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flyingtart
11-30-2008, 06:04 PM
What's the worst thing you can say on a blind date?


How about:

My first husband died of food poisoning.

scarletpeaches
11-30-2008, 06:06 PM
"Syphilitics need love too."

alleycat
11-30-2008, 06:14 PM
"My herpes outbreaks are mostly under control."

Woof
11-30-2008, 06:21 PM
"Don't worry about my cough, I just have a touch of Ebola."

alleycat
11-30-2008, 06:24 PM
"Wanna see the nude photos I took of my last girlfriend? I put them on my blog."

scarletpeaches
11-30-2008, 06:25 PM
"You look just like my inflatable girlfriend."

Woof
11-30-2008, 06:30 PM
"Has anybody ever told you that you bear a striking resemblance to a herring?"

thethinker42
11-30-2008, 06:32 PM
"You look JUST like my 15 year old daughter."

No, I'm NOT making that one up...and yes, it WAS followed by an invitation to "go someplace more private".

alleycat
11-30-2008, 06:37 PM
"I like an old-fashioned girl, one that likes to cook and do the laundry and doesn't talk during football games . . . "

thethinker42
11-30-2008, 06:40 PM
Other thoughts:

"So, can we wrap this up? I'm meeting someone else in a couple of hours, and I'd like to freshen up first."

*rude noise* "Oh. Pardon me. Dysentery. Happens once in a while."

"So, like, are you like Edward Cullen? Because really, he's the only one good enough for me."

willfulone
11-30-2008, 08:10 PM
My last (gf) was ssssssssoooooooo perfect, no one will ever measure that ideal...

Meeting you, I don't know why I even bother with this...

I have a stalker...

I AM a stalker...

I think all girls should know their place...

I am not just this pretty face ya know, I am sure I have SOME flaws....

I have a house, a boat, 3 cars, vacation property, money, anyone would be LUCKY to have ME....

I think thinking is overrated...

The last book I read was in grade school...

Let's cut to the chase and see if we are compatible - where's the nearest hotel...

I like you, but you are not someone I could love - let's call it a night...

I am looking for love and babies - NOW...

I could go on, but really - it pains me to remember those lines...

yeah, i heard them. blind dates? suck on many levels.

But, I have had some great ones that produced great friendships though.

Christine

mscelina
11-30-2008, 08:12 PM
"You know, a good plastic surgeon could remove that for you..."

flyingtart
11-30-2008, 08:17 PM
"As you can see I already have a wedding dress."

Williebee
11-30-2008, 08:32 PM
"These are my kids, Charlie and Lizzie. Oh, and that's the dog, Hannibal."

Nymtoc
11-30-2008, 09:28 PM
"You wouldn't believe what I looked like before the operation."

:Huh:

Woof
12-01-2008, 08:08 AM
"After dinner, what do you say about coming over to my place and letting me show you my collection of shrunken heads and other body parts?"

flyingtart
12-01-2008, 01:06 PM
"The clinic gave me ointment for it."

alleycat
12-01-2008, 02:57 PM
"Don't worry, I have a thing for women with big butts."

alleycat
12-01-2008, 04:31 PM
"Your little sister is awfully cute. Is she seeing anyone?"

Nymtoc
12-01-2008, 05:49 PM
"I get a tremendous thrill from reading certain authors--like, for example, de Sade."

Woof
12-01-2008, 05:57 PM
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you recently have a sex change?"

Deccydiva
12-01-2008, 06:02 PM
I can't sleep with you until I get the all-clear from the clinic but I can give you plenty of references to look at in the meantime...

alleycat
12-01-2008, 09:54 PM
"We're going Dutch, right? Let's see, dinner was $38.72 . . . parking was $4 . . . gas was about $1.68 . . . I had to had my suit pressed--that was $6.50 . . . the tip will come to about $3.00 . . . I only had one glass of wine, and you had two, so that's another $2.99 you owe me . . . "

alleycat
12-01-2008, 10:01 PM
"I still live with mom."

alleycat
12-01-2008, 10:02 PM
"Have you ever considered breast enlargement?"

willfulone
12-01-2008, 10:09 PM
Blind date being first one....so not cool:

Hey - look at that hottie (or a wolf whistle to indicate same), let me go get her number in case this does not work out...

I hope your not all sensitive and emotional like...

Do you really need that dessert?

I think smart gals are overrated....

I do this and this and this and this and my weekends are my own (whatever all those things are) and you will just have to live with it...

I just need a date for a formal party - how well do you "clean up"...?

alleycat
12-01-2008, 10:13 PM
"Hi, I'm Scott Peterson."

Alpha Echo
12-01-2008, 10:19 PM
Where do you want to go on our next date? My ankle bracelet will send an alarm to my parole officer if I leave the county...so....

flyingtart
12-01-2008, 10:19 PM
"Haven't I seen you on Most Wanted?"

alleycat
12-01-2008, 10:19 PM
"The aluminum foil hat is to keep aliens from reading my thoughts."

alleycat
12-01-2008, 10:20 PM
"Want to go home and watch the tape I made when I was on the Jerry Springer Show?"

Alpha Echo
12-01-2008, 10:24 PM
My biological clock is ticking. I swear it gets louder on every date.

alleycat
12-01-2008, 10:34 PM
"Wanna go to the Star Trek convention with me?"

talkwrite
12-01-2008, 11:39 PM
Oh I'm not interested in a relationship either right now, I just want to get laid.

Adam
12-01-2008, 11:49 PM
"You don't sweat much for a fat lass."

(Can't for the life of me remember which comedian said this... :( )

alleycat
12-02-2008, 02:44 AM
"Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest."

flyingtart
12-02-2008, 02:02 PM
I believe naturism should be practised at all times and places.

Woof
12-02-2008, 06:17 PM
"Gosh, you look so familiar. Didn't you play the lead role in Night Of The Living Dead"?

alleycat
12-02-2008, 06:43 PM
"My hobby is making my own beef jerky."

Alpha Echo
12-02-2008, 06:44 PM
I have 10 cats...and no litter box. I let them roam free.

alleycat
12-02-2008, 08:24 PM
"I was once in an episode of Cops. I was the guy they had to Tazer three times!"

dochas
12-03-2008, 12:50 AM
"This one time, in Band Camp..."

Shadow_Ferret
12-03-2008, 12:57 AM
Wanna see my comic book collection?

scarletpeaches
12-03-2008, 01:29 AM
"After dinner, what do you say about coming over to my place and letting me show you my collection of shrunken heads and other body parts?"

That's a winner for me!


"I get a tremendous thrill from reading certain authors--like, for example, de Sade."

That too...is that wrong?


"I still live with mom."

Um...yeah. That's a serial killer red flag.


"Have you ever considered breast enlargement?"

Especially bad if said to a man.


Oh I'm not interested in a relationship either right now, I just want to get laid.

Especially good if said to Colin Farrell.

I think the one which PWNs them all isn't spoken; it's an action.

Simply take out a tape measure...

flyingtart
12-03-2008, 02:55 PM
"How observant. They're not my dentures, I'm breaking them in for my horse."

alleycat
12-03-2008, 03:06 PM
"My mother buys all my clothes for me."

alleycat
12-04-2008, 03:02 AM
"I don't know what everyone thinks getting a college degree is so hard. I got my MBA over the Internet just by answering a few simple questions. It was a snap. Oh, did I mention I'm president of Bear Sterns."

Nymtoc
12-04-2008, 07:25 AM
"Are you an innie or an outie?"

briane1911a1
12-04-2008, 11:51 AM
May I turn your uterus into a lamp shade?

flyingtart
12-04-2008, 02:18 PM
"Wanna come back and meet my wife and kids?"

alleycat
12-04-2008, 02:47 PM
"I'm thinking of getting a tattoo of a moose on my chest."

alleycat
12-05-2008, 08:33 AM
"Are you really going to eat ALL of that?"

Nymtoc
12-05-2008, 09:10 AM
"I had a good job, but my boss was an a**hole, and the c**ks****r fired me for no f**king reason at all. I can't wait to get back at the sh*thead."
:ROFL:

Williebee
12-05-2008, 09:18 AM
"So, you got any cool scars?"

Williebee
12-05-2008, 09:18 AM
"Got any naked pictures of your ex?


Want some?"

LaurieD
12-05-2008, 09:46 AM
So, my last girlfriend, she dumped me, even after I took care of her and her kid. Not my kid, her kid with another guy. And so yeah, she left. And you don't like me either do you? I bet you don't even wanna kiss me, do you?

(somebody actually said this to me once)

LaurieD
12-05-2008, 09:48 AM
So, yeah, I thought going out with someone from work would be the easy way to go. I mean a great way to go. And there's Leslie, but she looks so... used? Ya know what I mean, so I thought, hey now, that one, right there, she looks pretty good, so that's why I asked you out tonight.

(Ahhhh! Another one I should have run away from)

threedogpeople
12-05-2008, 02:46 PM
Not a blind date but creepy nonetheless:

From a cab driver in New York City, "What would you do if someone tried to rape you?"

My brain, "HOLY CRAP! If I answer the wrong way this crazy a**h*** might really try to assault me."

My mouth, "Humm, I've never really thought about it but I think it would depend on the circumstances."

WHEW! Straddled the fence on that one and didn't get assaulted.

YIKES! I never took a cab from JFK again, I always used a car service.

johnnycannuk
12-06-2008, 07:04 PM
Not a blind date but creepy nonetheless:

From a cab driver in New York City, "What would you do if someone tried to rape you?"

My brain, "HOLY CRAP! If I answer the wrong way this crazy a**h*** might really try to assault me."

My mouth, "Humm, I've never really thought about it but I think it would depend on the circumstances."

WHEW! Straddled the fence on that one and didn't get assaulted.

YIKES! I never took a cab from JFK again, I always used a car service.

While that was an effective response, I think should there ever be a next time your answer should be either:

"Shoot them with my new nickel-plated Smith and Wesson, why do you ask?" without looking up from your purse.

or

"Have Uncle Antonio bury what's left of them next to Hoffa..." while staring them straight in the eye.

flyingtart
12-07-2008, 03:41 PM
"Have you ever considered a facelift?"

talkwrite
12-08-2008, 11:04 PM
I have mostly dated people in recovery....

Ulee_Lhea
12-10-2008, 02:56 PM
You turn on my inner child!

Don
12-10-2008, 04:54 PM
"Doesn't Anne Rice's 'Beauty' series make you want to live there?"

flyingtart
12-31-2008, 12:12 AM
"Haven't I seen you in a porn movie?"

sunandshadow
12-31-2008, 12:23 AM
Aren't you on a diet?

Nymtoc
12-31-2008, 05:38 AM
"I found this great medication for genital warts."

Melenka
12-31-2008, 07:01 AM
This is my dad. He comes on all my dates with me. Just ignore him.

flyingtart
12-31-2008, 01:30 PM
"Don't worry, the smell goes away in a minute."