All my frustration boiled down into this letter. How therapeutic! Feel free to use this on your site or blog but please give me credit for it!
Dear Agent,
Thank you for you interest in accepting queries from previously unpublished authors. Unfortunately due to the volume of mail sent out, it might take 2-4 weeks for you to receive a query from me. If you haven't heard from me in 5 weeks, consider me not interested in what you have to offer.
Below are some helpful tips when dealing with an unpublished author and approaching query letters. Pay close attention, as this is vital information and if you don't follow these guidelines, it will lessen your chances of being chosen to represent me.
1) Don't call me a new writer. Previously unpublished does not mean new. I was a new writer more than 15 years ago.
2) Don't assume that because I'm previously unpublished that my work is terrible. Read past the first paragraph of my query please.
3) I want a response even if it is a form letter "Thanks but no thanks." I realize you are busy. So am I. That's no excuse for utter disrespect. If I am going to take the time to query, I want you to acknowledge that I sent you something instead of you automatically hitting the delete button.
4) If you don't offer the agency's staff bios and recent sales on your web site, don't expect me to query.
5) If you charge any kind of fee, shame on you. Go crawl into a hole.
6) Don't ask for extra material on query letters. There are universal ways to write a query. Asking us to add unnecessary items like why I write or my children's names can slow me down when submitting queries. Like I said, I'm busy too and can't be bothered to tailor a query to each individual agent. Believe me, I've spent as much time crafting the query as I have spent on my novel.
Thank you for your interest.
Dear Agent,
Thank you for you interest in accepting queries from previously unpublished authors. Unfortunately due to the volume of mail sent out, it might take 2-4 weeks for you to receive a query from me. If you haven't heard from me in 5 weeks, consider me not interested in what you have to offer.
Below are some helpful tips when dealing with an unpublished author and approaching query letters. Pay close attention, as this is vital information and if you don't follow these guidelines, it will lessen your chances of being chosen to represent me.
1) Don't call me a new writer. Previously unpublished does not mean new. I was a new writer more than 15 years ago.
2) Don't assume that because I'm previously unpublished that my work is terrible. Read past the first paragraph of my query please.
3) I want a response even if it is a form letter "Thanks but no thanks." I realize you are busy. So am I. That's no excuse for utter disrespect. If I am going to take the time to query, I want you to acknowledge that I sent you something instead of you automatically hitting the delete button.
4) If you don't offer the agency's staff bios and recent sales on your web site, don't expect me to query.
5) If you charge any kind of fee, shame on you. Go crawl into a hole.
6) Don't ask for extra material on query letters. There are universal ways to write a query. Asking us to add unnecessary items like why I write or my children's names can slow me down when submitting queries. Like I said, I'm busy too and can't be bothered to tailor a query to each individual agent. Believe me, I've spent as much time crafting the query as I have spent on my novel.
Thank you for your interest.
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