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View Full Version : I could use some good thoughts...(This might be better in TIO)



Project nachonaco
12-24-2008, 10:40 PM
I just REALLY really hate my life right now.

I didn't do so well my first semester of college (I have a 1.4) and my parents aren't letting me go back to school. This means I get kicked off of insurance.

Add in the fact that I'm currently taking a prescription med that will cost over $100 without insurance. I told my mom if I got kicked off of insurance then I would drop the medicine. I make about $100 a week, so there's no way in heck I can pay for it.

Also, there's no telling if and when my shunt'll break down again. If it does, I'm definitely screwed.

I just really, really hate my life. Might as well get in line. A lot of other people hate me too.

dancingandflying
12-24-2008, 10:49 PM
Project -

I'm so sorry; that is awful. However, I'm sending good-thoughts-rep-points-good-karma-rainbow prayer-things your way. I hope everything gets better soon -everyone needs you here!

d&f.

Calla Lily
12-24-2008, 10:55 PM
{{{}}} Praying for you, nachonaco.

tinselcleo
12-24-2008, 10:59 PM
Oh I am so sorry!
I did the same thing when I first went to college. And it's taken me 15 years to get back to it, BUT I have finally found what I want to do and all the experiences that have led me to where I am now have made me an infinately better human being. Don't worry about going back right now....it will come.
Maybe you'll find a decent job after the new year and insurance for a younger person does not cost as much as you think it might. There are some good plans out there that run around $75/month.
Good luck!! Keep positive thoughts coming your way :)

Sophia
12-24-2008, 11:02 PM
I'm so sorry you're having such a terrible time. You have all my good thoughts. You will get past this, even though it feels overwhelming now. Is there any way you can temporarily take a break from college, rather than have to leave? It may be that if you have a chance to take a breath and sort your finances out first, you might be able to talk to your parents and show them that you are serious about college, and address their particular concerns.

Please take care of yourself. You sound stressed and perhaps depressed (understandably), and health problems on top of that must make everything seem very dark. Even if you do have to leave college for now, that may not mean that you can't return later. Many hugs, from someone who doesn't hate you!

Project nachonaco
12-24-2008, 11:05 PM
Thanks everyone.

Right now the game plan is to finish my novel (with all this free time, it'd be easier), work 40 hrs a week, keep my dates to the weekends, and then get published.

regdog
12-25-2008, 12:24 AM
:Hug2: and keep your chin up. Maybe if you work for awhile you can take a few classes and get back to school. Good luck with your writing.

Cassiopeia
12-25-2008, 12:33 AM
I just REALLY really hate my life right now.

I didn't do so well my first semester of college (I have a 1.4) and my parents aren't letting me go back to school. This means I get kicked off of insurance. Ha! You did better than I did my first semester, I ended up with a 1.0388888. Guess what it is now? 3.87.

What is their reasoning? Most first year college students have an adjustment and need a chance to settle in.


Add in the fact that I'm currently taking a prescription med that will cost over $100 without insurance. I told my mom if I got kicked off of insurance then I would drop the medicine. I make about $100 a week, so there's no way in heck I can pay for it.

Also, there's no telling if and when my shunt'll break down again. If it does, I'm definitely screwed.

I just really, really hate my life. Might as well get in line. A lot of other people hate me too. Why do you have a shunt?

Hating your life and hating yourself won't help you overcome this. Don't let this discourage you to the point of quitting. Take it on the chin and get up. I know you can do it.

Project nachonaco
12-25-2008, 12:37 AM
Ha! You did better than I did my first semester, I ended up with a 1.0388888. Guess what it is now? 3.87.

What is their reasoning? Most first year college students have an adjustment and need a chance to settle in.

Why do you have a shunt?

Hating your life and hating yourself won't help you overcome this. Don't let this discourage you to the point of quitting. Take it on the chin and get up. I know you can do it.

Their reasoning is "They're not going to pay $6,000 a year to watch me f**k up."

And I have a shunt because I have hydrocephalus.

Haggis
12-25-2008, 12:55 AM
Their reasoning is "They're not going to pay $6,000 a year to watch me f**k up."


I hate to say it, but I wouldn't either.

Perhaps there's a community college near you where you can take a couple of classes. Once you figure out how it's done, it becomes a lot easier to get decent grades. Maybe then they'll reconsider.

In the meantime, why not try to find employment that will pay you more than $100 per week. That way you'll be able to afford your medication and at the same time will be showing your parents some maturity

Good luck to you.

Cassiopeia
12-25-2008, 01:37 AM
Their reasoning is "They're not going to pay $6,000 a year to watch me f**k up."

And I have a shunt because I have hydrocephalus.I know this is going to be a personal question but I'm asking it anyway.

Did you goof off? Attend all your lectures? Or did you just party and do half as well as you could?

If school means that much to you, get a grant and a student loan. My daughter had to do that after she threw away her tuition by using meth her second semester at school. She also destroyed the 2002 Honda Civic that I bought and paid for her for graduating from High School with high marks.

But meth brought her crashing down to reality. So if you aren't doing your part and just partying the night away, I agree with Haggis. BUT if you are doing your part then no, I don't agree.

However, you have it within your ability to pay for school on your own. My daughter is doing it and I'm doing it.

alleycat
12-25-2008, 01:44 AM
A lot of other people hate me too.
And a lot of people don't. I've liked you from the moment you took in that stray cat and begged to keep it.

;-)

smoothseas
12-25-2008, 02:00 AM
You've gotten lots of sound advice from the other posters. So, I'll just send along some cyber encouragement. Positive thoughts are with you.

Now, go hug your new furbaby. Listening to a cat purr always makes me feel better. Even if it is only momentarily, until they jump down off your lap and start chasing something only they can see.

Susie
12-25-2008, 02:16 AM
So sorry, Project. Will pray that they don't do that and hope that you feel better and I like you! ((((((HUGGLES)))))). Good vibes sent your way.

Project nachonaco
12-25-2008, 02:41 AM
I know this is going to be a personal question but I'm asking it anyway.

Did you goof off? Attend all your lectures? Or did you just party and do half as well as you could?

If school means that much to you, get a grant and a student loan. My daughter had to do that after she threw away her tuition by using meth her second semester at school. She also destroyed the 2002 Honda Civic that I bought and paid for her for graduating from High School with high marks.

But meth brought her crashing down to reality. So if you aren't doing your part and just partying the night away, I agree with Haggis. BUT if you are doing your part then no, I don't agree.

However, you have it within your ability to pay for school on your own. My daughter is doing it and I'm doing it.

Does caffeine count as a drug?

I just had trouble with one of my professors because she never updated blackboard so I didn't know what was due, etc, etc.

Will this prevent me from getting published?

Yeshanu
12-25-2008, 02:49 AM
Thanks everyone.

Right now the game plan is to finish my novel (with all this free time, it'd be easier), work 40 hrs a week, keep my dates to the weekends, and then get published.

Sounds like a plan. Go you! (Join us for a JanuWriMo...)

:Hug2:

I know it's hard to hear right now, but college is still a possibility in the future. I did one year as a teen, then quit to get married. When I went back as an adult, knowing what I wanted to do and having some experience in life, my marks were about twenty percent better.

Haggis' advice about a community college is wise. The jump from high school to university is a huge one, with community college being partway in between (at least in Canada it is), and it's cheaper as well. A couple of courses where you can succeed might make all the difference, both to your self-esteem and your parent's opinion of you.

You can do this thing called life.

And alleycat's right. Not everybody hates you, though it seems that way when you don't particularly like yourself.

Cassiopeia
12-25-2008, 02:54 AM
I did the same thing as Yeshanu. Sometimes its good to wait to go to college. BUT, let me say this, it's hard later on in life when you have a lot on your plate, like kids and a mortgage to pay.

No it won't affect you getting published.

I had three online classes this semester, the rule with using the blackboard is if you don't see what you need you email the professor. And you keep up. You lag behind and it isn't going to work.

Medievalist
12-25-2008, 03:28 AM
Nanochaco

Screwing up the freshman year happens to roughly 15% of all freshmen.

Can you get loans to go back part time? Maybe attend community college?

This is not a good time to count on publishing a novel.

Talk to the college; explain your situation, and your parents' feelings. See if the school can help.

It's a recipe for failure, for most freshmen just starting college after high school, to go to school and work more than 20 hours a week.

Seriously, talk to the school.

tjwriter
12-25-2008, 03:35 AM
Nacho,

It's surprising that you would have that much trouble. Cass is right about emailing your professors if they are updating the deadlines online. I know where you are going to school as we've discussed it, and I can say that they have one of easier transitions for high school to college. People there want you to succeed.

You can get loans. It's how I did it and yes, I'll be paying them back for some time, but I have a solid education for it.

Of course, what Yeshanu and Cass said about waiting a bit is also true. I thought I knew what I wanted and I was dead wrong. If I'd taken a few years between high school and college, I'd think I would have found a better fit for myself.

There is the local community college where you could go get an associates. If you go back for your bachelor's be aware that sometimes credits won't transfer.

MoonWriter
12-25-2008, 03:45 AM
You've been given some sound advice, Project. Remember to keep things in perspective. Some people have it much worse, like me, I'm about to go to my in-laws for Christmas dinner. :)

Good luck. I'll say a prayer that you have a great 2009 ... and beyond!

CACTUSWENDY
12-25-2008, 04:35 AM
You know....as an old lady now it will be easy for me to say this. When things have looked dark and my dreams evaporated from my view I too felt like you do now. BUT....around another corner or two, when you lest expect it, you will find that something will turn up that is better then you thought could ever be.

Do your best to not let this set you back too much. It is all part of the growing up part of our life. You will make it. Your cup is half full.

((((((((((((((((((YOU))))))))))))))))))))))))

astonwest
12-25-2008, 04:39 AM
It's a recipe for failure, for most freshmen just starting college after high school, to go to school and work more than 20 hours a week.
I'll vouch for this. My second and third year, I was attempting to work a 40-hour-a-week job and go to school. It was murder, my grades suffered, and things were looking pretty bleak.

I moved to a job on-campus that only worked around 20 or so, and things were tight financially, but the grades started improving immediately.

Hope things turn out well for you!

Haggis
12-25-2008, 05:52 AM
Nacho, I was in your shoes halfway through my sophomore year. 1.6 and fading fast. At the time I was working about 20 hours a week, but it wasn't work that screwed me up. It was not going to classes and not turning in assignments. After a three year hiatus, I went back, worked 40 hours per week (I had to) and did much better, even making the Dean's list once. As I recall, the Dean almost stroked out over it. My point is it can be done.

Part of it is growing up. Part of it is learning what is required of you. Part of it is actually going to classes and doing the work that's expected of you. And by the way, I'm not suggesting you do these things. I'm talking about me here. But if you do any of these things, take it to heart. In college they treat you as an adult. To succeed, you need to act like one.

Consider this an opportunity. A time for you to sit back and re-evaluate your priorities and decide what you need to do to achieve your goals. I applaud your desire for publication. I think that's something we all desire here. But I do know you can't count on it. Please make sure you have a back up plan. Education as a back up plan is never a bad idea.

Cassiopeia
12-25-2008, 06:29 AM
Nanochaco

Screwing up the freshman year happens to roughly 15% of all freshmen.

Can you get loans to go back part time? Maybe attend community college?

This is not a good time to count on publishing a novel.

Talk to the college; explain your situation, and your parents' feelings. See if the school can help.

It's a recipe for failure, for most freshmen just starting college after high school, to go to school and work more than 20 hours a week.

Seriously, talk to the school.I wish someone had explained that to me when I went to college. I got up every morning at 3:30 to be on campus by 4:00 (walked to campus in the Idaho winter) to clean toilets and mop up the ceramics building. I didn't even get to class until noon.

My roommates thought it hilarious to stay up till midnight so I ended up with Bronchitis three times that semester.

Sheryl Nantus
12-25-2008, 06:38 AM
don't look at being published as a cure to all your ails.

as anyone here can tell you it can take years for your book to get to the bookshelves and you sure don't get paid while you're waiting for the process.

get it together, work a deal with your parents and be realistic.

but don't put all your eggs into the publishing basket and hope that'll save you.

jmo, ymmv.

willfulone
12-25-2008, 06:39 AM
I won't address the college stuff. You have tons of great advice already on that. I WILL tell you to check into your state benefit program. It is NOT welfare. But, people who have lower incomes CAN get state medical benefits (even have to pay small premiums sometimes - but your wages exclude premium payments I believe) if they cannot afford or do not have a way to get company sponsored health insurance OR are rejected from other insurance carriers when they go to purchase privately for medical conditions that are pre-existing. My state allows for 2 denials before one becomes eligible for state medical benefits without premium payment. If you need help researching this in your state - PM me the specific state and I will find the links for you so you can get insurance at least.

Good luck on rest!

Christine

NeuroFizz
12-25-2008, 06:51 AM
I'll echo what everyone else has said, not to add anything new, but to underline that people here care about you. If your performance was due problems with your dedication to your studies, learn from your mistakes. That's the way you can turn this negative into a future positive. We all have our stories of personal screw-ups and times when we felt like we were losing control of our lives. You are not alone in that regard, and you are not alone in dealing with your current crises.

Project nachonaco
01-01-2009, 02:32 AM
Update!

My mom's letting me go back! :D

brad_b
01-01-2009, 04:47 AM
Project, I imagine everyone here at one time or another has had the feeling that life sucks, well, it does but its what we do with it that counts. There's always hope when you look for it, I know it's hard, been there. But it's not how many times life puts us down but how many times we get back up that matters. I know I'm speaking in platitudes, but it's the way life is. Things will get better. Give it time and do the best with what you have. You're in a lot of prayers here and that's a good thing.

brad_b
01-01-2009, 04:49 AM
I just read about you going back...see? Now knuckle down and do what you know you can do.

Project nachonaco
01-09-2009, 04:13 AM
Why do I let my hopes get up?

Why am I an optimist?

Yeshanu
01-09-2009, 05:06 AM
Why do I let my hopes get up?

Why am I an optimist?

?

Does that mean you're not going back after all, or you are but you've figured out that means that you've got a lot of work to do?

Either way, optimism beats eternal pessimism, IMO. Whatever your circumstances now, find a way to make them work for you. I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's not what happens to us that makes us successful or not successful. It's how we respond to what happens to us.

C'mon, Nachonaco! You CAN succeed at school and at life.

Project nachonaco
01-09-2009, 09:18 AM
Ooookay.....

I....have weird parents. o_O

They're letting me go back....

But of course they told me I wasn't, but I am....why must they change their mind so often? Not that i'm not grateful, just confused.

Yeshanu
01-09-2009, 10:20 AM
Okay, let me let you in on a little secret:

All parents are weird. :D And kids confuse the heck out of us, so we pay them back by confusing the heck out of them.

Anyhow, I'm glad you're going back. Do your best, and make the most of this chance. :Hug2:

Project nachonaco
01-09-2009, 10:22 AM
The good news is, because of placement testing epic wins, I tested into French 204.

This means, if I get a B or better, I get 3 times the credit hours for that class.

So then I'm only taking 11 'real' classes, or about 5 actual subjects. :)