Is history and the past a help or a hindrance?

Your topic is perfectly fine for this forum. I'd suggest changing the title, though, so it gives people a better idea of what this discussion entails.

You won't be able to change the title yourself, but I can do it for you if you'd like.

I believe it's possible (not necessarily probable) that we can 'let the past go' without forgetting the lessons it's taught us.

Greenify13 said:

That would be fine, I just wasn't sure. You may name it whatever you deem appropriate if you would care to!

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I'll come up with something, but I can't guarantee it won't be inappropriate!

Well, I didn't have to look far for a thread title and merely quoted the second line in your original post.

That's a fine title, by the way. Wish I had written it myself.

I think the fact that you're concerned says something about you. Being a person who is haunted severely from her past, I have to be careful on how deeply I let my past shape me. I don't think one can ever let go the past but it is possible to open another chapter of your "new" life. People change all the time. We are ultimately responsible for the path we choose to go down. I feel like it comes down to finding a balance. A balanced person is always on the right path. If you don't like what has been "written" this far in your life, then start the story over. Though your past life won't be "deleted" at least you've decided to find a balance or a better way.

You could say, that used to be me then but this is me now. Old tapes will always run, but they sound the loudest when you're the lowest. Get back up quickly.

Best of wishes!

It's funny that someone brings this up since I myself seem to be doing a lot of reminiscing lately. I don't know if it's just self justification but it seems mostly harmless if you don't act on it or get depressed about what you perceived as opportunities lost. It can definitely be inspirational though.

A friend I had long ago said they were going to be a writer and write a novel. It was their conviction even back then that made me remember what they said and wonder if they ever did write their story. Guess what? They did write that novel. I found it and then that person contributes here, leading me to AW. Now I'm inspired to write my own stories. Is this a mistake? Maybe. Definitely if I act on almost 30 year old half remembered feelings and memories.

My advice is not to do anything rash with old data. Reassess the situation. If you're too close to the problem get oppinions of trusted friends or professionals if need be. Any decision like this is a balancing act between past, present and future. Everything is connected.

I'm thinking people have to be a little more tolerant of their mistakes and the mistakes of others.

The past is usually neither a help nor a hindrance. It simply was what it was. What helps or hinders you are the actions you take in the present moment, which may partly be in response to what happened in the past, but which are not dictated by it.

For example:

Let's say your past contains abuse of some sort.

You have some options in the present that might be influenced by that past:

1) You could become bitter and hateful. You could be afraid of everybody who is in any way like your abuser.

or

2) You could take it out on somebody smaller and weaker than yourself, and become an abuser in turn.

or

2) You could become a stronger person, willing to reach out and help others who have suffered as you have. You could become smarter, more able to see the tell-tale signs that indicate abuse is a possibility in a certain relationship.

The first two reactions are hindrances to your growth, and the third is helpful. The abuse itself, while being a bad thing to happen, is essentially neutral as far as being a help or a hindrance to your future well-being.

The same goes on a larger scale--what happens in the present may be a reaction to past events, but it's only one possible reaction amongst a number of them, and is therefore not really dictated by past events.

I think you're essentially right in saying that you have to forgive and move on. But forgiving isn't just saying, "Oh, it's okay now. Forgiven and forgotten." Real forgiving happens when there isn't forgetting, but learning from what happened and striving to do better.

Good points, Yeshanu; several have been made here. Learning from the past is one thing, living in it is another. If we live in the past we are subject to its hold over us. Things happen, good and bad, to all, but it's what we do with those experiences that shape us. Each day is a new beginning, but only if we choose for it to be so. We are the products of our past but we don't have to let the past govern our lives, nor should we. Life is one huge filter. If we allow the negatives of life to dominate our thinking, our lives become negative because we've allowed that mind-set to dictate our reactions. Ultimately we are who we think we are. Thought, like words, can heal or destroy, it's what we allow to filter through to today that shapes who we are.