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Mr Flibble
12-31-2008, 12:42 AM
Your parents taught you?

It came up today, and I find it a fascinating question. I think many of us don't really appreciate what our parents gave us, vis a vis our views on life and how we handle it.


For me , my Dad taught me that worrying doesn't help much unless it actually achieves something ( like a solution). If there is nothing you can do, you just waste energy worrying about it. If someone upsets / lies / betrays you, why waste energy bothering with them again? He also taught me loads about nature etc. But he taught me to be chilled about stuff. A valuable lesson, and one that's really helped.

My mum's gift ( and granted we haven't always seen eye to eye on a lot of stuff) is this:

Never judge by how someone looks
Never judge by how someone dresses
Never judge by how someone talks
Never judge by what someone does for a living
Never judge because someone is of a different class ( this used to be big in the UK, less so now)
Never judge by anything except one thing.

Judge by who/ how someone is.

You?

sadron
12-31-2008, 01:01 AM
Think before act.
Important things first.

williemeikle
12-31-2008, 01:03 AM
My dad taught me to respect people that have earned it.

My mum taught me to laugh at the absurdity of life.

And watching the two of them together taught me how to make a marriage work. (I got it right the second time of asking.)

Mr Flibble
12-31-2008, 01:05 AM
And watching the two of them together taught me how to make a marriage work. (I got it right the second time of asking.)

Watching mine gave a blueprint of how not to be married and still be married...if that makes sense?

I too got it right second time round.

Seaclusion
12-31-2008, 01:05 AM
Honesty and fairness.

Richard

maestrowork
12-31-2008, 01:07 AM
Always have hope.

Love is the most important thing. Family first.

Live well, be happy, and be kind to others.

CaroGirl
12-31-2008, 01:08 AM
Good:

A strong work ethic.

Bad:

Impatience & intolerance, both of which I struggle to overcome. Thanks Dad.

dianeP
12-31-2008, 01:20 AM
Respect for others.

Finding happiness in the little things in life.

nevada
12-31-2008, 01:24 AM
Good: Tolerance

Bad: My mother taught me that no matter the accomplishment it means nothing unless you're skinny. Being fat negates all the good things in your life and makes you a worthless person. me: OMG I just sold my first story. They gave me money for it. she: Wouldn't it be great if you lost some weight.

She's 67 and she still, in the middle of conversations, will ask "are you gaining weight?"

Mr Flibble
12-31-2008, 01:31 AM
Bad: My mother taught me that no matter the accomplishment it means nothing unless you're skinny. Being fat negates all the good things in your life and makes you a worthless person. me: OMG I just sold my first story. They gave me money for it. she: Wouldn't it be great if you lost some weight.

Well assuming you aren't morbidly obese or anything...Say lalalalalala a lot internally.



My mum has spent *cough* years trying to get me to stop wearing my leather ( what will the neighbours think!) even though she doesn't mind guys wearing them. I just smile and say 'yep, sometime soon.'


'They F you up your mum and dad, they don't mean to but they do...'

However, no matter how f'd up, they do teach you good stuff. It's important I think to occasionally remember what they did right rather than dwell on what they did wrong ( Dad again) And they are only people too. Strange as that may seem when you are growing up and think they know all the answers

I worry for my kids. I really do.

Cranky
12-31-2008, 01:34 AM
Work ethic
Tolerance for others
Never buy on credit if you can help it
Manners
Generosity
And from my mother especially, I got my life-long love of reading.

jennifer75
12-31-2008, 01:43 AM
It came up today, and I find it a fascinating question. I think many of us don't really appreciate what our parents gave us, vis a vis our views on life and how we handle it.


You?

My parents didn't teach me as much as they made me. They led by example. The good and the not so good things. I am what they made me, and then some. If I had to write down the things I know and do because of their teachings, I'd have a blank sheet of paper. If I had to write a story about why I do what I do, that's different.

Did that make any sense?

Mr Flibble
12-31-2008, 01:47 AM
Did that make any sense?

Oh yes. My parents didn't sit me down and say....they just were and I learned from them, good or bad.

Atani
12-31-2008, 02:40 AM
I've learned many, many things from my parents' example, but what comes to mind now is:

SAVE MONEY. Never spend without good reason.

Stay away from debt (never get in over your head)

Think for yourself - question everything, especially well known "truths"

A solid marriage is built on a base of friendship as well as love

...there's just so much - I was very lucky to have awesome parents, though I only realized it after I got married & had kids myself.

MoonWriter
12-31-2008, 02:40 AM
From my father: a love for my religion, a devotion to my family, an appreciation for nature, and a good work ethic.

From my mother: quiet service to others, humility, lofty goals without hard work leads to disappointment, and, totally unrelated, how to cook.

scarletpeaches
12-31-2008, 04:18 AM
Given that I never knew my father, the most important thing I learned from all one of my natural parents was exactly the sort of person I don't want to be.

Not that she taught me this per se, but I learned it from her anyway.

And from my stepdad...um...how to shoot with a longbow, play chess (badly) and how to burp like a mofo.

William Haskins
12-31-2008, 04:20 AM
dad: "when i tell you to hold my beer, hold my fuckin' beer."
mom: "for chrissakes, hold the man's beer!"

robeiae
12-31-2008, 05:08 AM
How to balance a checkbook.

You laugh...

Fenika
12-31-2008, 05:12 AM
Never judge by how someone looks
Never judge by how someone dresses
Never judge by how someone talks
Never judge by what someone does for a living
Never judge because someone is of a different class ( this used to be big in the UK, less so now)
Never judge by anything except one thing.


You know, my father taught me this by example. Bad example.

I'm afraid his attitude surfaces in me when I'm in a bad mindset. But then I remember my dad and fight it back.

(hopes no one I know stalks me here)

emandem
12-31-2008, 05:46 AM
Hmmm...

My dad: He told me there are two ways of doing everything: the right way, and every other way. Do things the right way.

My mom: Sacrificial love.

I was lucky...
I guess there were also some bad examples, but I eventually learned to throw these away. Everyone is human, and dwelling on these things did not make me any better of a person.

2old2pb
12-31-2008, 06:05 AM
....to never turn my back to them while they're "talking" to me.

Ken
12-31-2008, 06:12 AM
...parents taught me to be normal. I flunked :-(

Jersey Chick
12-31-2008, 06:16 AM
Never let someone you love leave angry.

Think before you speak because you can never take back words that have been said - especially words said in anger.


anger seems to be a big thing, now that I think about it. Hmmm....:rolleyes:

She_wulf
12-31-2008, 06:32 AM
righty tighty, leftie loosey...

Seriously. Dad taught me at an early age how to wield objects like a screwdriver, hammer, and saw. I even know why you need more than one type of screwdriver, what they are used for (not prying the can of peaches open, although it works) and their names.

Now both of my daughters know the difference between a Standard and a Phillips screwdriver. They're still confused when it comes to torque drivers and hex wrenches though.

Amy

benbradley
12-31-2008, 07:35 AM
Your parents taught you?

It came up today, and I find it a fascinating question. I think many of us don't really appreciate what our parents gave us, vis a vis our views on life and how we handle it.
Saving my response for my memoir...

benbradley
12-31-2008, 07:38 AM
dad: "when i tell you to hold my beer, hold my fuckin' beer."
mom: "for chrissakes, hold the man's beer!"
Didn't I meet you in a CODA meeting? Or was it Al-Anon Adult Child?

NeuroFizz
12-31-2008, 07:55 AM
Together: Different is not synonymous with bad.

From Dad: You're not done until she's done.

From Mom: Do as your Dad says, not as he does.


Probably one of the most important distinctions they taught me was the difference between being stupid and doing something stupid. I did lots of the latter, but they never told me I was dumb or stupid. But they sure as hell let me know when I did something stupid. It's a cool (and essential) distinction because I still do lots of stupid things.

Serenity
12-31-2008, 08:14 AM
My dad taught me it's cool to watch old movies late at night while munching on a bologna sandwich. He taught me that Monty Python rules. He taught me to think on my feet and have a witty come back.

My mom tried to teach me to drink tea and have a dog: I now have a cat and I'm addicted to coffee. She taught me that I will have her as a friend and a mom forever.

They both taught me-- by example-- that no matter what life throws at you, there's a way through it, but you have to find it. No one will find it for you.

And always, ALWAYS be there for those you love and for those who love you.

kristie911
12-31-2008, 09:27 AM
How to take care of my finances and balance my checkbook. Thank you, Dad, because of you I have an 816 credit rating. ;)

And to never be afraid to ask for help. (I'm still working on that...it's hard for me)

quickWit
12-31-2008, 05:50 PM
Mom: Laughter is the key to a good life.

Dad: Combovers don't fool anyone.

Shadow_Ferret
12-31-2008, 06:11 PM
Wow. You guys all had wonderful and insightful parents.

Me? I can't think of one darned thing they taught me.

I learned everything from books. Or on the streets. Or in the back alley. Or in the back seat.