Cracked's The 13 Most Baffling Book Titles

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sunna

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Scouts in Bondage... *slaps forehead*


Though I think my personal favorite is How to Avoid Huge Ships.
 

Phaeal

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I want to learn how to avoid the huge ships. Really. I mean, what if one of them ran aground and ground uphill all the way to my HOUSE?? Like, you know, in that movie The Day After Tomorrow, where the HUGE RUSSIAN FREIGHTER floated all the way to the door of the NY Public Library just to be handy when the library refugees needed antibiotics and a place in which to be attacked by starving zoo wolves??? Yeah.

Also, it's very important to know about bombproofing your horse what with the worldwide anti-equine jihaad.

Personally, I'm buying Celtic Sex Magic. And Boys Scouts in Bondage. Great titles!
 

Stew21

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I'm blocked from "Cracked" at work. Can someone snip and quote some of the list for me? please. :)
 

Mr Flibble

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Can someone snip and quote some of the list for me? please

Pornogami
The Cookie Sutra
Scouting for Boys
Scouts in bondage
How to Avoid Huge Ships
How to Read a Book
277 secrets your Snake Wants you to Know
Bombproof your horse
Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them
The Great Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories ( are teh horses lesbian? *boggle*)
Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power: How to Use the Other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts
Celtic Sex Magic, for couples groups and solitary practitioners
Cooking with Pooh
 

Soccer Mom

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I own one of the titles on the list. And no, it isn't the Pooh one. ;)
 

Puma

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I got one of them for my husband for Christmas a couple years ago (and he loves it). I'm pretty sure we have one of the other ones too (book junkies, can you tell?) Puma
 

CaroGirl

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You know, I was sort of with the premise as humor until they put Mortimer J. Adler's How to Read a Book on there. That's an excellent book. So then I just realized these guys were jerks.
They aren't making fun of the books, Mr. Serious Q. Ferret, they're making fun of the titles.
 

Soccer Mom

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:D I have the "Bombproof Your Horse" book. And it has some excellent advice in it.
 

Yeshanu

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Still, it's a much more sensible title (and topic) than this little gem I found the other day. Now there's a new idea. (NSFW)


You are far too young to be reading that book, young lady. :Lecture:

And I really am curious about Pornogami. I can actually understand why 7% of people stumble upon this on Amazon buy it.

I actually don't find many of the book titles "baffling," and I understood (from reading the subheading) what Bombproofing Your Horse was really about. But some of the premises for the books are absolutely hilarious.

And the comments beneath the book pics are priceless...
 

thethinker42

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:D I have the "Bombproof Your Horse" book. And it has some excellent advice in it.

And the author is evidently not familiar with what people mean when they say a horse is "bombproof". It's obviously not literal. I had a horse who was mostly bombproof, but I'm reasonably certain that an actual IED would have been a problem...
 

maxmordon

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Teh internetz! Dei iz purvurting me!

I want you to pray 365 Hail Maries... NOW!

22192607.jpg
 

jessicaorr

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You know, I was sort of with the premise as humor until they put Mortimer J. Adler's How to Read a Book on there. That's an excellent book. So then I just realized these guys were jerks.

I agree. "How to Read a Book" is great. If I ruled the world it would be required reading for every high school student.

Oh fear ye, the biblioholic dictator :D
 

Phantasmagoria

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OMG. "How to Avoid Huge Ships"?? *rolling with glee* But the best part is the "second edition" bit. What exactly did they update for the second? What crucial maneuver in this endless battle of seafaring Titanics was left out of the first tome? Perhaps a prologue: "You could just stay on land, preferably away from coastal regions... huge ships usually don't pose a problem there."

edit:... I just wrote and submitted a message that included the phrase "seafaring Titanics" didn't I? I blame lack of sleep. To be fair, I was thinking also of spacefaring ships at the time; huge ships in space might be a good deal harder to avoid.
 
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PattiTheWicked

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I love the cover art on the Celtic Sex Magic book. It's for solo artists, couples, and foursomes! I'm kind of wondering if Celtic Sex Magic includes a trip to the Dropkick Murphys concert.
 
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