Happy Hanukkah!
- Thread starter Shady Lane
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So how many candles should be lit now?
When I was a kid my best friend was Jewish and I was so jealous that he got a present every day for 8 days. I wanted to convert.
When I was a kid my best friend was Jewish and I was so jealous that he got a present every day for 8 days. I wanted to convert.
...it tis at that 
(You've got excellent taste! Hmmm, perhaps I can get you to do some shopping for me... ;-)
(You've got excellent taste! Hmmm, perhaps I can get you to do some shopping for me... ;-)
First night, so one candle (plus the shamas, so technically 2, but then technically there are 9 candles instead of eight)
I'm half-Jewish, so I get Christmas AND Hanukkah. I know. I win.
I got a Brown sweatshirt tonight! (the college, not the color. Though the color as well.) Wooooo!
And my dad added lots of riffs to the blessing. Snazzy.
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My sweetie and I helped organize a big ole hanukkah party last night for LGBT folks in their 20s & 30s (that age group is a special group of its own at our temple because they are of the age that is the least likely to be involved in the jewish community--it's true!) and we collected from the partygoers three jumbo garbage bags full of toys to donate to a child services agency. The kids who get the toys are all in residential treatment foster care and have emotional, mental health, or behavioral problems. There are so many toys they filled up the whole backseat of our Forester. Yay!
And I got a book about pastry called "Desserts By The Yard" by Sherry Yard because I want to wear a pink chef's coat and be her when I grow up. Happy Latke Eating, everyone!
And I got a book about pastry called "Desserts By The Yard" by Sherry Yard because I want to wear a pink chef's coat and be her when I grow up. Happy Latke Eating, everyone!
Happy Hanukkah everyone! We celebrate both too (our kids go to a Jewish school). The little ones have a Hanukkah party tonight and I'll get to hear the Dreidel song for the SIX MILLIONTH TIME in about two weeks.
HANUKKAH SONG, part 1:
It's time for Hanukkah
So much fun-uka
To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is, the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So does James Concord Douglas, and the late Dina Shora
Guess who eats together, at the Carnegie Deli?
Bowser from Sha NaNa and Arthur Fonzerelli
Ponoman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half, too
Put them together, what a fine looking Jew
You don't need Deck that Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
'Cuz you can spin a dredel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock
Both Jewish!
O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
But guess who is, Hall of Famer Rod Carew
We got Ann Landers, and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish,
NOT TOO SHABBY!!!!
Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is
ALL THREE STOOGES!!!!
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Hanukkah
Don't forget harmonica
On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah
Smoke your marijuana-ka
So drink your gin and tonic-ka
If you really, really, really wanna-ka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, Hanukkah
Happy Hanukkah
HANUKKAH SONG, part 2:
Time to take out those menorahs!
Put on your yamaca
It's time for Hanukkah
So much fun-uka
To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is, the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
Winona Ryder drinks Manashevits' wine
Then spins a dredl with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
Guess who give and receives loads of Hanukkah toys?
The girls from Barukasouhl and all three Beastie Boys
Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish, Courtney Love is half too
Put them together, what a funky, bad-ass Jew
We got Harvey Kitell and falsh dancer Jennifer Bills
Jasmins Bleuth from Baywatch is Jewish and
Yes her boobs are real
O.J. Simpson, still not a Jew
But guess who is, the guy who does the voice for
Scooby-Doo
Bob Dylan was born a Jew, then he wasn't, but now he's back
Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'cuz we're pretty good
In the sack
Guess who got bar mitzvah-ed on the PGA tour?
No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods, I'm talking about
Mr. Happy Gilmore
So many Jews are in the show-biz
Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish, but my mother thinks he is
Tell that old harmonica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah
It's not pronounced Chanukkah
The C is silent in Hanukkah
So your your Hooked on Phonic-a
Get drunk in Teawonica
If you really really wanna-ka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah
HANUKKAH SONG, part 3
(the b-side, very rare version from Saturday Night Live):
Hanukkah is the festival of lights;
One day of presents?
Hell no, we get the eight crazy nights!
But if you still feel like the only kid in town
without a Christmas tree,
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you,
so here comes number three!
Ross and Phoebe from "Friends"
say the Hanukkah blessing,
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy
and "Will and Grace"'s Debra Messing!
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy,
Maybe they should have called that show
"Little Kosher House on the Prairie"!
We got Jerry Lewis,
Ben Stiller, and Jack Black,
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism,
but you guys can have him back!
(Just kidding.)
We may not get to kiss
underneath the mistletoe,
But we can do it all night long
with Deuce Bigalow!
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah,
Osama bin Laden...Not a big fan of the Jews!
Well maybe that's because he lost the figure skating match
to gold medalist Sarah Hughes!
(Her mama's Jewish.)
Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets
with such precision,
but one thing they could not get out of...
Their painful circumcision!
Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish,
But a full-time Oscar winner,
Jennifer Connelly's half-Jewish too,
And I'd like to put more in her!
There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell,
Beck, and Paula Abdul,
Joey Ramone was making punk rock music,
but first came Hebrew school!
Hey!
Gotta live for Hanukkah
It's time to celebrate Hanukkah,
I hope I get an Ab-tronica
On this joyful, joyful Hanukkah,
So get a high Colonica
And soil your long johnnakahs
If you really, really wannakah,
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!
It's time for Hanukkah
So much fun-uka
To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is, the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So does James Concord Douglas, and the late Dina Shora
Guess who eats together, at the Carnegie Deli?
Bowser from Sha NaNa and Arthur Fonzerelli
Ponoman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half, too
Put them together, what a fine looking Jew
You don't need Deck that Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
'Cuz you can spin a dredel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock
Both Jewish!
O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
But guess who is, Hall of Famer Rod Carew
We got Ann Landers, and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish,
NOT TOO SHABBY!!!!
Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is
ALL THREE STOOGES!!!!
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Hanukkah
Don't forget harmonica
On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah
Smoke your marijuana-ka
So drink your gin and tonic-ka
If you really, really, really wanna-ka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, Hanukkah
Happy Hanukkah
HANUKKAH SONG, part 2:
Time to take out those menorahs!
Put on your yamaca
It's time for Hanukkah
So much fun-uka
To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is, the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
Winona Ryder drinks Manashevits' wine
Then spins a dredl with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
Guess who give and receives loads of Hanukkah toys?
The girls from Barukasouhl and all three Beastie Boys
Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish, Courtney Love is half too
Put them together, what a funky, bad-ass Jew
We got Harvey Kitell and falsh dancer Jennifer Bills
Jasmins Bleuth from Baywatch is Jewish and
Yes her boobs are real
O.J. Simpson, still not a Jew
But guess who is, the guy who does the voice for
Scooby-Doo
Bob Dylan was born a Jew, then he wasn't, but now he's back
Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'cuz we're pretty good
In the sack
Guess who got bar mitzvah-ed on the PGA tour?
No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods, I'm talking about
Mr. Happy Gilmore
So many Jews are in the show-biz
Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish, but my mother thinks he is
Tell that old harmonica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah
It's not pronounced Chanukkah
The C is silent in Hanukkah
So your your Hooked on Phonic-a
Get drunk in Teawonica
If you really really wanna-ka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah
HANUKKAH SONG, part 3
(the b-side, very rare version from Saturday Night Live):
Hanukkah is the festival of lights;
One day of presents?
Hell no, we get the eight crazy nights!
But if you still feel like the only kid in town
without a Christmas tree,
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you,
so here comes number three!
Ross and Phoebe from "Friends"
say the Hanukkah blessing,
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy
and "Will and Grace"'s Debra Messing!
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy,
Maybe they should have called that show
"Little Kosher House on the Prairie"!
We got Jerry Lewis,
Ben Stiller, and Jack Black,
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism,
but you guys can have him back!
(Just kidding.)
We may not get to kiss
underneath the mistletoe,
But we can do it all night long
with Deuce Bigalow!
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah,
Osama bin Laden...Not a big fan of the Jews!
Well maybe that's because he lost the figure skating match
to gold medalist Sarah Hughes!
(Her mama's Jewish.)
Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets
with such precision,
but one thing they could not get out of...
Their painful circumcision!
Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish,
But a full-time Oscar winner,
Jennifer Connelly's half-Jewish too,
And I'd like to put more in her!
There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell,
Beck, and Paula Abdul,
Joey Ramone was making punk rock music,
but first came Hebrew school!
Hey!
Gotta live for Hanukkah
It's time to celebrate Hanukkah,
I hope I get an Ab-tronica
On this joyful, joyful Hanukkah,
So get a high Colonica
And soil your long johnnakahs
If you really, really wannakah,
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!
James Concord Douglas=James Caan, Kirk Douglas
Ponoman=Paul Newman
Barukasouhl=Veruca Salt
Harvey Kitell=Harvey Keitel
falsh dancer Jennifer Bills=Flashdancer Jennifer Beals
Jasmins Bleuth=Yasmine Bleeth
I'm just sayin...
Ponoman=Paul Newman
Barukasouhl=Veruca Salt
Harvey Kitell=Harvey Keitel
falsh dancer Jennifer Bills=Flashdancer Jennifer Beals
Jasmins Bleuth=Yasmine Bleeth
I'm just sayin...
James Concord Douglas=James Caan, Kirk Douglas
Ponoman=Paul Newman
Barukasouhl=Veruca Salt
Harvey Kitell=Harvey Keitel
falsh dancer Jennifer Bills=Flashdancer Jennifer Beals
Jasmins Bleuth=Yasmine Bleeth
I'm just sayin...
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! I copied/pasted ... ROFL! That's too funny!