What do you do?

Woof said:

Let's start with this one:

Click to expand...

You walk out of the grocery store and your car is gone. What do you do?

In both cases, I whip open my laptop, log onto AW stat, and make a quick post here asking what to do.


Like that--is this what you are looking for from us Woof?

I think you're supposed to give another question..... like I snap out of my open mouthed stare, whip open my laptop, log onto AW stat, and make a quick post here asking what to do.

....but your laptop wont turn on. What do you do?

I shine my flashlight into the night fog with its cardboard AW stencil insert, and someone comes to my immediate rescue, with a new laptop, publishing contracts for me to sign and even a new fountain pen.

But then you notice that a mod has altered your avatar--what do you do?

Woof said:

You are walking home late at night when you suddenly hear growling and heavy breathing behind you. What do you do?

Click to expand...

Spin quickly, put out my right foot, and laughs when he hits the cement.

Do you pay attention to his howls of distress, or do you just dust off your hands and walk away?

I do pay attention, and in fact I then ask the now dazed Haggis why he hasn't been posting much lately, and let him know the folks at AW miss him very much. Some folks miss him. One or two folks miss him.

But then you hear another, slightly different sound, and see a vampire lurking in the shadows. What do you do?

Meerkat said:

But then you hear another, slightly different sound, and see a vampire lurking in the shadows. What do you do?

Click to expand...

I tell the vampire that I donated all my blood at the blood bank yesterday, so he's wasting his time. And if he resembles Bela Lugosi (or Martin Landau playing Bela Lugosi), I ask for his autograph.

-------

You open a can of beans and find a bat's wing inside. What do you do?

I delight in the unexpected treasure-jerky, and go buy many more cans of that brand of beans in the hopes of collecting more.

You turn on your hairdryer and...snakes come out of it. (I couldn't think of anything!) What do you do?

You turn on your hairdryer and...snakes come out of it. (I couldn't think of anything!) What do you do?
With my right hand hold it behind my head allowing the snakes to entangle themselves in my hair and with my left hand grab my camera and take several pictures. Contact the National Enquirer and start negotiating....

You try your Aunt Martha's Fruit cake...and it is so good you want more! Your family is watching- what do you do?

You try your Aunt Martha's Fruit cake...and it is so good you want more! Your family is watching- what do you do?

I say, "Hey this is great! Does anyone else want a piece?" and when they all say eeeewwwww, I say, "Do you mind if I take the rest home?"



As you approach your work place, you see through the window that a person with a gun is pointing said gun at the office troublemaker. What do you do?

While smacking the devil on one of my shoulders to shut up while I cover my mouth to stop the "pull the trigger" yell, I'd listen to the angel on the other and call the police.

For the first time, you enter a local cafe' where all the locals hang out, and all the regulars stop talking and stare at you. What do you do?

Go up to the barrister and offer him a bribe to pretend to be a good friend of yours, and hope they all go back to their own cliquey little business.

Here's a rather awful one I found a while back, seeing as I'm awful at coming up with these questions on my own:

A pregnant woman leading a group of people out of a cave on a coast is stuck in the mouth of that cave. In a short time high tide will be upon them, and unless she is unstuck, they will all be drowned except the woman, whose head is out of the cave. Fortunately, (or unfortunately,) someone has with him a stick of dynamite. There seems no way to get the pregnant woman loose without using the dynamite which will inevitably kill her; but if they do not use it everyone will drown. What should they do?

I would use my McGruber-like skills to create a shape charge with the dynamite and a nozzle crafted from the tour guide's megaphone, propelling the entire group with the beach umbrella we brought along and are now crowded in front of, the dynamite/nozzle wrapped to its handle. We smash gently into the pregnant woman's posterior and are all popped safely out of the cave, over the beach and into the ocean, where were are rescued by the AW patrol vessel SS Haskins' Fury. So in other words, we go from spelunking to sputnikking to sea-plunking.

Now then, what would you do if that pregnant woman was an AW member who then wrote you asking you to pick a name for the baby for her (unsure if boy or girl, and might be twins)? What would you do?

Some basterd stole your book idea and became a best-selling author. What do you do?

You are walking down a busy street when you see a panhandler standing in your path, and he is someone you recognize, an old friend you lost touch with, but someone who evidently has fallen on hard times. You don't want to embarrass him or make him feel humiliated in any way, but you don't want to ignore him either. What do you do?

You offer to take him out to lunch somewhere, and take an interest in what he's been up to.

You're walking down a dark alley late at night when you spot a bag full of money, apparently a bank deposit bag from one of the nearby restaurants. What do you do?

From Woof:

You are walking down a busy street when you see a panhandler standing in your path, and he is someone you recognize, an old friend you lost touch with, but someone who evidently has fallen on hard times. You don't want to embarrass him or make him feel humiliated in any way, but you don't want to ignore him either. What do you do?

Click to expand...

Pretend to be my identical twin and carry on regardless. (I do that anyway when I meet anyone I owe money to)

From MD134:

Some basterd stole your book idea and became a best-selling author. What do you do?

Click to expand...

Take out a full page ad in a national newspaper to name and shame them. Then I'd sign a six figure book deal to tell my expose.


You have lunch with an agent who seems keen to represent your book. During lunch they get a little drunk and proposition you. What do you do?

Woof said:

You are waiting in line at a bank when you suddenly notice that the creepy, twitching, nervous, sweaty guy in front of you has what appears to be a gun in his pocket. What do you do?

Click to expand...

You put on your friendliest face and say, "Hi, my name's FILL IN THE BLANK. What's yours? Let's play a game. If you can guess what's in my pocket, I have to give it to you, and if I can guess what's in your pocket, you have to give it to me. Okay? I'll go first."

Statistics show that this approach is unlikely to work, but if you can make it work, you'll become a hero and get interviewed on TV and maybe even run for President in 2012.



Your great-grandfather has gone to his heavenly rest, and when his will is read you learn that his entire $250-billion fortune has been left to your swinish cousin Clarence. You strongly suspect that Clarence has forged the will and that the money should be yours, but you know that if you anger Clarence he is capable of murdering you--and getting away with it.

What do you do?

You are called into your boss's office for a routine meeting, when suddenly he or she makes an inappropriate sexual advance. You know that this is in violation of your professional relationship and if you turn down his/her request it is likely that you will be fired, with months or years of litigation ahead of you, which you can't afford. To further complicate things, you are actually attracted to your boss, but have misgivings about getting involved with a married man/woman. What do you do?

You lie. You say, "Oh my...I just wet my pants. (You let your eyes fill with tears at this point.) I find you very attractive, but I can't respond to you. Every time I fell myself attracted to someone, I lose bladder control. The doctors tell me that there's nothing they can do. I born this way, and it was once a minor problem, but it's gotten worse. Maybe someday...if they find a cure. Please don't tell anyone...."


A close friend has joined what you suspect is a dangerous cult. You know if you speak against the cult she or he will cease contact with you, but if you don't speak up, she or he will give all of her or his inheritance of $3 million to the cult. What do you do?

StephanieFox said:

A close friend has joined what you suspect is a dangerous cult. You know if you speak against the cult she or he will cease contact with you, but if you don't speak up, she or he will give all of her or his inheritance of $3 million to the cult. What do you do?

Click to expand...

I join the cult. Of course I don't believe in their nonsense, but this is my way of maintaining contact with my friend. I work diligently to gain the confidence of the cult leaders and, because of my alleged expertise with finance, I eventually convince them to let me handle their investments. Once in charge of the treasury, I tell my friend that it is time to turn over his/her inheritance to the cult. With the $3 million under my control, I leave the cult and tell my friend that if the leaders hadn't been such fools they never would have fallen for my scheme. This will cause my friend to leave the cult, too.



You are invited to a party by people you barely know. They offer to drive you to their mountain lodge, and when you get there, you find 20 or 30 people drinking and laughing while very loud music plays. However, from time to time one of the guests is led away by one of the hosts, and soon afterward you are quite sure you hear screams coming from a different part of the house. When the host returns, he or she is smiling, and after a while another guest is led away. You try to say something, but the others are too caught up in partying to pay attention, and when one or two do listen to you, they laugh and say you are hallucinating. What do you do?