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fanterin
01-07-2009, 11:16 PM
Hello all! I am currently writing a book for dads that has the "100 most faqs for dads with children ages 0-2". If anyone has any questions that dad might have during that time then fire away. 100 is a lot, so I am still in need. They can be funny - When can I toss my baby in the air? or serious - How do I take a rectal temperature.
I would love any input.
Thanks!

Cyia
01-07-2009, 11:24 PM
COnsidering how often it happens -

How do I change a diaper without the kid peeing in my face?

Stew21
01-07-2009, 11:34 PM
COnsidering how often it happens -

How do I change a diaper without the kid peeing in my face?


You keep a warm damp washcloth with you when you change him. As soon as the diaper comes off, the washcloth goes on until he's covered again by the diaper. It helps to be lightning fast with that clean diaper too!

Otherwise, hope you have fast reflexes, get out of the way and wait for it to stop.

:)

cbenoi1
01-08-2009, 12:47 AM
'NO'. When does it really mean 'yes' ? (does it? ever?)
Toddler balistics. How do you know your budgie is safe from thrown objects.
VCR repair how-to guide. For when the kid loads in sausages and presses 'Fast Forward'.
Home decoration. how to match your interiors with your cussion-padded stairwells.
Below-the-sink Chemistry 101. You know what I mean.
Noise absence detection techniques. Silence is a dangerous realm.
Pots, Pans, and other music instruments. With orchestration techniques for twins, triplets, etc.


-cb

Heath
01-08-2009, 01:10 AM
There is a similar book on the market called "What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding" that might be helpful. I'm on my fourth child and the oldest of 7 children, so I've seen it all.

psaluka
01-08-2009, 03:47 AM
'NO'. When does it really mean 'yes' ? (does it? ever?)
Toddler balistics. How do you know your budgie is safe from thrown objects.
VCR repair how-to guide. For when the kid loads in sausages and presses 'Fast Forward'.
Home decoration. how to match your interiors with your cussion-padded stairwells.
Below-the-sink Chemistry 101. You know what I mean.
Noise absence detection techniques. Silence is a dangerous realm.
Pots, Pans, and other music instruments. With orchestration techniques for twins, triplets, etc.


-cb

LOL-my three and a half year old jammed a Wallace and Grommit video into the VCR months ago...It's never coming out. Last August he commited genocide in the fish tank-under Daddy's watch...

How about how to find a happy place when the poo hits the fan? Relaxation and reaction management?

johnnycannuk
01-08-2009, 07:45 AM
How about

"Just how long will it be before you will be able to eat dijon mustard again?"

"Does it really smell like butter?"

and other poop related questions

(answers: never and yes)

Mike the Dad of 3

Fingers
01-08-2009, 08:27 AM
What to do when your child learns how to ask 'why?'. (answer: aside from going insane? just keep telling em why.)

yer pal Brian

heyjude
01-08-2009, 05:53 PM
My DH's *very first* question was "Are we happy about this?"

johnnycannuk
01-08-2009, 10:09 PM
My DH's *very first* question was "Are we happy about this?"

hey, I ask my wife that at least once per week, and our oldest is 9...

underthecity
01-08-2009, 11:09 PM
There is a similar book on the market called "What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding" that might be helpful.
I wasn't too impressed with that one. I read part of it and found its tounge-in-cheek style a bit too off-putting. My wife gave me The Everything Father to Be Book (http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Father-Be-Book-Survival/dp/1580629741/) and I like its frankness. I've been learning a lot from it, and it's helping me get ready for the baby that's coming in less than two months.

I don't know how helpful a 100 FAQ book would be considering there are about a thousand FAQs I'm still learning about as I talk to other dads, including the time one had to take his toddler to the hospital because she got a nickel and penny stuck in her throat. There are some things you just can't learn from a book, I think. I don't know; I'm not a father yet.

allen

Greenwolf103
01-09-2009, 12:52 AM
"How much are we supposed to feed her?"

"How long is he supposed to take a nap?"

"Shouldn't he be walking by now?"

I will note that usually the "supposeds" just don't cut it. Not every guideline for babies is one-size-fits-all. A lot of times, you'll need to go with your gut on things, depending on the baby's development stage and how the baby reacts to certain factors.

Yeshanu
01-09-2009, 02:17 AM
I don't know how helpful a 100 FAQ book would be considering there are about a thousand FAQs I'm still learning about as I talk to other dads, including the time one had to take his toddler to the hospital because she got a nickel and penny stuck in her throat. There are some things you just can't learn from a book, I think. I don't know; I'm not a father yet.

allen

What do I do when my toddler is choking, and how do I prevent it from happening?

fanterin
01-10-2009, 12:09 AM
Thank you for all of the great questions! I will be using lots of them - especially the VCR one I never thougt of. Keep them coming!

fanterin
01-14-2009, 09:01 PM
Bump!
Only 4 more questions to go so if anyone has any questions asked by dads with kids ages 0-2 throw them my way!
Thank you so much!

Mike Martyn
01-14-2009, 10:54 PM
Question: What is the most efficient way to bathe the baby in the morning?

Answer: Mom whips off baby's diaper and hands baby to Dad who is having his morning shower. Dad sluices baby off, hands back to mom then Dad sluices Dad off. Disgusting but efficient.

Question : How do Mom and Dad get twenty minutes alone time during the middle of the day with two toddlers awake?

Answer: Throw the contents of one box of Smarties all over the kitchen floor. Note: this is not an efficient strategy if you have a dog.


My wife and I have 4 kids. by the time you're on you're 4th, you become both desperate and inventive!

MelancholyMan
01-14-2009, 11:37 PM
How about:

Why did I agree to this?

cbenoi1
01-15-2009, 01:41 AM
Two more, just on the top of my head:

Negotiation Bias (or What To Do When Arithmetics Work Against You): Four kids, two Nintendo DS, and a single-gamepad Wii. Go figure...

Bath Toys: Hint - the 'big brown shark' ain't one of 'em.

-cb