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Feiss
12-18-2008, 05:57 AM
I have to make six dozen cookies for the office cookie exchange tomorrow. Our team is responsible for the damned event, so it's kind of mandatory. I cannot cook, I cannot cookie. So I not only have to make 72 of these damned cookies, I also have to learn how to make them.

Also, we have a gingerbread house making competition, a costume competition, an ornament exchange, and a charity event.

Does it ever feel like the Christmas cheer is a bit forced? It's grinchy, but I just want it all to be over and for the bells to stop jingling.

Tra la fucking la

Fenika
12-18-2008, 06:01 AM
Step one: Find the dairy section of your supermarket
Step two: Look just to the side for the rolls of cookie dough
Step three: Return home, pour your beverage of choice, follow simple directions

Bubastes
12-18-2008, 06:06 AM
What Bahamut said.

You can even make things easier by finding cookie dough that's already cut into neat, uniform cubes for you.

alleycat
12-18-2008, 06:08 AM
You can make them even easiest by buying a couple of bags of Little Debbie's and putting them in your own container.

Hell, everyone will be so excited by the gingerbread house competition that they'll never notice . . .

;-)

Sarita
12-18-2008, 06:10 AM
ooooooo! I made 150 cookies with my 2 year old today. And it was beyond fun. I was honestly surprised that we both enjoyed ourselves so much.

But yeah, if you don't like to cook (or cookie) do the premade stuff. And be guilt free about it. :)

alleycat
12-18-2008, 06:15 AM
Uh, just out of curiosity, where do you work . . . the North Pole?

(I better go away before I get slapped repeatedly . . . )

TerzaRima
12-18-2008, 06:19 AM
we have a gingerbread house making competition, a costume competition, an ornament exchange, and a charity event.



My God, do you work for a bunch of former sorority girls? With that kind of enforced perkiness, I'd have to start taking a flask to work.

alleycat
12-18-2008, 06:21 AM
My God, do you work for a bunch of former sorority girls? With that kind of enforced perkiness, I'd have to start taking a flask to work.
You think they giggle when they get kissed under the mistletoe?

JoNightshade
12-18-2008, 06:26 AM
You know you can opt out of those office party things, right?

I wouldn't even worry about social repercussions. I guarantee as soon as one person says "You know what? I just don't have time for this," five other people will join in.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 06:29 AM
Uh, just out of curiosity, where do you work . . . the North Pole?

(I better go away before I get slapped repeatedly . . . )

Even more frigid - an accounting firm.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Feiss
12-18-2008, 06:30 AM
You know you can opt out of those office party things, right?

I wouldn't even worry about social repercussions. I guarantee as soon as one person says "You know what? I just don't have time for this," five other people will join in.

I would. Normally. Except I'm on the team in charge of running the thing, and it would be bad form not to bake the cookies.

alleycat
12-18-2008, 06:35 AM
I still say just stop somewhere on the way into work tomorrow and buy some of those cheap red and green "holiday cookies". They'll think you spend a lot of time making them.

Buy some booze too. I have a feeling you're going to need it.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 06:49 AM
You think they giggle when they get kissed under the mistletoe?

They giggle when they finish a tax return

Feiss
12-18-2008, 06:50 AM
I still say just stop somewhere on the way into work tomorrow and buy some of those cheap red and green "holiday cookies". They'll think you spend a lot of time making them.

Buy some booze too. I have a feeling you're going to need it.

*slurs already have it*

*stumbles out*

maestrowork
12-18-2008, 07:42 AM
And if you have rabbits, you can use their turds instead of chocolate chips or raisins.

Just saying.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
12-18-2008, 07:47 AM
Make BAD cookies. Make sure they know the bad cookies are YOUR cookies. They'll never bother you again. ;)

(Substitute salt for sugar; works every time.)

benbradley
12-18-2008, 08:31 AM
And if you have rabbits, you can use their turds instead of chocolate chips or raisins.

Just saying.

Make BAD cookies. Make sure they know the bad cookies are YOUR cookies. They'll never bother you again. ;)

(Substitute salt for sugar; works every time.)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no ... use REAL food. Make chocolate chip cookies, but instead of the chocolate chips...

"These look interesting, there's little red and green bits of something in them, they look Christmassy! What are these?"

"You've never had these before? You haven't lived until you've had Red Pepper and Jalapeno cookies!"

Act shameless about it (see the father in the Birthday Cake for Hitler thread), like it's a well-known tradition, and you don't know how these people managed to grow up without learning this important social knowledge.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 10:45 AM
And if you have rabbits, you can use their turds instead of chocolate chips or raisins.

Just saying.

I don't have rabbits, but I do poop.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 10:46 AM
No, no, no, no, no, no, no ... use REAL food. Make chocolate chip cookies, but instead of the chocolate chips...

"These look interesting, there's little red and green bits of something in them, they look Christmassy! What are these?"

"You've never had these before? You haven't lived until you've had Red Pepper and Jalapeno cookies!"

Act shameless about it (see the father in the Birthday Cake for Hitler thread), like it's a well-known tradition, and you don't know how these people managed to grow up without learning this important social knowledge.

lol. I'll incorporate beets somehow.

ChimeraCreative
12-18-2008, 11:19 AM
I love making cookies. I can never find anyone to feed, though. >.<

-An

Yeshanu
12-18-2008, 12:57 PM
I love making cookies. I can never find anyone to feed, though. >.<

-An

No problem. You're only an hour or two away from me by car. When can I pick them up? :D

scarletpeaches
12-18-2008, 01:10 PM
Profanity alert! Be warned!
...
...
...
What would I do? Tell 'em to get fucked.

That is all.

CaroGirl
12-18-2008, 05:55 PM
I sympathize. I had to make a bunch of gingersnaps for our company potluck on Friday. Thankfully, the weather was so bad yesterday morning I "worked from home" and baked all those little SOBs in the afternoon. I also got some prezzies wrapped and worked on my WIP for a couple of hours. What my company don't know won't hurt me. Or them.

scarletpeaches
12-18-2008, 06:22 PM
Here's something I don't get. Why talking about 'have' to do these things? Who makes you?

Soccer Mom
12-18-2008, 06:28 PM
Ah, firm life. Yes, they peer pressure you into doing things. So silly.

Go to a nice bakery, buy cookies, serve on cute platter. The end.

I no longer bake cookies for school, soccer team, cub scouts. I'm too freakin' busy. I just buy them and no one complains.

Shadow_Ferret
12-18-2008, 06:46 PM
Wow.

Bunch of Scrooges in here.

Tis the season to whine and complain.

Mela
12-18-2008, 07:36 PM
Costume competition? As in dressing up in different holiday characters? Grinch, Frosty, elves - that sort of thing?

It sounds a little over the top but I guess it's a way for the accountants to show their fun side?

I'm within everyone else - get the pre-made stuff. But ...
If you're in charge of making 72 cookies and you're part of a team - how many cookies is the team as a whole making? Just curious.

Don
12-18-2008, 07:43 PM
:roll: :roll:

I missed the laptop, but coke spewed across the living room is still a mess to clean up.

It's good to see the holiday spirit hasn't dampened people's sense of humor.

:roll: :roll:

maestrowork
12-18-2008, 08:23 PM
Go to a nice bakery, buy cookies, serve on cute platter. The end.


Exactly.

And tell them to lay off the corporate guilt.

benbradley
12-18-2008, 08:24 PM
Prof...
...
That is all.
Scarletpeaches' delicate innocence brought this to mind:

"Seventy two cookies? Are you sure you don't want me to bring seventy two virgins?"

scarletpeaches
12-18-2008, 08:25 PM
I agree with Ray apart from the 'buy cookies' part.

I still don't get why anyone should have to join in with the enforced perkiness if they don't want to. Can someone please explain to me why you should have to make or buy anything for your workmates?

maestrowork
12-18-2008, 08:28 PM
I still don't get why anyone should have to join in with the enforced perkiness if they don't want to. Can someone please explain to me why you should have to make or buy anything for your workmates?

Because it's about the team spirit. It's about working together. And also because John bought you those damn bagels last week, which you had no problem consuming with the bucket of cream cheese Mary got for the team, and the evidence is right there on your hips.

Yeshanu
12-18-2008, 08:30 PM
I still don't get why anyone should have to join in with the enforced perkiness if they don't want to. Can someone please explain to me why you should have to make or buy anything for your workmates?

Ordinarily, I'd agree with you, but she did post upthread that she was on the committee that organized this party. I'd say that would obligate her to provide something. But really, frozen cookie dough (around here, you can buy it by the bucket) is just as good as homemade, and if you don't tell, we won't. ;)

Don
12-18-2008, 08:30 PM
Because it's about the team spirit. It's about working together. And also because John bought you those damn bagels last week, which you had no problem consuming with the bucket of cream cheese Mary got for the team, and the evidence is right there on your hips.
And because sheepdogs are never happy unless they've got something to herd. :)

CaroGirl
12-18-2008, 08:31 PM
I agree with Ray apart from the 'buy cookies' part.

I still don't get why anyone should have to join in with the enforced perkiness if they don't want to. Can someone please explain to me why you should have to make or buy anything for your workmates?
Aye, there's the rub. Somewhere deep inside I must want to. Or I'm just guilting myself into it. Or I have a desperate need to be liked at my new company. Or I want to show everybody that I can make a damn great gingersnap (which I can) so kiss my ass (not you, them). Maybe I'm too complex for me to understand myself.

James81
12-18-2008, 08:32 PM
I made chocolate chip cookies the other night.

They look like complete shit, but they taste alright.

I know that doesn't help you in any way, but I thought I'd throw that out there into the universe.

ChimeraCreative
12-18-2008, 09:01 PM
No problem. You're only an hour or two away from me by car. When can I pick them up? :D

I'm getting two Madeline pans for Christmas. Swing by on Boxing Day for some treats. We'd have to work out regular pick up dates for cookies and cheesecakes and pies. ^_^

-An

ChimeraCreative
12-18-2008, 09:04 PM
For the record, adding instant pudding mix to chocolate chip cookie batter makes soft and chewy cookies. I use white chocolate pudding the most. Add chocolate chunks instead of chocolate chips. Roll BIG cookie dough balls in sanding sugar then cook them. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful cookies. ^_^

-An

CaroGirl
12-18-2008, 09:07 PM
I make the best chocolate chip cookies evah!! Ask my kids. The key to keeping them chewy for my cookies is using less flour. I also have a fantastic gas oven that keeps temperature perfectly, and I bake them on a stone instead of a cookie sheet for even heating. They never burn on the stone.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 09:11 PM
Wow.

Bunch of Scrooges in here.

Tis the season to whine and complain.

Lol. What is with this snow?! And Presents? And this old man keeps trying to break into my house, his reindeer are shitting everywhere.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 09:12 PM
Costume competition? As in dressing up in different holiday characters? Grinch, Frosty, elves - that sort of thing?

It sounds a little over the top but I guess it's a way for the accountants to show their fun side?

I'm within everyone else - get the pre-made stuff. But ...
If you're in charge of making 72 cookies and you're part of a team - how many cookies is the team as a whole making? Just curious.

Like...uh...Christmas cheer competition. I don't know, I just put on a red dress and a white coat and called myself santa.

72 cookies each...for everyone who wants to participate, so I guess 504 cookies for our whole team.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 09:13 PM
For the record, adding instant pudding mix to chocolate chip cookie batter makes soft and chewy cookies. I use white chocolate pudding the most. Add chocolate chunks instead of chocolate chips. Roll BIG cookie dough balls in sanding sugar then cook them. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful cookies. ^_^

-An

i demand you make me 72 of those, dress up like a reindeer and bring them to my firm at 3 PM

Feiss
12-18-2008, 09:14 PM
I wish I had balls. Not rum balls, cajones, but I don't. I let the pressure get to me and spent 4 hours last night dipping mint milanos into chocolate and crushing candy canes to scatter on top, and then waited 40 minutes for the chocolate to harden and wrapped them in tiny bags with little gold ribbons on top.

I'm so weeeaaakk

*SOBS*

CaroGirl
12-18-2008, 09:17 PM
I wish I had balls. Not rum balls, cajones.
Can I order some of each, please?

Sarita
12-18-2008, 09:18 PM
For the record, adding instant pudding mix to chocolate chip cookie batter makes soft and chewy cookies. I use white chocolate pudding the most. Add chocolate chunks instead of chocolate chips. Roll BIG cookie dough balls in sanding sugar then cook them. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful cookies. ^_^

-An
Um, yeah. Newly wed? Get thy self to the cooking forum and post your recipe... :)

Williebee
12-18-2008, 09:23 PM
What Sari said. Chimera, I really want this recipe. Like, in a pinch, can I get away with doing the pudding thing to a cookie mix? And how much pudding?

quickWit
12-18-2008, 09:31 PM
Feiss, just out of curiosity...what would you estimate the suicide rate is at your office?

:D

maestrowork
12-18-2008, 09:34 PM
quickwit = ho ho ho, spirit of good cheers.

quickWit
12-18-2008, 09:35 PM
quickwit = ho ho ho, spirit of good cheers.

It's just my way. :D

Feiss
12-18-2008, 09:36 PM
Feiss, just out of curiosity...what would you estimate the suicide rate is at your office?

:D

about two of three.

So many people jump off our building that they've dug an open grave around the perimeter of the office.

MaryMumsy
12-18-2008, 09:38 PM
Feiss, just out of curiosity...what would you estimate the suicide rate is at your office?

:D

It's an accounting office. Accountants don't suicide, they just become out of balance. So glad I left the world of accounting firms and set up on my own 28 years ago.

MM

maestrowork
12-18-2008, 09:40 PM
It's accounting office? Feiss, you'd better make exactly 72 cookies. They can count.

Williebee
12-18-2008, 09:40 PM
maybe they need a bailout?

maestrowork
12-18-2008, 09:41 PM
Cookies for cooties.

ChimeraCreative
12-18-2008, 09:44 PM
Mind you, this recipe makes a butt load of cookies, eh? ^_^

4 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups butter (unsalted and softened)
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 packages instant pudding mix (I prefer white chocolate or a dark chocolate)
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips (I use 2 cups chocolate chips AND 2 cups chocolate chunks)
2 cups chopped walnuts (optional, I never use them)
bottle of white sanding sugar (it's the thicker sugar that typically goes on top of pastries. Trust me, it makes the cookies terrifically crunchy)

Preheat oven to 350F. Sift together flour and baking soda, set it aside. (yeah... I don't bother to sift either, but I know I should)

Cream the butter and sugars together. Beat in the puddings. Stir in eggs and vanilla. Add the flour in three installments, beat well after each one. Stir in your chips, chunks, nuts, whatever. Roll out BIG balls of dough between your palms. Roll the cookies through a plate or bowl of sanding sugar. I cook them on the foil lined sheet, but it's not necessary to do so. Bakes for 10-12 minutes. They'll be pretty soft when you take them out so let them rest on the tray for a few mo's. They'll stay soft for days, if they last that long. They're about the best cookie I've ever had.

-An

quickWit
12-18-2008, 09:45 PM
about two of three.

So many people jump off our building that they've dug an open grave around the perimeter of the office.

Very sensible. Very accounting-like.

If they had any balls at all they'd dig one 6'x6' hole and make it an accuracy competition.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 10:03 PM
Very sensible. Very accounting-like.

If they had any balls at all they'd dig one 6'x6' hole and make it an accuracy competition.


I told you. No balls. only debits. Only credits.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 10:05 PM
maybe they need a bailout?


Not applicable, financial success, financial ruin, they'll always need someone to count the pennies.

quickWit
12-18-2008, 10:07 PM
I told you. No balls. only debits. Only credits.

Perhaps an incentive would help. Everyone loves incentives.

Maybe something like "the first person to hit the mark would be exempt from the cookie/costume/secret santa/festivities the following year".

:D

Feiss
12-18-2008, 10:09 PM
maybe they need a bailout?


I think I just got the joke

:roll:

quickWit
12-18-2008, 10:27 PM
I think I just got the joke

:roll:

Typical accountant.


*re-reads post*

Hm. Some people might find that offensive.

Typical accountant.

Typical skirt.


that's better. :D

James81
12-18-2008, 10:55 PM
I wish I had balls.

No you don't. They really are just a big hassle and get in the way most of the time.

James81
12-18-2008, 10:57 PM
Mind you, this recipe makes a butt load of cookies, eh? ^_^

4 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups butter (unsalted and softened)
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 packages instant pudding mix (I prefer white chocolate or a dark chocolate)
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips (I use 2 cups chocolate chips AND 2 cups chocolate chunks)
2 cups chopped walnuts (optional, I never use them)
bottle of white sanding sugar (it's the thicker sugar that typically goes on top of pastries. Trust me, it makes the cookies terrifically crunchy)

Preheat oven to 350F. Sift together flour and baking soda, set it aside. (yeah... I don't bother to sift either, but I know I should)

Cream the butter and sugars together. Beat in the puddings. Stir in eggs and vanilla. Add the flour in three installments, beat well after each one. Stir in your chips, chunks, nuts, whatever. Roll out BIG balls of dough between your palms. Roll the cookies through a plate or bowl of sanding sugar. I cook them on the foil lined sheet, but it's not necessary to do so. Bakes for 10-12 minutes. They'll be pretty soft when you take them out so let them rest on the tray for a few mo's. They'll stay soft for days, if they last that long. They're about the best cookie I've ever had.

-An

Edit>Select All>Copy>Paste>Print

*two thumbs up and a huge grin*

benbradley
12-18-2008, 11:15 PM
Because it's about the team spirit. It's about working together.
I think there's a fine line bwtween where a little cameraderie at work helps productivity and helps everyone get along, and where it becomes a pep rally and "Rah Rah Rah Go Company!" and starts to look and feel like Amway and Herbalife.

I recall going to what I thought was led to believe was a job interview. It was at A. L. Williams (or was it Primerica? Whatever, it was bought out by Traveler's) Insurance, but no, it was a 'seminar' with about a dozen others (we 'first timers' were asked to sit on the first row, and it became clear the others were plants, giving all the right "Yay!" reactions at the right time) where a few guys gave 'speeches', a sales pitch to sell insurance to all your friends, relatives and aquaintances. Later, when I was reading about cults, it all made sense.

I made chocolate chip cookies the other night.

They look like complete shit, but they taste alright.

I know that doesn't help you in any way, but I thought I'd throw that out there into the universe.
Oh, but it sure gives me an idea! "I had some help from the critters at home in baking my contribution to this year's Christmas party. (http://images.google.com/images?q=kitty+litter+cake&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&um=1&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title)"

I wish I had balls. Not rum balls, cajones, but I don't. I let the pressure get to me and spent 4 hours last night dipping mint milanos into chocolate and crushing candy canes to scatter on top, and then waited 40 minutes for the chocolate to harden and wrapped them in tiny bags with little gold ribbons on top.

I'm so weeeaaakk

*SOBS*
O. M. G.

Split up those 72 goodies and among us in this thread and send 'em out (be sure to include the OP Mods and SuperMods even if they haven't posted here)! We can PayPal you the money to buy a clear plastic bucket of cheap store-bought cookies for the office.

Feiss
12-18-2008, 11:40 PM
O. M. G.

Split up those 72 goodies and among us in this thread and send 'em out (be sure to include the OP Mods and SuperMods even if they haven't posted here)! We can PayPal you the money to buy a clear plastic bucket of cheap store-bought cookies for the office.

Lol. I should just NOM them all. Selfishness - the Spirit of Xmas

Feiss
12-18-2008, 11:41 PM
Typical accountant.


*re-reads post*

Hm. Some people might find that offensive.

Typical accountant.

Typical skirt.


that's better. :D

Huh? I don't get it.

*wanders off to brush her hair

Feiss
12-18-2008, 11:42 PM
No you don't. They really are just a big hassle and get in the way most of the time.

I've heard that b'c they're like two degrees cooler, it's like two sac(k)s of jello.

Personally, I imagine it's like having a bat nestling between one's thighs.

quickWit
12-18-2008, 11:43 PM
*wanders off to brush her hair*

Speaking of hair...I'm assuming you included hair in the cookie dough as a form of silent protest.

Fight the power. :)

James81
12-18-2008, 11:46 PM
I've heard that b'c they're like two degrees cooler, it's like two sac(k)s of jello.

Personally, I imagine it's like having a bat nestling between one's thighs.

lol

Actually, it's a great place to warm up your hands when they are cold.

Feiss
12-19-2008, 12:01 AM
lol

Actually, it's a great place to warm up your hands when they are cold.

women have crotches too you know

Feiss
12-19-2008, 12:02 AM
Speaking of hair...I'm assuming you included hair in the cookie dough as a form of silent protest.

Fight the power. :)

hair, moss, cheese, a bit of vomit.

quickWit
12-19-2008, 12:05 AM
hair, moss, cheese, a bit of vomit.

Cheese?


Ew. :)

James81
12-19-2008, 12:16 AM
women have crotches too you know

Also a great place to warm your hands in the winter.

Feiss
12-19-2008, 12:33 AM
Also a great place to warm your hands in the winter.

built-in pocket :)

James81
12-19-2008, 12:36 AM
built-in pocket :)

great place to store pens and stuff

Feiss
12-19-2008, 01:25 AM
great place to store pens and stuff

Really? They always fall out unless I clip them on.

Shadow_Ferret
12-19-2008, 01:50 AM
*goes back to see what they're talking about and regrets that decision immensely*