Why I've not been around in a while

After my mom passed away, in August, her greedy son (yes, we're related, I've chosen to disown him as I believe my mom would do if she were still living) contested the trust. My dad pre-deceased her by 5 years, leaving us as co-trustees.

As some of you know, I was quite ill prior to my mom dying, to the point that I almost died. It was an allergic reaction to an antibiotic; nearly took me out. I flew out and saw my mom the day before she died, thankfully. What I didn't know was, that was the beginning of Chris' betrayal. He'd already forged several of my mom's checks and deposited them into his and my accounts. While I was at the mortuary, taking care of my mom's funeral arrangements, he and his wife were selling my mom's Mercedes, that he'd obtained using her hand to forge her signature. He pocketed the money.

His jealousy originated as a result of my mom leaving me the house even though she had left him plenty of $. He has a home, I rent a shack and my health isn't that great, either. Next, he froze the assets and refused to sign the house over to me. Then, after I left he stole some of the furniture left to me, and has it on consignment. Also, he accused my mom of misappropriating her own money, that she used to pay her and my dad's medical bills and demanded that he be reimbursed. On top of that, he demanded that I name him as my beneficiary. Not to mention, his wife took some of my mom's things, w/o asking and stole a piece of jewelry that belonged to my grandmother. She also told me to, "Have fun," when I was on my way to p/u my mom's ashes. These are only some of the highlights.

In between all of this, I had a TIA which triggered seizures and lost a ridiculous amount of weight. Too much, in fact. Size 6 jeans w/ a belt to hold 'em up. Oh well. Yes, I eat. Lots and lots of pasta.

Not much time to grieve for my mom, either w/ all the lawyer crap going on. I'm on my way out to CA the day after Christmas to clean out the house, to ready it for the market, again. It sold, once, until the idjut undermined it and it fell through. I'll be there for 3 weeks and am driving, again. I'll have the pups w/ me, my mom's girl and Kola. We're planning a fun trip for the way home. I haven't decided, but I may move out there, not that house, it's in an age restricted area.

Then, this last week, a family that we grew up w/, I've known them since I was 5, their son committed suicide. Turns out he was dying from some kind of cancer and didn't tell them. They're just finding this out. He was an incredible man, but it's incomprehensible that he didn't reach out. The rest of my heart is in pieces over this. He was like my little brother. After watching both my parents die from cancer, I get not wanting to die that way, I really do, but I don't understand not telling anyone that you're sick. I'll be seeing his brother while I'm in CA. His sister and parents are in NH, and they just told me, they were afraid that w/ all that was going on w/ me, I wouldn't have been able to handle it any sooner. They were probably correct. I nearly checked out a couple of months ago-signed everything over to my uncle so Chris wouldn't get his hands on it, that's how bad things were.

I lurked around here, a lot, but couldn't post. Couldn't verbalize a damn thing. So, now you know what's been going on. Yeah, I've been talking to someone and some friends. If not for that, I wouldn't be here.

I've barely been in touch w/ a few peeps, but I'm back, now. And, glad to be so

Thanks everyone for all your kind words of support and all the virtual hugs. It means an awful lot, especially w/ the difficulty it took in posting all this. It's been an enormous amount of 'stuff' to process in a relatively short period of time.

So many hours have been spent logging entries of events for my lawyer, paying my mom's bills and generally keeping track of the trust while attempting to keep my own life in order. By days end, I've been too tired to even read, until recently. I'm looking forward to getting back to my writing. It seems the only way that I can accomplish that is by longhand. My concentration is too shot for typing, if that makes sense.

I guess there's a recuperation that goes w/ all of this. Thanks, everyone for being there

Fraulein said:

Can you put a strong lock on your mom's house? Maybe even a security camera? I would hate to hear that your brother has taken something else...

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Her house is in a gated/security...haha community. I did have the locks changed and he broke in, anyway. He's a fireman and picked the locks, they did nothing, saying we're co-trustees and he had every right to do what he did.

I'm supposed to have the deed this coming week, my lawyer's writing a letter, in 2nd grade english, on my advice to the homeowner's association that if they allow him in, again I will sue them and he will be arrested by North County San Diego. Won't look good for his job. He'll also have to answer for everything else if that happens. He's been warned, through his lawyer to stay away from the house or other charges will be pressed, forgery, etc. I'm wiped out, but I will go after him full force for what he's done if he tries anything else.

He cleaned out the account that supported my mom's homeowner's fees, which I've had to pay. I got a message the other day from one of my mom's neighbors, "I'd like to speak to Butthead's sister." Made me laugh.

Chumplet said:

I'm so sorry you've been through such an awful time and I hope you feel better soon. Your brother is such a jerk and I'm sure he'll get his come uppance!

I witnessed much the same greed with my dear neighbour's passing. His daughter had to fight hard to keep her brother from claiming more than his due, when she and her husband were the ones taking care of Uncle Bob to the end.

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It's insane to have to fight hard, but it's the only thing to do. Thankfully, I've got a shark for a lawyer, who's working fast and not racking up crazy bills. It's my mom's wishes.