Please. Kill. Me. Now.

scarletpeaches · Jan 19, 2009

Well look. You know you'll get shit whatever you do.

So the first thing should be, look after yourself. I seriously wouldn't go. Especially if they put my husband in therapy. As long as he understands your reasons for not going, that should be all that matters.

Remember the conversation we had yesterday about a particular fuckwit who plays the victim and twists everything to make it your fault?

You can't win. So don't even play the game.

maestrowork · Jan 19, 2009

Who is Shannon Leto?

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

You're definitely right: I can't win. There is NO winning this one.

It's all about damage control, I guess. LOL

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

maestrowork said:
Who is Shannon Leto?

BLASPHEMY!!!

scarletpeaches · Jan 19, 2009

thethinker42 has developed Tourette's over this. So far, it's restricted its outbreaks to MSN, but it may spread to AW soon...

stormie · Jan 19, 2009

Scarlet might be onto something there....

Anyway, it sounds like it'd be torture going, and afterward you're still going to have issues with them.

Fake illness then? The flu is going around. So they don't believe you. Big deal. How would they like to have the flu?

Or can you make an appearance where ever they're redoing their vows then claim a stomach virus, you know, even pack a fart machine? My sons have a great remote-controlled one.

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
thethinker42 has developed Tourette's over this. So far, it's restricted its outbreaks to MSN, but it may spread to AW soon...

Actually, that's probably not too far from the truth...all joking aside, I have a tic on my left eye and the corner of my mouth that show up when I'm stressed.

And right now, they're both going gangbusters.

Yes, these people stress me out that much.

scarletpeaches · Jan 19, 2009

Completely aside from saying what I would do (just refuse to go. Fuck 'em) I vote for either faking illness, or realising you have something else on, that very day!

nevada · Jan 19, 2009

Faking your own death wouldn't work because whose picture would they put on your novel once it get's published. It would be really awkward if you appeared again just for the book tour.

I vote for number one but instead of the self-loathing feel satisfaction and pride that you are an adult who can put aside other people's pettiness and toxicity. if htey think everything is hunky dory why should you care? you don't care what these people think of you and you're only doing damage control. And as for the SIL what she said to you is unacceptable, 200% agreed. The only way to deal with that is walk away. every time she comes near you, go to the bathroom, go get a canape. when she approaches you, say hello, oh excuse me please, i'll brb, and just turn around and walk away.

You're not caving in. you are doing what you need to do to maintain your family unit cohesion (you and your husband). That's always the best thing to do. Some people just will never understand what they have put other people through, and sometimes you just need to be okay with that. It is not right, but it's just the way it is sometimes.

Good luck.

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

stormie said:
Scarlet might be onto something there....

Anyway, it sounds like it'd be torture going, and afterward you're still going to have issues with them.

That's exactly it: It would be TORTURE to go...but I'm worried it'll be even WORSE if I don't go and don't find some sort of legitimate, believable reason not to go.

Fake illness then? The flu is going around. So they don't believe you. Big deal. How would they like to have the flu?

Or can you make an appearance where ever they're redoing their vows then claim a stomach virus, you know, even pack a fart machine? My sons have a great remote-controlled one.

A fart machine? Pffft. For something like this, I'd go natural.

*wonders if deliberate severe flatulence at a family gathering is outlawed by the Geneva Convention...*

scarletpeaches · Jan 19, 2009

nevada said:
...You're not caving in. you are doing what you need to do to maintain your family unit cohesion (you and your husband). That's always the best thing to do. Some people just will never understand what they have put other people through, and sometimes you just need to be okay with that. It is not right, but it's just the way it is sometimes...

Why does she have to associate with people who stress her out this much to keep her family unit with her husband strong? These are the same fuckwits who put their own son in therapy. Some parents.

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

nevada said:
Faking your own death wouldn't work because whose picture would they put on your novel once it get's published. It would be really awkward if you appeared again just for the book tour.

Hahahah, true enough.

I vote for number one but instead of the self-loathing feel satisfaction and pride that you are an adult who can put aside other people's pettiness and toxicity. if htey think everything is hunky dory why should you care? you don't care what these people think of you and you're only doing damage control.

An interesting perspective...not sure I could pull it off, but an interesting way to look at it. I can't even put into words what these people do to me. Really. I've never heard the end of anything I've ever done, but Lord help me if I even HINT that they should apologize for anything they've done to me. These people have emotional blackmail and verbal abuse down to a science.

And as for the SIL what she said to you is unacceptable, 200% agreed. The only way to deal with that is walk away. every time she comes near you, go to the bathroom, go get a canape. when she approaches you, say hello, oh excuse me please, i'll brb, and just turn around and walk away.

You're probably not familiar with the phrase "captive audience", are you?

(This is a woman who openly roasted me during the toasts at my own wedding...)

Matera the Mad · Jan 19, 2009

Keep the hubs but divorce the in-laws?

Write something in your blog about...um...no, that's something I would do, I'm older and crustier. But stay away from them. Their kind of behavior will never stop, they are fucktards now and forever. They should be hung up on, their letters burned unread. Ignore them, bury them.

That's just my opinion, of course

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

Ol' Fashioned Girl · Jan 19, 2009

Do the travel arrangements allow for 1. Only being able to zip in for the ceremony and a quick 'Gotta run!' or 2. Oh, hell! I missed my connection! Sorry I missed your special day!

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

Matera the Mad said:
Write something in your blog about...um...no, that's something I would do, I'm older and crustier.

Nooooooooo blogging about them. Holy hell. I did that once before. Big mistake.

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:
Do the travel arrangements allow for 1. Only being able to zip in for the ceremony and a quick 'Gotta run!' or 2. Oh, hell! I missed my connection! Sorry I missed your special day!

Sadly, no. They already know I'm in town for 2 weeks, and the date is right smack in the middle of my trip.

Maybe I could find a way to get arrested for something. Hmmm...

scarletpeaches · Jan 19, 2009

Matera the Mad said:
Keep the hubs but divorce the in-laws?

Write something in your blog about...um...no, that's something I would do, I'm older and crustier. But stay away from them. Their kind of behavior will never stop, they are fucktards now and forever. They should be hung up on, their letters burned unread. Ignore them, bury them.

That's just my opinion, of course

The letters or the in-laws?

Ol' Fashioned Girl · Jan 19, 2009

thethinker42 said:
Here's the fun part...what finally put him over the edge was when his mother sent him an e-mail saying "You're not my son anymore." A few days later, it was her birthday, so he didn't call. He wasn't trying to be petty or passive-aggressive, he figured she didn't want t hear from him. (And really, he didn't want to talk to her either)

So she left him a voice mail saying "I hate you! You are dead to me." That's a direct quote and it's NOT the entire message. I practically shoved him into a therapist's office after that and even she was stunned by the message.

In my next life...I'm marrying an orphan.

You know... forget what I suggested before. Here are your new orders:

1. Avoid these people like the plague.
2. Change your phone numbers.
3. Lose their phone numbers and addresses.
4. If anything comes from them, trash it.

Life is waaaaay too short for this BS.

stormie · Jan 19, 2009

Just wondering, or maybe I missed it: what about completely severing ties with them? Change phone numbers, if you have to. (I know that's hard to do but....) For your MIL to say that to her own son on the voice mail?!

scarletpeaches · Jan 19, 2009

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:
You know... forget what I suggested before. Here are your new orders:

1. Avoid these people like the plague.
2. Change your phone numbers.
3. Lose their phone numbers and addresses.
4. If anything comes from them, trash it.

Life is waaaaay too short for this BS.

Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

I don't want to mention my family in a thread about yours, but...trust me. Better. Off. Without. This. Shite.

poetinahat · Jan 19, 2009

Hmmm... how 'bout this:

Send them an email telling 'em how much you have to tell them about what you're up to... and attach a link to the threads you've started in OP? Um, wait... they might love that - then you have your in-laws in AW too. Never mind!

thethinker42 · Jan 19, 2009

scarletpeaches · Jan 19, 2009

Play the SP card. Send me in your stead and I'll go all 'Throw Momma From the Train' on their asses.

You can do my little button-pusher if you like. I'll tell you where she works.

Please. Kill. Me. Now.

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