Hi everyone, 
I've been thinking about this for awhile now, and I think I'm going to go through with it. I'm going to *try* to leave AW.
I use the word 'try' because as we all know, this forum is one of the most addictive writers' sites in the world. So I will *try* to leave, when I log off in another half-hour to an hour from now.
I don't think I've ever told anyone this, but for the last five years, ever since my days on the PAMB, I have had a crippling fear of being sued by other posters on forums for libel. I know this fear is highly irrational, but I nevertheless have suffered from it for half a decade.
On the PAMB, we used to talk all the time about how we were going to sue people for libel if they did not say what we wanted them to say about either our books, our publisher, or just about anything else. That intense libel-happy attitude got me to a point where I simply could not say what I really thought or felt, because I was terrified that someone from the boards would sue me for a mis-spoken word or phrase.
Sadly, that crippling fear carried over into my membership at AbsoluteWrite, as well as any other forum I belonged to over the years.
Anymore, the only forum I frequent is AbsoluteWrite. And even though my fear might be misplaced, I know I need to take care of it before I can come back to the forums again and be a regular poster. I have other reasons for leaving, too, but this one is the clincher for me. I can talk about how much posting on forums wastes time I should be using to write, but I've done that before and it didn't seem to do anything to help my resolve. Of course, I'm a different person now, and the changes of the last few weeks have made me stronger both in resolve and in purpose. But the fact I've never told anybody my five year fear, tells me it holds a much tighter grip over me than I ever realized before.
I'm probably going to be on the forums for maybe another half-hour, to take care of thread subscriptions, say my goodbyes, or whatever else I can think of. But I wanted to let you all know that the pure terror I feel at the very thought I might have offended someone through any post, has really taken its toll on my ability to write effectively, create effectively, or even read a novel with the same fervor I did before I came to the boards.
So I'm *trying* to get off AW. I hope I can leave these boards with some amount of perseverance. I *know* I can leave AW with a deep sense of gratitude to the people, past and present, who have helped me to grow out of a sense of pure despair when PA still had the rights to my book, and into a sense of greater independence and strength as a human being. I am thankful that though it was a royal airhead that guided me here, I still came when I realized what my so-called publisher really was.
I am glad to have learned from, conversed with, and made lasting friends of, a great many of the members of AbsoluteWrite. I do hope that someday I can come back with a renewed sense of freedom as I write each post. But in the meantime, I'm happy to have been a part of this, one of the best writing websites in the world.
I hope to see you all around the 'Net, or at the very least to see your books all over the bookstore shelves.
--Sean
I've been thinking about this for awhile now, and I think I'm going to go through with it. I'm going to *try* to leave AW.
I use the word 'try' because as we all know, this forum is one of the most addictive writers' sites in the world. So I will *try* to leave, when I log off in another half-hour to an hour from now.
I don't think I've ever told anyone this, but for the last five years, ever since my days on the PAMB, I have had a crippling fear of being sued by other posters on forums for libel. I know this fear is highly irrational, but I nevertheless have suffered from it for half a decade.
On the PAMB, we used to talk all the time about how we were going to sue people for libel if they did not say what we wanted them to say about either our books, our publisher, or just about anything else. That intense libel-happy attitude got me to a point where I simply could not say what I really thought or felt, because I was terrified that someone from the boards would sue me for a mis-spoken word or phrase.
Sadly, that crippling fear carried over into my membership at AbsoluteWrite, as well as any other forum I belonged to over the years.
Anymore, the only forum I frequent is AbsoluteWrite. And even though my fear might be misplaced, I know I need to take care of it before I can come back to the forums again and be a regular poster. I have other reasons for leaving, too, but this one is the clincher for me. I can talk about how much posting on forums wastes time I should be using to write, but I've done that before and it didn't seem to do anything to help my resolve. Of course, I'm a different person now, and the changes of the last few weeks have made me stronger both in resolve and in purpose. But the fact I've never told anybody my five year fear, tells me it holds a much tighter grip over me than I ever realized before.
I'm probably going to be on the forums for maybe another half-hour, to take care of thread subscriptions, say my goodbyes, or whatever else I can think of. But I wanted to let you all know that the pure terror I feel at the very thought I might have offended someone through any post, has really taken its toll on my ability to write effectively, create effectively, or even read a novel with the same fervor I did before I came to the boards.
So I'm *trying* to get off AW. I hope I can leave these boards with some amount of perseverance. I *know* I can leave AW with a deep sense of gratitude to the people, past and present, who have helped me to grow out of a sense of pure despair when PA still had the rights to my book, and into a sense of greater independence and strength as a human being. I am thankful that though it was a royal airhead that guided me here, I still came when I realized what my so-called publisher really was.
I am glad to have learned from, conversed with, and made lasting friends of, a great many of the members of AbsoluteWrite. I do hope that someday I can come back with a renewed sense of freedom as I write each post. But in the meantime, I'm happy to have been a part of this, one of the best writing websites in the world.
I hope to see you all around the 'Net, or at the very least to see your books all over the bookstore shelves.
--Sean
