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Bravo
12-13-2008, 09:07 AM
i have a relative over and i gotta say, his political worldview is driving me nuts.

i try to be very civil and diplomatic about things, but i just can't hold my tongue and almost always have to bring my own counter-points to the discussion. let's just say it can be problematic sometimes.

the rest of this weekend, i plan on only discussing the freezing rain outside.

Yeshanu
12-13-2008, 09:37 AM
It got so bad at our gatherings a while back that we've created a list of "topics not to be discussed over the dinner table."

Just tell your relative that he's not going to convince you of the rightness of his views, and you accept that you're not going to convert him to your way of seeing things, so you will refuse to discuss politics with him from that moment forward, in the interests of enjoying his visit and his company. Surely both he and you have other interests that you are more aligned on.

MoonWriter
12-13-2008, 10:59 AM
forget about it. get him durnk. I got just back from a Chirtsmas party and it's the first time I drank in you gruess, I can't remember, six months or more not counting a few beers every other couple weeks. But hard liquor. S0 all I'm saying is offer hime a few and don't talk about politics - simple as that. Right/?

NeuroFizz
12-13-2008, 06:05 PM
He's a relative.
He's relative.

robeiae
12-13-2008, 06:27 PM
He's a relative.
He's relative.
General or Special?

Komnena
12-13-2008, 07:16 PM
I feel your pain, Bravo.

StephanieFox
12-13-2008, 08:37 PM
I hate to say this, but hold your tongue. Smile and nod. If he is civil enough not to engage, then show him how those of us on the left can do the same. Talk about baseball. Talk about movie stars. Talk about literature. Talk about puppycam. Don't talk politics.

donroc
12-13-2008, 09:28 PM
Arguing over actors, opera singers, prima ballerinas, athletes, cars, and literature can be as bloody a sport as politics. It's the person you are arguing with not the subject, and in families long time hostilities and resentments can rise during any conversation.

I recall at a family dinner when I was in my early teens my three aunts getting nasty and personal beyond the subject: who was Joan Crawford's third husband?

Darzian
12-13-2008, 10:18 PM
I've had one friendship go sour over politics. I'm not discussing politics with anyone I am very friendly with ever again. I shall also declare the same to said friendly person.

Some people just have to broadcast their opinions around the country.

mscelina
12-13-2008, 10:31 PM
I always manage to forestall those arguments with the question, "So how about those *insert the butthead's favorite losing team* these days?"

This year, it will be easy. As soon as one of my not-so-smart uncles starts babbling about Obama, I'll go, "So, how 'bout them Vols this year?"

And then I'll be treated to a two hour diatribe abot quarterback suckitude and why they should/shouldn't have fired Phil Fulmer. I'll argue with them, and we'll all be happy.

But I will get to avoid my relatives discussing a topic which, in the grand scheme of things, they know absolutely nothing about save whatever BS their preachers have told them.

NeuroFizz
12-14-2008, 12:17 AM
General or Special?
Depends on how fast his mind is...

regdog
12-14-2008, 12:23 AM
Sympathy Bravo, I think your best bet would be to just tell your relative you prefer not to have policital discussions and if he continues just keep changing the subject.


My dad and I have polar opposite politcal views and he is probably the only person I'll argue politics with. When it comes to discussing or arguing politics with anyone else I just change the subject.

NeuroFizz
12-14-2008, 12:28 AM
...and you could always take him to a tittie bar. Arguments take a back seat to the placement of one-dollar bills.

Maryn
12-14-2008, 02:47 AM
Reminds me of the time my mom and her co-workers treated me to the male strip club...

Oh, right, this was about talking politics. Never mind.

Maryn, awash in memories

Komnena
12-14-2008, 06:22 AM
It can be really awkward when your political views differ from your family's.

Bravo
12-14-2008, 07:12 AM
part of the problem is that there comes a point where people realize that my political views differ from theirs. liberals and conservatives alike have gotten extremely annoyed with some of my positions.

but really, i try to keep most of my opinions to myself. it's just that every once in awhile someone blames poverty on laziness or wants to impose their own morality on the rest of the world and i just have to say something.

it's my curse.

Unique
12-14-2008, 07:42 AM
part of the problem is that there comes a point where people realize that my political views differ from almost everyone. liberals and conservatives alike have gotten extremely annoyed with some of my positions.
.
unique views of the universe

It can be really awkward when your political views differ from your family's.
Like being the only (D) in an all (R) family. Not fun.

Just tell your relation, 'Don't make the baby Jesus cry on His birthday.'
and smile a lot.

mscelina
12-14-2008, 08:11 AM
part of the problem is that there comes a point where people realize that my political views differ from almost everyone. liberals and conservatives alike have gotten extremely annoyed with some of my positions.

but really, i try to keep most of my opinions to myself. it's just that every once in awhile someone blames poverty on laziness or wants to impose their own morality on the rest of the world and i just have to say something.

it's my curse.

That's not a curse, Bravo. That's the responsibility you bear as an intellectual being. You should never have to apologize for that...nor should you dread it. You're a smart man with well-reasoned opinions. If your family can't respect that, then I'd say that's their problem really.

You should never feel like you have to keep your opinions to yourself. I understand your problem and I share it. When my older brother came out, I was the one who was ostracized because I knew and didn't condemn him for it. That was the moment that I realized that as long as I actually thought about such things, that as long as I actually cared about such things it was sort of an obligation to speak up when someone else--even someone I love-spoke out of ignorance or hatred.

I hate it for you that this situation hurts you so, because anyone can see that it does and understand why it would. Just remember, dear, it's the people like you who care enough to speak up that ultimately affect change in this world of ours. Your family may never understand that. You need to.

*and then you need to learn to agree with me because I am always right*

;)

You'll do just fine.

BenPanced
12-14-2008, 08:51 AM
If you can't discuss politics, talk about sex. With lots of adjectives and onomatopoeia.

SPMiller
12-14-2008, 09:09 AM
I'm fortunate enough to have a decent sense of when to hold my tongue and when not to. My particular combination of politics and religious nonbelief is unique in my family. Some of them can tolerate it; others can't. Get a good sense for those in the latter group and change the subject whenever one of the restricted topics comes up.

2old2pb
12-14-2008, 11:07 AM
There is no real reason to talk if there is not an ear to hear unless you just like hearing yourself talk. I have no use for oration during a party. Just someone doing it says that their opinion is more important than yours. This is the one reason I avoided command Christmas parties like the plague. Inevitably the CO, XO and CMC get up and spew their garbage opinions to a captive audience. Peace and goodwill to men.

Fraulein
12-14-2008, 11:47 AM
part of the problem is that there comes a point where people realize that my political views differ from theirs. liberals and conservatives alike have gotten extremely annoyed with some of my positions.

but really, i try to keep most of my opinions to myself. it's just that every once in awhile someone blames poverty on laziness or wants to impose their own morality on the rest of the world and i just have to say something.

it's my curse.I highly recommend combating 'ignorant' arguments with an exception to the 'rule'. Here's an example:
Family member (Fm): "Poor people are just lazy. If they would just get up off of the butts, then they could make a decent living, and I wouldn't have to pay for their welfare."
Bravo: "I guess we don't needs janitors then. They must be too busy cleaning up other people's messes to go out and find a real job."
Fm: "Well, I wasn't talking about janitors. I was talking about LAZY, poor people."
Bravo: "Rich people don't smoke cigars and drink scotch on Saturday afternoons. They're too busy working."
Fm: "I was talking about LAZY, POOR people. Who said anything about lazy, rich people?"
Bravo: "You mean like Wal-mart cashiers? They stand up all day long, and they don't get paid very well."
Fm: "You don't get what I'm trying to say."
Bravo: "I guess not. How's Aunt Susie's fruitcake this year?"

Watcha think?

regdog
12-14-2008, 04:06 PM
If you can't discuss politics, talk about sex. With lots of adjectives and onomatopoeia.

:roll:

Komnena
12-14-2008, 10:04 PM
unique views of the universe

Like being the only (D) in an all (R) family. Not fun.

Just tell your relation, 'Don't make the baby Jesus cry on His birthday.'
and smile a lot.

I've been R in a D family. No fun either. Being the outsider never is, I think. Maybe you and I are each other's changelings.

Godfather
12-14-2008, 10:18 PM
i'll be honest. i love political confrontation when its extremely unnecessary.

maestrowork
12-14-2008, 10:28 PM
I'm one of those lazy, poor people. Can I have $50, Aunty Trudy?

My motto on family gatherings: keep the conversation short and about stuff like the weather and food and Aunt Trudy's annual fruitcakes. Anything else, I'm trying too hard.

Fraulein
12-15-2008, 04:42 AM
I'm one of those lazy, poor people. Can I have $50, Aunty Trudy?

My motto on family gatherings: keep the conversation short and about stuff like the weather and food and Aunt Trudy's annual fruitcakes. Anything else, I'm trying too hard.We have fruitcakes in the fridge already! :tongue

Shadow_Ferret
12-15-2008, 07:10 AM
i have a relative over and i gotta say, his political worldview is driving me nuts.

Considering your own worldview, I'd think this would be a common occurrence in your life and you'd be used to it, relatives or otherwise.

:tongue

bsolah
12-15-2008, 07:43 AM
Try being a Socialist in any family gathering.


Uncle: Are you a ^$#%# Commo!

And other such compliments.

My Dad's a unionist, so I'll latch onto him for most of Christmas, whilst making snarky remarks at my other uncle (CEO of Sydney buses) about his company getting screwed by the union, and probably some more snarky remarks at my cousin coz he's a racist, and mentioning sex to peeve off my Christian fundi sister.

I'm so nice :tongue

Fraulein
12-15-2008, 09:10 AM
I had to watch the Republican National Convention after evacuating for Hurricane Gustav. At that time, I almost lost it... The hurricane stress plus the cabin fever plus the "I guess you don't eat this. Why can't you just take the meat out? I just can't understand it." comments plus the moronic comments of Sarah Palin (pitbull garbage). It was just too much!

For me, I'm worried about their Christmas Eve party this year. I have to work a lovely 9-5 shift that day, and I'll probably be fairly cranky afterwards, so I might just stay home instead of being one-upped by a know-it-all lawyer and offended by insensitive meateaters. (These are my bf's folks, by the way.)

Pagey's_Girl
12-15-2008, 05:56 PM
It's been ugly at work since the election. The one very outspoken McCain supporter is still nursing a ginormous grudge, and he's only getting nastier about it. My boss insists he's harmless, but I don't know. It's getting to the point where I'm afraid to even say "good morning," because I know it's going to set off another long, drawn-out, vitriolic anti-Obama diatribe. I mean, come on - my candidate lost the two prior elections, and no, I wasn't happy, but I put on my big-girl panties and dealt with it like an actual grownup....

My goal is to be out of here and at a better job before the inauguration. I do not want to be around this place anymore after that....