just for fun, imagine your general has to report to his superiors why he lost the battle. what nonsense might they make up? here're a few of mine:
'the sun was in our eyes'
'i said go left. simpson asked, 'left?' and i said, 'right.' well, *he* tells 'em to go right....'
'my guys ate some bad powdered eggs and had the runs'
'*i* was told the battle was on wednesday, *not* tuesday!'
'all things considering, i think we did pretty damn good. i don't remember seeing any of *your* assses out there! the truth? you can't handle the truth! this whole court is out of order! just when i thought i was out, you pull me back in! at-i-ca, at-i-ca!'
'bad karma, dude, plain as that'
'i know it sounds crazy, but i swear God was on their side'
'you know, maybe it's time to rethink this whole war thing, whaddaya say?'
'there was this cricket that kept my army up, like, all night long'
'we're at war?'
'i'd left my lucky underwear in the tent'
'i don't know who makes our weapons, but they suck!'
'i think the term 'counter-intelligence' says it all. think about it'
'they smelled us coming'
'who made the shielding for our ships? seran wrap?'
'that country has the worst acid rain you've ever seen. it ate through *everything*'
'second-hand smoke'
'second-hand smoke signals'
'we actually killed them to the man, but their *ghosts* came back. you ever try to kill a ghost? not that easy'
'just our dumb luck an earthquake hit just as we were charging'
'cleaning lady? she said she was a mystic sent, uh, by you guys. yeah, that's the ticket'
'our mascot died and everyone was bummed out'
'everyone's paychecks bounced and they were demoralized'
'the sun was in our eyes'
'i said go left. simpson asked, 'left?' and i said, 'right.' well, *he* tells 'em to go right....'
'my guys ate some bad powdered eggs and had the runs'
'*i* was told the battle was on wednesday, *not* tuesday!'
'all things considering, i think we did pretty damn good. i don't remember seeing any of *your* assses out there! the truth? you can't handle the truth! this whole court is out of order! just when i thought i was out, you pull me back in! at-i-ca, at-i-ca!'
'bad karma, dude, plain as that'
'i know it sounds crazy, but i swear God was on their side'
'you know, maybe it's time to rethink this whole war thing, whaddaya say?'
'there was this cricket that kept my army up, like, all night long'
'we're at war?'
'i'd left my lucky underwear in the tent'
'i don't know who makes our weapons, but they suck!'
'i think the term 'counter-intelligence' says it all. think about it'
'they smelled us coming'
'who made the shielding for our ships? seran wrap?'
'that country has the worst acid rain you've ever seen. it ate through *everything*'
'second-hand smoke'
'second-hand smoke signals'
'we actually killed them to the man, but their *ghosts* came back. you ever try to kill a ghost? not that easy'
'just our dumb luck an earthquake hit just as we were charging'
'cleaning lady? she said she was a mystic sent, uh, by you guys. yeah, that's the ticket'
'our mascot died and everyone was bummed out'
'everyone's paychecks bounced and they were demoralized'