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“I brought chocolate,” Susie said. “Beach Bunny, do you have the remote?”
“Yup!” She held the remote up for all to see. “Ken has marshmallows to roast on the fire. We can make s’mores!”
“I brought my battle axe,” Don said.
The small crew looked at him like he’d gone nuts.
“What?” Don said. “Well, you know, people used to dress up for Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was just getting in the mood. This is a medieval film. Right?”
“Not a film exactly,” Leukman said, sitting on the couch between Beach Bunny and Susie. He passed the popcorn to Susie. “It’s a security tape that’s been edited."
“Aw, gee, thanks much, Leuk dear. You’re the best!” Susie said. “And it was so nice of the film editors to add sound.”
Don set his battle axe aside. “Well, I’ll just keep it next to me, in case I feel inspired.”
“Sssshhh!” Beach Bunny hissed. “It’s starting.”
*******
Evil Stalks the Castle, Chapter 9
Regdog snarled at Sir Ferret entangled with two voluptuous maids on the sofa in the Great Hall.
“Get them boys!” Regdog shouted at her pet dragons.
Sir Ferret scrambled up as the dragons pounced on the maids and devoured them. Regdog grabbed Sir Ferret by the scruff of his neck and shook him back and forth.
“Guess where I’ve been,” Regdog roared at Sir Ferret, ignoring the choking sounds coming from his muzzle. “Out searching! And guess what I found!”
Sir Ferret’s paws scratched wildly at the air.
“The thread you wrote about your wife! Wife! You consort with the Queen! The maids! And now a wife!” Regdog’s chest heaved with each sputter.
Before he could answer, Regdog whisked Sir Ferret away to the dungeon and tossed him in a cell. She signaled for her chimera to stand guard.
“I’m going to try to regain my composure,” she said then slid the key fob onto the chimera’s slimy snake fang. “I’m about ready to leave this Queendom to whatever is stalking it.” She stomped off into the dungeon’s shadows.
Sir Ferret coughed and heaved as he stared after her. “Actually, I consorted with my wife first.” He coughed again. “I thought Regdog knew. I thought everyone knew.” He began to pace his cell floor. “At least she didn’t shackle me this time.”
“Don’t worry, Ferret! I’ll save you!” Sassandgroove appeared out of no where.
“Yay! At least someone, who knows I’m married, still likes me.” He grinned like a school boy at Sassandgroove.
“Alas and alack,” he continued, “Regdog placed the key on the poisonous fang of the chimera's snake head. It would appear I’m here until Regdog calms down. But it was a nice thought, Sass. You’re good people.”
Regdog emerged from the shadows. “Dear Sass, this is personal. I would hate to involve you.” She glared at Sir Ferret then turned her attention back to Sassangroove. “Lunch will be served soon, Sass. If you’d like to wait in the Great Hall, this won’t take long.”
Regdog took the keys from the Chimera’s snake fang and opened the cell door. She leaned toward Sir Ferret’s ear and spoke softly. “Of course, I knew you were married. It seemed like the best excuse to talk to you privately. Something is very wrong here. Come with me.”
He followed her out of the dungeon and was led to the armory.
“I don’t know what is going on here, but it isn’t good. All my pets are ready for battle and waiting.” Regdog motioned to the wall of medieval weapons. “Choose your weapon. And then I think it is best for us to return to the Great Hall and wait. We don’t want to alarm the others. Things should appear normal.”
Sir Ferret looked over the weapons.
“Cool! I like the black headed ax and the single ball and chain. That one’s great for crushing skulls and in the mood I’m in.” He swung the weapon with a flourish.
******
Back in the Great Hall it was lunch time. Bayou Bill filled his plate with hamburgers, fries, potato salad, eggplant, spaghetti, a roast chicken, three cupcakes, a banana split and a few radishes.
Sir Ferret and Regdog entered the room, followed shortly by Sassandgroove.
“I have no idea what’s up with Sir Ferret and Regdog," Sassandgroove said, "and I’m not sure I want to, but I still love you, Sir Ferret. I’m confused. Are you and Regdog making up? I thought I was rescuing you. Ooohhh! Lunch!” She walked over to the banquet table and began to fill a plate.
She picked up a corndog and bit off the end. “I locked myself out of my house this morning and had to introduce myself to my neighbor and ask to use his phone to call Mr. Groove. So Mr. Groove came back home to let me in and I was forty minutes late to work so I don’t really get a lunch break today.”
Sir Ferret, Regdog, and Bayou Bill stared at Sassandgroove like she’d just mentioned something about real life.
“It’s a long story, Sass,” Sir Ferret said in an attempt to de-confuse Sassandgroove. “It started on page 618. Sorry about getting locked out of the house.”
******
Meanwhile, Kitrianna had had enough of being cooped up in her cell. “Where’s my food?” she bellowed from the bowels of the dank dungeon.
“Oh, crap!” said Sir Ferret. “We forgot about Kit. It’s been so nice and quiet without her.”
The others stared at him with blank expressions.
“Fine!”
He ran down to the dungeon nearly tripping over a long metal object in the stone floor.
“Hey, my sword. What’s it doing down here?” He picked it up and resheathed it.
“Coming, Kit!” he called. “Are you going to behave?” he said when he got to her cell.
“I always did behave and now you guys know this strange stuff isn’t happening because of me!” Kit rubbed her head with a sigh. “Something knocked me out cold all night long.” She pointed to the panther lying on the cell floor with its tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. “And Zeus isn’t looking too good over there. That’s not normal for him.”
Sir Ferret unlocked her cell. “Okay. I never thought you were guilty, but this should prove it. If you hurry there might be some lunch left.” He knelt by Zeus’ side. “I think he’s drugged.”
“Thanks, Sir Ferret. You are a gentleman,” Kitrianna said. She bent over Zeus. “He’s still breathing. I’ll bring him some lunch and that should wake him up.” She ran up the dungeon stairs; Sir Ferret followed.
******
Something was buzzing around the Great Hall, something about the size of a hummingbird.
“I have tiny feet. I play the bansuri and everyone follows. What more can I say?” The tiny voice twittered and sang as it flew and danced around the Great Hall settling on a window sill unnoticed.
******
QuickWit stood by Queen Vixey at the courtyard entrance.
“Something doesn’t smell right,” the Queen said. “The air’s got a rotten, putrid odor. And something else. Wood smoke?”
“My apologies, Your Highness,” QuickWit said. “I had a seafood burrito for lunch.”
The Queen waved her hand in front of her face. “I’m talking about the wood smoke. I’m concerned there may be a forest fire.” She took a few steps into the courtyard toward the woods. A howl pierced the air. “Okay, that’s as brave as I can be for one day. I’ll send my guards out to see what’s going on.”
The hummingbird-like creature whizzed past them and settled onto a gargoyle’s head. The diminutive creature sighed and played a melody on its bansuri.
The Queen cocked her head in the direction of the music, but made no comment.
******
Regdog leashed her dragons and followed the Queen into the courtyard. Her spine tingled at the sound of the howl. Adrenalin raced through her system and she itched to track the mournful creature. She tugged on her dragons’ leashes and set off on a well-worn path into the woods.
********
Sir Ferret hobbled out to the courtyard using a war ax as a cane. “Man, my ankle hurts.”
“Are you alright?” the Queen asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. I was concerned for your safety. I saw you move toward the woods. You shouldn’t wander off alone, especially these days.”
“I smelled smoke. And something awful. Do you smell it?” Queen Vixey put her hand to her head. “And I feel strange.”
“Yes, I do smell something. Something decaying.” He shuddered. “What are you feeling?”
“Hey!” Quickwit piped up. “I apologized.” He hopped back toward the castle in a huff.
“I smell doggy breath,” said a little voice.
The Queen and Sir Ferret looked all around but couldn’t see where the voice came from.
“Methinks the Queen will have a litter of pups soon.” The voice was high pitched and pure. Still the Queen and Sir Ferret couldn’t see who spoke the words.
“Um…I’ll escort you back to the castle,” Sir Ferret said taking the Queen’s arm. “Balto, go find Regdog. Tell her the Queen is safe.” He whistled for his miniature dragon that flew off at his master’s command.
Queen Vixey paused by the gargoyle where a tiny creature perched. It had a human form with glittery gold skin and a pair of diaphanous wings. The creature blinked and waved a tiny wand in the air.
“What did you say?” the Queen said to the creature. “I’ll have a litter of pups?”
The creature’s wings fluttered and it hovered for a moment above the gargoyle’s head.
“Everyone knows in the elven forest Freil that werewolf mothers are able to smell rancid meat scents and they begin to feel strange when they are going to have a litter. It’s common knowledge. Perhaps you have been wandering in your sleep?” The creature pulled out a flute from beneath the folds of its skirts. “You have also heard the flute music. Very low did I play!”
At that moment, Haggis crawled into the Great Hall, dragging his single back leg behind him. A trail of blood oozed from the gaping wound where his other leg had been.
“Hi, everyone! What’s new?” he said before he collapsed.
*******
“Ewww!” Beach Bunny said. “I thought this film had been edited.”
“It’s not a film, Bun Buns, it’s a security tape,” Leukman said.
“Hi, everyone,” Haggis said. He scampered into the Great Hall and hopped up onto a club chair. “Did someone bring Scotch?”
“Aw, hello, Haggis dear. Don’t you look just chipper,” Susie said.
“Speaking of chipper,” Ken said. “How did you pull off that scene where your leg’s missing?”
Haggis winked. “Make up.”
Don shook his head. “Right.”
*******
Haggis is missing a leg and Sir Ferret had chopped off a werewolf's leg. Coincidence?
Who was the strange fairy creature and how did she know so much?
Was Queen Vixey really pregnant with werepuppies?
What the heck is a bansuri?
And will QuickWit ever learn to take his Beano?
Is Ferret a hero or a tramp?
“Yup!” She held the remote up for all to see. “Ken has marshmallows to roast on the fire. We can make s’mores!”
“I brought my battle axe,” Don said.
The small crew looked at him like he’d gone nuts.
“What?” Don said. “Well, you know, people used to dress up for Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was just getting in the mood. This is a medieval film. Right?”
“Not a film exactly,” Leukman said, sitting on the couch between Beach Bunny and Susie. He passed the popcorn to Susie. “It’s a security tape that’s been edited."
“Aw, gee, thanks much, Leuk dear. You’re the best!” Susie said. “And it was so nice of the film editors to add sound.”
Don set his battle axe aside. “Well, I’ll just keep it next to me, in case I feel inspired.”
“Sssshhh!” Beach Bunny hissed. “It’s starting.”
*******
Evil Stalks the Castle, Chapter 9
Regdog snarled at Sir Ferret entangled with two voluptuous maids on the sofa in the Great Hall.
“Get them boys!” Regdog shouted at her pet dragons.
Sir Ferret scrambled up as the dragons pounced on the maids and devoured them. Regdog grabbed Sir Ferret by the scruff of his neck and shook him back and forth.
“Guess where I’ve been,” Regdog roared at Sir Ferret, ignoring the choking sounds coming from his muzzle. “Out searching! And guess what I found!”
Sir Ferret’s paws scratched wildly at the air.
“The thread you wrote about your wife! Wife! You consort with the Queen! The maids! And now a wife!” Regdog’s chest heaved with each sputter.
Before he could answer, Regdog whisked Sir Ferret away to the dungeon and tossed him in a cell. She signaled for her chimera to stand guard.
“I’m going to try to regain my composure,” she said then slid the key fob onto the chimera’s slimy snake fang. “I’m about ready to leave this Queendom to whatever is stalking it.” She stomped off into the dungeon’s shadows.
Sir Ferret coughed and heaved as he stared after her. “Actually, I consorted with my wife first.” He coughed again. “I thought Regdog knew. I thought everyone knew.” He began to pace his cell floor. “At least she didn’t shackle me this time.”
“Don’t worry, Ferret! I’ll save you!” Sassandgroove appeared out of no where.
“Yay! At least someone, who knows I’m married, still likes me.” He grinned like a school boy at Sassandgroove.
“Alas and alack,” he continued, “Regdog placed the key on the poisonous fang of the chimera's snake head. It would appear I’m here until Regdog calms down. But it was a nice thought, Sass. You’re good people.”
Regdog emerged from the shadows. “Dear Sass, this is personal. I would hate to involve you.” She glared at Sir Ferret then turned her attention back to Sassangroove. “Lunch will be served soon, Sass. If you’d like to wait in the Great Hall, this won’t take long.”
Regdog took the keys from the Chimera’s snake fang and opened the cell door. She leaned toward Sir Ferret’s ear and spoke softly. “Of course, I knew you were married. It seemed like the best excuse to talk to you privately. Something is very wrong here. Come with me.”
He followed her out of the dungeon and was led to the armory.
“I don’t know what is going on here, but it isn’t good. All my pets are ready for battle and waiting.” Regdog motioned to the wall of medieval weapons. “Choose your weapon. And then I think it is best for us to return to the Great Hall and wait. We don’t want to alarm the others. Things should appear normal.”
Sir Ferret looked over the weapons.
“Cool! I like the black headed ax and the single ball and chain. That one’s great for crushing skulls and in the mood I’m in.” He swung the weapon with a flourish.
******
Back in the Great Hall it was lunch time. Bayou Bill filled his plate with hamburgers, fries, potato salad, eggplant, spaghetti, a roast chicken, three cupcakes, a banana split and a few radishes.
Sir Ferret and Regdog entered the room, followed shortly by Sassandgroove.
“I have no idea what’s up with Sir Ferret and Regdog," Sassandgroove said, "and I’m not sure I want to, but I still love you, Sir Ferret. I’m confused. Are you and Regdog making up? I thought I was rescuing you. Ooohhh! Lunch!” She walked over to the banquet table and began to fill a plate.
She picked up a corndog and bit off the end. “I locked myself out of my house this morning and had to introduce myself to my neighbor and ask to use his phone to call Mr. Groove. So Mr. Groove came back home to let me in and I was forty minutes late to work so I don’t really get a lunch break today.”
Sir Ferret, Regdog, and Bayou Bill stared at Sassandgroove like she’d just mentioned something about real life.
“It’s a long story, Sass,” Sir Ferret said in an attempt to de-confuse Sassandgroove. “It started on page 618. Sorry about getting locked out of the house.”
******
Meanwhile, Kitrianna had had enough of being cooped up in her cell. “Where’s my food?” she bellowed from the bowels of the dank dungeon.
“Oh, crap!” said Sir Ferret. “We forgot about Kit. It’s been so nice and quiet without her.”
The others stared at him with blank expressions.
“Fine!”
He ran down to the dungeon nearly tripping over a long metal object in the stone floor.
“Hey, my sword. What’s it doing down here?” He picked it up and resheathed it.
“Coming, Kit!” he called. “Are you going to behave?” he said when he got to her cell.
“I always did behave and now you guys know this strange stuff isn’t happening because of me!” Kit rubbed her head with a sigh. “Something knocked me out cold all night long.” She pointed to the panther lying on the cell floor with its tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. “And Zeus isn’t looking too good over there. That’s not normal for him.”
Sir Ferret unlocked her cell. “Okay. I never thought you were guilty, but this should prove it. If you hurry there might be some lunch left.” He knelt by Zeus’ side. “I think he’s drugged.”
“Thanks, Sir Ferret. You are a gentleman,” Kitrianna said. She bent over Zeus. “He’s still breathing. I’ll bring him some lunch and that should wake him up.” She ran up the dungeon stairs; Sir Ferret followed.
******
Something was buzzing around the Great Hall, something about the size of a hummingbird.
“I have tiny feet. I play the bansuri and everyone follows. What more can I say?” The tiny voice twittered and sang as it flew and danced around the Great Hall settling on a window sill unnoticed.
******
QuickWit stood by Queen Vixey at the courtyard entrance.
“Something doesn’t smell right,” the Queen said. “The air’s got a rotten, putrid odor. And something else. Wood smoke?”
“My apologies, Your Highness,” QuickWit said. “I had a seafood burrito for lunch.”
The Queen waved her hand in front of her face. “I’m talking about the wood smoke. I’m concerned there may be a forest fire.” She took a few steps into the courtyard toward the woods. A howl pierced the air. “Okay, that’s as brave as I can be for one day. I’ll send my guards out to see what’s going on.”
The hummingbird-like creature whizzed past them and settled onto a gargoyle’s head. The diminutive creature sighed and played a melody on its bansuri.
The Queen cocked her head in the direction of the music, but made no comment.
******
Regdog leashed her dragons and followed the Queen into the courtyard. Her spine tingled at the sound of the howl. Adrenalin raced through her system and she itched to track the mournful creature. She tugged on her dragons’ leashes and set off on a well-worn path into the woods.
********
Sir Ferret hobbled out to the courtyard using a war ax as a cane. “Man, my ankle hurts.”
“Are you alright?” the Queen asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. I was concerned for your safety. I saw you move toward the woods. You shouldn’t wander off alone, especially these days.”
“I smelled smoke. And something awful. Do you smell it?” Queen Vixey put her hand to her head. “And I feel strange.”
“Yes, I do smell something. Something decaying.” He shuddered. “What are you feeling?”
“Hey!” Quickwit piped up. “I apologized.” He hopped back toward the castle in a huff.
“I smell doggy breath,” said a little voice.
The Queen and Sir Ferret looked all around but couldn’t see where the voice came from.
“Methinks the Queen will have a litter of pups soon.” The voice was high pitched and pure. Still the Queen and Sir Ferret couldn’t see who spoke the words.
“Um…I’ll escort you back to the castle,” Sir Ferret said taking the Queen’s arm. “Balto, go find Regdog. Tell her the Queen is safe.” He whistled for his miniature dragon that flew off at his master’s command.
Queen Vixey paused by the gargoyle where a tiny creature perched. It had a human form with glittery gold skin and a pair of diaphanous wings. The creature blinked and waved a tiny wand in the air.
“What did you say?” the Queen said to the creature. “I’ll have a litter of pups?”
The creature’s wings fluttered and it hovered for a moment above the gargoyle’s head.
“Everyone knows in the elven forest Freil that werewolf mothers are able to smell rancid meat scents and they begin to feel strange when they are going to have a litter. It’s common knowledge. Perhaps you have been wandering in your sleep?” The creature pulled out a flute from beneath the folds of its skirts. “You have also heard the flute music. Very low did I play!”
At that moment, Haggis crawled into the Great Hall, dragging his single back leg behind him. A trail of blood oozed from the gaping wound where his other leg had been.
“Hi, everyone! What’s new?” he said before he collapsed.
*******
“Ewww!” Beach Bunny said. “I thought this film had been edited.”
“It’s not a film, Bun Buns, it’s a security tape,” Leukman said.
“Hi, everyone,” Haggis said. He scampered into the Great Hall and hopped up onto a club chair. “Did someone bring Scotch?”
“Aw, hello, Haggis dear. Don’t you look just chipper,” Susie said.
“Speaking of chipper,” Ken said. “How did you pull off that scene where your leg’s missing?”
Haggis winked. “Make up.”
Don shook his head. “Right.”
*******
Haggis is missing a leg and Sir Ferret had chopped off a werewolf's leg. Coincidence?
Who was the strange fairy creature and how did she know so much?
Was Queen Vixey really pregnant with werepuppies?
What the heck is a bansuri?
And will QuickWit ever learn to take his Beano?
Is Ferret a hero or a tramp?
Last edited:
Well done vixey.
