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Jaycinth
12-22-2008, 04:37 PM
I was promised that if I posted this, all of my questions would be answered; that there would be an end to this madness.

I was told the mysterious writer had a new job beginning January 20th, and wouldn't be able to continue with this madness.

I was also told the exact sequence of Velociraptor DNA and the winning lottery numbers.....


Wrong...wrong...wrong...
This answers nothing.


Chapter 11


"Laura?"

"What is it, George?"

"Should I be doing something now?"

"Doing something about what, George?"

"This trouble Jaycinth's got herself tied up in. I'm not sure I understand it, but it seems like I should be dropping bombs or something to help her out."

"No, George. No bombs."

"Just a little one?"

"No, George. If something needs to be done, Barak will take care of it next month."

"Barak? I'n't he that nice young feller what's buying our house?"

"He's not buying it, George. He won the election. The house goes with the job."

"You mean we've been renting?"

#

Del circled overhead and waggled a wing. Clockwork acknowledged the signal with a wave, swung the Jag around and headed south toward where our two heros sat, feet in the gutter, arguing back and forth about which direction the plot should take. Moments later, Clockwork screeched to a stop against the curb, narrowly missing Haggis' tail. Haggis had jumped back onto the sidewalk just in the nick of time.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Dale Earnhardt?" screamed the Chihuahua.

"Nuh-uh. I'm Clockwork. Remember? And this here's Rolling Thunder."

"That doesn't look like Rolling Thunder," said Haggis. "Rolling Thunder's a huge yellow circle with a hundred teeth. This guy's green."

"He could be Rolling Thunder," said Jaycinth.

"Jay, the dude's green. Green."

"I never figured you for a racist, Haggis. I'm ashamed of you."

"No, no, it's not that. It's just--the guy looks like the Grinch."

"My holiday avatar," said Rolling Thunder. "Isn't it precious?"

"That sounds like Rolling Thunder," said Jaycinth.

"It sure smells like Rolling Thunder," said Haggis.

"Shut up, dog meat," said RT.

"Bite me," said Haggis.

"Up yours, flea bag."

"You stink."

"You suck."

"You smell."

"You lick your butt."

"Boys, boys," said Jaycinth. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Right now we've got to figure out where this story's going."

"Right now RT better figure out where he can get a bath."

"Aren't we near Ray's House of Love?" said Clockwork.

"Yeah, so?" said Jay.

"Hot tub," said Clockwork.

Jaycinth shoved RT back into the trunk and they piled into the Jag for the two block drive to Maestrowork's. Clockwork parked alongside the curb. They tumbled out and approached the front door. Clockwork turned the knob, but the door was locked.

"Bastids." Said RT.

"Never mind," said Jay, pulling a grenade from her pocket. "I'll take care of this in short order."

"Hold on," said RT. "I know an easier way to get inside."

He held out his right paw and flicked open a long, ugly moldering fingernail. He pushed it into the lock, twisted it back and forth a few times, and then tried the doorknob again. RT smiled his most evil smile, pushed the door open and waved the small group inside.

The hot tub stood in the center of the room, and it was already crowded. Stew, KTC and NeuroFizz leaned against one wall, discussing poetry. Kristie911 and sassandgroove had their eyes glued to Ray as he admired his abs. Maryn, fearless, stared at us and yawned. Cassiopeia took one look at us and screamed. Chaos ensued.

I like chaos.

RT peeled off his Grinch pants and belly flopped into the middle of the tub. Everyone but Maryn fled. Haggis was disappointed because, except for Ray, they all wore swimwear.

"Where's the soap?" RT asked.

"Noooooooooo. Noooooooooooo," shouted Ray. It'll screw up the water intakes. "No soooooooooooap. No sooooooooooooap."

"Pumice stone?" said Maryn, arching her eyebrows and radiating coolness.

"Uh, sure," said RT, not quite knowing how to treat someone who neither feared him, nor was his sworn enemy. He also didn't have a clue what to do with a pumice stone, so he took it from Maryn, sniffed it and took a bite.

"Americans!" said KTC.

"Watch it, Bub. I'm American," said NeuroFizz.

"Yeah, me too," said Stew as she backed Kevin into a corner.

By this time, Haggis was doing back flips. He enjoys chaos nearly as much as I do.

Things calmed down, though, when Ray put on his chocolate pants. Williebee dragged a new tub in through the front door, and Cassi and sass began disassembling the old one even as RT finished his bath.

As RT toweled himself off, a thought occurred to me. "Hey guys, you want to help us thwart BenPanced's rudely hatched nefarious plot?"

Kristie shook her head. KTC rolled his eyes. Cassi averted her eyes.

"What are you, freakin' nuts?" said Trish. Trish has a way with words.

"We don't have the time," said NeuroFizz. "We've got to repair the damage you all caused. Try the Royalty Thread. They're in the next block over."

"The Royalty thread?" said Haggis. "I never thought about them. They love their Chihuahua. Of course they'll help. Let's go."

#

"... and the Boche machine gun emplacement was just over the ridge. Yet there was Nigel, gunned down and lying in the middle of No Man's Land. He screamed for help, so I had no choice but to..."

#

Meanwhile, at the Sauerkraut Packers Convention

"Hey, Earl?"

"Huh?"

"You hear anything about the banquet?"

"What do you mean?"

"The banquet. You hear anything about it?"

"They got some gourmet chef from back East somewhere's what I heard."

"You're kidding."

"No, sir. Probably be makin' up some pansy-ass meal like them East Coast folks like."

"Crap. I hope not. Gimme simple food. Gimme people food. Gimme deep fried chicken lungs and armadillo road kill any day.

"And don't skimp on the habaneras."

"You got that right, Earl."


####



Does Rolling Thunder really know Dale Ernhardt?

Will NeuroFizz ever get the hottub clean?

Will Maryn ever get her eyeballs clean?

Will BMWHTLY ever rescue Nigel?


Well, boys and girls, you better enjoy your holiday week, because next Monday it only gets worse when...FAJITA SUNRISE continues.


Same AW time...same AW thread!!!!


MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

regdog
12-22-2008, 04:45 PM
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/happy096.gif

Ol' Fashioned Girl
12-22-2008, 04:54 PM
Same AW time...same AW thread!!!!

Same thread? SAME THREAD?! It's never the same thread! NEVER! Y'all're throwin' up these hairballs all over my nice, clean OP!











And I wasn't even IN this episode!

Haggis
12-22-2008, 05:34 PM
Same thread? SAME THREAD?! It's never the same thread! NEVER! Y'all're throwin' up these hairballs all over my nice, clean OP!



I don't do "hairballs."

Ol' Fashioned Girl
12-22-2008, 05:39 PM
So many things could be said in response...

Haggis
12-22-2008, 05:41 PM
So many things could be said in response...

I didn't say anything about "furballs." So don't go trying to lay that one on me.

quickWit
12-22-2008, 05:45 PM
I don't do "hairballs."

...just beachballs. Right RT? :D


Well done Jay. Oh, and nice win over the eagles. Huzzah. :)

cray
12-22-2008, 06:01 PM
...


Well done Jay.


yes, i agree. nice work, jaycinth!




Oh, and nice win over the eagles. Huzzah. :)

up you're's.

quickWit
12-22-2008, 06:10 PM
up you're's.

Don't be so negative.




:roll:




that's gold.

Shadow_Ferret
12-22-2008, 06:21 PM
I just realized I didn't read the last episode.

Haggis
12-22-2008, 06:29 PM
I just realized I didn't read the last episode.

That's a shame. I'm quite sure you figured prominently in that one.

Shadow_Ferret
12-22-2008, 06:55 PM
OK, I went back and remembered I deliberately didn't read it because I wasn't in it. :tongue

vixey
12-22-2008, 08:39 PM
*jumps up and down*

They're coming to visit the Royalty Thread!

Shadow_Ferret
12-22-2008, 09:04 PM
What?

*goes back to set up for a seige*

Get that oil boiling, boys!

Beach Bunny
12-23-2008, 12:44 AM
Excellent work! :ROFL:

They're coming to the Royalty Thread?!?

Oh no, there will be even more boxes of memos with my name on them in the archives. :e2brows:

robeiae
12-23-2008, 01:19 AM
I'm still waiting for the promised fajitas.

Haggis
12-23-2008, 01:45 AM
I'm still waiting for the promised fajitas.

By a strange quirk of fate, I made fajitas for dinner Saturday. Had I known you were craving them I would have saved some for you.

Yeah, right. :ROFL:

Jaycinth
12-23-2008, 04:13 PM
Well done Jay. Oh, and nice win over the eagles. Huzzah. :)

....picked him up and THREW him away from the goal line...just picked him up and threw him....
I'm still waiting for the promised fajitas.

I think the promise of fajitas is what keeps us going. Once we get the promised fajitas, the story will be over and all we'll have is a methane minute. . .

robeiae
12-23-2008, 04:56 PM
By a strange quirk of fate, I made fajitas for dinner Saturday. Had I known you were craving them I would have saved some for you.

Yeah, right. :ROFL:
You're a strange quirk of fate.

Haggis
12-23-2008, 07:46 PM
You're a strange quirk of fate.

*sends memo to new writer guy: Rob is to meet a slow and painful death in the next episode*

robeiae
12-23-2008, 10:44 PM
Rob is to meet a slow and painful death in the next episode*
I'm gonna meet KTC? Cool...