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Bravo
12-16-2008, 11:50 PM
it's time to get rid of your rom-com collection, billy:


Watching romantic comedies can spoil your love life, a study by a university in Edinburgh has claimed.

Rom-coms have been blamed by relationship experts at Heriot Watt University for promoting unrealistic expectations when it comes to love.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7784366.stm

Salem
12-16-2008, 11:51 PM
Not to mention they're sappy, annoying, whiny, too unrealistic, pathetic......

Yeshanu
12-16-2008, 11:53 PM
They didn't look deeply enough at the causes.

They should have started with Cinderella and Snow White.

By the time these women reach adulthood, their attitude is already set. The rom-coms are just affirming what they already believe to be true.

caromora
12-17-2008, 12:05 AM
Please. I find studies like that silly verging on offensive. All those poor little women who can't differentiate between reality and fantasy. :rolleyes:

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 12:05 AM
They actually needed to do a study to figure that out?

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 12:13 AM
Please. I find studies like that silly verging on offensive. All those poor little women who can't differentiate between reality and fantasy. :rolleyes:


But do they study men who expect women to care for the children, do all the housework, balance the budget on too little income, then greet them at the door in cling wrap, panting for sex? Of course not!

They blame the lack of sex on the women's unrealistic expectations, and expect them to give up the only real escape from drudgery that they have!

Grrr.

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 12:16 AM
But do they study men who expect women to care for the children, do all the housework, balance the budget on too little income, then greet them at the door in cling wrap, panting for sex? Of course not!

You've been reading my novels?

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 12:17 AM
:ROFL:

JoNightshade
12-17-2008, 12:19 AM
They didn't look deeply enough at the causes.

They should have started with Cinderella and Snow White.

Bingo. I never realized how insidiously awful these old Disney movies were until I watched a couple as an adult. My kids? Never getting a hold of these.

vixey
12-17-2008, 12:19 AM
I like to escape...in a book, in a movie, in my dreams. I don't care if it's rom-com, sci fi, horror, or whatever. Just get me the heck out of my reality sometimes.

So, for those who only watch SciFi how does this study apply to their expectations?

Bravo
12-17-2008, 12:20 AM
Please. I find studies like that silly verging on offensive. All those poor little women who can't differentiate between reality and fantasy. :rolleyes:

it says nothing of women, it's about anyone who watches chick-flicks.

Bravo
12-17-2008, 12:22 AM
So, for those who only watch SciFi how does this study apply to their expectations?

judging by the people i know who only watch scifi, yes.

i definitely believe that the things we watch and read and play affect us.

and once again, science proves me right.

it'll happen again, just wait.

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 12:22 AM
So, for those who only watch SciFi how does this study apply to their expectations?
In that case, I expect my alien woman to care for the children, do all the housework, balance the budget on too little income, then greet me at the door in cling wrap, panting for sex.

vixey
12-17-2008, 12:24 AM
In that case, I expect my alien woman to care for the children, do all the housework, balance the budget on too little income, then greet me at the door in cling wrap, panting for sex.

:e2moon:

There's your panting for sex! :D

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 12:28 AM
it says nothing of women, it's about anyone who watches chick-flicks.


Who, as someone who rips tickets on a regular basis, happen to be about 90% women, and 10% guys with girls who lost the fight about which movie to see.

I know the original post was light-hearted, Bravo, but it does say something serious about our society when women who watch rom-coms are told they have "unrealistic expectations" but men who want sex on demand are "normal."

And I do agree that rom-coms are unrealistic, as are romance novels, but that's why we view/read them. Who wants reality?

Bravo
12-17-2008, 12:34 AM
Who, as someone who rips tickets on a regular basis, happen to be about 90% women, and 10% guys with girls who lost the fight about which movie to see.


exactly.

so it's not because they're women that they're more susceptible to this, it's just that people who happen to watch rom-coms happen to have a particular problem with their love lives.

simple.

vixey
12-17-2008, 12:39 AM
:popcorn:

regdog
12-17-2008, 12:42 AM
And yet 'Donna Does the Delivery Man' is an acurate depiction?

Bravo
12-17-2008, 12:46 AM
i dunno, we'll have to ask delivery men.

Bravo
12-17-2008, 12:52 AM
i definitely believe that the things we watch and read and play affect us.



p.s. was this supposed to be "affect" or "effect" here?

DL Hegel
12-17-2008, 12:53 AM
my favorite chick flick is Alien

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 12:55 AM
judging by the people i know who only watch scifi, yes.

Yes, what? Tell me about those of us who only watch sci-fi.

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 01:12 AM
exactly.

so it's not because they're women that they're more susceptible to this, it's just that people who happen to watch rom-coms happen to have a particular problem with their love lives.

simple.


I'm a woman who watches rom-coms.

I have no problems with my love life.

I don't have a love life.

Wait a minute...










I think that proves your point...

TerzaRima
12-17-2008, 01:13 AM
In other news, the NIH today announced a link between heavy porn consumption and chronic disappointment in males.

rhymegirl
12-17-2008, 01:14 AM
Not to mention they're sappy, annoying, whiny, too unrealistic, pathetic......

Hey!!! Take that back.

Or I'll pick you up, spin your around seven times and flip you into the neighbor's yard. :)

Claudia Gray
12-17-2008, 01:22 AM
I disagree with the statement that "chick flicks rot your brain," mostly because these days, anything that (a) has any women in it for purposes other than wearing spandex and (b) involves more talking than explosions seems to be labeled a "chick flick" by default.

That said, all the romantic comedies named in this are BAD romantic comedies. Maybe it's just bad movies that rot the brain.

brokenfingers
12-17-2008, 02:05 AM
Well, as has been pointed out, porn rots your brain much worse than rom-coms. As well as other parts of your anatomy, I've heard.

scarletpeaches
12-17-2008, 02:12 AM
They didn't look deeply enough at the causes.

They should have started with Cinderella and Snow White.

By the time these women reach adulthood, their attitude is already set. The rom-coms are just affirming what they already believe to be true.

I love it when certain people on AW post. It means I'm all but guaranteed to agree with them.


Please. I find studies like that silly verging on offensive. All those poor little women who can't differentiate between reality and fantasy. :rolleyes:

They exist.

Some women watch chick-flicks and read Mills & Boon and not only believe shite like that happens; they expect it to.


Who, as someone who rips tickets on a regular basis, happen to be about 90% women, and 10% guys with girls who lost the fight about which movie to see.

I know the original post was light-hearted, Bravo, but it does say something serious about our society when women who watch rom-coms are told they have "unrealistic expectations" but men who want sex on demand are "normal."

And I do agree that rom-coms are unrealistic, as are romance novels, but that's why we view/read them. Who wants reality?

What about women who want sex on demand when they're in a relationship? Not that I've been for a while...


Well, as has been pointed out, porn rots your brain much worse than rom-coms. As well as other parts of your anatomy, I've heard.

I hope you're not talking peens here, 'cause it's not just men who watch porn. My brain is unrotted and so are my other bits. ;)

Fraulein
12-17-2008, 02:23 AM
Who wants reality?Successful people. (I couldn't think of any other way to say it.)

brokenfingers
12-17-2008, 02:24 AM
I hope you're not talking peens here, 'cause it's not just men who watch porn. My brain is unrotted and so are my other bits. ;)Wow, do you mean women don't get hairy palms like men do?

Who knew?!

Fraulein
12-17-2008, 02:25 AM
p.s. was this supposed to be "affect" or "effect" here?"affect"- it's being used as a verb

Pagey's_Girl
12-17-2008, 03:25 AM
I thought my expectations were realistic - that my guy wouldn't, say, sleep with anything with the appropriate plumbing behind my back and/or not hurl a Colt 45 bottle out a second-floor window at me for reasons I wasn't clear on at the time nor still am - but apparently they weren't. And I'm not even into chick flicks. Or Disney much, for that matter...

(I'm trying to be darkly funny here, but still - sometimes I wonder what "realistic expectations" actually are....)

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 10:16 AM
I thought my expectations were realistic - that my guy wouldn't, say, sleep with anything with the appropriate plumbing behind my back and/or not hurl a Colt 45 bottle out a second-floor window at me for reasons I wasn't clear on at the time nor still am - but apparently they weren't. And I'm not even into chick flicks. Or Disney much, for that matter...

(I'm trying to be darkly funny here, but still - sometimes I wonder what "realistic expectations" actually are....)

Pagey, if that's something you've experienced, then ((((hugs.)))) Aw heck! You can have the hugs anyhow.

Fraulein, as far as successful people wanting reality, I don't see that successful people particularly want reality so much as can face and deal with reality.

I face and deal with reality in my day-to-day life very effectively. But if I'm going to read a book or watch a movie, I most definitively DO NOT want one that reflects that day-to-day reality. Otherwise, why bother with it? I want one that makes me long for something better, so that I'm energized to go out and change the world because of it.

I read about a study done quite a while ago that said that romance novel readers tended to be more socially conscious than non-readers. That's part of what I'm getting at--there's a positive side to "non-realistic" entertainment that tends to be glossed over by "realists."

Joe270
12-17-2008, 10:40 AM
So why don't any fairy tales end 'unhappily ever after' in a run-down trailer park where the couple drinks too much, takes meth, has bad teeth, and has the cops break up their fist fights three times a week?

Prince-not-so-charming is only half the picture here, ladies, Sleeping-til-noon-Beauty-who-has-no-job-skills is a big part of it, too.

bluejester12
12-17-2008, 10:46 AM
Rom-coms themselves vary. I'm a hetero guy and I like them. Both genders do. When I think "chick flick" I think of something targeted mostly for women, like the upcoming Bridal Wars.

It's such a subjective label. Swingers, There's Something About Mary and The Wedding Singer are all, content-wise, rom-coms with male protagonists, and I love all three.


Never Been Kissed and Ever After are in my DVD collection near The Terminator and Die Hard.

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 12:57 PM
so it's not because they're women that they're more susceptible to this, it's just that people who happen to watch rom-coms happen to have a particular problem with their love lives.

Right. Next thing you know, people who watch violent movies are murderers... And people who watch sci-fi and fantasy can't function in real life. People like to escape with their entertainment -- nothing's wrong with that. To suggest people who like rom-coms or chick flicks have problems with their love lives is plain silly.

I know the whole "rot your brain" thing is supposed to be a joke, but seriously, so can stupid Will Ferrel comedies or slasher films. Or movies where an old guy (e.g. Clint Eastwood) gets the 20-something hot chick...

David Erlewine
12-17-2008, 02:31 PM
Look what romantic comedies have done to the Wilson boys. Can someone convert them - Clockwork Orange style - back to the Bottle Rocket mindset? Seeing them make shit rots my brain.

David Erlewine
12-17-2008, 02:32 PM
And please tell me you can watch Love, Actually and not consider heading for the mountains.

brokenfingers
12-17-2008, 07:59 PM
Romantic comedies are the only things that gives me hope in this cruel world.

WendyNYC
12-17-2008, 08:07 PM
And please tell me you can watch Love, Actually and not consider heading for the mountains.


Hey now. I liked that movie. And I'm still waiting for the Prime Minister to come and sweep me off my feet. Although I did hope for someone better looking than Gordon Brown.

Pagey's_Girl
12-17-2008, 08:12 PM
I know the whole "rot your brain" thing is supposed to be a joke, but seriously, so can stupid Will Ferrel comedies or slasher films. Or movies where an old guy (e.g. Clint Eastwood) gets the 20-something hot chick...

Um - Clint Eastwood isn't exactly the best example there. He's still pretty dang hot. (He's also CLINT EASTWOOD, fer cryin' out loud...)

Seriously, though, it's a good point. It's not so much what you watch (or read) for that matter,) it's when you start taking it too much to heart and thinking that's the way it always works out and things are always perfect from then on without any effort on anyone's part. That's when you're screwed.

(And for the record, I'll go see a stupid Will Ferrell comedy any day. "LET'S GO STREAKING THROUGH THE QUAD!" :D )

scarletpeaches
12-17-2008, 09:03 PM
Well I'm young and hot, and I would kick Clint Eastwood out of bed.

So there.

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 09:14 PM
I often wonder, when I read studies like these, if the people who conducted it just didn't have an ax to grind.

I mean, if you're a well-rounded, stable person it shouldn't matter WHAT you watch, Rom-Coms, horror, porn, whatever, it won't have any effect upon your psyche or world view.

However, if you already have "issues" then the fact that you watch Rom-Coms might be an extension of those problems and not the cause.

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 09:17 PM
Seriously, though, it's a good point. It's not so much what you watch (or read) for that matter,) it's when you start taking it too much to heart and thinking that's the way it always works out and things are always perfect from then on without any effort on anyone's part. That's when you're screwed.

I personally don't know anyone who takes rom-coms as the gospel of romance. They're "comedies" for a reason. Do I really think a dork could get the hot girl like Seth Rogen did in Knocked Up or Zach and Miri Made a Porno? It could happen, but I'm not counting on it.

I think in general people know the line between fantasy and real life. They don't really think elves and Middle Earth exist. Or vampires, for that matter. And there is no Batman or Wolverine. And relationships don't usually work out like romantic comedies. Of course there are people who take all that to heart: the Trekkies who think Spock is real, or the girls dreaming of one day having a vampire boyfriend like Edward in Twilight. To me, it has nothing to do with chick flicks or epic fantasy or any genre of movies or literature -- so to pin that on "chick flicks" is just silly.

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 09:20 PM
But brain eating zombies do exist and they're right outside my door!

help!

scarletpeaches
12-17-2008, 09:23 PM
But brain eating zombies do exist and they're right outside my door!

help!

You'll be safe then, won't you?

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 09:24 PM
But brain eating zombies do exist and they're right outside my door!

help!

You have to wait. Elizabeth Banks just knocked on my door....

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 09:25 PM
You'll be safe then, won't you?
Ray! Scarlet's being mean to me again!

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 09:27 PM
Ray! Scarlet's being mean to me again!

For once, I agree with her.

scarletpeaches
12-17-2008, 09:28 PM
Ray! Scarlet's being mean to me again!

Don't get butthurt, Fuzzface. I'm mean to everyone.


For once, I agree with her.

Right, that's it. I'm cancelling our liasion.

David Erlewine
12-17-2008, 09:28 PM
Hey now. I liked that movie. And I'm still waiting for the Prime Minister to come and sweep me off my feet. Although I did hope for someone better looking than Gordon Brown.

Laugh. I did like the scene where the guy kept having to sing the new version of his old song. I couldn't watch much more after that. Seriously. Really. I didn't watch it all. Okay then.

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 09:28 PM
For once, I agree with her.:eek:

Wow.

Just.

Wow.

:(

Whatever happened to us, Ray. We used to have something special.

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 09:31 PM
I personally don't know anyone who takes rom-coms as the gospel of romance.

I think in general people know the line between fantasy and real life. They don't really think elves and Middle Earth exist.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Okay, now you've pissed me off... :tongue


I often wonder, when I read studies like these, if the people who conducted it just didn't have an ax to grind.

I mean, if you're a well-rounded, stable person it shouldn't matter WHAT you watch, Rom-Coms, horror, porn, whatever, it won't have any effect upon your psyche or world view.

However, if you already have "issues" then the fact that you watch Rom-Coms might be an extension of those problems and not the cause.

I guess I've had a wee bit too much training in the scientific method (including courses on how to write tests that actually test what you're trying to test, and on how to conduct psychological research) to take any report of a study at face value. Some questions to ask about any study you read about in the paper:

1) Who actually paid to have the study done? Did they, in fact, have an axe to grind? Because there are plenty of examples, especially in the field of food products and medicine, where this is true. Studies of the harmful effects of artificial sweeteners, for example, have often been funded by the sugar industry.

2) How big was the study, and has it been repeated more than once? A study done with ten subjects is much less useful than a study done with ten thousand, and a study that can't be replicated by other researchers using the same method is probably inherently flawed.

3) What did the researchers use for control groups? In this case, did they have a control group of women with similar backgrounds (age, socio-economic status, education) who didn't see the movies to compare to? Did they have a group of men who saw these flicks as part of the study, as well as a group of men who didn't see them?

4) Did they measure before and after attitudes, or just after? Because one of the big mistakes the media makes is that correlation DOES NOT equal causation. That's the kind of thinking that says diet soda makes you fat because only fat people drink diet soda. But what if the causation is the other way around? In this study, that would mean that watching rom-coms doesn't give you unrealistic expectations for relationships, but that you watch them because you already had those unrealistic expectations.

5) Did the journalist accurately report what the researchers actually concluded? Journalists are infamous for taking facts that they're not competent to interpret, and interpreting them in any way that would make the best headline. That's why, if you're intending to change your life because of something a study said, you ought to at least read the original study in its entirety, and read the conclusions the researchers actually came to, rather than the one the journalist reported.

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 09:35 PM
Ray! Scarlet's being mean to me again!


But she's right (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3071787&postcount=3110)... :D

scarletpeaches
12-17-2008, 09:36 PM
And that was a thread I started! :D

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 09:37 PM
Hey! No fair quoting me from other threads! :(

Yeshanu
12-17-2008, 09:40 PM
All's fair in love and war, and rom-coms usually have both... :)

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 09:42 PM
So what are we at? Love or war?

scarletpeaches
12-17-2008, 09:42 PM
I say we fight a lot and then make up. :e2brows:

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 09:43 PM
Whatever happened to us, Ray. We used to have something special.

You don't look or shape like Elizabeth Banks. Need I say more? It's over, dude. Give me my mood ring back.

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 09:45 PM
So what are we at? Love or war?

I think you've stalled at the "make" part.

Shadow_Ferret
12-17-2008, 09:46 PM
I say we fight a lot and then make up. :e2brows:Anyone else I'd just blindly stumble in and go, "Oh, yeah!" but in your case, I'll say, "Who are you talking to?" :)


You don't look or shape like Elizabeth Banks. Need I say more? It's over, dude. Give me my mood ring back.

:cry:

Ray doesn't love me any more.

James81
12-17-2008, 09:49 PM
Let's not forget sitcoms (such as Home Improvement, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, Family Matters, Yes Dear, Two and Half Men, etc.) that all portray men as some bumbling idiots who are afraid of standing up to their wives and who are constantly screwing up and seeking their approval.

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 09:50 PM
:)
:cry:


I rest my case.

rhymegirl
12-17-2008, 09:51 PM
Let's not forget sitcoms (such as Home Improvement, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, Family Matters, Yes Dear, Two and Half Men, etc.) that all portray men as some bumbling idiots who are afraid of standing up to their wives and who are constantly screwing up and seeking their approval.

Yeah.

maestrowork
12-17-2008, 09:51 PM
Let's not forget sitcoms (such as Home Improvement, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, Family Matters, Yes Dear, Two and Half Men, etc.) that all portray men as some bumbling idiots who are afraid of standing up to their wives and who are constantly screwing up and seeking their approval.

Wrong thread.

James81
12-17-2008, 11:32 PM
Wrong thread.

Well then, how about this funny little comic (since I've already went off base here):

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/4066/friendsiw0.png

Captshady
12-18-2008, 12:00 AM
But do they study men who expect women to care for the children, do all the housework, balance the budget on too little income, then greet them at the door in cling wrap, panting for sex? Of course not!

They blame the lack of sex on the women's unrealistic expectations, and expect them to give up the only real escape from drudgery that they have!

Grrr.

Bitter, party of 1? :tongue

Bravo
12-18-2008, 05:44 AM
okay all kidding aside, let's get into a real discussion about this:

do other forms of entertainment affect people? yes, in different ways, but that's not what this thread was about so let's at least try to talk about rom-coms fairytale loves for a moment.

IMO, rom-coms are more susceptible to influencing the audience because by and large they run on a particular formula over and over and over again. girl is with a guy, but there's another guy who's actually better for her, so girl leaves her guy to go with her true love, her mystical, magical "one".

they continuously perpetuate the myth of finding this destined "one", as if the same problems in the relationship wont exist 6 months down the line and as if the person they are currently involved with wont get hurt by this decision. it's just this very selfish very narcissistic dreamworld that people try recreate all the time around me.


I mean, if you're a well-rounded, stable person it shouldn't matter WHAT you watch, Rom-Coms, horror, porn, whatever, it won't have any effect upon your psyche or world view.

i havent read the actual study yet, but this is from the article:


Students watching the romantic film were later found to be more likely to believe in fate and destiny. A further study found that fans of romantic comedies had a stronger belief in predestined love.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7784366.stm

and p.s. saying i watch rom-coms all the time and it doesnt affect me, isnt a very good way to counter the argument that affects some people a certain way.

Yeshanu
12-18-2008, 01:36 PM
okay all kidding aside, let's get into a real discussion about this:

*snip*

i havent read the actual study yet, but this is from the article:




Bravo, for a serious discussion, go back and read my post about the scientific method. Then find and read the study (and link to it, too) if you want a serious discussion about it.

My gut feeling about this is that either the researchers or the journalist have fallen into the "correlation equals causation" trap, or that the study is flawed by not having a proper control group, or even that the whole method is flawed.

Why do I think that? Because this article doesn't tell us whether a) attitudes were measured before and after watching the films, or b) whether attitudes were lasting over time or specific to a time frame immediately following the film, or c) who, if anyone, comprise the control group.

More likely than who to believe in fate and destiny? A "stronger belief in predestined love" than who? Themselves, three hours earlier? A carefully matched control group? A bunch of forty-eight-year-old cynics who have been through three divorces and a funeral?


Students watching the romantic film were later found to be more likely to believe in fate and destiny. A further study found that fans of romantic comedies had a stronger belief in predestined love.

Also note that the subjects of the study, as are the subjects of far too many psychological studies, were students.

Would you say that a psychological study done on an eighteen-year-old freshman in any way represents how you see the world?

That's why I don't believe that we should discuss or take this study terribly seriously. It's simply not good science, at least as it's been reported.