View Full Version : Finding it difficult to write now...

01-07-2009, 09:17 PM
Long story short, my girlfriend of three years betrayed me and planned to hop a plane with a co-worker to Canada for a week and lied to me about it.

I got a really good story out of my situation, but I can't bring myself to write. I thought writing would help me to move on, but I just can't seem to focus on it. All I am thinking about is what she did to me.


01-07-2009, 09:19 PM

It may be that you're still too close to the story, and will be able to write it later. For now, perhaps if you just ranted on the page and got the details and feelings down, it would be enough. So rant away.

More hugs.

01-07-2009, 09:22 PM
I agree with Yeshanu. Just write out how and what you're feeling. Don't try to make it into a story. That can come later. Getting your thoughts and feelings onto paper will help you to put things in perspective and cope. The pain will still be there. But pouring your heart onto the paper should help in some way.

01-07-2009, 09:24 PM
I agree with others who say you need distance to be able to write this as a fictional story. For now, try journaling.

That, or a hitman.

01-07-2009, 09:30 PM
Heh. It's funny you should say that. I wrote the beginning of the scene where my MC shows up at the house of his girlfriend's lover and beats him into a bloody pulp then drives off. It was sort of a rant and journal style, but I managed to edit it into a slight semblance of a story.

The next half is proving more difficult, but it will be even more theraputic because I have some great things planned for the cheating snake, she-devil of a #$@* stupid, little #@%&* no good, two-timing %$#*!



Thanks for the ideas. I've never been in a mood where I absolutely couldn't focus on writing, besides procrastination. But it's always helped me through everything.

01-07-2009, 09:32 PM
I don't know whether to advise you to watch Secret Window or not...

01-07-2009, 09:35 PM
Sorry about what happened.

I always find I write best under pain.

That's why I'm married.

01-07-2009, 09:36 PM
I don't know whether to advise you to watch Secret Window or not...

Oh man. I've always wanted to garden, too... :D

01-07-2009, 09:37 PM
Thanks Ferret!


Kate Thornton
01-07-2009, 10:25 PM
Cybernaught, what she did, she did to herself, not to you.

How you cope is what you do to yourself - I first started writing mystery/crime stories out of a need for some pretty murderous revenge. Once I got all the research done ("What angle & weight do you need to pierce a skull with a Waterford sailboat paperweight?") I felt better. Once I wrote the story I felt even better. Once I sold the story, I felt great and totally forgot about the jerk who caused me to write it in the first place.

It was, by the way, my first mystery sale. I can't even remember his name, but I remember that first check!

So yes, write it up. Then make it work for you - and forget her, or at least forget the parts of the situation that hurt you. Others will love you, more than you can even know. Look forward to the happiness in store for you, and be sure you're there to answer the door when it comes knocking.

01-07-2009, 10:39 PM
Thanks Kate, and what a great story. Not about the low-life scum who hurt you, but that you turned a grim situation into a rewarding one.

And thanks for the words of support. I'm going to just force myself to write this story today, and if not then at least I'll get my feelings out.

Thanks again.

01-08-2009, 12:51 AM

I took literary revenge on my own two-timing ex-jerk by turning him into a character in one of my stories. It hasn't sold yet, but boy, did it feel good writing it. (Didn't kill him off, but he still got his comeuppance.)

BTW, I think that's how Sue Grafton got her start, too.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
01-08-2009, 03:33 AM
Look at the good news: You found out. At least she won't ever do it to you again.

01-08-2009, 04:02 AM
Remember, journal OR a hitman, not both!

I agree with others who say you need distance to be able to write this as a fictional story. For now, try journaling.

That, or a hitman.

01-08-2009, 04:10 AM
I got swindled while doing on-site research for an article and then incorporated the swindling into the piece, which sold. To be honest, though, it wasn't the best article I'd written. Rather than focusing on the topic, misplaced anger wound up giving the piece a stiff feel. And you know, I did not feel better, afterwards. The only thing that would have done that would have been to see the swindler swinging. // Sorry to hear about your own experience. You seem like a nice chap, from your posts here.

01-08-2009, 09:23 AM
I'd go with whichever on the writing, I journaled then burned the journal. In the meantime, well this helped me - I had a yard sale and sold everything that wasn't living that was his. I kept the cats, I figured he owed me that much and they deserved better than him.


01-11-2009, 07:52 PM
I kept the cats, I figured he owed me that much and they deserved better than him.

I said the same thing about the dog.

01-11-2009, 08:39 PM
First, so sorry for what happened. It sucks.

I guess I'd say to take a different tack (no surprise, right?). Everyone is different in dealing with situations like this, but maybe you need to do something just for you--something that doesn't center on her in any way. Put off the revenge (real or in writing) because that keeps you centered on her and what happened. If you start doing things now that center on you instead of her, you may find you can ease her out of your emotional life and into your historical one. The sooner she becomes a source of memories (good and bad) instead of someone who influences and modifies your current activities, the better. As for writing, don't force it, but yield to it when you feel so moved or when you are in need of getting something down on paper.

Ultimately, this is her loss, not yours. She has shown what kind of person she is and I would think you'd want to distance yourself from her because of it. You may even be relieved you found this out now. Let that relief push through your sadness and your sense of betrayal.

01-11-2009, 09:00 PM
Thanks, Neuro. Wise words.