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View Full Version : Bartenders - Ah needz ur helpz.



thethinker42
01-09-2009, 08:07 AM
A few questions for the barkeeps among us...I'm familiar with mixing drinks, etc., (that bartending course a few years ago had its benefits...), but have a few other questions:

They say that what someone drinks says a lot about them. I've read the various theories on this circulating the web, but based on your experience, what do certain drinks say about people?
If someone comes up and just orders a margarita, nothing specific, do you ask anything further (i.e., if they want Top Shelf, blended vs neat, etc)?
Why the hell does every freaking bar and restaurant I set foot in lack either Sloe Gin or Southern Comfort when I want a damned Slow Comfortable Screw Against The Wall? WTF??(Okay...so #3 isn't actually related to my WIP...but damn...WTF? Though mad props to the bartender who, without missing a beat, said "We're out of Sloe Gin, but I can still give you a Comfortable Screw Against The Wall"...)

She_wulf
01-09-2009, 08:30 AM
They say that what someone drinks says a lot about them. I've read the various theories on this circulating the web, but based on your experience, what do certain drinks say about people?

The harder the alcohol, the more "serious" the drinker. Example: A girl requests a Jack and coke, and the girl beside her requests a slow screw. The first woman is more likely to have a "mission" (other than picking up a one night stand) than the second.

Party girl = Appletinis
Drunk = Wild Turkey straight up.

Young 'in/working class drinker = Jack Daniels
Professional type/older drinker = Maker's Mark

Granted, these are sweeping over-generalizations. Take with salt and tequila. (I prefer Sauza over Cuervo, because it just tastes better. I haven't become a snob and "only" drink Patron.)

If someone comes up and just orders a margarita, nothing specific, do you ask anything further (i.e., if they want Top Shelf, blended vs neat, etc)?

Usually, margarita drinkers who have preferences will TELL you what they want, but in my experience, the bartender asks for details.

Why the hell does every freaking bar and restaurant I set foot in lack either Sloe Gin or Southern Comfort when I want a damned Slow Comfortable Screw Against The Wall? WTF??
...Because you drank them dry the night before, or don't you remember? (jk :) )

mscelina
01-09-2009, 08:55 AM
A few questions for the barkeeps among us...I'm familiar with mixing drinks, etc., (that bartending course a few years ago had its benefits...), but have a few other questions:

They say that what someone drinks says a lot about them. I've read the various theories on this circulating the web, but based on your experience, what do certain drinks say about people?Nothing. If people are drinking socially, they drink at a moderate pace. People who want to get drunk are the ones ordering rounds and drinking shots. A guy who comes in alone and orders a beer with a shot of Jack/Jim/Jose/Jager and tells you to keep 'em coming just broke up with his girl or lost his job. For the most part, though, drinkers are creatures of habits. If I knew a customer, I knew what they would drink, how much they would drink and what their limit was.

Oh, except for blender drinks. Those people existed only to piss me off or make me 'accidentally' break the blender again. They don't want to taste the alcohol, so they hide it in a slushee.

If someone comes up and just orders a margarita, nothing specific, do you ask anything further (i.e., if they want Top Shelf, blended vs neat, etc)?I ask everything in the following order:

Cuervo or Patron? *(a good bartender NEVER offers well)
Salt or no salt?
Do you want the best margarita in Ohio or just a normal one?
(they always went for the best one--and always agreed that it was)

Why the hell does every freaking bar and restaurant I set foot in lack either Sloe Gin or Southern Comfort when I want a damned Slow Comfortable Screw Against The Wall? WTF??Because Sloe Gin is out of fashion and very few people drink SoCo on purpose. Save for a Slow Comfortable Screw and a Snakebite, there's really no other major drink So Co is used for. It's not like anyone would want to drink it on the rocks. *shudders*
(Okay...so #3 isn't actually related to my WIP...but damn...WTF? Though mad props to the bartender who, without missing a beat, said "We're out of Sloe Gin, but I can still give you a Comfortable Screw Against The Wall"...)

There. That help?

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 08:57 AM
Much thanks, both of you. :D Any info is helpful - I've got a male MC that's a bartender, so this will come in handy.

mscelina
01-09-2009, 09:03 AM
Should point out that no bartender willingly offers to make a frozen drink either, unless he works in a place that sells nothing but frozen drinks. Blender drinks take too long and time is money.

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 09:11 AM
Should point out that no bartender willingly offers to make a frozen drink either, unless he works in a place that sells nothing but frozen drinks. Blender drinks take too long and time is money.

That's one thing I remember from my class...LOL...they gave us all kinds of pointers on creative ways to explain that the blender was broken, stolen, possessed, missing, infested with ebola, etc. LOL

mscelina
01-09-2009, 09:13 AM
I used to just drop jiggers in them 'by accident.' Then I could lose two annoying bar tools at once.

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 09:17 AM
I used to just drop jiggers in them 'by accident.' Then I could lose two annoying bar tools at once.

LMAO How very efficient!!!

That's now the best use of a jigger I've ever heard of. Second best is throwing it at someone's head.

mscelina
01-09-2009, 09:35 AM
Nah. They aren't heavy enough for that.

The blenders are, though.

rugcat
01-09-2009, 09:40 AM
Because Sloe Gin is out of fashion and very few people drink SoCo on purpose. Save for a Slow Comfortable Screw and a Snakebite, there's really no other major drink So Co is used for. It's not like anyone would want to drink it on the rocks. *shudders*Janice Joplin drank Southern Comfort.

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 09:44 AM
Nah. They aren't heavy enough for that.

The blenders are, though.

True. But you've be amazed what a jigger can do with enough force behind it. Particularly if it's got an edge on it.


*resists urge to go back and add a jigger to the list of kitchenware thrown at my unfortunate male MC in a previous WIP...*

mscelina
01-09-2009, 09:51 AM
Yeah, a jigger wouldn't do enough damage to him to make you happy.

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 09:57 AM
Yeah, a jigger wouldn't do enough damage to him to make you happy.

Given what that poor boy goes through, I think the jigger would just be insult to injury.

The blender could be interesting...


*Lori's male main character runs screaming off the page and hides*

I should just start calling him my maimed character instead of main character.

katiemac
01-09-2009, 11:44 AM
For what it's worth, I like my margaritas on the rocks but I usually have to clarify so I don't get a frozen one. (Oddly enough I've been served enough frozen margaritas by mistake to contradict mscelina.) And I'm only ever asked if I want salt once I say it's on the rocks, never if they think I want frozen.

Annnd that's the extent of my liquor knowledge, and maybe most bartenders can tell, cause those are pretty much the only questions I ever get. ;)

mscelina
01-09-2009, 11:57 AM
Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who love frozen drinks. If a woman ordered a daiquiri from me, I would automatically assume she meant a frozen strawberry daiquiri and that's what I would make her instead of the original drink, which is rum, Rose's lime juice and sour mix on the rocks. The margarita is going the same way. Most bartenders will assume a woman wants a frozen margarita because, believe it or not, it's more difficult to taste the liquor in a slushee. If that particular bar sells mostly frozen margaritas, then that's going to be the bartender's first assumption and he/she might run with it.

Although why anyone would want to ruin perfectly good tequila with a bottled mix and crushed ice is beyond me.

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 11:59 AM
I once had a bartender give me a hard time after I ordered a Midori driver. It was just good-natured ribbing about "Oh c'mon, you drink THAT?" Then I said, "Zip it and make my drink, or I'll order a frozen daiquiri." He quickly said, "Midori driver, coming right up..."

mscelina
01-09-2009, 12:06 PM
LOL--so true, so true. I'd make anything to keep from firing up a blender. One of these days, I'll have to tell you about my punishment shot--the one I always made the asshats who thought I owed them a free shot because it was their birthday.

It was christened 'the German taco.' That should give you some fairly big clues as to how nasty it was.

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 12:16 PM
LOL--so true, so true. I'd make anything to keep from firing up a blender. One of these days, I'll have to tell you about my punishment shot--the one I always made the asshats who thought I owed them a free shot because it was their birthday.

It was christened 'the German taco.' That should give you some fairly big clues as to how nasty it was.

Okay, spill it. I demand to know what's in it. I think I have a pretty good idea...but TELL.

*takes notes*

mscelina
01-09-2009, 12:18 PM
*grin*

I shall never tell. It is my secret weapon against the thirsty asshats of the world.

thethinker42
01-09-2009, 12:26 PM
*grin*

I shall never tell. It is my secret weapon against the thirsty asshats of the world.

But...but...I sometimes bartend parties for drunk and obnoxious Marines and sailors.

I think I deserve to have this weapon in my repertoire. There's only so many people you can convince to almost chip a tooth on an Irish Car Bomb before they catch on and stop falling for it.

She_wulf
01-09-2009, 06:12 PM
For what it's worth, I like my margaritas on the rocks but I usually have to clarify so I don't get a frozen one. (Oddly enough I've been served enough frozen margaritas by mistake to contradict mscelina.) And I'm only ever asked if I want salt once I say it's on the rocks, never if they think I want frozen...
Ditto here. I like mine "traditional" not blended, frozen, etc.


Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who love frozen drinks. If a woman ordered a daiquiri from me, I would automatically assume she meant a frozen strawberry daiquiri and that's what I would make her instead of the original drink...
Same way when I used to drink Jack and Coke and whatever guy I was dating drank rum and coke. I'd make him taste test the two drinks to insure I didn't end up with the rum and coke. (9 outta 10 times, the tarbender would put the rum in front of me.) I'd tell them I was "allergic" to rum in order to get away with not drinking it.

...Although why anyone would want to ruin perfectly good tequila with a bottled mix and crushed ice is beyond me.
Word!

...It was christened 'the German taco.' That should give you some fairly big clues as to how nasty it was.
RumpleMintz and Cuervo with tabasco?

:)

or

Apple schaaps, tabasco, and Cuervo? (wouldn't want to waste the good stuff in it now would we?...)


:D

mscelina
01-09-2009, 06:14 PM
Worse, She wulf. Much, much worse. My German Taco turned a big man green and had him worshipping the porcelain god within three minutes.

Bubastes
01-09-2009, 06:21 PM
Frozen margaritas? :shudders: What a waste of tequila.

dirtsider
01-09-2009, 08:44 PM
lol - thanks, folks! My two main characters are both bartenders (they work together) and I do have someone helping me with the bartending details (really good stuff). But this also helps me a lot.

Bubastes
01-09-2009, 08:54 PM
LOL--so true, so true. I'd make anything to keep from firing up a blender. One of these days, I'll have to tell you about my punishment shot--the one I always made the asshats who thought I owed them a free shot because it was their birthday.

It was christened 'the German taco.' That should give you some fairly big clues as to how nasty it was.

Great, now I'm curious too. The first thing that came to mind was Jaegermeister and tequila.

BarbaraKE
01-09-2009, 11:50 PM
Great, now I'm curious too. The first thing that came to mind was Jaegermeister and tequila.

Ugh! Just thinking about that makes me sick.

Haggis
01-09-2009, 11:57 PM
Great, now I'm curious too. The first thing that came to mind was Jaegermeister and tequila.

That or schnapps and tequila. But either of these would be enough to make me puke.