AW's Day of Listening - Interviews Thread

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Stew21

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thanks for participating in the AW Day of Listening!


Interview Index
Stew21 interviews Robeiae
thethinker42 interviews ESKIMO1990 and KUWISDELU
Stew21 interviewing William Haskins
Quickwit interviewing Saritams8
quickWit interviewing cray
Chattering With the Chihuahua--mscelina Interviews Haggis
william haskins interviews jason tudor and lives to tell the tale.
Ray interviews Jay III
Ray interviews Serenity
Ray interviews auntybug
Maternal Instincts--Mary Misenor, alias Soccer Mom (by Celina Summers)
Shadow Ferret (by vixey)
quickWit (by vixey)
Bayou Bill (by vixey)
Jason interviews DClary
Vixey Interview (by Shadow Ferret)
MSCelina Interview (by Shadow Ferret)
Yeshanu Interview (by Shadow Ferret)
Eskimo1990 interviews thethinker42
Fishing for Facts--A Conversation With Silver King (by Celina Summers)
Yeshanu interviews scarletpeaches
Yeshanu interviews wrightmor
Yeshanu interviews Shady Lane
Yeshanu interviews smsarber
Aruna interviews Laurie Ashton.
Aruna's interview with Maestrowork
IdiotsRUs aka Julia (by HeronW)
Reigningcatsndogs aka Mary (by HeronW)
regdog interviews Darzian
regdog interviews Ken
regdog interviews Susie
Eskimo1990 interviews melaniehoo
Eskimo1990 interviews jannawrites
Eskimo1990 interviews Serenity
Nakhlasmoke, AKA Cat (by IdiotsRUs)
On A Journey - My Interview With Godfather (by kdnxdr)
Interview with RegDog (by Susie)
Interview with Kitrianna (Kit) (by Susie)
OFG's Interview with OFB's Grandmother
OFG's Interview with Her Grandmother
Aruna's Interview with jcomp
Interview with Shelly, a.k.a. Shwebb (by ElaraSophia)
Williebee's Audio Interview with Stew21
Perks' Audio Interview with Williebee
artist and writer--a view askew--interview with Lostgirl (by DL Hegel)
horror hound trilogy--an interview with Pike (by DL Hegel)
horror hound trilogy--an interview with Callalily61 (by DL Hegel)
horror hound trilogy--an interview with slcboston (by DL Hegel)
From Venezuela I bring you Maxmordon (by Kitrianna)
The beautiful woman who is AW's Tiger Tyrant (by Kitrianna)
Jason interviews ChaosTitan
Jason interviews AW's Server
III’s interview with Norman D Gutter a.k.a. David Todd
Sara's Interview with Alleycat
Sara's Interview with Kimmi
My Interview with Donkey (by kdnxdr)
Magdalen's interview with Meerkat
Swine Before Pearls, Part 1: my interview with aruna (by poetinahat)
Swine Before Pearls, Part 2: my interview with Perks (by poetinahat)
Swine Before Pearls, Part 3: my interview with Ganesha (by poetinahat) COMING SOON
Cranky Interviews SPMiller
Conversation With A Digital Medievalist (by Cranky)
Stew21 interviewing Poetinahat
smsarber interviews euclid
Sara's Audio Interview of Clockwork
euclid interviews Puma
Susie interviews brad b
 
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Stew21 interviews Robeiae

You’re a Jack-Of-All-Trades, Rob. When we first met here on AW, I saw “the funny Rob". Sharp rapid-fire wit - the guy I’d want to have a beer with and quote movies line for line. That personality was mixed with this serious, politically and socially-minded Rob, they guy I wouldn’t want to cross in debate (so didn’t). The other parts of your personality make themselves known on closer acquaintance: the writer, the sentimental sap, the auto parts specialist, the caring and sincere friend. All together: intriguing.
The questions I could ask could never span all of the trivia, critical theories and vast random info stored in your head, so I’m going to pick on a few.

Welcome to my Ode to Robeiae Randomness:

You’ve had several very diverse occupations in your life including auto parts specialist and financial planner.
Name some of the others.
Which was your favorite?


I've worked in the grocery business, from stocking to management. And I've worked as contract killer. Really, that's about it.

I loved the grocery business, though. If I didn't have to deal with boneheads above me and below me, I would have never left.

Who is your favorite philosopher?

Well, I'm the last of the Hobbesians, so I guess it's an easy question to answer: Voltaire.

Nah, it's Hobbes. Followed by too many to list, though Plato and Han Fei Tzu are right there.

Choose your favorite historical era. Why is it your favorite?
What do you mean? My favorite historical era for studying is certainly Alexander to the Roman Republic. Isn't that everyone's?

But my favorite historical era in terms of wishing I could have been there is probably the early twentieth century. Really, I was born too late. I was made to be walking through the the pre and post war remnants of the British Empire, European colonialism in Africa, and the like.

What is the best sitcom of all time?

I'd say Seinfeld, but it's not really a sitcom. Ask Poetinahat...

But the best? I'd say the race was between MASH, All in the Family, and Cheers. In the end, Cheers wins, because it never tried to be anything more than a comedy.

Who was the most bad-ass US President? Why do you think so?

Andy Jackson. Anyone that thinks different doesn't know beans about the Presidents.

Jackson brilliantly walked a line in the Nullification Crisis of the 1830's that I believe few others could have held. He staved off war, yet so many historians insist on painting him as less-than-smart. Remember, read history but never trust historians.

You can travel back in time to see one live concert. The year you go back to is 1976. Which band do you choose to see?

I don't know. I'm friggin old, now. I'd say Zeppelin or Skynard, but I don't wanna get stoned, anymore. And I certainly don't want to be shoulder to shoulder with sweaty, drunk cretins that badly need showers and haircuts.

Maybe Linda Ronstadt...

Of course, if you'd given me a few more years to go back, I would have said The Doors, anyway.

You spend a good deal of your AW time in politics, music and movie forums. Tell us about the “writer-you” that brought you to AW. What are the aspirations of this writer? What are you working on now?

I believe I have five books in my head, right now, waiting to come out. Two are non-fiction, three are fiction. It's fiction that I'm struggling with at the moment. But the baby and kids suck away all the time I once had, so I'm managing to get very little done. Plus, I have to keep schooling the P&CE crowd...

But I hope to finish the first fiction book in the next year, get it published, win the Nobel Prize, sell the film rights for a gazillion dollars, let my wife quit working, and have the time and notoriety to write and publish my non-fiction and force academia to restructure their history, economics, and political science departments across the board, while forcing them to eliminate sociology as a discipline completely.

Which came first:
You love to debate. Did you learn a lot about a lot of things to enable you to debate on nearly any topic or do you debate because you just happen to know so much about so many things that are worth debating?


Good question. My parents read--and still do--like the Dickens (and the Longfellow). So, I've always read, fiction and nonfiction. But I've always been a smart ass, too.

Beyond that, I think all the time. Seriously. I think when I'm driving. I think when I'm watching TV. Hell, I think I think when I'm having sex.

I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I believe I think deeply about things far more than most people. Far more. I strive to make connections: my views on abortion, for instance, are--in my mind--completely consistent with my views on international trade. Really. Don't laugh.

So, I've kinda got built in bullet points for pretty much any subject. Does that make sense?

You love words. You use them as tools to educate, debate, provide exact understanding, and to communicate as clearly as possible. You also use them as playthings, and use humor as precisely as you debate. So which requires more brain power for you: using words in a serious way or a humorous one?

A serious way, no doubt. In my view, humor is best when it comes naturally, without too much forethought. Obviously, different people are better at different sorts of humor.

You recently listed these as your part of the AW list of the top 100 singers:
1) Marvin Gaye
2) Martha Reeves
3) Linda Ronstadt
4) Ian Gillian
5) Buddy Holly
6) Hank Williams (not Jr.)
7) Gregg Allman
8) Steve Winwood
9) Aretha Franklin
10) Otis Redding
11) Barbra Streisand
12) Neil Diamond
13) Dean Martin
14) Stevie Wonder
15) Steve Perry
16) Steven Tyler
17) Bowie
18) Mercury
19) Sting
20) Paul Simon
Your diverse taste in music seems to be representative of your diverse taste in nearly every artistic endeavor – either as a participant or an observer. You have a sharp critical eye, and express the opinion very pointedly. This takes a lot of skill – to not only know you like or dislike something but to understand why.

Did someone help you develop such inclusion and open-mindedness in all things artistic or is it something that stems from natural curiosity?
How did you develop the tastes and critical eye (or ear) with which you experience and critique these things?

Wow, that's a long question.

But look, while my musical tastes are far-ranging, not all my tastes are. Take art (as in painting and sculpture), for instance. I'm very traditional. I like very little modern art. I don't much care for Picasso or Rembrandt. But really, this kind of art is not all that important to me, regardless.

But I guess in my heart--despite my analytical robes--I'm Dionysian, ala Nietzsche.

"Et in Arcadia ego" means what to you?

I'm on an island. I see the past and I see the future--or least the roads that lead there. As I once pointed out to Mac, I'm the biggest iconoclast I know. It's not always apparent, but it's there.

A self-description from your blog: “I'm arrogant, judgmental, overly critical, cynical, and sarcastic in the extreme.” How do you reconcile that with being such a darn nice guy?

Know thyself. A better philosophy of life has never been given.

Favorite Mel Brooks movie?

Blazing Saddles, by far.

Why do you hate Alan Alda?

Because he destroyed Hawkeye Pierce as a character. He was okay in the beginning, but eventually MASH became the Alan Alda Moral Superiority Show. Unforgivable.

If you were a movie, what would your theme song be?

What?!!!??

I don't know. If I were a movie, would anyone come to see me?

But I guess, Midnight Rider by the Allman Brothers...
It doesn't fit so well, know that I have kids, however.

I know you love that you can be a stay-at-home dad.
What is the greatest reward?
What’s the hardest part?


Greatest reward? Easy: watching the the wonder and awe in a childs eyes as he/she grows into the world.

Hardest part? Really, there isn't one. I don't mind laundry or cleaning. I've got it easy.

If someone used you as a model for a comic book character, what would the character’s name be and what is the premise?
Buck Naked?

Hmmm...I guess my character in a comic book would be some kind of government ops analyst. I'd be the guy with the info that the superhero needs. Bobby Cruncher?

Favorite quote from the movie Bull Durham?

You already know what it is.

Trish Comment: {yes. I suppose I do.) :)

It’s karaoke night again. All of your favorite songs are in the book. You pick three and carefully write down the numbers and titles on the little slips of paper. Each one that you sing is dedicated to someone. What are the songs and who are they dedicated to?
Maybe I'm Amazed--my wife
Long-haired Country Boy--a couple of my good buddies
Hold on Loosely--you

Don't look so surprised. You knew that was coming, too.
 
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thethinker42 interviews ESKIMO1990 and KUWISDELU

ESKIMO1990:
In your profile, you say you're doing Civil Air Patrol. What does that entail, why does it interest you, and...anything else?

Civil Air Patrol is an auxiliary of the Air Force. We do drill and learn leadership and aerospace. I'm not really sure at this moment as to why it interests me. I have kind of lost the motivation I had when I first joined back in October of last year. But I do get to go flying, which is always fun and definitely a thrill to a experience
If money, time, and hassle were not part of the equation, what's one place in the world you would want to visit and why?
I would LOVE to visit Italy. My dad's side of the family is Italian and Italian is a huge part of my life so I would love to see where my great grandparents came from.
Any particular place/city/region? Where did your great grandparents come from? No not really. I am unsure of where they came from at this moment. But I think to tour Italy would be amazing.
Same as #2, but where would you want to LIVE?
Hmmm...that's a tough one. Probably somewhere that was warm but not SO warm that they didn't have snow on the ground near Christmas. Probably anywhere that was not Michigan would work for me...I hate the winters here.
In terms of your writing, what would you say is your biggest strength? Biggest weakness?
Hmmm biggest weakness is definitely the fact I have yet to finish anything worth editing Hmmm biggest strength...according to my friends I just have this way of drawing you in and making you addicted to what I'm writing.
What's one thing that you just don't understand about people?
Drama. I will never understand why people create so much and why it seems some people strive on drama and hurting other people.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Ten years from now I see myself being 27, nearly 28. Married and having at least one kid. Possibly still in college as I plan to complete one major and then start the next one. Hopefully working at a High School being an English Teacher.
What two majors do you plan on studying? Are you going to do them simultaneously or one after the other? What made you want to become an English teacher?I plan on doing Literature with a secondary certificate in Teaching. And Creative Writing. I'm doing them one after another. I love writing (obviously) but I knew I needed something to fall back on in case this didn't work. English was the best option for me and I love reading, writing and all things to do with English (well expect maybe grammar haha)
If you were stuck on a deserted island, and could take ONE luxury item with you, what would it be?
Hmm tough one. My laptop(but only if I had internet and a solar battery lol)
Love or money?
Love. Love. Love. All the way. I'd rather be poor and be loved and know what love is then to be rich and never knowing what love is.
Do you write mostly short stories or novels? Have you finished any? Published? Let us know how your WIP's are coming along. NOW!
Novels generally though I have written a few short stories. I have finished no novels and a few short stories (but again nothing worth editing) I am currently working on a story however I am stuck...
What is one thing you are exceptionally proud
of?
Wow. I don't even know. I cannot think of one thing in my life currently that I am exceptionally proud of. It seems I have made too many mistakes. Although I am proud of myself fro bringing my grades up last year, but I am nowhere near exceptionally proud of that.
Have you considered going military after high school?
I have considered it briefly. But I'm still unsure if I could actually make it in the military. If I end up going I will definitely be going into the Air Force.

And second - KUWISDELU:
Originally Posted by thethinker42
I will probably ask more questions after this first round...so...deal.

In your profile, you say you're living a life "strangely similar to F. Scott Fitzgerald's"...'splain pleeze.

You're starting off pretty personal...although you probably didn't know that. After the sex thread, though, what does it matter?

Well, I have a Zelda, of course. My girlfriend slash fiancee, Sasha (nickname). We met in high school, and she fell in love with me from my writing. She lived with her mother, who was physically and emotionally abusive and hated me, so we never really got to see one another very much. As a result, we wrote a ton of letters back and forth, like Scott and Zelda. We snuck out together and saw each other behind her mother's back. Before an ice-skating accident, she used to be a dancer like Zelda. As a result of the abuse, among other things, Sasha eventually wound up in a mental hospital for some time after a suicide attempt. Similarly, Zelda spent the last years of her life in a sanitarium, ultimately dying in a fire in her room, which is one of Sasha's greatest fears. Fortunately, that's not our case, and she's out now and we live together .

She is my muse, and the vast majority of my writing is somehow based on us, much like the autobiographical qualities of Scott's writing. In fact, in my first novel, I wrote several scenes that take place in a mental hospital. When she got out, I discovered my scenes mirrored her experience eerily closely. My heroines are based on her, and I largely credit her for making me "good." The first short story that really reflects the style with which I now write can be credited to when I was first falling in love with her. She frequently complains, though, that I too often portray her as a whore

Like Scott, when I eventually publish, it will be a result of her consistent nagging to send stuff out. Like Scott, I steal things from her. A little known fact about Fitzgerald is that many of his short stories are thought to be plagiarized from Zelda's writings. Of course, I don't do that...but we both write, and sometimes I have used a journal entry of hers or a fragment she's written as an inspiration for jumping off. And she always comments on my stealing her life to turn her into characters.

And also like Scott, I am slowly developing an alcohol problem (Don't worry, I'm mostly joking!)



If money, time, and hassle were not part of the equation, what's one place in the world you would want to visit and why?

I would become a pirate.

Actually, I'm not sure. I love Zuni, where my tribe is from, and where I spent most of my childhood summers, but I wouldn't visit somewhere I've already been, right?

Wait.

I remember now.

Mt. Everest.

It's always been my dream to climb it.

Same as #2, but where would you want to LIVE? That's a tough one. I really don't think I could live one place for the rest of my life.

I'll say the back of a car.



Ultimate Writing Dream: "write like sex". Expand on this, por favor.
It's my favorite compliment to get when someone reads my work. That I "write like sex." My writing dream is for everyone to describe my writing like that.

You know the feeling, the orgasmic high, the post-orgasmic after-glow like you could melt? I want the feeling of reading my prose to be like that. To make people say, "I want to have sex with these words!"


Did you know that my birthday is 2 days before yours? (ok...2 days and 9 years...) No?



In terms of your writing, what would you say is your biggest strength? Biggest weakness?
Biggest strength? Oh, I don't know. I'd say voice or style. I think I have a pretty good grasp on the rhythm of my words and how to craft crazy images.

My biggest weakness is definitely dialogue. Every once in a while, I'll nail it. But most of the time, I need my Zelda to look it over and help me polish it, because fortunately for me, she is a master at dialogue.

What's one thing that you just don't understand about people?
Seriously? Everything! I have Asperger's, so social conventions, subtle gestures and other nonverbal communication, all these things confuse the hell out of me! I also have trouble empathizing with people--I'm compassionate, but I have trouble with empathy; mostly because I often can't see past some people's inability to think beyond their emotions and respond to a situation logically.



Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
As a famous writing living in a penthouse in Chicago or Portland or some nice city in Europe.

Or more likely, in some office doing statistical work while staying up late at night to drink, smoke, and write. Then fuck until morning.



Since you were quite involved with the John/Hooker thread, what's one thing you took away from it? i.e., something you learned, something that piqued your interest, etc?
I learned if I could be as quick-witted and articulate in-person as I am on the internet, the girls would be all over me. Good thing I'm a writer and not a public speaker.

I also enjoyed your insight into the swinging scene. As someone who met his soulmate early on, Sasha and I have a mutual interest in sex beyond two people. Thought since our university is such a sausage-fest, it would be rather unfair to indulge in that at this time...


Boxers or briefs?
Boxer-briefs


And as for my username...

Kuwisdelu is one of my middle names, after my great-grandfather. Kuwisdelu Walela was his full name. It's a Zuni name. Also interesting is my great-great-grandfather's, who was apparently important enough that he shows up on the tribal census simply as "Old Man Zuni."

Originally Posted by thethinker42
With some added ideas from scarletpeaches...

If you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
Sex, drugs, and killing spree.


Cats or dogs?
I love both. I have a cat, but we plan on getting a dog when we move somewhere that allows them.



Beer, wine, or liquor?
Wine and liquor.

I'm not the biggest fan of beer. Once in a while I'll enjoy a Guinness or something, but I don't really like most beer.

I'm still learning to be a wine snob. I haven't tasted nearly widely enough to call myself one yet. I'm a fan of Vouvray and Chianti, though.

When it comes to hard liquor, I'm a scotch and gin man. Only the good (or, on a college student's budget, decent) stuff, though. I won't waste my money on cheap liquor.



What are you most afraid of?
Failure.


Who is cooler: thethinker42 or scarletpeaches?
I plead the fifth!


What's the most important life lesson you've ever learned?
That's a tough one. I'm not sure.

I'm tempted to say something about trusting people and judging them, but I don't think I will.

Instead I'll go with this. Life is too short not to take time to enjoy it, but also to short to waste.


Do you procrastinate?
Oh yes. Compares to most students, I procrastinate big time. But not nearly as much as my friends--I hang out with some of the most overachieving slackers you've ever seen...



Theatre or watch at home, and why?

Depends on the movie.

Some movies, like Dark Knight, X-Files, Watchmen, anything with Johnny Depp, etc., I'll either want very badly to see on the big screen, or just won't be able to wait until it comes to DVD.

Some I'll wait for the DVD. And of course, the previously mentioned, I'll buy the DVD and watch it again.


Blame scarletpeaches for this one: Would you rather fuck the Bride of Wildenstein, or eat shit?

Ahh!

Fuck the Bride of Wildenstein. But I get a paper bag. For multiple reasons.

Or I'll steal scarletpeaches' blindfold.



What kind of car do you drive? What kind of car do you WISH you drove?
I don't have a car. When I do drive, it's either my friend's Civic or my father's Accord.

If I could drive anything, I'd have this, this or this.



Would you rather live somewhere prone to hurricanes or earthquakes?
Earthquakes. Books and laptops can take a beating. Water damage screws them over.



Name one - and only one - crazy thing you did in high school.
Lost my virginity in the school auditorium on the catwalks over the stage.


What is the weirdest thing you've ever experienced?
Probably enough weird things that this actually feels kind of mundane...nonetheless, it's still kind of a mindfuck to me...but my girlfriend expressing sexual interest in my ex-girlfriend probably tops the list.



From scarlet again: If you had a choice of superpowers, would you rather have flight or invisibility? Flight. I've always wanted to fly.



Who would win a fight: Batman or Superman? Please provide reasons.

Batman.

Because he's the motherfucking batman.

He's so awesome he could poop kryptonite and bring superman to his knees.

Kids - maybe, never, eventually, definitely, not a chance? Maybe. Not now, definitely.

It's hard to say what we'll be doing in a few years. We're still conflicted between having our own child and adoption at this point, too.


If all drugs were legal, but you could only do ONE, what would it be and why?
Assuming cigarettes and alcohol don't count and all legal drugs don't count either...

Either 2,5-dimethoxy-4-chloroamphetamine or lysergic acid diethylamide.

That is, DOC or LSD. Both a hallucinogens. I've only ever had experience with the former.

Why? Because marijuana just isn't quite worth it. Because cocaine doesn't do anything for me. Because heroin and meth are too dangerous.

I'd go with some kind of hallucinogen because of the imagery and, IMO, the most worthwhile.


Since you're a student: what class have you taken that most influenced/inspired/etc you? What class was the biggest waste of time, money, or brain cells?
Influential and inspirational?
Nothing from college yet. I'd say either my creative writing class from high school, or one of my English classes. My writing and junior English class were taught by a great guy. He was very easy-going and most of the students never quite appreciated him, because his classes tended to be easy A's. Despite that, though, he's an incredibly smart and well-read guy who always encouraged me.

My teacher from my freshman English class, whose homeroom I later joined, and who was also sponsor of the school paper was also great. She always encouraged me and was there in times of stress and turmoil. Her hair's graying now, but she'd been a hippie in her youth, and still had a massive crush on Johnny Depp.



Simpsons or South Park?
South Park. Simpsons is good, but it's getting pretty stale. South Park is still fresh and hilarious as ever. Plus the Jew is named after me! I think two of the recent episodes "About Last Night..." about Obama the jewel thief, and "The Ungroundable," about this vampire craze are two of my most favorite episodes ever.

If thethinker42 and scarletpeaches had a fight, who would win and why? (you've already used the 5th amendment, so you have to answer this one)
Damn. I'll say that I'll suppose thethinker42 has picked up some moves from her cop and navy man which would allow her to come out on top. Unless Colin Farrel was anywhere in sight, in which case it'd be no contest and scarletpeaches would take her down.
 
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Stew21

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Stew21 interviewing William Haskins

15a319f.jpg


When I thought about the questions I would most like to ask you for this interview, they all seemed to revolve around one thing. Love. Bear with me.

Well, anyone who knows me will tell you I am, without a doubt, most commonly associated with Love.

You have a love of politics and a love of George Orwell’s writings. Which came first? Did reading Orwell bring you to politics? Did politics bring you to love Orwell? Or did those passions develop independently of one another?

Politics came first.

I was lucky to have a political junkie for a father. So while other kids my age had this sort of saccharine view of American politics (as spoon fed to them in school), I was aware at an early age that JFK was in a fairly fresh grave, that his brother had shared in the same fate, that MLK had been murdered, that George Wallace had been shot, that the carnage in Vietnam continued—as did the conflict at home over it.

I knew about the savage beatings at the ‘68 Democratic Convention, the killings at Kent State, on and on… Plus, growing up in the Deep South, I was aware of the Civil Rights movement and the racial hostility it brought to the surface.

So my early political education was far less shaped by “hallowed founding fathers” bullshit and far more by observing the raw pursuit of power and the cold-blooded willingness to snuff it out.

Politics and violent upheaval intermingled in my perceptions early on.

I was forced to reconcile the promise of democracy with a deep mistrust of power and a conviction that politics is mainly practiced by evil and utterly corrupt people. It’s something I still struggle with, and being an avid follower of American politics, there’s no shortage of contradictions upon which to muse.

As for Orwell, my introduction to him came a bit later, when I was about 12 or 13. But it was a direct outgrowth of my interest in politics. Having become more aware of, and interested in, global affairs, it was only natural that I delved into the Cold War dynamic, the competing ideologies of Western democracy and Communism.

Along the way, I stumbled across a reference to Animal Farm. I have read it at least once a year for three decades now and, alongside The Old Man and the Sea, it stands in my mind as one of the most poignant parables of the modern age.

This was also about the time when I became serious about poetry as a lifelong avocation, and I soon discovered Keep the Aspidistra Flying, Orwell’s early novel about the tragically comic poet Gordon Comstock. Although it was not a political work in any overt sense, it was a biting commentary on the place of the artist in the modern world (particularly the capitalist world), and I still enjoy returning to it now and again.

When I was about 15, I read Nineteen Eighty-Four for the first time, and it was a life-changing experience for me. I consider it the most important novel of the 20th Century.

If we were to ask Mrs. Haskins, your mother, about you as a child, how would she complete these sentences? William loved to ______. His favorite things were _______.
She would say that I loved to harvest souls, and I have no doubt that she would say my favorite things were my extensive collection of shrunken heads—not so much for their value as trophies, but as wistful reminders of the wonderful adventures I had in obtaining them.

What makes you laugh?

I’m a sucker for satire; the more acid the wit, the better. That, and children crying.

I know you love music. Do you sing out loud while driving the car?

Yes. I also sometimes get out and dance at red lights. Topless.

Seriously, music has a magic all its own, and I’ve been fortunate to be turned on to some wildly diverse artists.

You have spoken of a cosmic love for two women, whom I consider to be quite different—Dorothy Parker and Madeline Kahn. It so happens, I also love both women so I’m interested in what about them you love.

Different, yes. But they shared some qualities—not the least of which was their sense of humor—and those are common threads in my affection for them.

Parker was bold and independent in an era when the 19th amendment was fresh off the presses and "women's rights" were decades away. She was caustic, prolific and highly perceptive, and she had an inner strength that must have radiated from her very presence. But she was also a wounded creature with deep vulnerabilities. That combination strikes something deep in me.

Madeline Kahn has brought me a great deal of joy. She was a confident and brilliantly funny woman without a shred of self-consciousness. While not an intellectual, per se, she was a true artist with keen instincts, and her Academy Award nominations, in my opinion, support this.

I think it's also important to note that my admiration for people is often rooted not only in how they lived, but how they died.

When Dorothy Parker died, she bequeathed her estate to the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr Foundation. This was in 1967 when Dr. King was still living and struggling, so it wasn't a case of some attention-seeker making a grand gesture to the martyred hero, but a genuine act of solidarity with the Civil Rights Movement. The estate went to the NAACP after King's death, and I’ve always found it touching that the NAACP claimed her ashes two decades after her death, when no one else would.

In Kahn’s case, I remember how saddened I was when I'd heard that she had terminal cancer. Her gesture was of a more personal nature, but no less touching. In the last year of her life, knowing she was dying, she married her long-time sweetheart.

Yep. They were two classy, funny, beautiful women.

And then there are words. Tell me about how you first found your love of words.

Language just appealed to me from the start. I think some people are simply wired that way. I imagine it's the same way future painters respond to form or color, or future musicians to sound. Once I learned to read, I did so voraciously and it just seemed natural to me to, in turn, write my own stories and poems. I remember thinking for a time that everyone must do it; it felt that natural.

If someone were to ask me what I think you love about words it would be the ultimate use of them, the precision of them when used correctly, and the ability to communicate ideas effectively. You seem to look for the exact combination of words in the right number of syllables, the best sounds, metaphors, meanings and using the correct application of language tools and devices to get the exact right meaning. (and you seem to do that not just with poetry, but most other writing I’ve seen as well). That’s just my understanding. So I’ll ask you.

What about words do you love?

I think it's the infinite possibilities of language and some weird human desire to use it to express a thought or emotion in a way that it's never before been expressed.

Oddly enough, I often find that, for me, it’s more a process of subtraction rather than addition. I like boiling ideas down to their essence. A well-crafted metaphor can often do more in ten words than ten pages of literal explanation can do. I find a sense of wonder in the compression, the distillation, of language.

What is your favorite word?

Hmmm… "Sanguine"…

…and "goddammit".

From my experience at AW, I can see that you love helping other people develop the potential poet in them. I consider myself lucky to have benefited from that mentorship. What is it about this act of mentorship that fulfills you?

I know from personal experience what support and advice can mean to a writer, having benefited from it myself. I also recognize that I will never be anything more than an obscure poet, so there’s also the hope that I can contribute to the development of a poet that might actually achieve greatness. And there are a handful at AW that I think could.

What does potential look like?

It looks different in different people and, as strange as it might sound, it’s not always about how well they write. I’ve known many people who are masters of language but are as shallow as a gutter puddle.

Sometimes it’s about how they think. Assuming they have a basic level of proficiency with language that can be, with some effort, refined and improved, I will always cast my lot with someone who has strong conceptual skills, sensitivity to the human condition and the ability to tap into emotional depth through metaphor.

Loving has its burdens. What is the biggest burden you’ve carried for your love of writing?

A tendency toward introspection that is not always fair to the people closest to me.

Is writing a simple process for you, or is the quote “A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people” (Thomas Mann) more true?

Both are true, but not in equal measure. Sometimes I’ll write a poem or some prose pages so effortlessly that I find myself asking, “What the hell just happened?” And, of course, I would love to be able to bottle it, but you can’t. It’s this crazy flash convergence of inspiration and intellect that pushes the conscious mind out of the way and does its work.

More often than not, however, writing is goddamn hard work for me.

Many times we see that you have a very full knowledge of many things poetry, including schools of thought, styles and forms, and poetry movements and theory. And many other times, we see you pushing those things aside and even criticizing them. Is this a case of learning the rules so you know how to break them? Or maybe a buffet– poetry theory à la carte?

Movements and theory and criticism are all external to the art. They are imposed upon it, after the fact, primarily because humans have an innate need to put things in buckets. I do find value in knowing and understanding the aims of various schools of thought, or experimenting with established styles and forms, but never at the expense of creating a direct connection with the reader.

That said, only by having an awareness of different styles and forms can one understand how and when they work and employ them successfully in a poem. So your notions of “learning the rules so you know how to break them” and a “buffet” are accurate.

But, ultimately, I don’t give a fuck what some critic or doctrinaire with an MFA thinks about my work; I only care about connecting with the reader.

And, as for movements and schools, I’d have to go with Groucho’s quote that I would never belong to any club that would have me as a member.

Who are your writing influences?

Let’s see. When I was a kid, it was Twain and London and Poe. By my teen years, it was Orwell, Burroughs, Rimbaud, Camus, Dickens, Hunter Thompson.

As an adult, I don’t really feel as though I’ve taken on any influences, not consciously at least. I’m pretty set in my ways.

Are the people who influenced you when you first started out writing still your influences, or have they changed with time?

Twain’s a good example, I suppose, because as a child I loved Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. Throughout my life, I’ve read other works, here and there, often as a result of some chance conversation or discovery in a used book store. He had a wit that ranged seamlessly from childish to profound, and I admire that greatly.

What metaphor would you use to describe yourself?

I, a pebble
Dropped into an ocean,
A whisper in the storm,
A vibration on the water,

My energy spreads
In rings and fades—
And I am swallowed,
Smooth as glass.

I see the theme of mortality throughout many of your works. I see it as a bittersweet reminder to love life and live it. That may not be your intention, so I’ll ask. What is it about this topic that makes it a common theme for you?
Well, it’s a common theme for all of us, ain’t it? The only two experiences that we really share as a race are birth and death. And birth, barring some tragic affliction, is a blossoming where, literally, everything is possible.

Death on the other hand, is our final accounting. What we’ve done, what we haven’t, what we could have, what we didn’t.

I’ve been told I’m obsessed with death, but I think this is a bit extreme. The fact is, I’ve cheated death a few times, the first of which was when I was 6 years old. To know, at that age, that you came close to dying does something to you. At least it did to me. It made me feel as if I’ve always lived on borrowed time.

So it’s always there, just around the corner.

You’re the founder of Blue Rock. What would the inscription on the town square memorial say about you?

I would hope that it would say that I provided a place for people of all kinds and creeds to come and stake their own claim and to live as they see fit.

Finally, the AW people are listening. What would you love to say to them?

in fury's grasp
or throes of pain,
when nightmares stalk
the waking brain,
and monsters wear
the masks of men—

still the mind,
move the pen.

beneath the heel
of tyrants' wrath,
when robber-barons
plot your path,
to journey through
the vipers' den—

steel the soul,
move the pen.

and when the
final die is cast,
each breath connected
to your last,
a matter of
not if, but when—

steal the night,
move the pen.
 
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Stew21

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Quickwit interviewing Saritams8

Did you enjoy reading as a child? If so, what were your favorite types of stories? If not, what about it didn't you like? What would you choose to do instead?

I loved reading, mostly fantasy based stories, or sci-fi stuff. When I was too little to read, my dad would read Tolkien, Asimov, and Frank Herbert to me. When I was old enough to read on my own, I just picked books off of his shelf. I remember rereading Lord of the Rings as a 16 year old and actually understanding parts of the book that were elusive to me as an 8 or 9 year old. But even though I was a book lover, I enjoyed loads of other stuff, too. We had 9 acres of forest at my childhood home in New Jersey. I was outside a lot. I loved to draw and paint, and help my brother and his friends build go-carts. My dad had a doo-wap quartet, one of my favorite things was sitting on the deck with them, trying to sing along.

What kind of student would you say you were? What was your favorite subject? Your least favorite?

I was a lazy student. Seriously. I loved learning, but never what was being taught in the classroom. I was really bored in school and could get by without a lot of effort. In elementary school, I was in Olympics of the Mind (now called Odyssey of the Mind,) which was a program to help kids learn to problem solve in creative ways (we built balsa wood houses and boats, we wrote plays and skits, had to answer trivia.) When I was having fun and engaged, I loved school. When it was dry and uninteresting, I turned my back on it. It lead to really poor study habits and as a teenager, I really had to apply myself to get anything out of school. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. As you can guess, I loved my English classes, Drama class, anything having to do with creativity, even stuff like wood shop or home-economics. I disliked analytics, math was the bane of my existence, and science wasn't too far behind it. Funny thing is, I am now a data analysis for a lot of huge companies, and I'm working on getting my masters in Anthropology. Science and math. Ha. Oh, and now? I could go be a career student. I love collegiate learning.

Who was the most influential adult in your life growing up? What was it about them that made them so important to you?

One was this woman that my mom worked for. My mom was doing some cleaning jobs to help supplement her income as a lab analyst. She cleaned for a lady named Ruth, who also went to our church. Ruth was the kindest, most gentle soul you could ever meet. She was also the textbook definition of a girly-girl, which I am not. She hand-crafted dolls and figurines that were so beautiful. As a child of 4 & 5, I was just mesmerized by her and her creative side. I would often go with my mom to her cleaning jobs, but when I went to Ruth's house, she would usher me through the kitchen to grab a snack (always something delicious that she whipped up herself,) and into her workshop to help with her dolls. We made one doll together, a little black haired ragdoll, with a blue flowered dress. And she made one for me, something so intricate and beautiful, with hand-sown clothes and yellow-yarn hair. I still have both dolls, sitting on a shelf in my office. Ruth died when I was 8, in a car accident that left her husband in a coma for weeks.

As an 8 year old, it must have been very difficult for you when Ruth died. Was that your first experience with a serious loss? How did you manage to cope with her passing and the circumstances surrounding it?

It was my first serious loss and I think my mom was trying to shield me from it as much as possible, at first. I remember hearing her talk on the phone with someone and I knew that a person had died in a car accident, but I had no idea who or, quite honestly, what that meant. Then, at our congregation, they made an announcement right before singing at the end of the sermon, saying Ruth died and that Gene was in critical condition. I can very distinctly remember dropping my song book and looking up at my mother. I must have given her quite the look, because after that, she asked me if I wanted to go to the funeral. Of course, I did. I asked if I could go see Gene in the hospital, but I wasn't allowed. He did eventually recover, and when he did, he had me over to his house to talk a few times. It felt strange that Ruth wasn't there. As to dealing with her loss, on a grander scale, I don't think it hit me until I was older and thinking about my own creativity. I remember being 15 and working on my first novel and thinking, "Ruth would love this!" But of course, she wasn't there.

You know, her dolls were so important to her, I could tell that she put love and care into making each one. And so, they became important to me. I also have this little tiger figurine that she made and painted for me. On the felt pad bottom, she just wrote To: Sara Love, Ruth. It's simple, but it's in her hand writing and even though the little thing is chipped and old, its green eyes still shine and it reminds me of her. I'm really big on having something to hold on to, when you don't have loved ones with you: a note, a doll, a rock, a photo, a shirt, it's all about being able to reach out and touch something that makes you feel closer to that person, when they can't be there. And yes, I'm a sap.

The second person I thought of was my Grandmother. She moved to the US in 1936, as an 18 year old Slovak. She was amazingly interesting, cooked like nobody's business, even on her limited income, and I think she loved me more than any other human being ever has. She would do or say the most thoughtful things. When I would stay with her, she would hide cookies under my pillow before bedtime. She always took the time to walk to the park that I loved, even though it was twice as far as the other park. She wrote to me at least once a month, despite living only an hour apart. I still have dozens of cards and letters from her that were filled with "just because" or "thinking of you" messages. She spoke little English and had the most delightful accent that I can still hear in my mother's voice sometimes. Discovering her fried spaghetti recipe, by taste-test after taste-test trial was one of the most fulfilling accomplishments of my life. Every now and then, my house smells like her kitchen. And that makes me smile.

Do you consider yourself intelligent? Sure, in a book-smart sort of way.

Do you consider yourself funny? Sometimes. I know how to make certain people laugh.

Do you enjoy getting together with people? Would you consider yourself 'popular'?

I like people most of the time. I like parties, especially if I'm planning on it, I can be in the right mind set. Popular is a weird word, but I guess people like me well enough for my own peace of mind. Ha.

What was the worst job you've ever had?

Telemarketer. 4 hour shift. Never went back.

What was the best job you've ever had?

I love what I do now, which is freelance data analysis and translating. It's interesting and rewarding. I only wish I had more to do!

What genre of writing do you prefer to read? What are you reading right now?

I don't like to read a certain genre, but I generally will only read something if it comes recommended to me. So, if you want me to read a book, tell me about it! I like literary, classics, sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, and children's books.

Right now, I'm reading The Yiddish Policemen's Union, by Michael Chabon. I'm working on my own murder/mystery and a friend said that this might help. I'm also reading Best Russian Short Stories, from The Modern Library, the 1917 edition. It's filled with Gogol, Chekhov, Tolstoy, and others. I love to have some short fiction in my pile of reading material. I usually rotate between De Maupassant, Hemingway, and various geographic collections. AND I've recently started reading about The Incas again, in preparation for my next book. So, I have The Lost City of the Incas by Hiram Bingham on my desk. It's filled with inaccurate information and myths, but overall, it's an interesting read by the archaeologist who discovered Machu Picchu.

Do you have a favorite author? A favorite book?


I have a favorite author, Neil Gaiman. He is the kind of writer that makes me want to be a better writer, even though I don't write in his genre. I have three favorite books. And they're all different and none of them are by Neil Gaiman. Ha! Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo. Road Fever, by Tim Cahill. Sho Gun, by James Clavell.

How would you characterize your writer's voice?


Oh goodness. Really? Someone once said it was ethereal. I thought it was a compliment.

Is there a particular time of day or night you find most productive?


Night, when the house is quiet. Or anytime I can get myself to a coffee shop with a notebook and pen.

Are there any rituals or routines you follow when it comes to writing?


No. Just some method of documentation (laptop or notebook) and a clear head, which usually requires a cup or two of coffee.

Do you listen to music when you write? If so, what type?


Generally, no. I like the quiet. But lately, while editing, I've been listening to Irish folk music. It gets me in the right mindset and reminds me what I'm supposed to be doing, if I let things distract me!

What would you like to achieve with your writing? What goals do you have?


I would like to write books that people read. I'd like to be able to have a sustainable career as a writer. My smallest goal right now, is to finish editing my manuscript by the end of January. After that, I'd like to get an agent, and get published. In the meantime, I'll start my next novel.

What would you say your writing strengths are? What are your weaknesses?


Bringing realism to main characters, giving them depth and making them interesting. I have a harder time maintaining that with secondary characters, and I have to focus on that when I'm editing. I'm really good at plotting out a story before starting, but that sometimes makes for a fizzle in my writing at the 2/3 to ¾ mark.

Do you prefer to read dialog or narrative? Which do you prefer to write?


It really depends on the story, for me. I love the swaths of narrative that fill the pages of Les Miserables, but Clavell's use of dialog and the way it moves the story is amazing. In my own writing, I find dialog more fun because it requires you to get into the heads of different characters and finding their voice.
 

Stew21

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quickWit interviewing cray

Did you enjoy reading as a child? If so, what were your favorite types of stories? If not, what about it didn't you like? What would you choose to do instead?

Does spending 6 hours on a Saturday rummaging through a paper recycling dumpster in the hopes of finding a picture of a naked boob or even a bra advertisement count as reading? If so, YES, I very much enjoyed reading very much as a kid!

No? Darn. Actually, I really did enjoy reading as a child but my reading intensity waxed and waned with the sports seasons. On the off time of the year, I remember that “library day” was a pretty good day of the week for me. Now that I think about it, enjoying library day made me feel a little weird too since there weren’t too many other guys who seemed to be enjoying the library for the books.

James and the Giant Peach hooked me into reading that type of children’s fantasy/fiction. I stuck with those types of stories until high school when they start force feeding you other genres. Thankfully.

What kind of student would you say you were? What was your favorite subject? Your least favorite?

I was not a good student. My grades were probably considered high but with regard to my studies and overall work ethic I was sloppy and undisciplined. This is actually one of those “areas for improvement” that has been staring me in the face all my life. So, to jump ahead to one of the questions below, yes, I consider myself intelligent. Intelligent enough to pass classes easily having done the minimum. Not a good way to go about things at all.

The Sciences have held my interest from grade school through to college resulting in a Biology degree that somehow lead me into a related career.

History was by far my least favorite subject. I tried. I really did. I just could not garner any interest.

Who was the most influential adult in your life growing up? What was it about them that made them so important to you?

The easy answer is my father. He’s the guy I want to be when I grow up. The larger and much more complex answer is that the adults in my extended family were the most influential in my life. My dad is the youngest of 13 children. Many of them life close to where I live. They have kids and their kids have kids and some of their kids of have kids. Translation: I probably have 120 relatives within a 20 mile radius many of whom I respect and admire. I’ve always felt lucky growing. I swear I had 3 fathers. My dad and 2 of his brothers who are particularly close are the people I’d consider most influential. In spite of life, they’ve set the example in simple yet amazing ways.


Do you consider yourself funny?


Um, yea, I consider myself funny but I’m not under any impression that other people find me funny. I post jokes here at AW ad nauseam most to amuse myself. And you might know this already but I’m a wise ass. I enjoy ripping off a few wise cracks in the hopes of amusing people but I really don’t know if I’m funny. Everyday events are funny if you ask me – like rotting pumpkins and kids that punch groundhogs in the head.

Do you enjoy getting together with people? Would you consider yourself 'popular'?

Popular? Absolutely! But that’s only because my kids are too young to be embarrassed by me yet.

I enjoy socializing and am most comfortable in relatively small groups. A few guys going for drinks or a few couples coming over for dinner and drinks are the best times for me. I’ve always hated crowds, loud places, and concerts even when I was doing all that stuff. All in all, I’m a pretty reserved person.

What was the worst job you've ever had?


In 1985-ish, I applied for a job at the tile factory. We all did. The place was huge enough where just about every high school kid who wanted to work could get a job doing something. My application was accepted and the paper they gave me said “plumber” on it.

So, I went to my job as a plumber on the assigned day at the assigned time only to find out that I wasn’t exactly going to be a plumber. My actual job was to carry around the wrenches for the real plumber. Remember, this place was huge. The facility was almost a full mile long. The plumbing was massive which meant the wrenches were big. I was in charge of the 5 foot wrench.

So, here’s how it went, the plumber would look at his work order, hop into his golf cart and head off to the part of the building where the work was needed. I’d have to walk the 5 foot wrench to where ever he was and then hand it to him.

There’s more. Once the guy decided that wasn’t fun anymore he decided to have us paint pipes in the little out buildings. They were small brick rooms with no windows and packed full of pipes. It would take about a week to paint the pipes in a 10x10 room.

Wait, there is more.

The grand finale for the summer was that he made us clean out the inside of the boilers. 2 of them, each about 2 stories high. Crawl in to a 2x2 opening with vacuums and get to work.

The guy who made us do that is probably a legend now for what he did to us. I can hear it now, “Remember when Rusty stuffed those summer kids into the boiler?”

What was the best job you've ever had?


Jobs during school aside, I’ve only had 3 jobs plus my current one in 20 years.

Job number 2 was probably the best to date. I fell ass backwards out of working in lab at a pharmaceutical company into working for a contract research organization running clinical studies. I was employee number 5. Being so small I learned everything, EVERYTHING, about clinical research including medical writing where I found I had some skills. I loved it and still do even though I don’t do it much anymore.

At some point that company decided to open up a staffing company provided clinical research professionals and somehow I ended up running that business. We provided one off staffing where clients asked us for one person either on a contract basis or as a permanent employee of the client. The other more interesting part of the business was providing project based staff. We’d provided teams of people to our clients and manage the project. Managing teams of medical writers gave me a front seat view of how odd you writers can be. Keep in mind that I’m not talking about any of the freaks reading this – you people are normal.

I was there for almost 9 years and by the time I had decided to move on the company was up to nearly 150 people most of whom I had personally recruited. Great place to work! And it gave me everything I needed to move my career forward in clinical research staffing and functional outsourcing.


What genre of writing do you prefer to read? What are you reading right now?

I prefer fiction. I guess I need the escape or something deep like that. That said, I skew towards novels that deal with simple things that we all deal with in our own lives. In a word, I’m forever intrigued with the author who can take a simple moment in a life and verbalize it in relatable words and phrases.

My dad reads these epic historical biographies (Churchill, Stalin, etc) that he keeps trying to get me to read. I just can’t get interested although I’m keep wondering if at some point I will. Is there an age when looking backwards is more interesting or more important than looking forward? *insert the shrug guy here*

Currently, I’m reading The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama.

What is it about this genre that most appeals to you?


When I read I want out. I like jumping into other peoples lives and letting them deal with it for a while. And again, the author who has the writing skills to offer up intriguing thoughts on any given situation, especially the mundane, are my guys. Analyzing and the verbalizing apparent trivialities by pausing to look at them is the appeal. There’s no doubt I read that somewhere.

Do you write the same type of stories?

I try but I’m under no impression that I have that gift.

I write short, hopefully amusing, stories that are almost always prompted by something that just occurred in my life. If I’m feeling particularly brave the stories wind up in the hands of a few friends and family.

I don’t think I’ve ever written anything over 10K words. I’m blown away by people who put together a technically sound full length book. The big story, the subplots, character development and all that is far too daunting!



Do you have a favorite author? A favorite book?


Favorite book – no. Favorite author – yes. I’ll go with John Updike. He’s the master of tedious minutia. For a lot of folks it’s frustrating but I get hooked in and consume it. Vonnegut andNicholson Baker are two other authors that I enjoy.

How would you characterize your writer's voice?


I’ve never thought about this before. I like writing short stories with dry humor where I’m a hero all delivered in a respectable manner.

So, the style of the guy that writes the things that I write is probably a mash-up of Steven Wright, Stewie from Family Guy, Batman and Ward Cleaver. In short, I don’t know how to answer this question other than to say if you’ve seen any of my posts on AW you know my style.

Is there a particular time of day or night you find most productive?


Unfortunately, I’m most productive in the mornings. I can sometimes steal some time in the mid morning if I have something that I’m really rolling with but the majority of the fun writing I do is done in the evenings.

Are there any rituals or routines you follow when it comes to writing?

No. If I have the time, I sit down and get right to it. After an idea hits I can usually get it down on paper relatively quickly. Remember, I write shorts. The first draft spills out pretty quickly.

Do you listen to music when you write? If so, what type?


No music. It has to be quiet. I’m easily distracted.

What would you like to achieve with your writing? What goals do you have?

I write for fun so for now, nothing. I’m not looking to get published if that’s what you’re asking. I’m happy jotting down the amusing little things that I do and I’m happy just to keep them in relative comfort of friends and family. For now, that is.

I lurk on the writing threads at AW and try to take away the things that apply.
Maybe in the future I’ll submit somewhere and see where it takes me.

What would you say your writing strengths are?
What are your weaknesses?


Well, the cop out answer here is that my strength is to be able to take a snippet of a day and turn into an amusing little story. Take yesterday for instance, when some nut job asked me if he could interview me. He had no idea that I had just been to the grocery store to pick up two boneless pork shoulders. I’m also sure that he had no clue that when the cashier picked one up, it somehow came out of the packaging and as it fell to the floor I instinctively went to catch it, missed, and sent it slapping into the legs of the lady next in line.

My weakness is that I can not take that story any further. I can’t fathom what happens next and weaving it into a novel. It’s beyond my comprehension right now.

Do you prefer to read dialog or narrative? Which do you prefer to write?


I prefer reading and writing narrative. Bits of dialog are necessary but for my writing but the narrative offers up the meat and potatoes. I tend to feel the same what about the books I read. The dialog serves its purpose but for me the narrative tells the story.
 

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Chattering With the Chihuahua--mscelina Interviews Haggis

AW Day of Listening—December 14, 2008
Chattering with the Chihuahua: Listening to Haggis
By Celina Summers

When I first made the determination to interview Haggis, it was with the full expectation that I would be sharing a series of dirty jokes and football arguments. After all, we know how he is. He’s irreverent. He’s a smart alec. He has an obsession with bones, bacon and boobs. I thought this would be the easiest of the interviews that I’d chosen to do. (I need to mention right off the bat that, out of respect for his wishes, I am not using his real name. He wishes to maintain his anonymity, although any of you with the brain God gave a goat can find it out if you so choose.)

It was with great surprise and gratification that I discovered another layer to the Haggis we all know and love. I think you’ll discover that there’s more to this man than the longing to be a yip dog riding in Paris Hilton’s purse. There’s a certain savoir faire, a gentle compassion and wisdom that make him the revered critter he is on our boards. We don’t know why we respect him; we just do. I wanted to find out why.

I knew I’d have to trick him into it.

I began with asking the expected biographical question. Haggis thought about the question for all of two seconds.

“The year, 1946. The place, Millard Fillmore Hospital, Buffalo, New York. Contrary to popular belief, I was not the runt of the litter. There was no litter. I was it, although there were two older puppies at home. The intervening 60 years were of no significance. Then I submitted my first story. It sold. To date, I have stories in Coyote Wild and Trunk Novels and one coming out next April in Necrotic Tissue. I also have a few humor articles at Raphael's Village. I graduated from the University at Buffalo. Did I tell you that Buffalo just won the MAC Championship?”

So far, so good. I’d received the sarcastic humor and the football reference I’d expected, but it was tempered with information that was important. Haggis actually was born. That meant he really existed and wasn’t a figment of my imagination.

I took a swig of beer and asked, “When you were a young adult, what initial path did you take that changed your perspective on the world?”

“I took the path of beer, bourbon and gin. Believe me—that can do a real job on your perspective. And it allowed me the privilege of taking a three year break from college—no, really, they encouraged me—and it permitted me to visit different parts of the world I never would have seen otherwise—all at government expense.”

“On your all-expense paid trip to see different parts of the world, what's the most valuable lesson you learned?”

“Always carry a condom. Joke. That's a joke. Sheesh.

“Seriously, I learned how to get along with people—all kinds of people. I worked with some folks who never made it past sixth grade and at first that was hard for me. I got through it and it was a good life lesson. If we had the time, I'd tell you a really long, boring story about an old sergeant of mine I was ready to kill until I finally realized the reason he gave me so much grief. I intimidated him. The guy had limited education and not much to work with in the first place. I posed a challenge to him. Once I realized that, I treated him differently—showed him more respect, and that helped. We almost became friends. Of course, he never did let me date his daughter…”

There it was again. The jewels of wisdom were going to be hidden behind wit. I would have to be sneakier. “What was your most important life path change? Did you switch careers, end a marriage, change your educational emphasis?”

“See, I used to drink. A lot. Beer was my best friend and his buddy, bourbon, was always welcome along for the ride. Of course, sometimes I was in a gin mood. Then gin was my best friend. I don't remember those times all that well.

“Then I got married. I suppose I cut back drinking somewhat but probably not a lot. Then I had my first daughter. Almost overnight, things changed. No, I'm not saying I quit drinking altogether. And I'm not saying I didn't still get stupid from time to time. Having kids is a life changing event. It makes you grow up and realize others depend on you. At least it should.

“I can no longer stand the smell of bourbon. I still love a good scotch, but a bottle will last me all year, and even that's shared with friends. I love a good red wine with a meal. Dog bless me though, I still love my beer. I can't drink it like I used to, but if you want to take it away from me, you'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead paws.

“So, going back to your question, if I hadn't backed off the booze, I probably wouldn't have been around to answer your questions right now. I suppose that makes it an important life path change.”

This response resonated with me. I wondered for a moment if he’d stolen a copy of my memoirs, then remembered that I don’t really like gin. So, I continued, “Considering your early path of having fun (which is one I can relate to totally) riddle me this: does the compulsion to have fun, to go out and have a few drinks, to spend the evening in a friendly neighborhood bar ever recede over time?”

“To a degree, sure. Probably to a large degree. It totally did when my kids were young. I still enjoy the atmosphere of the local gin mill. More than a couple of hours now is a lot. I'm more apt to stop in on a weekend afternoon while a game is on TV, grab a sandwich and a couple of brewskis, then go home and be in bed by 9:30. Well, okay, sometimes it's 11:30, but that's AW's fault, not the bar's. And it's certainly not mine. I'm the victim here.”

“I know you write while in bars. I do too. Do you find it easier to work in such a social environment?”

“I do write occasionally in bars, but that's not a normal thing. That's more apt to happen when the muse dumps a story idea into my head and I need to get something down on paper right away. I do read at bars, though, and I like to edit there too. I'm one of those folks who has to edit to hardcopy, so I'll print out 25 or 50 pages or so and take it down to the pub. It seems to work out fine for me. It also gives me something to do besides drinking. And believe it or not, sometimes I even talk with normal people.”

Okay, so Haggis and I are a lot more alike than I realized—or wanted to admit. I wanted to switch gears. I wanted to get to the bottom of why a man like this one had turned to writing.

“Do you really want to hear this? I've written for, like, always. Almost always it was business-related—advertisements, brochures, business correspondence, trade journal articles and the like. I also helped out friends who had their own small businesses by writing newsletters, columns for their web sites and so forth. It's just something I could do, so I did it. A friend of mine belonged to an online writing site (not this one) and asked me to take a look at one of his stories. I did. I made some suggestions. Well, okay, a lot of suggestions. He kept coming back to me for more editing advice. Eventually, he talked me into joining that site. For the hell of it, I tried my hand at writing a short story—something I had not done since high school. It was awful. But you know what? There were bits and pieces that didn't really suck that much. And that's how I got hooked.

“That all happened about six years and 30 or 40 short stories ago. It might be 50 if you count all the stops and starts. I'm not sure. I have written more each year and I'd like to think they're getting better.”

“Did you feel compelled to write or was it a calculated choice?”

“It was neither. It was purely something fun to do. But after a while, I felt the urge to find out if I honestly had the chops for it. That's when I came to AW and that's when I finally began learning and submitting. Now, I suppose, it's a compulsion. I still don't know if I have the chops for it but some people think I do; so for now, that's enough.”

“If you could go back in time to your youth, what would you change?”

“I never took school seriously, and I never, ever, had a career goal in mind (well, I did take school more seriously when I returned after the army, but I still had issues with that career thingy). By the time I finally realized it would be a good thing for me to get an MBA, I had two kids, worked 70 some hours per week and bartended at wedding receptions on the weekend. It would have taken me seven years of part-time classes to complete. So I blew it off. Bad choice. If I'd done it, I'd have had that MBA for over 30 years now. Let that be a lesson to you, children. School first.”

“Considering the wealth of life experiences you've had, what is the single most important piece of advice you can offer to people facing the same paths you did?”

“I'm presuming these are young people I'm offering advice to, right? You're asking an old fart to offer advice to young people? Hell, I wouldn't have listened to an old fart's advice when I was young. Why should they? In the unlikely event that even one of them does, then I'd say education. Take it as far as you can, and don't take it lightly. You can't even begin to imagine what a difference it will make in your life. And when you're through with your formal education, keep learning. Study things on your own. I'm willing to bet that the other AW folks who are my age or older are still studying—still learning. As for me, if and when I reach the point that I no longer care about learning new things, I hope you'll call up the vet and have him load the needle, 'cause it will be time for me to go.”

“What was the one thing you swore you’d never do?”

“Agree to be interviewed.”

“Did you agree to do it and why?”

“Well, duh. Of course I did. But only because I fear you.”

I decided I needed a really serious question, one that he could sink his chops into. “Tell me how you handled a moment of great decision.”

“Once upon a time, there was a Chihuahua whose wife wanted him to leave. He did. He's much happier now.”

Obviously, I failed.

You know, sometimes it’s hard to separate the man from the onscreen personality. Every time most of us think of Haggis, we think of glowing red eyes and hypodermic needles. I discovered something in my talk with him that turned on the clichéd light bulb over my admittedly empty skull. There are all kinds of wisdom. There’s the proverbial wisdom, the kind that makes me go, “Yeah, yeah—whatever.” There’s the insidious sort of wisdom, the kind that finally struck me years later when I said, “You know, Mom was right about that key in the light socket thing. Not a good idea.”

But then, there’s the good-natured, practical wisdom. It’s the sort that’s hiding behind a sarcastic comment and a wry smile, sliding across the table with a pint of Guinness and through a haze of cigarette smoke. I’ve found during my time with Haggis that his sort of wisdom falls into that final category. He took the path less traveled and as a result left important signposts for all of us to pay attention to.

He peed on them, but we’ll remember them nonetheless.
 

William Haskins

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william haskins interviews jason tudor and lives to tell the tale.

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What was the first thing you ever wrote that exceeded your expectations?

In high school, I used to write essays for a friend of mine so we could skip gym class. They were 300-500 word essays on a particular sport -- racquetball, basketball, rugby or something similar. After a time, I realized that I was writing them for 4-6 other people and starting to get paid for it, about 5 essays per person. I made about $650 that school year. The fees ended up paying for about a dozen of trips to Disneyland to chase skirts. Only about a third of those trips exceeded expectations.

What is it about poetry that appeals to you, both as a writer and a reader?

The thing is men and women see poetry differently. And I've only written poetry for two groups: women and me. If a man gets the poetry, fine. But, men just aren't wired for poetry. We're wired for muddy cleats, eye back, two minutes for roughing and trying to sneak a peek in the "back door" when she's not really noticing and hoping she approves a full look. So, as a writer, I'm wanting to say something that's danced around my skull and hasn’t been said 10,000 times that day in news, on blogs or by someone else to those audiences. And, ultimately, I want to connect with it when it's spit out. As a reader, I'm seeking something fresh; something accurate, brief and clear. Something with broad shoulders or swaying hips that knocks me off my feet after the last stanza. We all want that from everything and every bit of entertainment we consume. The problem is that 99 percent of what we consume is sheer crap. And 98 percent of that done by people creating it, including me, is crap. So, ultimately, on both sides, I want to rub the G-spot, hit a home run or find the perfect little black dress that'll make the others women sad they even stepped out the door that night. Sometimes you know when you do, sometimes you don't.

At what other point in history could you see yourself thriving, and why?

There are always points in history where you think, "At what point were humans most freaky with their clothes off and their bodies on? I mean like 'walk up to a woman, bend her over, shag and smile walking away' times?" But then the reptilian brain goes to sleep for a while and the mammalian layer takes over. And that usually leads me toward something right brained. Something before the industrial age and the crush of corporate necessity. The latter part of the renaissance probably would have been fine. Maybe post-WWII United States. However, this is a pretty good time as well. I’m no Bear Grylls, so anything where I’d have to make fire, spear a Buffalo or fish would be unrelenting suck.

If you could get drunk with one poet, living or dead, who would it be? Please note that you wouldn't actually be drinking with a corpse, but rather some sort of time transference would be involved.

Depending on the poet, drinking with the corpse might be a better time. And since my familiarity with the “Ten Best Poets to Drain a Guinness Beside” list is short of data, so I'll pick you. Should you decline, I’ll take a dead guy: Ben Franklin. He liked whores, ale, didn’t give a damn about much and he took the time to rewrite "Want of a Nail" so well that Todd Rundgren and Bobby Womack made it into song.

What's the strangest dream or nightmare you've ever had?

Most of the nightmares are sleep-borne anxiety attacks. People you love hating you, ignoring you and all that in the dream. You wake up wanting to kiss whoever you’re next for acceptance and conciliation. Also, walking around in your underwear. The "needing one more class to graduate high school and not knowing how to get it" dream. Other visions like that can also be induced by sickness. And I usually don't remember dreams, though I once dreamt of a girl in high school I had a HUGE crush on. It was very real and I almost approached her the next day to ask her out, but by about noon, my head cleared and realized how dumb that move would have been.

If God asked you to fill in for him for a weekend while he took one of those promotional trips to Vegas where you get the room and the show and the continental breakfast, what would you use that time doing?

Wouldn't I have to get through the PowerPoint orientation, get keys to the washroom, get a network password/email account and find my way around the pearly gates in that time? By the time I got around to smiting, "eye for an eye"-ing or figuring out why burnt offerings, he'd be back with a showgirl on each arm covered in those cheap plastic beads, toting a cup full of nickels and handing me my temp pay check. However, somewhere in between the password failures and machine reboots, it might be helpful to reorient living beings into some sort of harmony and get everything made of plasma, carbon, energy and matter in the universe a Facebook page to chat and get to know one another. And I would cancel "Kath & Kim," and smite both actresses.

If you had the time and resources available to you to go away and create your masterpiece, what would it be?

My daughter's 3 already. But I'll use the "can't include something so awfully sappy, it rots my teeth and make my stomach turn" mulligan on that answer. So, let's go with graphic novel, written and drawn by me.

Can train travel ever regain its romantic aura of by-gone eras?

Gas prices are back below two bucks. Auto makers are curled up around the big warm dog bowls awaiting another serving of kibble from Uncle Sam. I'd say 'No' but Warren Buffet just bought a boatload of train and rail interests across the globe. So, if he did it, then I'd be looking for "I had the time of my life" commercials for trains soon. Unless Mr. Buffet goes away for a weekend while he took one of those promotional trips to Vegas where he gets the room and the show and the continental breakfast.

Can blind people ever be truly comfortable playing the lottery? Seems like there would have to be an inordinate amount of trust involved throughout the process...

As Chris Rock said, "It's just a stack to Stevie. It's just a stack."

What's the most frightening thing that's ever happened to you?
Cancer almost killed me. Surprisingly, not frightening. Got shot at in a helicopter over Baghdad. Surprisingly, not frightening. So, I'll go for lying in a moment of weakness and getting caught.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Well, just like me, they long to be, close to you.
 

maestrowork

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Ray interviews Jay III

Hey Ray,

Well that was actually a lot of fun. I guess I do enjoy swimming in Lake Me. Those were some great questions which prompted much pontification. Thanks so much for honoring me with this interview. I hope someone chose to interview you too!

1. Where did you grow up and what was it like? Your family, friends, upbringing, neighborhoods, etc. How did it shape you?

I grew up in suburban Rockville, MD not far from D.C. It was beautiful. Riotous leaves in the Fall with their wet smell. Piles of snow in the winter. Hot summers at the ocean. I was the oldest of four kids. My brother who’s two years younger than me was something of a psycho and used to chase me around the house with knives, then I’d disarm him, beat him up and we’d go play soccer in the back yard.

My dad did, and still does a lot of world travel for his work (cancer statistics) and wasn’t around much when I was growing up, so I had to figure out a lot of things by myself which is probably why I’d rather try things my own way and fail than just have someone help me.

I think I was just a normal, happy, blissfully unaware kid. I always loved books and spent many a Saturday reading in the only quiet place in the house - up on the roof. I’d take a blanket and a book and snacks and spend all day up there. Okay maybe I wasn’t totally normal. I loved sports too and played all of them growing up. I took piano lessons from the time I was 7 until I was 12 and hated every minute of it. It wasn’t until I got a guitar for my 16th birthday that I really fell in love with playing music. The funny thing is, I think I do have a good bit of talent on the piano but I stink at it because I’ve never practiced. I don’t think I have much talent for the guitar but I’m good at it because I’ve worked so hard at it for so long.

I had pretty much the same small group of friends growing up and I’m still close to them. In high school I became very shy and withdrawn at school, but I lived for our church Youth group. We had around 100 kids and we did lots of sports and activities and I was at every one of them and had lots of friends. I was a very straight-laced teenager, except for my secret smoking habit.

2. Was being a father of four challenging? What does fatherhood mean to you? How did it change you?


Oh my gosh, YES it’s challenging. At one point we had four kids under the age of five. My career was just taking off, but tenuous so I was working 60 – 80 hours a week. We were part of a church plant with a whole set of challenges and I was the Worship Leader. Fortunately my wife stayed home with the kids, but she was overwhelmed. Every day I’d come home exhausted and open the garage door and there would just be this sea of toys and empty chip bags and clothes and dolls and bottles that I’d have to wade through. I just thank God none of them had serious medical issues because I know those trump every other trial I went through. Those were some very tough years though. Now that they’re older it’s SO much easier. They’re like real self-sufficient people now. They’re my best friends and every day is still an adventure. I do miss that new baby smell and their flannel nightgowns though. I get all misty just thinking about it.

3. You're a religious/spiritual man, but you don't impose your faith on others. How do you find that balance and what does being a Christian mean to you?

I guess I just try to be myself and be transparent. I don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to force change on people. I know what truly changed me was just hanging around guys who were normal, honest guys but who were serious about their personal relationship with Jesus. I finally saw that it wasn’t a “church on Sunday” thing or a “pretend to be holy around other people” thing or even a rules thing, it was a life thing and a community thing – it was a brotherhood of guys just like me and you who had fallen in love with Jesus and were passionate about being close to him. That’s when God really made a change in my heart and my identity and the anger and darkness that I’d become accustomed to just kind of burned away.

To me, being a Christian means freedom. Freedom from so many things which weighed me down and caused me secret pain and freedom to enjoy God and enjoy others and explore the riches of this life.

4. What were the inspiration behind your series? Why did you feel compelled to write them? What do they mean to you? What are you going to do next?


I’ll take the answer to the first question from my website (http://www.jayyoungweb.com/Junk_Drawer.php)…When I was a kid I wanted to be an author when I grew up, but somewhere along the line I gave up on it. When we moved to Texas in 2005, I decided it was time to maybe spend less time focusing on music and try something else (I had pretty much devoted my 20’s to the guitar). I had occasionally toyed with the idea of writing, but I couldn’t think of what I could possibly write about. SQL Programming? How to play the guitar? How to change diapers? Then one night I was out riding my bike and I decided I would pray about it, and I suddenly realized I had never prayed about it before. So I prayed and immediately the idea for the novels sprung into my head. I realized that I had several ideas and several parts of scripture that I had been studying that would fit into an exciting story. By the time I rode home, I already had the storyline and most of the characters in mind. It was like God had been holding this gift-wrapped box for me for twenty-five years, just waiting for me to ask for it.

Awww, that’s such a sweet story innit? Anyway, besides all the adventure and complex storylines in my books (which really appeal to my meticulous side), I really wanted to deal with a few key themes in a way that wasn’t preachy. The protagonist’s character arc over the four books is very similar to my own – a naïve young man with a wisecrack for everything who is mentored by a mature, older man; the early 20’s young man being refined in the fires of life and eventually broken; the young man who becomes a leader and experiences the burdens of leadership and betrayal and learns to truly rely on God. I like to think my stories are also universal. There are no rigid paradigms or easy answers. Jesus doesn’t save the day and make all the problems go away. Characters struggle and suffer and fail and laugh and love.

When I go back and read the first book (Heroes of Old) I naturally cringe at my naïveté as a writer, but I console myself that perhaps that’s part of the charm of the first book – the sweet naïveté of the characters. I think book 2 (Spirit of Heroes) is where I hit my stride and managed to bring some complex storylines together in an interesting and action-packed way. Book 3 (Sanctuary of Heroes) is definitely my favorite. It’s much darker and heavier than the others with little patches of gold in the mire. I really feel like I was able to dredge the depth of some of the characters in a satisfying way. Book 4 (Tribulation of Heroes) is the last one in the series and will be released soon (I’m hoping before Christmas). I had originally outlined five books but decided to trim all the fat and combine the last two into an all-questions-answered thrill-ride. I think it’s an exciting and satisfying conclusion to the series.

What’s next? I’ve been working on a manuscript that’s more along the Urban Thriller lines. It’s very slick and stylish, like a Chuck Palahniuk novel, but it lacks depth and focus so it’ll likely be a long time before I’m ready to do anything with it. At this stage of my life writing is just a hobby. I still have SO much to learn. I think I have good organizational skills and am basically a good storyteller, but writing is a craft and I’m still just a novice. Maybe by the time we get the kids out of the house I’ll have learned enough to do some serious writing.

5. Tell us five random things about you that not many people know.

I proposed to my wife over the phone from halfway across the country. She hung up on me. She called me back later and said she’d make all the arrangements and all I’d have to do was show up, so it worked out just fine.

I’m in two books. I make a brief appearance in John Levitt’s latest novel New Tricks (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0441016561/?tag=absolutewritedm-20) and I’m also featured in several (not so flattering, but true) stories in my friend’s book Mullets and Mayhem (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0759655049/?tag=absolutewritedm-20).

I’m a wicked awesome database programmer but I never talk about it outside of work because I don’t want to bore people.

A few years ago I got on a memorization kick and memorized eight books of the Bible word-for-word and could quote flawlessly for several hours.

I shave my chest because I can’t grow a decent crop of chest hair.

6. "You are what you are" or "you are what you do"? And why?

You are what you do, definitely. I tend to believe we all have a warped self-image – overly inflated in some ways and hyper-critical in others, and it’s all relative anyway. There’s always someone smarter or nicer or uglier or worse, but each of us can choose to do our best for those around us. Acting maturely, even if you don’t feel worthy of it is better than simply “being mature”, if that makes any sense.

7. What was your deepest regret or darkest moment and what did you learn from it?

When I was in college, I spent almost every night with my roommate at our friends’ apartment drinking beer and playing Spades. We’d play for hours and get very drunk and rowdy. One of those friends was named Frank and he was a relief pitcher on the baseball team. He was tall, handsome, and very gregarious but had absolutely no ego. He was like a big kid and we were very close. I loved to do little things to upset him like pour pickle juice into his box of crackers or set his baseball caps on fire.

So one night I’d had way too much to drink, as had Frank. I was sleeping in my apartment when he called and started yelling at me, accusing me of something I knew another friend of ours had done. I was furious and told him I was coming over to “kick his a$$”. Fortunately my roommate talked me out of what would likely have been the worst beating I ever received, but he did let me go over and put a note on Frank’s car.

The note, of course, was every cruel thing I could think of to say, including the fact that he would never make it in MLB and he’d end up with a menial job because he was a dumb jock (among other things). I went home afterward and passed out. I didn’t see Frank for about a week after that. Eventually we started hanging out again since we had the same friends and I think I offered a drunken apology at some point. We became fast friends again. Several years later I was the best man at his wedding. Our families get together every Thanksgiving and try to see each other a few times a year. I love him like a brother.

When I think of ripping his heart out and smearing it on a page and putting under his windshield wiper, I honestly want to die. But in all the years since then he’s never mentioned it or even alluded to it. He taught me what it means to forgive and forget and both of our lives have been richer for it.

8. What was your proudest or happiest moment and what did you learn from it?

It’s hard to think of anything which surpasses the birth of my first child. Up until then everything had been a beautiful black and white picture, but suddenly there was color. Suddenly there was this strange little crying, slimy person and I knew what it was like to be helplessly, selflessly in love. I knew I’d die to protect her without giving it a second thought. I think that was the first time that I truly understood how God loves me and why God chooses to call himself “Father”. It changed everything.

9. What makes you unique? What unique experiences you had that set you apart from others? Or make you become aware of your place in history/community/etc.?


That’s a tough question. I don’t really feel unique or particularly special and I certainly don’t think I have a place in history as it were. The things I do – music, writing, jokes, working hard – those are all good and I enjoy them, but they’re not particularly special. I’m perfectly fine with that. I don’t want fame or accolades or sweeping social change. I’m a small fish. What I do want is to go deep with a small handful of people and to let Christ shine through me and accomplish his work. Nobody’s going to be downloading my MP3’s in a hundred years, but hopefully I’ve encouraged my friends, acquaintances, and even my enemies towards a loving relationship with God.

10. List a few things you're afraid to ask but you've always wanted to know.

Between Google and AW I think I’ve already asked them all. Seriously, I guess that’s one of my virtues – I’ve never been afraid to ask questions. Afraid to act on the answers, certainly, but not afraid to ask.

11. Tell me what your typical day is like. Then tell me what an atypical day is like, one that you remember the most -- what did it mean to you?


Typical weekday: be intimate with my wife (if I’m lucky), go to work, go out to lunch by myself and read, go to a church activity (band practice, coaching my kids basketball teams, men’s accountability), come home and play with the kids or help them with homework or go for a walk, watch a little TV with my wife, maybe play the guitar or do some writing, be intimate with my wife (if I’m lucky), go to sleep. Weekends I always cook big breakfasts for the family and we usually do a family activity like Six Flags or camping or movies and church on Sunday. Sunday afternoon is nap time for Daddy. We do a good bit of traveling to see friends or host friends from out of town and I travel about once a month; either business or personal. My wife and I try to do the occasional date night, although we need to get much better at it.

Atypical. Hmmm, there are plenty of those depending on which friend is in town. My wife and I have a standing agreement that anytime the other wants to go out for the night or weekend, they can do so at the drop of a hat. But atypical – I try to take each of my kids on their own individual “date”. It’s tough because it takes up an entire evening and once I take one I’m obligated to take each of them. So about once every 2 – 3 months I’ll go through the cycle. They get to choose whatever they want and we go on a date. It’s usually mini golf or movies and dinner and ice cream. We talk about everything that’s going on in both of our lives and they can ask me any question at all. It’s always an adventure and a great time of bonding and hopefully they are learning what a date should be like.

12. What is the meaning of life?


Love. That’s the only thing I’m really sure about. True, selfless, agape love. Ultimately it’s about receiving God’s love and being transformed by it, but I think it’s self-evident to our species, life is about love.

13. What's the most interesting thing about you we should know about? Or not.


I like comfortable silences. Barring that, I like to listen to someone else talk briefly. Barring that, I’ll talk briefly. But really I like spending time alone. I have no interest in talking to strangers. I have no interest in talking on the phone. Just sit next to me and let’s read our books. Ahhhh. That’s nice.

14. What do you want to do/be when you grow up?

Honestly, I want to be Deep. I feel like I’m still on the low foothills of the journey from Shallowness to Depth. I’m still so self-centered and concerned with what people think about me. I still have so much to learn about the world around me and about true compassion and maturity. I’ve been blessed to have been mentored by guys that I do consider to be Deep, so I think I know what it looks like. It’s not flashy, but it saturates every aspect of life. But there’s still so much “Jay” that still needs to be burned off.

15. Give me one reason why I should buy you a beer.

Because I’m a good listener and I have good comedic timing. If you buy me a beer, I’ll listen to you talk and make you smile. I’ll take a Sam Adams Honey Porter, please.
 

maestrowork

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Ray interviews Serenity

1. Where did you grow up and what was it like? Your family, friends, school, neighborhoods, etc.? How did that shape you?



I grew up in Indiana, PA. About 45 minutes from Pittsburgh. Indiana is something of a small town, but the university there makes it seem a lot bigger. But you still have that small home-town feel. My Nana (grandmother) was a teacher at the high school, and so pretty much knew everyone around. Until I was in 4th grade, I lived out in the country and was a complete tomboy. I was never inside if I could help it. I was playing in the dirt, running through the cornfields behind my house. Anything. I had such an imagination. When I moved into town, I was a lot closer to my friends and we would ride our bikes everywhere. My mom had a lot of trust in me to be safe and to come home by dark, or when I got hungry—whichever came first. Family is incredibly important to me, present and past. My Nana is a big believer in keeping a good family tree, so I will always know my roots. School was both easy and hard for me. Easy because I have a good head on my shoulders. I’m smart and grasp concepts easily. Hard because I had a tendency to daydream, a lot. Even though I found out later that this was A.D.D., that wasn’t the ‘popular’ diagnosis. The only thing I think that truly kept me from getting labeled was the fact I was a good student and could catch up and learn without too many problems. I was always the quiet, shy kid who barely spoke in class. Stage fright, of a sort, ruled my life through my school years until about 9th grade when my two best friends practically dragged me into play auditions one afternoon. I got the part. And I started working on becoming more social.

2. What do you write and why did you choose the genre/stories? What inspires you?

I usually write whatever comes to mind. In high school that meant bad poetry. REALLY bad. My mom kept a lot of my things and I read my poetry book before I moved about six years ago. I had a good laugh. Now I like to write sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy. I love things that have to do with the paranormal, or create worlds out of nothing for people to live in and give me a place to tell whatever story I have in my head. As for inspiration? That’s a hard one. I don’t know that I could narrow it down to any one or a few things. I love characters that speak to me, the ones that almost write themselves. More often than not, I’ll come up with a person first and then he or she will tell me what they do, why (sometimes), and they’ll give me the story to write.


3. Tell us five random things about you that few people know.

Random, eh? I love watching old movies with my dad. I can still be painfully shy, especially in new situations. I cover up a lot of hurt/embarrassment/shyness/pain with humor—a lot of humor. Shopping for school supplies is one of my favorite pastimes; I love it! Until my senior year in high school, I wanted to be a Marine Biologist and work at Sea World.


4. What are you wearing, baby?

Jeans and a t-shirt. My standard attire if I can get away with it!


5. Briefs or boxers?

On me or on men? ‘Cause on men I can go either way. ;)


6. What do qualities you seek in a life partner? What are important and what are not? Do you have/Did you have someone like that in your life?


Great smile, easy going attitude (to offset my often times type-A personality), honest, likes children, doesn’t mind just cuddling up on a couch and vegging in front of the TV some nights, likes sports, likes reading/writing, will put up with my love of sci-fi conventions and other kinds of activities where you kind of have to just get into the spirit of things (like Renaissance Faires), who can put up with my bad jokes and still have a sense of humor. Honesty and liking children are deal breakers for me. I thought I had someone like that a while ago, but not so much. He married someone else four months after breaking up with me (hence the honesty deal breaker).


7. "You are what you are" or "You are what you do"? And why?


“You are what you are”. We can all try or pretend to be something else. We can study, go to college for it, get a good job in that field, but will never truly be happy unless you are true to who you are. I always loved animals, so I thought bio would be a good fit, and I loved the classes. I went to Spain and fell in love with the language, so my senior year I changed my choice of colleges and majors and took Spanish for International Trade. Never EVER thought I wanted to teach, even though when I was a child I pretended to be a teacher all the time. My Nana was a teacher; four of my cousins are teachers (having something of a weird My Cousin Vinny moment here). And until I started teaching preschool ten years ago, I didn’t realize that was what I truly wanted either. I am what I am. I love kids, I love giving them the tools and skills to acquire new ideas, new thoughts, new… everything. I love that moment where their eyes light up as they ‘get it’. It’s awesome.


8. What was your darkest moment and what did you learn from it? (If it's too personal, you can skip this or tell us your less personal experience)


After working with the kids I have right now (at risk and troubled children who are in an alternate school program) my ‘darkest’ moments don’t even compare to the crap that these guys have had to put up with their entire lives. In fact my darkest moments are pretty darn full of light in comparison. But the hardest thing for me was something that actually had an impact on my whole family. My dad worked for the coal mines in western PA and was laid off my senior year in high school. He was the provider for the family. I was about to go to college and worried about the stress that would put on them because they would help pay for it even though they didn’t have the money to do so. My mom started working two jobs. My dad worked two part time jobs AND went back to school full time. It was stressful for everyone and scary. But here we all are. It is actually helping me now because I know that no matter how bad things might get financially, there’s always a way through it. It ain’t easy, but it’s possible.


9. What was your proudest/happiest moment and what did you learn from it?

The day my brother got married. I’m a big sister. It’s my job to worry about my ‘baby’ brother. I always tried to protect him as best as I could. But the day he introduced me to his girlfriend Valerie, I knew I didn’t have to protect him anymore. She is the sweetest person ever and I couldn’t ask for a better sister. I stood up there with them and was beaming the whole time. I still tease him about getting married before me, but I truly couldn’t be prouder of him.


10. If you have just one more day to live, what would you do?

Find the one person who I think I could have loved for the rest of my life and spend the day with them.


11. What is going through your mind right now?


My mind is a scary place sometimes. Right now I’m surprising myself by how much I’m saying here. I’m normally not this ‘talkative’. But even though many people will potentially see all of this, I’m also telling it to you. Talking to people who I consider my friends is the easiest thing for me to do in the world.


12. Describe your bedroom.


Unintended chaos. It’s a conglomeration of a variety of styles and interests. I have Celtic pictures, symbols and other related things on the walls and shelves. I have some of my favorite stuffed animals (the ones that have special meaning to me) displayed throughout. I have two shelves filled with books, my TV and DVD/VCR player with a selection of DVDs on the shelf too. My computer desk next to my bed and other odds and ends. A calendar to keep track of my sub jobs, two flags (Ireland and Scotland) on the wall, and other abstract kind of paintings to match my latest color scheme: kind of an Earth tone scheme, mainly rust/goldenrod/sage. Oh, and candles. I love candles.


13. Do you have a moment or event in your life that you can look back on and see that it changed your life? What is it, and how did it change your life -- for better or for worse?

The day I finally decided to go back to school to become a teacher. Like I said before, it is who I am and the payoff has been the best. I’ve met great kids, great parents, had great experiences. Definitely changed me for the better.


14. What makes Melissa unique? What unique experiences or qualities you have that make you realize your unique place in the world/history/community, etc.?

This is probably the hardest question for me because I am my own worst critic. But, I like to make people smile. I can’t stand it when people are sad or down on themselves. I’ll make faces, tell jokes (good and bad), anything to get a smile or a laugh. Because I truly believe that once that smile or laugh pokes through, it makes things better. It doesn’t fix what’s wrong, but it makes it better. I teach. Every day, even if it’s not an earth-shattering OH MY GOD I UNDERSTAND IT! day, I’ve still taught my kids something. They’ll take that knowledge and use it the next day, and the day after. I have kids that I baby sat, or taught in preschool ages ago that still remember me because of one reason or another. One of my first joyful/tearful moments in teaching was my first experience at a daycare center. I worked with three year olds and did the letters, the colors, the shapes, whatever. That Christmas I got a card from one of my students (I still have it now, almost 11 years later) that he signed himself. Using letters that I helped him learn. J-O-R-D-A-N. Six letters with amazing power. I seriously cried when I opened it.


15. Give me one good reason why I should buy you a beer.



Because apart from the fact that I love a good beer, it’s a great way to have a nice conversation. No pressures, no pretending to impress, we are who we are. Two friends, having a beer.
 

mscelina

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Maternal Instincts--Mary Misenor, alias Soccer Mom

AW Day of Listening
Maternal Instincts—Mary Misenor alias Soccer Mom
by Celina Summers

For some reason, I thought that this would be the easiest interview that I would do. After all, Soccer Mom (henceforth known as Mary) is one of my dearest friends. We drink cyber margaritas together. We have LOLCatz wars. We beta for each other. Every once in a while, we have serious conversations on serious topics.

And we usually agree.

Imagine my shock, then, when this turned out to be the most difficult of the three conversations I had with our revered senior members of Absolute Write. I’ve thought about this a lot this evening, pondering why that could be possible. Could it be that—perhaps, just perhaps, I know her too well?

Let’s find out. Let’s start off with the basics.

“I write for children under my own name and for adults as Mary Misenor. I have a JD. You probably know my professional credits. I have the Trunk Novel and my most recent short stories have been in Coyote Wild and Mouth Full Of Bullets. I'm a career prosecutor. I wandered about the world quite a bit. I sang with the Texas Girl's Choir from age 7 until age 16 and traveled to 8 or 9 countries with them including a tour across Europe. I had contact with a lot of people that I wouldn't have otherwise met since I'm just a small town country girl.”

So far, so good. Right? This was going to be easier than I thought.

NOT.

“What was the one thing you swore you'd never do with your life?” I asked. I expected something exciting—like the running of the bulls in Pamplona or snake handling in some weirdo Texas church.

She thought for a minute, but her expression didn’t change as she replied, “I can't come up with anything. Told you I was boring.”

What? Did I really just hear that? Never one to give up on a set system of questioning, I persisted. “Did you end up doing it and why?”

“I'm going to think on these two questions a bit more,” Mary said blandly, her face still as smooth as a donkey’s ear. “I'm just drawing a big blank.”

Okay. Now I was confused. She thought a bit more and nothing happened. I was stunned. Not even a single LOLCat was in sight.

It was time for me to change tactics.

“What would you say the single most important life change you made was?”

“I think having children changed me more than anything. Motherhood completely reshaped who I am.”

Here I noticed something interesting. All three of my interviewees have mentioned this when I asked this question. I thought this rather odd. My kids hadn’t changed me that much. Hell, maybe there was something wrong with me. After a hurried call to my therapist, who assured me that I was normal and they were weird, I continued.

“What brought you to writing?”

“Boredom. No, seriously. I've always written. I got my first taste of publication when one of my poems appeared in the newspaper. I was seven. I've had periods in life when writing had to go away for a while. Law school was one of those. I stopped writing in 1990. Then in 1995 I was restless and bored and decided to pick the writing back up.”

“Was it a compulsion or a plan?”

“Compulsion.”

That’s it? A one word answer? From a writer—about writing?

It was only then that I realized that I was talking to an attorney. That JD thing she was talking about earlier? Juris Doctorate. The legal definition of a Juris Doctorate, according to The FreeDictionary.com (hey what can I say? I’m cheap) is as follows: “Juris doctor, or doctor of Jurisprudence, commonly abbreviated J.D., is the degree commonly conferred by law schools. It is required in all states except California (which includes an option called law office study) to gain Admission to the Bar. Gaining admission to the bar means obtaining a license to practice law in a particular state or in federal court.”

Damn. No wonder I couldn’t get any answers out of her. Having once scored in the top two percentile on the law school entrance exam myself then discarding the law for theatre (yeah, I know—what was I thinking?) I was approaching this the wrong way.

At that point, Mary interjected, “Did I mention that I left theatre to study law? It's true.”

Oh really? Well, heck. That explained a lot. I realized that I would have to think like a lawyer if I was going to pry anything out of her. So, I threw her a curveball.

“How much change have you seen in your profession--both as an attorney and a writer--for our gender?”

Aha. Now I’ve got her!

“As a writer: I've seen us get a bit more respect. I tend to write in women friendly genres anyway: romance, mystery, children. Women are the norm there, but those areas of writing have often been derided as "Cozy" "Bodice Ripper" "Easy Reader" and looked down upon. Now I think we are taken more seriously as professionals within the writing community, but still get little respect from the mainstream or from the general media.

“As an attorney: I don't know that I've seen anything change in the last 15 years. It's possible for women to get near the top, but still damn hard to break through the glass ceiling. We still have to choose between career and family. In order to be taken seriously, many women try to—and are expected to—act like men. I refuse. People always tell me that I seem too nice to be a lawyer. I dunno. Maybe they expect me to bite the head off a pigeon before trial? I try my cases just like the girl next door and I win. So there.”

Finally! A spark of life flashed in her jurisprudence-tainted taciturnity! I’d succeeded! Time for a new curveball—one without exclamation points. “Tell me one story that encapsulates how you handled a moment of great decision.”

“Okay, gonna have to think on this one too. I have a few good lawyering war stories in me.”

I waited for a day and then she pled the fifth on me.

Obviously, it would take someone smarter than me to crack this cookie. Right off the top of my head, I couldn’t come up with anyone. So, I thought about Mary for a moment and recognized at last that she did have a weakness.

I would have to exploit it.

“If there is such a thing as perfection, what do you think it is?”

“Perfection doesn't exist. It isn't possible from flawed humans. Flaws are beautiful though and it is the infinite variety that makes life wonderful.” Damn. A typical lawyer answer. But then, Mary’s weakness swam to the surface. The briefcase-toting façade cracked. “Okay, but chocolate is close to perfection. Reaaaaaal close. With coffee. On a cold morning. While the kids are still in bed. And I have a great novel to read.”

I’d gotten to her. All of a sudden, Mary was no longer a lawyer. Out of the blue, she turned into a human. I knew I had to follow up quickly. “What is the loveliest sound you've ever heard?”

Her face changed, softened. Even those glowing red demon attorney eyes lightened into something somewhat resembling humanity. “Baby laughter. If I could bottle it and sell it, I'd be a kazillionaire.”

“What is the most important thing in your life that keeps you balanced—or unbalanced, such as the case may be?”

“My kids. They keep me humble and force me to interact with the world. I could turn into a hermit, but they won't let me.”

Was it possible? Was spawning the secret that all lawyers harbored, hidden in their oak-paneled offices as the sole evidence that they, too, shared the same DNA pool as the rest of the homo sapiens that inhabit our world? Is that why they all have those pictures of smiling kids on their desks? If that was so, then surely they had moments in the past that they dreamed of reliving, of rectifying in some strange way. So I asked her. I had to. “If you could go back to the age of twenty, what would you change now that would affect your situation today?”

“Nothing. Yes, I'm that boring. But I like my house and my kids and can't imagine doing things differently—except I'd have focused on novels much earlier and stopped all that poetry nonsense. I was sooo emo.”

I’d lost her again. In absolute desperation, I snapped, “Ten years from now, when you look back at this moment what will you wish you had told me?”

Mary Misenor, attorney, author and Soccer Mom, grinned—and then laughed in my face. “I should have told you to find someone more interesting to interview. Seriously, I go to work. Play with donkeys. Do homework with my kids. Go to den meetings. Church on Sundays. Write in all the spaces in between. I'm pretty plain vanilla.”

You know, for a while, I was kind of pissed off. Here I was, expecting some spectacular exposé on Mary’s exciting and demanding world and instead I got some rant about playing with donkeys?

And then it hit me.

Her life was pretty spectacular. Here was a woman who was juggling two careers, two children and at least two donkeys. Okay, five donkeys. While she claimed to be pretty plain vanilla, chocolate was as close to perfection as she thought she could get. What a dichotomy! What a contrast! Everything about her was a contradiction, as if when she’d developed her individuality she’d had too much to offer for just one person.

She had enough to be two people at the same time.

If you think about it, that’s one hell of an accomplishment. It takes a special person to be memorable, to be thought of with fondness or to inspire others to be the best that they can become. It takes a remarkable person to manage that while hiding behind a façade of normalcy so steeped in Americana that few would ever attempt to penetrate the second, private individual behind that façade. There are people in Texas who know Mary as a darn good prosecutor. There are people all over the world who think she’s one heck of a writer.

But in the end, there aren’t many people who know the Mary Misenor who walks with her sons across the fields of her ranch at sunset, listening to them chatter about their last Scout meeting while they play with the toy donkeys who romp around their feet.

Aren’t we the fortunate ones? We know the woman who smiles at us all and sneaks off to eat our chocolate while we’re not looking. I guess that makes the membership of Absolute Write part of a very elite group.

Every group of diverse people needs a Soccer Mom.

And every Soccer Mom deserves her very own LOLCat. Torture begets torture, after all.

sminterviewLOL.jpg
 
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vixey

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Shadow Ferret

sparklyferret.gif


Shadow_Ferret


Tell us about your avatar.
When I first came online, it was at a small chat room called the Virtual Irish Pub. We had ferrets at the time and lacking any originality in coming up with a user name, I just called myself The Ferret. That worked fine there, but then as I expanded my Interweb connections I found that The Ferret was a fairly common user name. So when I came to EZboard [where AW got started], and found The Ferret already taken, I decided to take the Ferret moniker, since many people already knew me by that, and add something to it. But what? Well, I’ve always been a fan of The Shadow, the pulp novel, old time radio character, so I thought, hey, Shadow Ferret.

But you asked about my avatar, didn’t you? Well, since over the years here at AW I’ve created this ferret persona, it just seemed natural to have a ferret of some sort in my avatar. So now I cruise the Interwebs looking for new and unusual ferret pics to make as my avatar. Besides, I’ve tried using other non-ferret pics as my avvie here from time to time, but every time I did I’d get so many reps asking “Where’s the ferret? I love the ferret?” that I’ve stopped trying to be anything but Ferret to you people.

Tell us about yourself. (Career? Married? Single? Children? Pets?)
I work as a technical writer for a contracting company. In other words, I get shipped out to different clients to help them do what their own people can’t do. Scary thought considering my skill level, which I think is nil.

I’ve been married for 15 years, but I’ve known her for 20. I have two children, both boys, ages 13 and 8. They’re complete opposites. The older one is laid back and was hardly ever a problem and spoiled us. The younger one is the result of a curse my mom cast upon me, “I hope you have a child just like you!” He’s my mini-me. We were in church the other day and I noticed him out of the corner of my eye imitating everything I was doing, so it became a game and I’m trying not to smile, but then he flashed this huge grin and I couldn’t help but laugh. In church.

I have 2 dogs, both rescued. Cobie, the Dalmatian mix, is mine, the Jack Russell mix is my wife’s. The Jack is afraid of me. He was abused and we think the abuser was male because he has a distinct fear of anything adult male. Cobie on the other hand is very needy, as you can see in my profile pic.

And there are 2 ferrets in the house, both albino, both my eldest’s, who essentially neglects them. I feel sorry for them. I’m the only one who interacts with them and that’s only to feed them and clean the cage.

What are the names of the 2 ferrets you have now?
Well, they’re white, so one is called Snowball, the other is called Nippy. Although the one named Nippy doesn’t nip, the other one does.

What got you interested in ferrets?
I’ve grown up with pets all my life. Dogs are my favorite animal, but I’ve had nearly everything else imaginable except lizards (although I’ve had salamanders, fish, and turtles) and birds (although as a child I tried to nurse some back to health). Call for Dr. Ferret! Anyway… we first lived in an apartment. No pets. At least no dogs, I think some people snuck in cats. I’m not a cat person. Not since the time as a kid that we were playing street baseball and this cat got on the “field” so I tried to shoe it away. It wouldn’t move, so I kicked it. It didn’t go anywhere except to cling to my leg, clawing and snarling at me while I screamed and all my friends ran away screaming. A neighbor had to come and get the cat off me and my mom, a nurse, still shudders at the memory of my leg.

Anyway, I digress (and I think my other favorite word is “anyway” [edit – see ‘What is your favorite word’ question below]), so no pets, but I wanted a pet. So I researched pets and came upon ferrets. I learned everything I could, presented it to my wife, who was LESS than enthusiastic about it, until I started dragging her to the pet store and showing her the baby ferrets.

How many have you owned over the years?
Suffice to say that we’ve own 7 over the years, as many as 3 at one time. We’ve even been given ferrets. One from a friend who just couldn’t take care of it and another from a co-worker whose husband works in the parks and just found it wondering around.

Please, ferrets are domestic animals. They will survive in the wild about as well as a toy poodle. (Despite the stupid California law that bans them because they’re afraid of them being released and causing problems, such as a business of feral ferrets going wild and eating all the kibble people leave lying around. Hello! They’re neutered before you buy them!) Do not release them into the wild.

You tend to post music in the Drunk Thread. What is your favorite kind of music/band? Why?
I’d say what is now called classic rock from the 70s. Although back then we called it space rock, or acid rock, or hard rock. It wasn’t even heavy metal when I listened to it – that was coined a little later, mid-70s maybe. And my favorite band is Black Sabbath. I just love the heavy crunch of Tony Iommi’s riffs. I think he’s created some of the best guitar riffs in the history of rock. Plus, a lot of their music has a dark fantasy quality to it. I used to play Black Sabbath while reading Robert E. Howard’s Conan stories and their sound has become so ingrained with that kind of story that whenever I write, I put them on for inspiration.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
I have several places I’d like to visit. I love Greek mythology, so I’d love to see the Acropolis. I’d like to see the Great Wall. The Forbidden City. Monasteries in Tibet. Love to go to Oktoberfest in Germany. I’d like to see medieval castles. But if I could actually live somewhere, I’d like to go live in Iceland. I spent three years there in the Navy and I just enjoyed the people, the pristine climate. It’s just a nice clean, quiet place where I think I’d get a lot of writing done as I’m soaking in the Blue Lagoon.

You say you spent time in the Navy. Why did you choose that branch of service? Tell us about your time in the Navy.
You know, sometimes I make spur of the moment decisions. I think its part of my ADHD, I don’t really think things through. I have no idea why I joined the Navy (over any other branch I mean) and when I found out they have ships and I get seasick and that I’m claustrophobic, well… Duh. Anyway, out of high school I just wanted to get away. My parents had divorced a year previously and I guess I was running away from that.

But there’s really not much to tell. I spent a year in school in San Diego. Hung out at the beaches in Orange County, specifically La Jolla. If I ever had the desire to leave Milwaukee and stay in the States, I think San Diego is one of the places I’d go to.

Then I spent 3 years in Iceland trying to avoid sea duty. You see, as a sailor, there is this sea/shore duty rotation. At the time it was 36 months sea duty, then 12 months shore duty. Iceland, because of its remoteness, counted as sea duty. So I was planning on staying there for my whole sea rotation then coming stateside.

And I did. Except that a month before my departure they changed the rotation to 48/12 (I’m not sure about the shore rotation, it might actually have been 24 months). And guess what? It was too late to extend my tour in Iceland.

So I got shipped out to the USS Coronado, an LPD (amphibious transport dock), which had taken the place of the USS La Salle, the flagship to the Commander of the Middle East Forces. It/they are the only all white ships in the Navy. Has something to do with showing our presence there and going back to President Teddy Roosevelt. Don’t ask me more, I don’t know. So I spent a year in the Persian Gulf, arriving a few weeks after the Iran Hostage Crisis ended.

That’s where I discovered that you can get used to seasickness. I was sick when I first got on board, then got used to it. Then we moved out into the Arabian Sea and larger waves and got seasick again. Then got used to that just as we went into the Indian Ocean during typhoon season.

So during that time I got to go ashore at Bahrain. Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates. And Mombasa, Africa. But one of the most fun times was when the ship went dead in the water in the Straits of Hormuz and started drifting closer and closer to the Iranian shore.

Although most of my time in the Navy is an alcoholic blur, I had a good time, made many friends, and visited some very interesting places.

Oh, and yes, I finally did get stationed stateside, but it was New Jersey so I guess I got screwed on that, too.

Would you encourage your sons to go into the service?
Yes, I would encourage them to join. I am very proud of my service to my country and think it is a great place to learn discipline, gain invaluable experiences most civilians will never have, and besides, with the GI Bill it helps pay for college and a home. But they better pick the Navy. If they even think of the Army I’ll disown them.

What is your favorite word? Why?
But. But is my favorite word. It must be, because it shows up in my writing all the time. I have a huge But problem. For some reason, while writing, every sentence I create works out to have a But in it. I have to consciously rewrite them all to eliminate the But. And it’s one of the first words I do a search for when I’ve completed a manuscript. I have literally hundreds of them throughout the document, sometimes several in just one paragraph. Therefore I have to literally rewrite hundreds of sentences to eliminate the But. (In fact, there’s a sentence in the second answer where I used it twice.)

What is your favorite book and why?
This is a hard question, because if I choose just one, it makes it seem that all the other books I’ve read aren’t my favorites, when in fact they are. I have many favorite books and all for different reasons. Some are favorites because I read them when I was very young and they influenced me as a writer then, but certainly wouldn’t influence me now because I’ve changed so much over the years. For instance, the first two books I read that took me down this road to being a writer were “Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar” by Edgar Rice Burroughs and “Conan the Adventurer” by Robert E. Howard and edited by L. Sprague De Camp. Both those books introduced me to heroes and adventures that were much larger than life, certainly larger than the Bobbsey Twins, which is the kind of stuff I was reading prior.

After reading those two books, and I can’t recall which I read first, it’s almost a virtual tie, I immediately started writing my own stories. And almost as immediately started submitting them and receiving rejections.

Another book that had a great influence on me was “Tropic of Cancer” by Henry Miller. It was the first book I read outside the action/adventure genre. It grabbed me by the throat and never let go. I’d never read anything so raw, so provocative, so angry and philosophic. I could see why the book was banned for 27 some years. A sample line is “This is not a book. This is a libel, slander, defamation of character. This is not a book, in the ordinary sense of the word. No, this is a prolonged insult, a gob of spit in the face of Art, a kick in the pants to God, Man, Destiny, Time, Love, Beauty.” And it was, and I loved it.

What do you write? Novels, shorts, non-fic? And what genre?
I write whatever catches my fancy. As a technical writer, I'm forced to write non-fiction every day of my life. And I have a blog to annoy people with, but then, who doesn't have a blog? Seriously! I'd like to meet that person, shake their hand, and thank them for not joining the rest of the overindulgent narcissistic world in cyberspace.

When I write for fun and profit, however, I tend to concentrate mostly on novels. I started out writing short stories, because I think short. That means I think in scenes and I’ve never been able to see the Big Picture (which is why I can’t outline). So when I started writing I wrote short stories and always marveled at people who could write longer. I even tried my hand at starting novels and that’s all I did was start them. I’d get in 4 chapters and be at a loss of what to do. But somewhere along the way, I broke that wall and finished a 195,000 word novel that is now trunked because I’m too lazy to fix it. But that novel showed me that I can write long even if I still think short.

Which means, I write a scene, when I’m finished with that, another scene presents itself and I write that. It’s like going into a house where all the doors are closed and I have to open each door and explore the room to get an idea of what the house is like.

And I try my hand at poetry, but I don’t feel I’m much good at that. I’m more prose oriented than anything.

And my primary genre is fantasy. My current subbing novel is an Urban Fantasy. My trunk novel was a medieval fantasy of sorts, but without any annoying elves or magic or anything. Another novel that I’m only 4 chapters in on (my first attempt at a novel) is about a half-elf and a snarky wise-cracking unicorn. Then I have a Space Opera novel (4 chapters in!) about a bounty hunter in the future who quotes Shakespeare. And except for the trunk novel, they all have this quirky humor to them, so maybe my genre is actually humor, though I don’t think of myself as a humorist. I’m certainly no Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett or Robert Asprin.

When did you know you wanted to be a writer?
Well, in a previous question, I guess I said right after I discovered Robert E. Howard and Edgar Rice Burroughs I started writing, which is true to the degree that that is when I started writing and seeking acceptance through publication, but I overlooked the fact that my parents gave me this working toy printing press when I was a kid. I still have it. It had a printing wheel and an ink roller and you’d take these metal bars and slide type onto them, put the bar onto the printing wheel and it would create a newsletter. I made a little one page newspaper that I’d hand out to my parents and friends. So I guess that’s when I really started writing, though at one letter at a time, I’m not quite sure how prolific I was.

What are your goals as a writer?

To get my novel published. Short term, I guess, to just get an agent, but get that thing published, to see my name on shelves next to all the fantasy greats, that would be so cool.

When did you join AW and what do you remember about joining then?
I joined AW back when it was still on EZBoard, so maybe 2004 or even before? At the time I was running my own writer’s board, which was fairly active at the time, and there were a couple other boards on EZboard I attended regularly, so AW sort of got lost in the shuffle. I don’t remember much about those days. It wasn’t until I got bored running my board and AW switched to its own server that I became a regular.

What is your favorite AW thread? Why?
The Royalty Thread. I guess it suits the fantasy writer in me. I love medieval history and this thread gives me a chance to act out, and sometimes write, that sort of story line.

And aside from that, it’s also my favorite thread because I’ve made some close and meaningful friendships there.

What is your favorite AW moment?

I don’t have a favorite moment, per se, there have been so many good times here, and I’ve met so many wonderful people, that honestly, some of this stuff just blurs together. However, and though I can’t point to any specific thread or event, I will say that my favorite moments on AW happened when my good friend PeeDee was here. We played off of each other’s posts and just had a rollicking good time. Sometimes a thread would degenerate into just the two of us going back and forth, puns flying like crazy. Other times MidnightMuse would get involved and also SpookyWriter. Those were good times. But PeeDee has put himself into Internet exile and MidnightMuse hardly comes by any more and Spooky, well, he did one practical joke too many and it backfired on him, earning him a permanent ban. I miss them.

But that isn’t to say I don’t have new best friends here who I have a ton of fun with. Probably the latest fun thing was the Halloween horror scenario we had going in the Royalty thread (starting on page 618). That was a lot of fun and not just because I started it (at my queen’s request, of course), but because everyone joined in and had a good time with it. It’s currently being serialized (by others, not me!) as “Evil Stalks the Castle.”

But, to be specific, my favorite moment at AW happens every day as I’m chatting with all my friends.

What is your worst AW moment?
Every April Fool’s Day. I’m not much for those kinds of shenanigans. I don’t find practical jokes very practical or funny. Plus, I’m easily fooled and when I get fooled I get angry. Mostly at myself, but I tend to take it out on everyone here. It’s a nasty quality I have and to avoid it I plan on taking that day off this year.

Oh, wait, now that I’ve thought about it. My worst AW moment is everyone’s worst AW moment who was here at that time. One May, several years ago, a certain evil agent managed to get AW shut down for several days and we all went through severe withdrawal. There were even temporary AW shelters set up for all the homeless posters to hang out at. It was a terrifying and tragic period in our history.

Following is a sample of Shadow_Ferret’s writing:
Here are the opening paragraphs to my currently subbed novel, A Life in Rune.

Superman. Now there was an ambitious man. No one forced him to be the hero of Metropolis, he chose to do it. He chose to take on the responsibility of saving the world.

The same can be said for anyone who becomes President or some other world leader. They have drive, ambition, and ego.

On the other hand, I had no such ambitions. I would have been perfectly happy living a life of obscurity, boredom, and ease. In fact, my dream job was to be retired. Even as a child while my friends wanted to be doctors or lawyers or firemen, I always thought past that to what I’d do the day I retired.

That was before Zeus called me into his office.
 
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vixey

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quickWit

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quickWit


Tell us about your avatar.
For months when I first joined AW I would change my avatar every week or so, using scenes from movies I liked for the most part. Somewhere along the line I became aware of Happy Bunny (which is the bunny in my avatar) and I started using a number of those. It just kind of stuck after a while.

Tell us a bit about yourself. (Career? Married? Single? Children? Pets?)
I work as a Systems Manager for a small engineering firm. (Basically, I’m a computer guy). I’ve been working in the civil/environmental industry since graduating high school. I’m very happily married (20 years next May), and my wife and I have 2 kids – a girl (13) and a boy (10).

What part of the world do you live in?
I live in the southern coastal region of New Jersey. My mom, sister and I moved south from north Jersey when my parents divorced about 30 years ago and I've lived in the region ever since.

What was your least favorite job?
The worst job I ever had was as a change-maker at an arcade on the boardwalk. I worked there 1 day, then called in sick 10 minutes before I was supposed to show up the next time and never went back. (Hey, I was 16. Sue me).

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
Hawaii. A reason? It’s HAWAII. Do I need more of a reason than that? :) I’ve always wanted to go and haven’t gotten there yet.

What is your favorite kind of music/band? Why?
I like lots of music really, but these days, if I had to choose one kind I’d say Alternative. I like the energy of it. But, if I had to pick a favorite band I’d say Metallica, but Metallica from the 80’s – 90’s.

What is your favorite word?
It’s a toss-up between noble and poetic.

What is your favorite book and why?
I’d have to say The Fellowship of the Ring by Tolkien. I read it as a teenager, again in my twenties and again a few years ago. It’s one of the few novels I’ve re-read. I think, more than anything, I’m awestruck by the sheer magnitude of the work. It’s an amazing example of bringing a setting and characters to life. Monsters, maidens, and a good sword fight or two always help as well.

What do you write? Novels, shorts, non-fic? And what genre?
The real answer to this question is "I'm not sure yet", but at the present time I'm working on a novel. I'm still in the early planning stages, which for me is the most enjoyable part. I love doing research, especially historical research. My current WIP is about a crime in 1773 Pennsylvania and the ensuing trial. What genre would that be?

What are your writing habits?
Unfortunately, my most consistent writing habit is finding reasons not to write. I don't have a set schedule or page count. I generally squeeze in what I can when I can and hope to make some progress. With this latest project I've been working mostly at night after my wife and kids have gone to bed, and during lulls at the office.

What are your goals as a writer?
Right now, my goal is to finish one blessed thing I start. It’s a terrible character flaw, but I never seem to finish anything I start to write. The idea I’m working on now I think is a good one, and I’m doing a bit of research and outlining to get the story mapped out. Hopefully it’ll have enough juice to keep me interested long enough to finish it.

When did you join AW and what do you remember about joining then?
I joined in December of last year. What do I remember? I remember a crazy Christmas party thread, a crazy gift exchange thread, waking up in the middle of the night and feeling the urge to go downstairs and log on. Discovering people whom I thought were hysterical and finding later that I was right. Oh, and Murray from accounting. I remember him.

What is your favorite AW thread? Why?
Oh, that’s a toss-up between the Comedy Cabaret and the Bologna and Cream Cheese Burrito Cantina. I love the people there, I love the banter. It’s awesomely awesome.

What is your favorite AW moment?

My favorite moment for me personally was very early after joining about a year ago. I’d been posting for a short time, not more than a couple of weeks, when a thread was started about newbies. It was something along the lines of “Which newbies are memorable/have made an impact this year”. In this thread, Silver King made a post saying that he appreciated my sense of humor, which a number of people responded to in kind. That meant a lot to me.

Following is a sample of quickWit’s writing:
This is not from my current WIP, but from an unfinished MS I was working on last year.

“Margaret Meehan had been with Dr. Leslie almost as long as he’d been an ME. At 56 years old, her grandmotherly appearance belied a stern, no nonsense demeanor. She was notoriously blunt, exceedingly competent and fiercely loyal to Dr. Leslie. Standing just over five feet tall, it had been observed by some that she resembled a tomato perched atop a pair of toothpicks. Her ample frame occupied the majority of the hallway making it necessary for visitors to walk a pace behind her, which was precisely the way Ms. Meehan liked it.”
 
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vixey

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Bayou Bill

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Bayou Bill

Tell us about your avatar.
The guy in the hat is three-time Louisiana Governor Earl Long, the kid brother of Huey Long, the Kingfish. I got to meet him (Earl not Huey) and really liked the guy.

Tell us a little about yourself.

At one time or another I've been a country grocery store clerk, oil field roustabout, infantry soldier, graduate student, paper pusher for the government, out-of-work, a newspaper columnist, and now a struggling fiction writer.

I have a Bachelor’s from LSU and a Master's from Louisiana Tech (both in history), and had academic work published. My fiction has appeared in Rose and Thorn, USADeepSouth, DeadMule.com, New Works Review, Chick Flicks, Muscadine Line, Nibbler, and now, Long Story Short.

After picking up a Combat Infantry Badge and Purple Heart in Vietnam, I lived in New York City off-and-on from 1970-1972 undergoing a series of eye operations and meeting my future wife. That experience is the background for my first novel, A Brief Affair.

Although born and raised in Louisiana, I'm out-stationed with my family in Dallas where I've just finished my second novel, We Danced to Ray Charles, a coming-of-age, mainstream story, set in a small Southern town in 1968. As proof the age of miracles hasn’t past, it was named a semi-finalist in the 2005 Faulkner competition.

You've mentioned elsewhere you've been happily married for 30 plus years and that you have two daughters. What other family has been added along the way?

Well, since you asked. We have three children, two girls and a boy and, thanks to the oldest one, two granddaughters. She’s an RN. Number-two daughter is a special ed teacher. Our son is in the second year of the graduate screenwriting program at the American Film Institute in LA.

When did you first discover you wanted to become a writer?

I was a slow learner, but about halfway through the first grade I started to get the hang of writing.

Why did you write your first story?
I’m not positive, but odds are my fear of getting a whipping if I came home with a “F” in English on my report card played a big role.

What do you write: novels, shorts, non-fiction? And what genre?

Most of my short stories have been romances, dramas, comedies, and/or unpublished. My two novels have been mainstream.

What inspires you to write?

I use a lot of imagination to try and turn selected bits of my real-life experiences into something interesting. It’s a challenge.

What are your goals as a writer?
To write at least one novel that’s well-crafted, entertaining, and what Hemingway referred to as, “true.” I suppose getting the thing published would be another goal. Otherwise, it would be like talking to myself.

What do you find the most frustrating and rewarding about writing?
I’ve never pulled a Balzac, and rolled on the floor, tearing my hair out trying to think of the perfect word, phrase, or description, but I feel his pain.

The most rewarding part is when a reader says something you wrote touched them. It’s very humbling, but also an incredible rush.

What books inspire you to write and who are your favorite authors?
Good ones.

My favorite authors are the usual list of suspects: Faulkner, Hemingway, Steinbeck, P. G. Wodehouse, Elmore Leonard, Walker Percy, Walter Moseley, Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor, etc.

Do you read often?
A lot, at least these days. Back when I was working full-time, very active in community service work, and doing my best to help housebreak three kids, there was no time for novels. That was tough for a guy who minored in English Lit. Now, I’m trying to catch up.

How do rejection letters affect you?
I try to pity the poor fool who wrote the misguided sucker. If that doesn’t work, there’s always Jack Daniels.

Have you ever suffered from writer’s block?
Who me, writer’s block? What a concept. But seriously folks, when stuck I either re-write, which often restarts the flow, or walk the dogs.

Describe your writing routine.
For me, there’s no such thing as a typical writing day. I have a schedule; it’s just very neglected.

Do you have any advice for fledgling writers?
Don’t bore your reader. It’s analogous to Elmore Leonard’s famous writing maxim: Try to leave out the parts readers tend to skip.

When did you join AW and what do you remember about joining then?
June 2006. My most vivid memory of joining is being very confused. That hasn’t change much, of course.

Do you have a favorite thread at AW? Why?
Royalty For A Week. Why? For me, it’s a fun place to kickback and enjoy the give-and-take and support.

How have you benefited from AW as a writer?
AW used a how-to piece of mine, On Being A Happy Hooker, in its newsletter, which is a classy credit to flash at editors. Giving and getting critiques is always a plus. I tend to infest the Suddenly Fiction forum. And the tips on writing and calls for submissions is invaluable.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Well, we’ve left out any mention of me winning second place in the tetherball competition at Boy Scout camp one year, fouling out in the second quarter of a basketball game, being class reporter in ninth grade, or breaking my nose while playing chess.

Following is a sample of Bill’s writing:
From Crossed Up, a published short story.

“The barking dog in back was Belle, short for Beelzebub; the bad tempered by-product of a brief but turbulent liaison between a vicious Rhodesian Ridgeback and a brutal Catahoula Cur hog dog.”
 
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jst5150

Vorpal Comics. Weekly Podcast. Twitch Artist. Vet
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Jason interviews DClary

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What's the first thing people notice about you when they meet you?

The first thing people notice about me depends entirely on the person. In certain dating circles, I've been told, women look at a man from the feet up: boots, pants, ass, chest, face.... Most women then notice first and foremost that I'm not wearing shoes. Most athletic guys take note that I'm fat. Tall people note that I'm not very short.

The second thing everyone notices about me is that I'm very funny in conversation.

Name three things about high school (or college) you hated and why.

I distinctly remember being miserable and hating high school, although for the life of me I cannot remember why, because every memory I have of it is fond.

The three things I hated most:

1) I hated the fact that everyone I knew had a girlfriend and/or was having sex and I wasn't. I was a student leader in our church, and so the few girls I did date in high school I did so exceptionally platonically.

2) I hated the fact that my school's entire raison d'etre seemed to be driven by fierce, unrelenting competition. In hindsight, I am very grateful that they gave me the tools I needed to succeed in life, instead of unwarranted "self-esteem."

3) And I guess I hated me. I didn't really start liking myself until after I was married, and looking back, that's probably why I was so miserable in school.

Tell me your best Thanksgiving story and make it funny.

A minister, a rabbi and a turkey walk into a bar...

I don't know if this is my best thanksgiving story, or even if it's a thanksgiving story at all, but there's enough elements to it that it could be a thanksgiving story, and I'm writer enough to make the rest work. Plus it's a true story, and that's a bonus.

On most thanksgivings we spent the day with family, but as our families moved progressively farther away from us, we found that one year we'd be alone. Just lclary and I, and our pets, including the most famous of schipperkes: Captain Bear E. Clary, escape artist extraordinaire, and master heist plotter.

As it so happens, lclary prepared a beautiful honeybaked ham, as she was no fan of sticking her hands inside a turkey's ass to prepare one for to eat.

We left the ham on the kitchen island, in the pan, to cool off while we went to church or some such.

When we got home...

Our little dog, all 14 pounds of him, had somehow managed to leap up onto (or near enough) the island to pull the pan down onto him, and proceed to eat at least half his bodyweight in ham.

He was coated head to toe in honey glaze. Little honeyglazed paw prints wandered throughout the kitchen. And when he saw us, and saw our bewilderment, he looked us straight in the eye, and said, (in doggish eye-look, of course)...

"The cat did it."

You dreamt of growing up and being/working in what occupation? So what happened?

I wanted to go to the US Military Academy, and become the greatest 5-star general in American history. As it turned out, West Point only takes 4.0 graduates with congressional connections. Alas.

What is the toughest adjustment you have made since the death of your wife?

The toughest adjustment I've had to make in the last year and a half is having a reason for living. To be honest, I still don't have one. I don't keep my house in order, I don't save that much money. Everything I spent the last 16 years working for became moot, and it's very difficult trying to convince myself to commit to anything again.

I do a very good job of pretending that my life means something, and that someday I'll have a reason for excelling, or even just giving a damn. But that's just on the outside. The inside knows better than that.

Pitch me your latest piece of writing and why I should buy it in under 60 words.

The Faithful is a fantasy novel in the tradition of Stephen Donaldson's Thomas Covenant series. The recalcitrant former hero of a kingdom on the brink of war is called upon to perform one last task for the king he despises: escort a young priestess to her God's holy mountain and help her prevent the world-ending catastrophe she's forseen.

I think that's exactly 60 words.

Why did you ask to return to the AW forum after being banned for a time?

I've been all over this internet galaxy, kid. There's not a better, more skilled, more dedicated, or more gifted group of writers than the ones here. I regretted the decisions I made that got me banned the moment I made them. I'm extremely grateful I've had a chance to come back and make things right.

You have a professional/career goal itch you cannot attain right now. Why?

I'd like to be published or sell a screenplay someday. But this isn't so much an itch as a place I like to rub. I'm actually -- and who knows how much of this is the "I don't give a damn" talking -- pretty content in my career path.

A third "Batman" sequel is planned. Your choice -- what villain does the Dark Knight battle and why?

I'm not a big Batman fan. Hell, I like Aquaman better than Batman, and all Aquaman can do is talk to fish.

That said, the Batman only has a few well-known villains. If I were to do Batman 3.. I'd love to see them do the Joker again. I have no idea how they'd do it. But Superman has Lex, the X-Men have Magneto, and Aquaman has Black Manta... Batman's nemesis is, and always should be the Joker. Otherwise, why not make a new bad guy? If you're reinventing the character for the screen, why not reinvent the bad guys too?

Give me the closing for you Pulitzer Prize for Fiction speech.

In a million years, no one will remember the planet earth. In a thousand years, it's likely no one will remember mankind. In a hundred years, not one person will care who won the pulitzer. But what matters is never tomorrow. Who cares is never the next guy. What matters is now, and who cares are the people you know and love and interact with everyday.

To them, this award means only that the rest of the world has discovered what they already knew. To me, it means their faith in me was justified.

In the end, it means nothing.

And everything.

Thank you, good night.
 

Shadow_Ferret

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Vixey Interview

She's only been here since June, but Vixey has quickly become a popular member of AW, and has become a regular welcome wagon in the Newbie forum. I also consider her one of my closest friends. Here is her interview.

What are you doing now? (Career? Married? Single? Children? Pets?)
I suppose I’m a stay at home mom, but I hate that term. I have a small online pewter business selling liturgical jewelry, but that doesn’t take up much of my time. I’m actively looking for a job in event management.

I’m married with three children, all teenagers – one (boy) in college. My daughters are in high school. I’m enjoying this phase of their lives for many reasons, but mainly because they can do so much for themselves. Driving is key.

I have a golden retriever mix, Chamois, who’s nine and very sweet because her personality is a reflection of mine. Modesty? Me?

Tell us a bit about yourself. What would you like us to know about you?
In addition to what I wrote above, I suppose I could add that I was born and raised in Charlottesville, Virginia. (I was born in the same hospital as my grandmother and father.) And I was so taken by the University of Virginia (also in Charlottesville) that I went to school there. I was a Towny. Until seven months ago, my license plate was TOWNY.

I worked in DC for a few years after school for a lobbyist and later in an executive administrative position for a political association. Let’s just say Bill and Hillary were often in our offices, while he was still governor. And there are a slew of other muckety mucks I dealt with on a daily basis, but I won’t share all of them here. It was a heady job and if I hadn’t left to have a baby, I might still be doing it today.

You came to writing rather late in life, within the last few years. Can you tell us what inspired you to take up the pen?
I began writing three years ago.

The inspiration came from a need to entertain myself in the middle of the night. Sleeping husbands don’t appreciate insomniac wives who turn on the light in the middle of the night to read. So…what to do if you don’t want to get out of a nice warm bed?

I’ve always been a daydreamer. My mother says that I’d be the one in ballet class staring off into space while everyone else sashayed across the room. When I was very young I conjured two little people, Sweetie and Pogo, to sit on my pillow as I waited for sleep and talk to me. Wish I could remember what we talked about.

But as an adult when I woke at night, I began to fantasize about stories I’d read. I imagined disappearing into a different era, having different lovers, living a different life. I’d log these segments of stories in my brain to be continued the next night. One morning, as I woke I could see the scene from my fantasy being written. I saw each word appear as though someone, me, were typing it. That day, still in my pajamas and robe, I sat at my computer and began typing a story.

A related question: Do you feel that coming to the game late is an advantage or a disadvantage? Explain.
I can’t answer to the advantages, because I just don’t see them.

As to disadvantages, I suppose if I’d started writing at a young age I would have learned many of the writing ‘rules’ earlier, such as Tom Swifties, POV switches, showing versus telling. All of these no-noes show up in my earliest writing. Everything I’m learning now about publishing and agents, either on AW, in books, or through trial and error, would have happened anyway – just earlier.

I suppose the biggest disadvantage is the loss of some great stories I may have written at earlier points in my life.

What do you write? Novels? Short stories? Poetry? Non-Fiction? Which do you prefer and why?
Novels – I can mess around with someone else’s life and make it happy for them in the end. I call it escapism. It gives me a control I don’t have in my own life.

I’m currently working on a non-fiction piece with a woman who wants to tell the world about her experience in adopting an African American ten-year-old boy raised in generational poverty. It’s heart-wrenching and exhausting. I have to take breaks from the research and her interviews. Let’s just say the interviews have become a form of therapy for her, which means I have to put on my big girl pants and be supportive.

What is your favorite genre to write in? To read in?
I tend to write women’s fiction, but I’ve discovered I like writing action and dialogue the best. My current WIP is a YA fantasy – no weres, vamps, or dragons – at least not yet. You never know what those pesky characters are going to throw at you.

For reading, I suppose women’s fiction is the first book I’ll pick up at the bookstore. But I also like gothic suspense, occult style horror, and, lately I’m trying to catch up on classics I missed out on along the way.

How do you generate story ideas?
I have no idea. Seriously. Some ideas come to me while I’m driving, some as I’m waking up. Other ideas come to me based on incidents from my life.

Give us an example of a typical writing day.
That has changed for me recently due to other commitments. But when I wrote my previous novels, I became obsessed with writing them. I’m not a good wife and mother when I’m into writing. Instead of a home-cooked meal, the family is likely to get tacos or spaghetti sauce from a jar. I would literally write, write, write from the moment I woke until I just couldn’t write anymore. And I’d resent anything that stopped me from doing that.

Lately, however, I’m in the early stages of a WIP that’s a genre switch for me. In this case, I like writing in small spurts – like two or three pages at a time. I find the story changes direction and becomes more fascinating that way. And I find I’m listening and watching my characters and allowing them to lead me on a journey.

What are your strong qualities as a writer?
Well, I don’t think this is a fair question. Being unpublished I don’t feel my writing talent is validated. However, I enjoy writing action and dialogue more than description. My son suggested I should look into screenwriting. Nah. That’s his territory.

Your weaknesses?
Creating conflict. I have difficulty hurting my characters, physically and emotionally. But, I know it’s got to be done. I killed one once and I just couldn’t write much beyond the funeral.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
I’d go to Holden Beach, NC. I love being at the beach after high season even when it’s cold. I love walking the beaches, listening to the waves and gulls, and the smell of salt air. Some of my best writing has occurred at this beach. My bedroom in my MIL’s cottage is on the ocean side and I set up a table in front of the window there. I literally stare out at the waves with my hands on my keyboard never looking at the screen. It’s truly an inspirational feeling.

What is your favorite book and why?
The answer to the question varies at different points in my life. Today, my answer would be Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander, a paranormal adventure with strong romantic elements. Gabaldon transports her reader to a tempestuous time in Scottish history with such realism I feel that I come away from reading it scarred.

List your three favorite authors (any genre) and why?
  • Thomas Hardy because I fell in love with his voice as a teenager so much that I read all of his books the minute I could get my hands on one.
  • Anita Shreve, whom I’ve mentioned several times on this board, because I love her voice for its poetic prose.
  • Sue Monk Kidd, more for her inspirational works, but I just find her to be an interesting person. I’ve heard her speak and I’d love to sit and chat with her some day.

What do you think makes a writer successful?
  • Not being afraid to submit.
  • Passion for his/her work.
  • Effectively bleeding that passion into a story.
  • The ability to appreciate criticism.
  • The dedication to BICHOK!

What are your goals as a writer?
My goal is to be published – to see at least one novel in print. My dream goal is to have my screenwriter son adapt one of my novels for the screen.

How long did it take you to write your book(s)?
I have two completed novels (the second one was written twice) that each took about 4-6 months to write.

If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be and why?
My great-great grandmother who was a Catawba Indian. I’d just like to see her in person, hear her speak, and hear the love story that inspired the cross-cultural union between her and my great-great grandfather . I would love to write that story.

What is your favorite food?
That’s a funny question. I don’t really think I have a favorite. When I’m recovering from being ill or otherwise in need of comfort food, I want mashed potatoes and gravy. I also love Chinese food…but not with mashed potatoes and gravy.

What is your favorite color?
Yellow – it’s happy.

What is your favorite sound?
Ocean waves
A fire crackling
A mournful oboe

What is your favorite article of clothing?
It’s easier to answer what my least favorite is. But that doesn’t answer the question.

A man’s worn shirt. Seriously, a well-worn long shirt in a soft cotton or faded denim, with the scent of your honey, is just, well…I like it.

What is your favorite word?
‘Yes,’ as in it’s the word I like to hear the most. Examples: Will you clean your room? ‘Yes.’ Can I have a glass of wine? ‘Yes.’ Could you just make that check out to me? ‘Yes.’

What is your most favorite quality about yourself?
I’m comfortable in my own skin. I’ve experienced many highs and lows, as we all have, and I’ve learned to be happy in the moment, not worry about tomorrow, and not to give a darn about what other people think about me. Their opinions are none of my business anyway. I love me, therefore everyone else should too.

What is the least favorite quality about yourself?
I procrastinate! In fact, I’m surprised I finished these questions four days before they’re supposed to be posted.

If you could have any talent in the world besides writing, what would it be?
I’ve thought about this question a lot because there are many experiences I’d like to have that don’t involve writing, but I can’t think of a specific talent. I’m going to take the question in a different direction.

I have a talent for music. I studied piano for ten years and *blushes* I was quite good in my hey day. Being without a piano at present, my fingers itch to play. Playing the piano is the single best source of tension release for me. So, in spite of my lame attempt to redirect and answer the question, my answer is I’d like to hone my talent for playing the piano. I’d like to master Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsody Number 2.
 
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Shadow_Ferret

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MSCelina Interview

Celina Summers, aka MSCelina, is the author of The Asphodel Cycle which includes The Reckoning of Asphodel, The Gift of Redemption, and the just released Temptation of Asphodel. I had the pleasure of interviewing her for AW's Day of Listening.

:)
Tell us a bit about yourself. What would you like us to know about you?
My mother was French, and immigrated to the U.S. after she met and married my father, who is of Cherokee descent and was stationed in Paris. I grew up in Tennessee, where I learned how to bale hay and strip tobacco at a very young age. As a child, I spent my summers in France--including attending school in a little town called Meaux, which is fifty kilometers or so from Paris. From the time I was nine, my mother would take me into Paris and drop me off in the Louvre, and I spent hours every day sitting in front of the greatest masterpieces of art available.

Somewhere around here is a picture of my younger brother and myself standing beside one of the huge vineyards in the Champagne region of France. The memory is probably one of my strongest memories because they grew poppies in between the vines. As far as the eye could see, there were long lines of green interspersed with rows of red and yellow poppies that grew taller than we were. In the picture, I have an armful of poppies that was larger than I was.


What are you doing now? (Career? Married? Single? Children? Pets?)
I'm now writing full time, primarily speculative fiction, and freelancing as an editor for a couple of small presses. I used to be a professional actor, but let my union memberships lapse some years ago. I may go back to it someday. Naturally, as a writer and actor, I really worked as a bartender and server for most of my adult life. I'm married to a brilliant man, one who speaks seven languages and yet still can't manage to change the oil in the car. My husband, Shannon, supports me in every thing that I do and I think our relationship is truly special.

I have two daughters from a previous marriage: Audrey, who is an artist working in oils and sculpture and is studying at Western Kentucky University, and Meredith, who is getting married this weekend and is expecting her first child in June--making me a grandmother at forty-two. Someone shoot me.
As for pets, we have been rescuing cats for years. At the moment, we have thirteen cats either inside or outside. My personal favorite is a little black calico named Biscuit, who owns the house and knows it.


When did you first realize you had a talent for writing? When did you start to believe it could be a viable career option?
I was one of those weird kids who started reading at the age of two. My parents used to invite people over to listen to me read the TV Guide--it was their favorite party game. I started writing poetry at 7. My first poem was published at age 8. I still torture myself with bad iambic pentameter on occasion. I've always written. I wrote my first full length novel at 17. I thought it might be a viable career choice when I sold my first novel and was contracted for the series.

What do you write? Novels? Short stories? Poetry? Non-Fiction? Which do you prefer and why?
I primarily write novels--almost entirely speculative fiction. I have seventeen novels "done" at the moment and in various stages of revision. I prefer writing novels because even when I write poetry now, it turns out to include the term "epic." Just to be different, though, I have an anthology of short stories coming out this winter.

What is your favorite genre to write in? To read in?
Primarily, I've been writing fantasy, although I've been delving in horror a bit more lately. As for reading--my current obsession is biographies and autobiographies. At the moment, I'm concentrating on the Tudor era.

How do you generate story ideas?
They just come to me.
No, seriously--my earlier works were based on Greco-Roman mythology. I was taking those famous myths and warping them with fantasy archetypes just to see what would happen. Currently, I'm writing a series of books that explores the theme of "God versus man" with a twist. My almost ready to submit novel, Terella, is centered around a goddess who gets amnesia and forgets her divinity. She discovers corruption in the Temple—the one that worships her--becomes an atheist and leads a revolution against the false religion. Then she remembers that SHE is the false god. Pretty wacky stuff.


Give us an example of a typical writing day.
I wake up early--at 7 am. I start off with three hours of editing (have to make a living) then take a break to play online. Then I'll write in four two-hour blocks, taking brief play breaks in between. At night, I usually revise or do some world building. Then I always write for at least another hour, usually going to bed at 2 or 3 am.

What are your strong qualities as a writer?
My editing job. If it weren't for the fact that I have to edit well (if I want to get paid) I wouldn't write nearly as well. My strongest points as a creator/writer are world building and character development. I studied playwriting under Howard Stein, former professor emeritus at the Yale School of Drama and Dean of the Columbia Theatrical department, and I'd like to think that my work with him has enabled me to have insight into character development beyond the trite restrictions of my mind.

Your weaknesses?
Commas. Adverbs. Thats. Probably most horribly, I have a nasty tendency to hold on to a manuscript longer than I should. I'm always seeking that perfection when I should be seeking publication.

Can you tell us, why the fascination with elf killing?
This is actually funny. When I started writing the Asphodel series, I purposely created a race of Elves because I HATED them. HATED them. I hated how prissy they were, how perfect they were, how they never got dirty, never bled, never cursed and never did anything bad. I wanted to take familiar fantasy archetypes and bend them in my work. So, I figured the best way to get over my Elf hatred was to kill as many of them as possible and keep a running tally. There's a super-secret link on my website that has the running dead Elf tally on it. To date in the Asphodel series, I have killed 148,301 Elves. Of those Elves, almost 500 have very specific and described individual deaths. Whether those deaths make it into the final version of a story or not is a game time decision when I rewrite.

What do you think sets you apart from other writers in your genre?
Stubborness. That's about it.

Aside from writing, you also are an editor. What can you tell us about Celina the editor?
Celina the editor remembers the rules that Celina the writer forgets. I'm not a grammar fanatic, per se, but I am particular. I tend to negotiate plot problems with my authors; I try not to be an autocratic editor. But, if it doesn't work, I'll let the writer know in no uncertain terms. There have been a couple of writers who couldn't handle that, but for the most part they love me. Also, I'm fast. I can edit a 100k novel thoroughly in less than ten days.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
The UK--too many people over there owe me a beer.

What inspires you to write and why?
Waking up in the morning is pretty much all it takes. Everything inspires me to write: a good hamburger, a snowfall, a football game, the fight I just had with my kid--somehow it all ends up that way. I find myself with a pen jotting notes in my journal.

What is your favorite book and why?
Totally not fair. This week--probably John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany

List your three favorite authors (any genre) and why?
Today?
JK Rowling--because she brought a generation of kids out of the X-Box and back into books.
Jane Austen--because she endures and is beloved
Homer--because he just is.


What is it that makes you successful as a writer?
I consider myself a success if one person reads my story and is entertained.

What are your goals as a writer?
Never to stop.

How long did it take you to write your book(s)?
A first draft can take anywhere from six weeks to six years. It depends on the book. I've managed to write seven complete first drafts this year. It may take me ten to get them 'finished.'

Tell us about your publishing success (title, publishing date and company, where it is available to purchase).
My epic fantasy series The Asphodel Cycle is being published by Aspen Mountain Press. The first book, The Reckoning of Asphodel, was a top ten finisher in the Preditors & Editors Best Fantasy Novel of 2007 Readers poll. The sequel, The Gift of Redemption, came out in June of this year and the third book, Temptation of Asphodel was just released. They can be found at the AMP site (www.aspenmountainpress.com) as well as Amazon, Fictionwise, other small online distributors and -- are you ready for this? -- Target.com.

We hear you’ve been on the best seller list. Can you explain that?
I have no explanation. All I know is that one day, Neil Gaiman's Stardust was at number one and the movie got released. The next day, The Reckoning of Asphodel was number one at Fictionwise, knocking Gaiman off the top spot. Asphodel stayed at number one for several weeks. I was most pleased.

What would you do differently if you could repeat the same publishing experience?
I would have been more persistent in my initial querying process.

What have you learned about the publishing world?
That it doesn't matter how smart I think I am, I'm still stupid.

Now The Asphodel Cycle is a series, not a trilogy, correct? How many more books do you have planned? Can you tell us a little about the future you might have planned for Asphodel?
The Asphodel Cycle is a four book series, which will conclude this spring with Apostle of Asphodel. There is a second series involving the characters of Asphodel, called Compulsion of Dis. The Compulsion series, also four books, will deal with most of the familiar characters from the first series. This time, they're not out to save the world. This time, they're out to save the gods--save two. One renegade god is the son of Dis, the God of Death, and the other--well, let's just say that the other will be well known to Asphodel readers. Congratulations, Ed--you just got a scoop! The only other person in the world to know that information is my editor. There are also two stand alone novels set in the Asphodel world, about characters that have nothing to do with the characters of the novels, and quite a few Asphodel short stories that were originally written as backstories for the series and will come to light eventually on their own. The first short story, The Seduction of Abur, will appear in my short story collection Metamorphosis in 2009.

If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be and why?
Queen Elizabeth I. We could have a great conversation.

What is your favorite food?
lasagna

What is your favorite color?
dark green. I'm a redhead--hello.

What is your favorite sound?
A snowy night.

Who is your favorite person?
my husband.

What is your favorite place?
my study.

What is your favorite memory?
The day my oldest daughter was born.

What is your favorite article of clothing?
Black boots. All thirteen pairs of them that I own.

What is your favorite word?
defenestration--it's the act of throwing someone out of a window

If you could have any talent in the world besides writing, what would it be?
kindness

Is there anything you’d like to tell us about yourself that might surprise people at AW?
I donate 10 % of my royalties every month to my favorite AIDS charity.
 
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Shadow_Ferret

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Yeshanu Interview

She's an elf, with a daughter. You know her better as Yeshanu, and I had the pleasure of interviewing her.! Here are my questions. Have fun with it. :)

My daughter is sitting beside me, "helping." Does that qualify as having fun? :tongue

Tell us a bit about yourself. What would you like us to know about you?
I'm a violist and proud of it. I make no apologies for my vice.

I have a B.A. (with most of my courses in Psychology and Sociology), a Master of Divinity, and a Master of Pastoral Studies. Those exalted degrees have overqualified me to work as an Assistant Manager in not one, but two movie theatres (same chain, though.) I love what I do, and watching movies that have been made out of books that are worse than the worst of my writing inspires me to keep on going with this writing thing.

I'm a Cate Blanchett fan. (Bet y'all didn't know that, huh?)


What are you doing now? (Career? Married? Single? Children? Pets?)
Separated but not divorced. Still good friends with my not-quite-sure-what-to-call-him husband/ex/best friend. Three overgrown alien elves as progeny. One cat that's never learned the difference between cats and dogs, as far as I can tell, because he's always following me around the house. My son thinks I need another cat.

When did you first realize you had a talent for writing? When did you start to believe it could be a viable career option?
Did you just imply that I have talent? I wrote my first paying piece when I was six years old. It was a non-fiction story about the school burning down around me, and my dad paid me a dime for it. He offered a quarter if I'd go back and add more details, from which I learned a most important lesson about my writing--I don't like to edit. I never did earn that quarter.

When I was in Grades Seven and Eight, the other kids accused me of plagiarizing, because a lot of my poems were chosen for the yearbook, and they didn't much like that or me. In Grade Nine, I earned top marks for a humour piece that made fun of the teacher and her husband, even though it had a spelling mistake. (One that I noticed, but she didn't.)

But I didn't start writing seriously until about twenty years ago (yes, I'm that old :D), when I picked up pen and paper (yes, I'm really that old :D), and started writing a novel based on some of my group's Dungeons and Dragons characters.


What do you write? Novels? Short stories? Poetry? Non-Fiction? Which do you prefer and why?
I read anything with words on it. I write a lot of things, but somehow they all come out sounding like sermons. Fortunately, they're mostly good sermons, as I've got both the talent and the training that makes them that way.

Seriously, though, (in case this is news to anyone here) I prefer reading and writing fantasy, though I'm going to try my hand at a contemporary romance sometime this year, and I've got a non-fiction book or two on the back burner. I write book length prose. Something in me needs the longer form. (Meaning, I'm far too wordy...)

I also write poetry, though it's mostly hit-and-miss. For poetry, I do need to be inspired by the subject. Prose I can just whip off with little effort, but poetry takes time and patience.


What is your favorite genre to write in? To read in?
See above.

How do you generate story ideas?
Daughter's answer: My brain falls out and I write whatever words they look like.

Me: That's not a bad description of the process. I started my NaNo novel with three dares and a first line. I started my first novel with a few wacky characters. Then I wrote down whatever the characters chose to do.

For non-fiction, I have to research, and I have been known to outline, but I just can't seem to work from an outline when it comes to writing fiction.


Give us an example of a typical writing day.
??? What is this "typical" you ask of? Seriously, each day varies so much that I can't really describe one. Some days I write thousands of words. Most days I write none at all.

On the days when I do write, I'll write for half an hour, then go do something else for fifteen minutes, like laundry or eat or dishes or something, then come back for another half hour spurt. I can go for about five or six hours this way, and have done between five and seven thousand words on a really good day.


What are your strong qualities as a writer?

The ability to churn out large quantities of intelligent-sounding B.S. in a very short period of time. :tongue

I write very quickly, and edit in my head as I go, so I can write very clean-looking first drafts.


Your weaknesses?
Daughter's answer: Fried Chicken.

(Smartass kid, but she's right...)

As a writer, I think my weaknesses are two: 1) I'm not disciplined enough to write every day, 2) I hate revising my work, and 3) I am occasionally attacked by bouts of depression, where I doubt my ability to do anything right.

Also, I can't count, but then, I'm a violist.


If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
Australia, and not just because Cate Blanchett's there. It's also warm there, which it isn't here right now. I've also had a long-standing desire to scuba dive on the Great Barrier Reef.

What inspires you to write and why?
Ideas just pop out of the compost in my head. :D

Really, just about anything can set me off--I'm always asking questions about the silliest things. Like taking a bus ride, and pretending an alien from outer space is sitting beside me, asking questions about what it sees out the window. Or I'll read a short story in the newspaper, or online, and say, "What if...?"

What is your favorite book and why?
Okay, folks, if you don't know this, you're worse off than I thought. (Ed will guess Lord of the Rings. ;)) As to why, I once wrote an essay for one of my profs answering that question. It was about twenty pages long, as I remember. :tongue

Which is to say, a real answer to that question is going to be way longer than most folks would stand, and I really can't make the answer shorter.

Suffice it to say, I've been trying (and failing) for years to write something that even approaches Tolkien's genius. It's both helped and hindered my writing.


List your three favorite authors (any genre) and why?
J.R.R. Tolkien, kind of goes without saying.
Mary Balough, who writes Regency Romances.
J.K. Rowling, Alice Walker, James D. MacDonald, Terry Pratchett.

I did tell you I couldn't count, didn't I?


What do you think makes a writer successful?
Persistence. Knowledge of how things in the publishing industry work. An interesting story idea. And yet more persistence.

What are your goals as a writer?
To become filthy rich like J.K. Rowling or Dan Brown or Stephanie Meyer. Seriously, I want to write a book or ten that is going to be read by a large number of people, some of whom are not habitual readers. I'm truly inspired by their examples, even if I'm not a fan of some of the books they've written.

How long did it take you to write your book(s)?
Daughter: Once upon a time there was a baby girl. Actually, I think it may have been a fetus. And the mommy of this fetus decided to write a crazy book about D&D characters. 20 1/2 years later this ex-fetus/baby girl[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]alien elf is still waiting to read the final draft. Maybe I should offer her two quarters.

Inflation has set in. I want at least a loonie.

Mom, I need a dollar so I can bribe you.

I'm broke right now. Go ask your dad. :)

If you have published a book, tell us about your publishing success (title, publishing date and company, where it is available to purchase).
No book of my own yet, but I do have a little story in Stories of Strength. If you don't have it yet, pick up a copy. You'll be glad you did.

If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be and why?
Queen Elizabeth I, but only if she did look like Cate Blanchett. :D

J.S. Bach, for a more serious answer. Someone who could write as much music as he did while raising twenty kids surely has something interesting to say on the subject of productivity.

What is your favorite food?
The kid gave it away up there. Also Black Forest Cake. The real stuff, with the Kirsch in the filling.


What is your favorite color?
Purple and green, and yes, I think I've told you I can't count.

What is your favorite place?
Algonquin Provincial Park. I try to get up there at least once a year, sometimes more.

What is your favorite memory?
I have lots of them. Most of them involve being with one or more of my alien elfs.

If you could have any talent in the world besides writing, what would it be?
I'd like to be a better musician than I am, but I don't want to have to practice to do it. :tongue

Then she could play something other than the viola.

I'd really like more artistic talent (talking here about visual art.) I'd like to be able to paint more than just blobs, and draw people that don't look like they used to be part of a tree somewhere.

Is there anything you’d like to tell us about yourself that might surprise people at AW?
I'm actually very good at math. And I'm a founding member of Smiley Addicts Anonymous. :D
 
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Eskimo1990

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Eskimo1990 interviews thethinker42

One your profile it said something about being a military wife. How is it being married to a military man? And do you get to see your husband everyday? Or do you only get to see him a couple of times a year?
It has its ups and downs. We're completely at the mercy of the military as far as where we live, when he works, etc., but really, I like this life. It has a lot of perks (wicked cheap travel, ability to live overseas, tuition assistance for both of us, free health insurance, etc), but it's got its drawbacks. He's been on 2 deployments since we've been married (6 mos and 8 mos in 6 years), plus numerous separations for school, things like that. It's not bad though; I'm fiercely independent and like to have some "me" time, so we manage fine.

What do you write?

Novels, occasional RARE short story. Mostly fantasy, but I seem to be on a romance kick lately. Also a little bit of SF, horror, and a vampire novel I swore I'd never write.

If money wasn't a problem where would you travel?
If I could only pick one place, probably Ireland. My family came to the States from Galway, so it would be interesting to visit.

Same concept, where would you live?
That's a tough one...off the top of my head I'd say Hawaii or Guam simply because I'm LOVING this island living thing. :D

What is your greatest accomplishment?

Finishing 3 first drafts in 6 months.

Love or money?
Love. Definitely. I married a sailor, so it wasn't about the money. LOL.

What is the hardest thing for you about writing?
Not writing when I want to write...and writing when I don't want to write.

What is one piece of advice that you would offer to my generation?
The 12 years after graduation go a hell of a lot faster than the 12 years before graduation: don't piss them away.

Who is your absolute favorite author and why?
It changes on a weekly basis, but today I'd say Stephen King. I'm not always fond of his stories per se, and some of his writing is "blah"...BUT...he pulls no punches and makes no apologies for what and how he writes. As a writer, I admire that.

What is your absolute favorite movie and why?
Oh man...*thinks* Probably "The Shawshank Redemption", closely followed by "Walk The Line", "The Usual Suspects", and "Debbie Does Dallas".

(kidding about the last one)


Where is your favorite place to visit and why?
Tough call...right now, I would say the shark/ray tank at the aquarium here in Okinawa. There's something incredibly peaceful and amazing about sitting beside this GIANT tank and watching whale sharks/manta rays. I know, kind of a cheesy "little" thing, but that thing is just so fucking cool. It's like crack, with fish in it.

As a child, what did you dream about becoming?

A writer. Hands down, no question.

What is your dream job?
Exactly what I'm doing now: Writing. I'm not getting paid yet, but I'm writing full time. The pay will come later when I get published, but for now, my "job" is to write.

What is your favorite computer game and why?
Age of Empires II, Conquerors Edition. I just love it: building up a civilization and pwning everyone else.

Who is your role model and why?

Not sure I have one, per se. I look up to a lot of different people...my folks, various writers, etc.

What is it like living in a foreign country?
Foreign. :D I've only been here a month, so I'm still getting the hang of it...it's definitely a switch. Driving on the other side of the road, not being able to read most signs, different customs, etc. But I like it. :D

Who is your favorite actor and why?
Colin Farrell or Jared Leto. Better yet, Colin Farrell AND Jared Leto. Preferably...nevermind.

They're both hot, but I do rather like them both AS ACTORS too. They've both played some incredible roles and played them well.

Who is your favorite actress and why?
Angelina Jolie or Natalie Dormer. Hot, amazing actresses, hot, etc.

Do you know any Japanese?
VERY little. I'm learning, though. Enough to keep from insulting someone, but....damn. I used to be tourist-fluent in Spanish and Russian, but fat lot of good that's doing me HERE.

Where is one place you've always wanted to visit but haven't?
Komodo. I want to go to Komodo and see Komodo dragons in the wild. Why? Because they're badass.

:D
 
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mscelina

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Fishing for Facts--A Conversation With Silver King

AW Day of Listening
Fishing for Facts: A Conversation with Silver King

By Celina Summers

Of all the many admirable people on AW, I don’t know why I ended up with a huge crush on Silver King—or Dino, as he’s known in real life. I mean, I’m not that big on fishing—I like them already dead, cooked, and garnished with capers and lemon on a nice porcelain plate. But there was something about Dino that spoke to me in a language I found impossible to ignore. I decided for the sake of my sanity, I needed to explore the reasons for that.

Once again, I started with the boring stuff. Straight up psychoanalysis: tell me about yourself. Silver King’s answer was straight and to the point: “Married with four children and three grandchildren, with another on the way. Forty-six years old. Two degrees (English and Education). Published in Field & Stream magazine.”

My first thought was Wow, he gets paid?

I already had a reason to be jealous.

Dino continued. “I married young, so my focus was centered on raising a family early on. I was a teacher for a couple of years at a junior college then had the opportunity to start a business. I've owned a company ever since.”

I wanted more information. “What was the one thing you swore you'd never do with your life?”

“Get married at a young age.”

“Did you end up doing it and why?”

“I fell in love, the head over heels type of love. I'm still crazy about my wife and I fall in love with her all over again on average of once or twice per year. It's happened about fifty times now!”

Well, damn. There goes my crush.

After I suffered through the disappointment, a thought occurred to me. How rare that was, how utterly amazing that a man who is only *mumble mumble* years older than I could be such a romantic and loyal sort of person! I mean, the divorce statistics for the generation that Silver King and I share are staggering. Once upon a time, I’d added to them. Dino hadn’t and was proud enough of that fact to share it with me. He had to be a pretty special sort of dude. I needed to learn more.

“What brought you to the path of the writer?”

“I don't consider myself a writer, but more of a literary hobbyist. Until about five years ago, I hadn't written anything except school papers and business letters.”

“Is writing a compulsion or a calculated plan?”

“A compulsion, for sure. I was curious to know if I could write well enough to be published in a top tier magazine.”

Up to this point, his answers had been honest but succinct. It was obvious that I needed to delve deeper, that somewhere there had to be a question that would tell me more about this enigmatic gentleman with an unfortunate fish fetish. “If you could go back to the age of twenty, what would you change now that would affect your situation today?” I looked back at the answers I’d gotten to this point and added, “Nothing is an acceptable answer.”

“I would've waited a few years to have children. By then, I already had two. I still managed to work and go to school full time, but it was very, very difficult.”

I thought about some of Silver King’s posts and remembered that, despite his assertions to the contrary, he was a great storyteller. So, handing him a cyber beer to lower his inhibitions, I ventured, “Tell me a story, one that shows how you handled a moment of great decision.”

He thought for a few minutes, killing off the beer much quicker than I thought a normal human being could, and then he spoke. “I was on a friend's boat in rough seas when the motor conked out. There were no life preservers on board. We were surrounded by an angry sea that tossed the vessel to and fro, the winds howling and salt water stinging our eyes. Unable to steer the boat into the waves, it was only a matter of time before we'd be swamped or the vessel would overturn. I told my friend that our only hope was to abandon ship. He looked at me as if I had gone mad.

“’I can't swim,’ he said. ‘You know that.’

“I emptied the contents of a large storage cooler and tied a dock line to each handle.

“’You won't have to,’ I said. ‘Give me your hand.’

“I lashed one of the lines to his wrist and the other to my own arm. We held the cooler before us and on the count of three we jumped into the roiling sea.

“The cooler was perfectly buoyant and held our upper bodies as we paddled with our legs. The wind was at our backs and we rode a following sea toward shore. Now and then, we'd turn to see the boat floundering and finally it was overcome by a mountain of waves and disappeared.

“It took four hours to reach land, during which I used every opportunity to give my friend a hard time for leaving his life jackets at home.

“He was quiet most of the way.

“’I said, ‘Was the boat insured?’

“He shook his head.

“’It wasn't?’

“’No, it wasn't. Are you happy now?’

“Yes, I was happy: Happy to be alive.”

You know, that’s a very revealing story for any person to tell. Here’s the rub: there are so many things about Dino I—and probably you—want to know. After the story he’d just told me, I wanted to delve into something more ethereal, more intimate. I could only hope he would trust me enough to share these things with me. I took a deep breath (scared right out of my wits) and asked, “What is the most perfect scene you've ever witnessed—a moment of such beauty and significance that it sticks in your mind constantly?”

I was expecting a comment about the sunset over the ocean, or the silent, silvery beauty of the sea under a full moon. But something in Dino changed at that moment. He was suddenly diffident, as if he felt that I would mock his response. His voice was quiet. Not his actual speaking voice, but the voice that whispers ‘I am a writer and this is what I think’ in the heads of only a very few special people.

“I walked into the room and saw her sitting with some friends. Someone motioned me to the table. She smiled and offered her hand. When I touched her, a shock burned through me, all heat and buzzing electricity that sent blood roiling through my senses like wild rapids cresting and falling and cresting again. I grew dizzy as my shoes seemed to melt into the floor. I sat next to her. She leaned in close, her lips almost touching my cheek, and whispered her name. I tasted her breath, hot and sweet. Then my chest expanded as she entered my soul, forever embossed upon the true essence of my being.

“Though many years have passed since then, I still feel the intensity of that first gaze, and how even when I look upon her now, there continues an upheaval of emotions that fuels a desire that can never be quenched.”

When Dino and I discussed this interview, he was worried about this specific statement, this declaration of the immediacy of love and desire that every mortal wants to experience and so few of us find. I am fortunate enough to understand what Dino was saying, because I am blessed enough to have experienced it myself. But for this man, a man who can feel so deeply and who can see so intuitively into his own psyche to make such a confession to me—the smartass on the other end of the line—was an honor that blew me right out of my chair.

No one could contrive such an emotional experience; one can either live it or envy it.

I choked up. I admit it. I couldn’t go back to smartalec after that.

“What do you think is the single most important gift a parent can give to a child?”

“Humility. Children need to learn modesty at a young age, to understand that, though their accomplishments are significant and should be rewarded, there's no need for them to boast or to ever think they're better than anyone else.”

“What is the most underrated human characteristic or, conversely, the most overrated?”

“In our society, one of the most underrated characteristics is greed. In many instances it's celebrated as the American Way, the idea that you should build personal wealth, and to hell with everyone else. The most overrated has to be physical beauty. Nothing means less than outer looks when inner splendor is lacking.”

I couldn’t doubt it any longer. I could learn a lot from Dino. I’d always known that in the back of my mind, but this conversation, this interchange of trust had confirmed it for me beyond question. So for my final inquiry, I asked him a question that I have often asked myself—and have not yet been able to answer.

“If you could wake up in one of your dreams and find that it was reality, what would you want that dream to be?”

“It would be nice to wake up twenty-five years ago and have a chance to reshape my life. I've made a number of poor decisions I'd like to have back. Though I don't dwell on the past too much, I'd love to have one or two ‘do-overs’ that continue to haunt me and will gnaw at my conscience for the rest of my days.”

How wonderful a feeling it was for me at that moment! I realized that he had answered my deepest and most difficult question for me. We know Dino as Silver King at Absolute Write. I now know Dino as something more.

I know him as my friend.
 

Yeshanu

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Yeshanu interviews scarletpeaches

Here's the dirt you've been waiting for, folks. :D

Tell us a bit about yourself. What would you like us to know about you?
Hmm...not sure there's anything basic that folks don't already know. I'm female. 32. I like writing and I like reading.

That's about it!


What are you doing now? (Career? Married? Single? Children? Pets?)
The last job I had was temporary and I'm currently, um...unemployed. Which I'm embarrassed to admit.

Not married although I would like to be. I've been single for most of my adult life (bar a few brief flings and affairs) and either I'm horrendously ugly, or very picky.

No children, don't want them. Ever. Never have, never will.

And pets? None. I had a hamster, but he died.. :( RIP Gort.

When did you first realize you had a talent for writing? When did you start to believe it could be a viable career option?
I'm not sure when I realised I had talent but I can tell you when I realised I didn't have it. After reading back my trunk novel. Unfortunately, I did this not before submitting it (oh the shame) but a few years later. It hit me like a ton of bricks that it was rubbish and no wonder it got laughed out of town.

I committed every sin in the book. Headjumping, telling-not-showing, dialogue tags and worst of all...my heroine? She looked in the mirror to describe herself.

Oh the humanity!

I've always enjoyed writing though. It's been both entertainment and escape. I suppose from a young age it was the only part of my life over which I had control, so I threw myself into it even more deeply.

As for it being a viable career option, see the 'favourite memory' question, below...(ignoring the bit about punching someone who deserved it).

What do you write? Novels? Short stories? Poetry? Non-Fiction? Which do you prefer and why?
I've never written a short story in my life. The stories I think of are far too big to be 'shorts'. Come to think of it, I never even considered anything else besides novels; they're my default setting.

I occasionally write poems - and poetinahat's been very complimentary about my Sapphic odes, which only encourages me to write more.

My poems are autobiographical in that I wax poetic about snapshots of my life - just brief moments, so I don't give too much away. (Which makes me question my own sanity, doing this interview...) It tickles me to think people could read my poetry and wonder if I'm talking about them. Maybe I are, maybe I ain't...

My novels are, however, completely made up. They may be inspired by true events, but by the time they're finished, they bear no resemblance to the events, conversations or people who inspired them.

What is your favorite genre to write in? To read in?
Ooh, favourites? Well, for writing...I fall most easily into women's fiction. Or chicklit? Hmm...erotica lately. YA urban fantasy? I honestly couldn't tell you. It depends on my mood, where I'm at in my life and what sort of idea presents itself.

When it comes to reading, I'm just as fickle. I read everything. There isn't a single genre I haven't read. Poems, sport, bios, history, westerns, war, romance, erotica, chicklit, YA, MG, children's...you name it, I read it.

How do you generate story ideas?
I wake up in the morning.

Srsly. (See? LOLCAT spk!!!) I find just living my life gives me ideas. Every conversation, every happening, every meeting, every incident, I'm constantly thinking, "How would I write about that? Could I fit that into my WIP? If I use it as a starting point, what genre would it be?"

I love words, and I'm always thinking of how to rephrase conversations and rewriting history.

Ever go back and have a better conversation with someone in your head? That's me.

Give us an example of a typical writing day.
I lie in 'til midday, get up and drink 5 mugs of tea and have some rice krispies. Then I have a bath and straighten my hair. Eat some sweets. Go out, do my volunteer work or visit my (step)dad. Loaf about at his place, help myself to whatever I find in his kitchen. Go to the library. Come home, chat to thethinker42 on MSN for hours, then cram 2,000 words into an hour or so, before going to bed. Rinse and repeat.

But on a good day?

I get up at 8am, bath, straighten hair, breakfast. See to my chores (or volunteering for a few hours), then when I get home I spend the afternoon/early evening writing.

Sometimes I take the morning to myself and go into town and write in a cafe or in the library.

I don't outline. I just open up the file, scroll to where I've written up to, and crack on with it.

Sometimes I find it hard to get in the zone but as I don't believe in writer's block, I put this down to tiredness, life stress or migraines to which I'm prone. When I plan to write, I just...write.

What are your strong qualities as a writer?
Apparently I'm funny. So I've been told. I write dialogue well, although as I'm allergic to dialogue tags I perhaps don't use them enough. (Thanks for the heads-up, thethinker42).

And I can write a lot in a short period of time. I respond well to deadlines.


Your weaknesses?
Finishing. I start projects and even though I can take a month to get so far into the novel I only need another 10k to finish, that final 10k takes me an age to write.

So you could say my biggest problem is self-discipline, which is strange given how regimented I am about everything else...


If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
Florence.

It's a beautiful city and if the reality is half as beautiful as the photos, I'd die happy.

If I was with a S/O, so much the better.

What inspires you to write and why?
I can't not.

Revenge.

Money.

Fame.

Groupies.

But the truth of it is - an absolute desperation for this not to be all there is to my life. I want more. More of what? I don't know. Just more.


What is your favorite book and why?
I Know This Much is True, by Wally Lamb.

I've never read a better book about mental illness and the search for one's roots. It really touched me on the sweet spot and I read it in floods of tears.

Bit of a Hollywood ending, I'll admit. Everything fit a tad too well. I like loose ends in a novel, to give it some veracity, but...well, Lamb gets away with it because he's such a damn good writer.

And as it was about the search for completeness, it was fitting that the end was so very, very complete.

It's one of the few books I've read which has made me think, "I wish I'd written that."


What is your favorite genre and why?
I'll read them all. I lean towards fiction, of course and I'd say my tendency recently is towards literary fiction, although genre is also my bag, man. Sorry. General answer there but my reading appetite is voracious. I'm an omnireader.

List your three favorite authors (any genre) and why?
Kazuo Ishiguro - his novels are terribly, terribly British, despite his Japanese origins. He's succinct, always to the point and he says in a few words what others take 100,000 to say.

Anita Shreve - I love the poignancy of her works. I'll always remember the refrain from Fortune's Rocks, which I read after the break up of my last relationship: "He was not hers. He was never hers."

Wally Lamb - anyone who can gender-bend in his writing that well is either psychic, TS or a miracle-worker.


What do you think makes a writer successful?
First of all, talent or a natural aptitude.

Then the absolute determination not to ever take no for an answer. An unshakeable belief that this is the work I was born to do. Talent isn't enough, though it's still important.

You need self-discipline - probably more than I currently have.

A thirst for self-improvement.

So...drive. Drive is the most important thing in my opinion.


What are your goals as a writer?
To be published, make lots of money and win plaudits and prizes.

I'd love, love, love to win the Booker purely for the prestige and bragging rights.

And...I'd like for Colin Farrell to read my novels and be so impressed by my talent that he just has to sleep with me.

Several times.

With chocolate sauce.

How long did it take you to write your book(s)?
I write fast, so if you put all my writing sessions together, a first draft takes me around two to three months, tops.

The last 10k or so takes up most of that time...I have performance anxiety... ;)



If you have published a book, tell us about your publishing success (title, publishing date and company, where it is available to purchase)
Not applicable...yet! :D

What would you do differently if you could repeat the same publishing experience?
Not that I'm published, but I'd try not to waste so much of my twenties on having a nervous breakdown, sleeping around and having mental problems.

I'd have spent more time writing and learning how to improve, rather than pissing my life away on lovers who weren't worth it and locking myself in my room cutting myself.

What have you learned about the publishing world?
That, um...it helps if you submit stuff.

And said 'stuff' ought to be readable...


If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be and why?
Anne Boleyn. I don't think she was the harpy she was made out to be, nor the whore.

Or...Richard III, so I could tell him I don't believe he did it.


What is your favorite food?
Chocolate.

Although I was rather fond of my gran's tatties 'n' mince when she was alive. (Well, people tend not to cook much when they're dead, duh...)

And rhubarb crumble. NOM NOM NOM!


What is your favorite color?
PURPLE!!! :D

What is your favorite place?
I love my bed.

What is your favorite memory?
Punching my mother in the face after taking 16 years of child abuse and telling her if she raised her hands to me again I'd kill her as she slept.

She believed I would, which was the main thing.

Ahem. But if you're looking for something less violent...

When I was seven, Mrs Perry read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to the class and I nagged and nagged for my own copy, but was refused. My mother liked saying 'no', because it made her feel important.

Anyway, my (step)dad suggested taking me to join the library and I was mystified. What is this library of which you speak? thunk I.

So, they took me there - they went into town once a fortnight to get the groceries in, and for some reason I had the day off school. A holiday, maybe. I tagged along and my mother whined and moaned about me being there, but my dad took me into the library and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

Bear in mind this is the central library in Birmingham (England) so it's not small...

And when my dad told me I could take any book home with me...three in fact...for over a month...free!!! I nearly died.

And after that...it slowly dawned on me...all those books in one place. Someone must write them, surely? And...when people buy books...they get money for them, right? So...the person who writes the books must get some money too?

If you could have any talent in the world besides writing, what would it be?
I would like the ability to seduce any man or woman I fancied. I haven't had nearly as much (sober) sex as I'd like.

Is there anything you’d like to tell us about yourself that might surprise people at AW?
Connected to my last answer in a way, I've been celibate for nearly five years. This has led, at times, to accusations of lesbianism, threats of rape, laughter, astonishment, disbelief and admiration. I'd rather have no sex than bad sex. And I'm praying the law of karma exists, 'cause I'm in for some good times soon, if it does.

I'm an all or nothing person, hence my decision. From one extreme to the other.


How has your experience of being abused informed your writing, or has it?
I'm not entirely sure it has. Unless it was a natural tendency that became an obsession when I needed something into which I could escape. Certainly reading was.

I suppose being abused taught me to depend on myself. This, in turn, made me something of a loner or at least one who can cope with being on her own. Not that I always enjoy it, mind...

And in turn this has made me lean towards more solitary pursuits. And I'm not just talking about self-abuse.

Writing...well, it's been the one constant in my life, so...I don't think abuse has influenced the content of my writing, just the fact that I write at all or so much and writing has definitely helped me cope with my background.


If you could change your actions at one single occasion in your life, what would you change and why?

Hmm...At first I took that to mean 'changing one thing about your past' but it reads differently now.

Of course I can't change my actions about anything because I didn't know then what I know now and I did the best I could with what I had. Still...

When I was seventeen I was at university studying physics, maths and biology. Hit the party scene, yadda yadda yadda. One night I got drunk, and a guy took advantage. I freaked out and ended up leaving the course a week or so later.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have stayed. Brazened it out, even. But I was a kid at the time and had been a virgin up to that point; couldn't handle all the crap that came with it, including him getting his friends to threaten me with 'more where that came from' if I told anyone.

If this is too much, let me know. But that's the one situation I would have changed. I'd have stayed at university and maybe my 20s would have been different; more structured, less drifting.

Or perhaps I would have changed courses. I always ended up studying the sciences while my true passion is the English language.

But I feel like my late teens/early twenties was a crossroads and that's the point where I would have taken a path different to the one I did.

I still would have ended up writing, though. Nothing would ever change that.

Thanks for doing this.
My pleasure. I think...

So my interview doesn't read in too pessimistic a manner, or like I'm saying "Woe is me, I had a bad childhood," I just thought of something...

I might have been through some dark moments but compared to my timeline as a whole they were only moments and I'm grateful for whatever it was that saved me. Whether it was God or my own inherent desire to live a better life, I don't know, but it was there and I'm still here. :)

 

Yeshanu

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Yeshanu interviews wrightmor

wrightmor is a relative newbie around these parts, with a whopping 28 posts to his credit. I first came across him in the NaNo forums, and was intrigued by this guy who seemed to fit in without having been here all that long. :)

I was also impressed by his slow but steady approach to writing, and I thought, "This is someone who I don't know that well, but would like to know better." Hence the interview.

So here goes:

Tell us a bit about yourself. What would you like us to know about you?

Raised in rural north Georgia (Lilburn).
Grad of Decatur High School (Decatur, Ga)
Finished BA at Southeastern Bible College (Birmingham, AL)
Spent about 10-13 years on South Texas border doing missionary work.
Pastored churches in GA & FL
Worked as electrician here in FL.
Then as Medicaid Eligibility Specialist.
Then as Probation Officer.

What are you doing now? (Career? Married? Single? Children? Pets?)

Retired in July. Signed up for substitute teaching, but so far not much is happening.
Married for 45 years (same beautiful woman), 3 grown children (baby is 32). Two pets- Lady (our laid back cat) and Julie (our hyper rat terrier).

When did you first realize you had a talent for writing? When did you start to believe it could be a viable career option?

I remember writing short stories when I was in 4th and 5th grades, just for fun, of course. When I was in high school I sent a letter to our church headquarters in Nashville and asked how I could submit some Christian writing I had been working on. He wrote me a nice letter, but it said I would have to take years of training, blah, blah, blah. I had mixed emotions. I was thrilled that he would take the time to read my letter and even more that a big important man like that would respond. (Somewhat akin to the way I take rejection letters now).

What do you write? Novels? Short stories? Poetry? Non-Fiction? Which do you prefer and why?

Right now, I am tackling nothing more looming than short stories and fillers. I am also trying my hand at Biblical devotionals.

What is your favorite genre to write in? To read in?

I like to read suspense, mystery and espionage.

How do you generate story ideas?

Years ago I read something about Right Brain, Left Brain (wish I could remember her name- it’s a classic with at least one sequel). Anyway, she suggested writing the word for your focus in the center of a piece of paper and then circling the word. Then draw sticks to smaller circles around the focus word with words that you associate with the focus word. The picture comes out looking like one big spider, but I have had some success finding a story in there.

Give us an example of a typical writing day.

I have made it an iron clad habit to go to the library from 10:30 to 12ish. I spend at least an hour of that time writing or editing what I wrote the day before. The first half hour is spent reading Writing Instruction or Inspiration books. Then I spend time at night (not so regimented) at home at my Dana, either journaling or polishing my work. I normally make a to do list for the next day so I won’t be looking for where to start.


What are your strong qualities as a writer?

I like to read. I like to analyze what I read.


Your weaknesses?

I like to read too much.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?

Northeast Tennessee. That location is our (wife and mine) ultimate destination.

We like that area of TN because of the beautiful view of the mountains. (I had mentioned my trips to see Uncle Bill when I was a kid. Even back then I dreamed of one day having a place in the mountains). Also, I just want to go someplace where there is a definite division in the seasons. Florida is not that place!

What inspires you to write and why?

Reading the jackets on the books written by favorites such as Dean Koontz, Tom Clancy, Michael Connelly, David Baldacci. Also any biographical or even interview material by these authors is of real interest to me. I think because so often, their normality impresses me. I reason they really aren’t that different from me.

What is your favorite book and why?

Probably Lord Jim. This is a book I was forced to read in High School and I fell in love with it. I had to write a paper instead of taking final exam and it was more a pleasure than a chore. I like all of Joe Conrad’s books.
He had a knack for painting the settings and moods that I haven’t found in any contemporary books.

What is your favorite genre and why?

I like suspense and mystery. I also like some borderline spook or science fiction. I guess the suspense/mystery is my favorite. I guess Agatha Christi introduced me into this genre years ago. I like the puzzle of trying to figure out who did it and why.

List your three favorite authors (any genre) and why?

Joseph Conrad- Moodiness, isolation, puts me there in the scene almost literally.
Dean Koontz- Realism, his books are so well researched.
Tom Clancy- A little heavier and at times hard to follow, but I like the way he continues the story of some of the main characters into the sequel novels.


What do you think makes a writer successful?

Practice, patience and perserverance.

What are your goals as a writer?

Bylines in some major magazines.
A few good novels, probably mystery
Some biblical articles of note.
Would like to have a fairly nice supplemental income
from my writing.

How long did it take you to write your book(s)?

N/A unfortunately.

If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be and why?

The patriarch Abraham. I would like to learn more about his lifestyle of faith so unswerving. I would like to hear it from him how he managed develop such insight.

What is your favorite food?

Almost anything Mexican.

What is your favorite color?

Red

What is your favorite place?

Blue Ridge Mountains

What is your favorite memory?

Visiting my great uncle Bill in the North Georgia Mountains during the summer. He was an rare individual and he loved entertaining us kids when we came visited. that’s been a lifetime back but is still vivid on my memory.

If you could have any talent in the world besides writing, what would it be?

I would like to play the flute (Native American Music)
 

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Yeshanu interviews Shady Lane

Sad but true admission here: I've been wasting time on these boards since Jenna had the server powered by hamsters. There are times when I've been absent, 'tis true, and at points for almost a year at a time. But I still post enough to maintain a posting average of 3.25 posts per day, and remember that Office Party doesn't count anymore. Heck, I pre-date Office Party itself!

And this November, whilst hanging out with the NaNo crowd, I met someone I've never seen around these parts before. Someone with twenty-four thousand posts, or six times my own post count!

I was flabbergasted. How could this happen, I asked myself. And who is this Shady character? Male or female? Teen or senior citizen? I honestly could not tell just by reading her (for Shady is indeed female) posts. And watching her NaNo count grow, I was even more amazed. My goal became to cross the ten thousand word mark before she finished her fifty thousand word goal for the month. We crossed those two wildly divergent word count goals on the same day, November 8th.

That's right. Shady Lane had written fifty thousand words in less than eight days! I simply had to interview her, and became even more sure of that when I read her profile. But enough of the intro. Here, for your reading pleasure, is my interview with Shady Lane:

My number one question since I met you (a little tongue-in-cheek, this one ;) ):

I've been a member of this board for going on four or five years now. Even since before the crash of '05. I've got over 4,000 posts, and posted in most of the forums on the board. And I'd never even noticed you were a member until we met up on the NaNo board, and you have SIX TIMES my post count! How'd you manage that??? (Told you it was silly... :) )


I've been a member here for almost two years now. I joined as soon as I found this place, and I've been really active ever since then. When I first joined, the YA sub-forum was really lackluster. I did most of my posting in novels, occasionally in Roundtable. I have a few posts in OP, but it's not really my thing...I always feel like it's all a big joke everyone gets but me, so I feel kind of stupid posting there, to be perfectly honest.

In Novels, a lot of people started asking me what the guidelines were for "Edgy YA"--since there were so many uninformed people saying stuff like "you can't have homosexuality in YA, you can't have sex, you can say fuck twice per book but no more"--uh, okay, I've got tons of sex scenes, my NaNo was about a boy/boy relationship, and my Simon Pulse book has the word fuck 87 times. So when I told people these things, they asked if I could create a comprehensive thread--that's how "Shady's Edgy YA" was born. It's a sticky in YA now. After that, Megan created the "Random Musings About Your Writing" thread which as over 100,000 posts now...and most of my posts are there. Really, it's our own mini office party.

I also have tons of posts on the thread Game: Your MC's Voice which started out as a multi-person thing involving tons of people having conversations in the voices of their main characters. About 400 pages ago, it diverged into this massive role play between Sage and me. It's incredibly geeky and somewhat embarrassing, but also SO fun. We've been doing that for almost a year.

So that's where the posts come from... :D

How long have you been writing? How and why did you start? Tell us a little about how your first published book came to be published.

How long have I been writing...the short, cliche answer is, 'forever.' I remember my first day of second grade at my new school, I was nervous and sat down and wrote a story instead of talking to the other kids. I've gotten far more social since then, haha...but the writing continued. In 5th grade, I started working on my first long thing...it was an adult book (imagine, a 10 year old trying to write an adult book) about a hospice nurse. At that same time, our school was reading The School Story by Andrew Clemens, a fantastic MG book about a middle schooler who publishes her book with her best friend playing her agent. My best friend (the same friend who's in the hospital now, actually) decided that we needed to try that; she would be my agent. Since I never actually finished the hospice nurse story, that didn't happen...but I think it planted the idea in my head. I don't know if I ever would have understood the publishing world so well without The School Story, and it remains one of my very favorite books.

So. I finished my first real manuscript when I was in 8th grade. I queried one publisher--Farrar, Strauss, and Giroux. Got a form 'no.' My query letter was two and a half pages long, full of newbie mistakes...it was awful. But I didn't get too down about it, because I was already working on a new manuscript at that point. I submitted this one to the Delacorte Press Contest for first young adult novel, of course didn't win. Next manuscript I submitted to a few independent publishers, got a few form rejects and one partial request. Nothing else. I started working on my next book. It was winter of freshman year.

At this point, I was fed up with the publishing industry. I know that's absolutely ridiculous--half a dozen no's and I was fed up? But I was fourteen. My friend--same friend who was going to be my agent--and I decided the way to do it was to print up the books, get them bound ourselves, and just stick them on the shelves at Borders and Barnes and Noble to see what happened. Totally crazy plan, but an accurate representation of our personalities. The plan never got off the ground, but we did create a Myspace page, where we got in touch with the owner of an independent bookstore here in Maryland. He was interesting in helping us and asked, at one point, to see my manuscript. The one I showed him was The Sublime, my most recent manuscript.

Sublime's not an even a novel; it's about 26,000 words. It was the first one I wrote over the course of only a week or two. It's a strange, almost existentialist little thing. I'm proud of it. He loved it and asked if he could show it to an independent publisher friend of his. I said sure, not expecting anything to come from it. A few months later, bam, contract for an e-book with a later paperback edition. Obviously not a big thing, but still very, very exciting. This was also the first time my parents found out I wrote, so they were pretty shocked...

I got a lot of local publicity for that, but only sold about 100 copies of the e-book. There was zero marketing done, so that's expected and it was still exciting. I'm still waiting on the paperback, and I'm not sure when that's going to happen. I was told September, then November...it's not really a concern, though. Bigger fish to fry.

So right after I got that contract, I found AW and realized I needed to be querying agents. So I started doing so around May of sophomore year. Junior year was agent year. I queried queried queried all through the year, got my first offer sometime in early February and three more offers later that same day. Phone conversations, deliberations, stress--this was during tech week of Guys and Dolls, so I was at school everyday until nine, not a lot of time for email and phone conferences--I chose Jenoyne Adams of Bliss Literary and couldn't be happier. She sold Break, which I wrote in a week during the fall of junior year, to Simon Pulse in July. My contract just arrived today, and the book's coming out August 25th, 2009. Right now we have a new book on sub to my editor there--These Humans All Suck, which I wrote during spring of sophomore year. It's both me and my agent's very favorite, so here's hoping...

Anyway, I guess that wasn't brief, but the real answer is that "my first novel" is a judgment call. I'm still a little lost as to how to refer to Sublime.

I have three other finished manuscripts polished and ready to go on sub. So we'll see what happens...

I notice you've applied for college. What program are you hoping to be in? Do you plan to make writing your life's work, or do you have some other career in mind?

Hokay so college. I applied Early Decision to Brown. I hear in six days. I am dying of anticipation.

I'm applying as a Literary Arts major--so yep, writing. I actually intended all through high school to be a biology major, and just recently changed my mind. I'm so glad I did, even though I had to rewrite a bunch of my college essays. Writing is what I want to do with my life, so why should I pretend it isn't? My goal right now is to never have a "real" job. I know that's silly, and I know a lot of people would say I'm robbing myself of experiences I could use for writing. Hey, there's always volunteer work if I'm hurting for inspiration. But I think I'll be okay.

If you could accomplish only one thing in your lifetime, what, at this point in time, would you want to accomplish?

If I could accomplish only one thing...that's hard. I'm going to have to say I would like to have a family. I would like very very much to have a family. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, and we're those naive high schoolers who think they can stay together forever. Honestly, though, he's everything I could ever want, and if we get through college (we applied to different places), I'm gonna marry that boy. Whenever either of us is sad, we just talk about our plans for the future to cheer us up. I stay at home with the kids and write books, he goes out and does...something. He's not sure yet. But we're sure of the books. And the kids. And the happy.

What is your favorite genre to write in? To read in?

YA contemporary and YA contemporary. I'll read the ocassional adult book, but I don't write them.

How do you generate story ideas?

Usually I think of one sort of plot 'element'--right now I'm fixated on writing from the POV of a kid whose dad just got sent to prison. I'm waiting until I think of another element--one that doesn't obviously fit with that one--and then I'll mush them together. That's what I typically do. My favorite ms (th eone on sub) was kid going to meet his older brother's birth family + immaculate conception.

Give us an example of a typical writing day.

I'm a TERRIBLE example, because I don't write every day at all, and when I do write, it's in front of the TV, lying on the couch...all the things you're not supposed to do. generally, I go on bursts--I'll write a novel in seven or eight days, edit it slowly afterwards. I'm not writing anything right now--haven't written since NaNo. This isn't a problem for me. I'm not a page-a-day kind of person. Different strokes, I suppose.

What are your strong qualities as a writer?

I'm a teenager who writes teenagers. That's an easy one. I have a good ear for dialogue. I think of strong plots. I don't typically get bogged down in middles.

Your weaknesses?

Unpredictability. I write several books a year, but I can't predict when I'm going to have these books written. Luckily I have three manuscripts polished and ready to go when my agent asks for them, but I can't promise when they'll be another one.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?

New York City. I haven't seen a Broadway show in months. This is a problem.

What inspires you to write and why?

Movies. Definitely movies. I get so inspired by movies. Break was inspired duely by Fight Club (more the movie than the book) and Into the Wild. You'd never know it from reading it, though...

I think because I respond well to things I can see. Nothing gets me like a camera shot of one character going through some sort of emotional change. You can write a whole book out of that change.

What is your favorite book and why?

Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving. Because it's amazing and painful and raw and beautiful.

Also up there--Indigo's Star by Hilary McKay and Sins of The Fathers by Chris Lynch. And The Stranger by Albert Camus. I have Adult, MG, YA, and...The Stranger represented there. :)

What is your favorite genre and why?

YA, definitely. I'm a young adult. I love to read about young adults. I think the authors are some of the most daring writing right now. And the people working in YA fiction are so amazing and inspiring.

List your three favorite authors (any genre) and why?

John Irving--he's a genius
John Green--consistently amazing
Ned Vizzini--inspiring inspiring inspiring

What do you think makes a writer successful?

Obviously it depends what you consider successful...but I think a knowledge of the business end is absolutely crucial. You need to know what your role is as a writer in the writer/agent/editor relationship. You need to know what you control and what you don't control.

And whatever stress is around, however you work, whatever your method is, you need to create a consistent product. You can surprise your readers, but you can't let them down.

What are your goals as a writer?

Right now I say that I hope to never have a real job. I want to be able to support myself and a family someday.

I want my picture in Entertainment Weekly.

That's it, really.

How long did it take you to write your book(s)?

First draft? A week or so. All the drafts? About a month or two.

Not including my novella out with a small publisher, my novel coming out this summer, and my novel currently on submission, I have three polished and ready to go. The order is strange--the order is strange...here, a handy list!

In order of completion:
Book A--out with a small press
Book B--waiting its turn
Book C--on submission
(Book D-- truuuunked! it's bad)
Book E--coming out this summer
Book F--waiting its turn
Book G--waiting its turn

So the book that's being marketed as my "first novel" is not really my first novel at all. And my second will have been written before the first.

If you have published a book, tell us about your publishing success (title, publishing date and company, where it is available to purchase).

The Sublime is out on e-book with Cantarabooks. Came out in September 2007. That's available at www.cantarabooks.com

Break is coming out with Simon Pulse on August 25th, 2009. It'll be on Amazon and in major book stores and such.

What would you do differently if you could repeat the same publishing experience?

Not sure I can say that publicly.

Let's just say I would have asked more questions...

But I have no real regrets. I love where I am, and I can't say if I would have gotten here if I'd done something differently. So we're good.

What have you learned about the publishing world?

What you do matters. People are watching. And no matter if you're fourteen or forty, you have to act like an adult. This is a business. Have to treat it as such. I didn't get that at first.

If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be and why?

Albert Camus...but sadly, I don't speak French.

We could talk existentialism. Not that it would really matter...

What is your favorite food?

Hmmmmm....I like lemon meringue pie, like, a LOT. And creme brulee. Desserts...

What is your favorite color?

Indigo

What is your favorite place?

Sevilla

What is your favorite memory?

Running around Bethany Beach with my best friends. My friends are my life.

If you could have any talent in the world besides writing, what would it be?

I wish I could play an instrument. I can pidgen-play piano, and I sing, but I can't play an instrument.

Is there anything you’d like to tell us about yourself that might surprise people at AW?

I really am normal. Really.

I act just like any other teenagers. And I hate when people insult teenagers and when I get offended say I'm an exception. No, I'm not. All teenagers are brilliant.

I'm just loud about it.

ETA: Hannah sings in ASL :D
 
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