demented.

The real issue here is gas money. My brother is due to be driving down to NYC for the "wedding" but honestly, I think it's going to be a waste of gas. And though the prices are down, it's still a couple tanks and I think that's stupid for him to waste.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't want to stop the wedding. It's going to make a great party story, and I'm in need of party stories. And granted, this is all going to end horribly, and the only question now is WHICH horrible ending is it going to have? Is Abby going to wait until she's legal, and try to take Doug for all he's worth, or is she going to cut out his kidney and make everything so tragic she robs me of the chance of saying "I told you so, you moron!"? In any case, the waste of gas is really deplorable if the wedding can't legally happen in a few days.

Any one have any legal info to back up my "waste of gas" theory? Or can she really come here, get married, and apply for change of status or Naturalization (or whatever happens) afterwards?

James81 · Jan 22, 2009

I dunno.

I could probably get someone laid in 3 days, but marriage?

Hillary · Jan 22, 2009

She had children, btw. Did I mention she has children?

Doug found out about the kids after they decided to get hitched... (Funny, the things you don't learn about someone in a 20-minute conversation over drinks.) He almost "called off the wedding" over this but decided ~~true love~~ idiocy shall prevail.

benbradley · Jan 22, 2009

This is a great story, there's just one thing I'd change:

Hillary said:
...
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't want to stop the ~~wedding~~ train wreck. It's going to make a great party story, and I'm in need of party stories. And granted, this is all going to end horribly, and the only question now is WHICH horrible ending is it going to have? Is Abby going to wait until she's legal, and try to take Doug for all he's worth, or is she going to cut out his kidney and make everything so tragic she robs me of the chance of saying "I told you so, you moron!"? In any case, the waste of gas is really deplorable if the wedding can't legally happen in a few days.

Any one have any legal info to back up my "waste of gas" theory? Or can she really come here, get married, and apply for change of status or Naturalization (or whatever happens) afterwards?

Namatu · Jan 22, 2009

I don't know about getting married, but for Abby to be able to stay in the country is something else entirely nowadays if she's only here on a tourist visa.

Bubastes · Jan 22, 2009

Here are the legal requirements to get married in New York. I'm not sure how being a UK citizen affects things.

http://www.health.state.ny.us/vital_records/married.htm

darkprincealain · Jan 22, 2009

I guess the question is, did she bring one document from each of the two categories listed under Proof of Identity?

If she didn't, you're so off the hook it's not even funny. :hooray:

But it would ruin the ending to your party story. :Shrug:

maestrowork · Jan 22, 2009

Seems rather spontaneous and foolish, and you'd be sure the INS will look at that marriage with great scrutiny.

As for the tourist visa, that's not a problem. The visa gets her into the US. She can apply to change her immigration status once she gets legally married to a US citizen and he petition for her green card. Still, like I said, since they practically just met, you'd be sure the INS will scrutinize this marriage.

And here's drinking to the "sanctity of marriage." "Bored and kind of fun" is exactly the reason to get married. Isn't it great that we can meet for a few days and get married while many American gay citizens can't get married even after they've been together for 20 years?

melaniehoo · Jan 22, 2009

maestrowork said:
Seems rather spontaneous and foolish, and you'd be sure the INS will look at that marriage with great scrutiny.

As for the tourist visa, that's not a problem. The visa gets her into the US. She can apply to change her immigration status once she gets legally married to a US citizen and he petition for her green card. Still, like I said, since they practically just met, you'd be sure the INS will scrutinize this marriage.

And here's drinking to the "sanctity of marriage." "Bored and kind of fun" is exactly the reason to get married. Isn't it great that we can meet for a few days and get married while many American gay citizens can't get married even after they've been together for 20 years?

^^^ what he said. Since she'll be in the country legally it's easier to get a more permanent visa based on the marriage, but INS (technically DHS now) will most certainly examine the validity of the union.

regdog · Jan 22, 2009

maestrowork said:
Isn't it great that we can meet for a few days and get married while many American gay citizens can't get married even after they've been together for 20 years?

They can here in MA

. Smug state pride

As to the impending NY wedding. Stupid is as stupid does.

I do know that a girl where I worked met a guy at the fair on a Friday and married him on Saturday. They were married for 8 blissful months of him beating the s*** out of her and she couldn't understand why she didn't realize he was violent until after she married him. After all she had known him for 12 whole hours.

maestrowork · Jan 22, 2009

regdog said:
They can here in MA . Smug state pride

Not trying to get into that discussion

but it's not recognized at the federal level so that means they still don't have things like benefits, rights, etc. especially outside of MA.

/end derail

BenPanced · Jan 22, 2009

If Meg Ryan doesn't appear anywhere and it doesn't have a soundtrack by Vonda McIntyre, lock him in a room until she's left the country.

NeuroFizz · Jan 22, 2009

Any marriage plans made in a bar without at least three bladder emptyings between "Hi" and "Sure, why not" are doomed.

Darzian · Jan 22, 2009

Since a would-be-couple know each other, on average, for a few months at least before having a 3-7 hour wedding, this one will probably take 12-50 seconds (or less).

Kitty Pryde · Jan 22, 2009

OK, one of my good friends is a Brit who married an American (actually I think it was in NY!). I dunno about requirements to get married in NY, but I know you can always get married in Vegas without having to jump through any hoops (my folks were married at The World Famous Chapel of the Bells in Las Vegas, and they've been married 30 years!). Anyway, after my Brit friend got married, she was able to stay in the US with a green card. Naturalization (aka becoming a US citizen), on the other hand, took AGES. Like, years and years and years, even with a lawyer to help expedite her paperwork.

Hillary · Jan 22, 2009

Before I reply to anything, or give reps where they were earned...

For a laugh... You can check out the thread my brother posted on this same thing over on his haunt - The Awful Forums. Here it is. (Incidentally... The filters for the awful forums amuse the hell out of me. Gently caress? Loving? Brilliant... I might just filter myself like that in the future.)

It includes pictures of the people getting married. But, here, for your viewing pleasure... Doug and Abby:

Hillary · Jan 22, 2009

maestrowork said:
Seems rather spontaneous and foolish, and you'd be sure the INS will look at that marriage with great scrutiny.

As for the tourist visa, that's not a problem. The visa gets her into the US. She can apply to change her immigration status once she gets legally married to a US citizen and he petition for her green card. Still, like I said, since they practically just met, you'd be sure the INS will scrutinize this marriage.

Yeah... Okay, that's what I was afraid of. They can actually go through with the wedding and do most of the paperwork after... Jeez.

Looks like this future trainwreck is leaving the station.

I think at this point, all I can do is talk my brother into filming it. Right?

He's got a degree in visual effects; I'm pretty sure he can procure a high def camera and make a REAL go of this thing. Maybe go up a day before, interview them a few times, chat with his friends, film them around the city, the four-person wedding party, the bar they rented out after, and tell them he's making them a keepsake video... Documentary gold!

*sniffs* Anyone else smell an Oscar?

rhymegirl · Jan 22, 2009

Come on, you people! I can size someone up in 20 minutes! Sheesh! Less than that.

Oh and Abby there looks like Britney Spears.

robeiae · Jan 22, 2009

Exactly.

I'll wager that they stay together the rest of their lives, have a wonderful marriage, and end up on the Today show for their fiftieth anniversary.

Hillary · Jan 22, 2009

rhymegirl said:
Oh and Abby there looks like Britney Spears.

Possibly just as crazy too, eh?

robeiae said:
Exactly.

I'll wager that they stay together the rest of their lives, have a wonderful marriage, and end up on the Today show for their fiftieth anniversary.

I'll see your prediction and raise you "Doug believes in every conspiracy theory known to man including, but not limited to, the 'fact' that George Bush is a shape-shifting lizard-alien."

Srsly.

robeiae · Jan 22, 2009

Hillary said:
I'll see your prediction and raise you "Doug believes in every conspiracy theory known to man including, but not limited to, the 'fact' that George Bush is a shape-shifting lizard-alien."

Srsly.

Maybe they're two peas in a pod (you know, one of those alien clone-making pods).

But look, we (as a society) put too much stock--imo--in making sure he/she's "Mr/Ms Right."

If they go through with this, I think they have as good a chance of making it work as, say, two peeps that lived together for a couple of years and then got married. Seriously.

quickWit · Jan 22, 2009

rhymegirl said:
Come on, you people! I can size someone up in 20 minutes! Sheesh! Less than that.

robeiae said:
Exactly.

It would seem life on the stroll has it's advantages.

robeiae · Jan 22, 2009

quickWit said:
It would seem life on the stroll has it's advantages.

The primary one being the ability to kick a rabbit across the street without blinking an eye.

quickWit · Jan 22, 2009

robeiae said:
The primary one being the ability to kick a rabbit across the street without blinking an eye.

No fear of ninja bunnies for you then, eh?

That's super.

NeuroFizz · Jan 22, 2009

robeiae said:
Exactly.

I'll wager that they stay together the rest of their lives, have a wonderful marriage, and end up on the Today show for their fiftieth anniversary.

So, you think they made it to the three-pee threshold after all?

If I wanted to get married in three days...

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