Help! There's a squirrel in the basement!

Plot Device · Nov 17, 2008

What do I do?

I'm afraid to go and do the laundry! In fact, I was on my way to switch the loads just now when I saw him perching on top of the furnace. I screamed and he started scurrying around. (He's a BIG one too!) Now I just plain won't go NEAR the laundry. I backed out of the basement and locked the door.

I don't want to pay an exterminator. What do I do???? (My laundry will start to mildew soon.)

MoonWriter · Nov 17, 2008

An animal shelter may loan you a trap. Call around. And be sure to seal off his point of entry. Then you can release him outside or take him to a local park. Or, if you prefer, I have a great recipe for squirrel sauce piquant.

Pagey's_Girl · Nov 17, 2008

Squirrels are real nuisances sometimes. We've had them in the house more than once. Is there a window or outside door you can open in there to let him out? He'll be more afraid of you than you are of him, but you don't want him getting out into the rest of the house - they're awfully destructive. Barring that, could you call the police or animal control?

We always managed to shoo them out a door, although one left on his own through the hole he'd chewed in the screen - after stealing a bag of cookies off the table.

Plot Device · Nov 17, 2008

These are good ideas.

MoonWriter said:
An animal shelter may loan you a trap. Call around. And be sure to seal off his point of entry. Then you can release him outside or take him to a local park. Or, if you prefer, I have a great recipe for squirrel sauce piquant.

Pagey's_Girl said:
Squirrels are real nuisances sometimes. We've had them in the house more than once. Is there a window or outside door you can open in there to let him out? He'll be more afraid of you than you are of him, but you don't want him getting out into the rest of the house - they're awfully destructive. Barring that, could you call the police or animal control?

We always managed to shoo them out a door, although one left on his own through the hole he'd chewed in the screen - after stealing a bag of cookies off the table.

Meanwhile, I just left a voice mail with my uncle--he's a retired game warden so he's dealt with animals his whole life on a professional level.

He more typically always dealth with racoons, deer, bears, eagles, and foxes because those were species that were either endangerd, protected, or else which had specific hunting seasons. But regardless, he knows about ALL wildlife here in Massachusetts because that just plain was his job.

dpaterso · Nov 17, 2008

This one's the scout. The others are waiting outside.

-Derek

Kitty Pryde · Nov 17, 2008

Do you know how he got in? Can you leave a bagel right outside his point of ingress to lure him back out? Squirrels love bagels. So say I.

tjwriter · Nov 17, 2008

Stop it, D!

First, relax. It's just a squirrel. People feed them at the park all the time. It's highly unlikely that he would attack you, and you probably scared him just as much by screaming as he did by being there.

If you can manage to feel brave enough, go down there and open a window or door so he can leave. He will probably be grateful at the opportunity. Also, put your clothes in the dryer while you are there. It's likely he will hide while you are moving around down there.

Once the squirrel has exited the building, you'll need to figure out how he got in and block off that method of entry so that he can't come in again.

Old Hack · Nov 17, 2008

Warning: squirrels bite hard. Protect yourself.

My great big husband once told me there was a wild animal on top of our wardrobe that was at least two feet long (and remember here that we live in England, where wild animals are small things on the whole).

It was a squirrel. I caught it with a towel and got it downstairs and outside. During the catch I grabbed hold of its tail and the thing came off in my hand--I still remember the wet "plock" noise it made. Eugh. Don't do what I did: get someone to do it for you and protect yourself from bites and plocking tails.

Old Hack · Nov 17, 2008

(I meant, protect yourself if you try to catch it--it's not going to go for your jugular, and would probably scamper out of an open window very happily, given half a chance.)

FennelGiraffe · Nov 17, 2008

The guys who got the squirrels out of my attic used, IIRC, dried ears of corn smeared with peanut butter as bait.

robeiae · Nov 17, 2008

Call Mike Huckabee and break out the popcorn popper.

JoNightshade · Nov 17, 2008

Squirrels loooove dried corn. Leave a trail?

Clair Dickson · Nov 17, 2008

Squirrels are not carnivorous. They won't hurt you unless they see no other way out-- like the previous example where a captured squirrel bit Old Hack in an attempt to escape.

You have nothing to fear. You can go do your laundry. And open a door or window. You can take your broom and use it to encourage said squirrel on it's way out. But it has not diabolical intentions. It came seeking food and/ or warmth. Help it on it's way out and all will be fine.

Red-Green · Nov 17, 2008

Have you asked him to check over your query letter? *cough*

BenPanced · Nov 17, 2008

Dear Liza, dear Liza...

Soccer Mom · Nov 17, 2008

Kill the squirrel then, dear Georgie, ...*

*is a joke, I don't actually advocate murdering the fuzzy tailed rat

Pat~ · Nov 17, 2008

tjwriter said:
First, relax. It's just a squirrel. People feed them at the park all the time. It's highly unlikely that he would attack you, and you probably scared him just as much by screaming as he did by being there.

My grown son got charged by an attack bunny in the garage this morning. Just sayin'...

benbradley · Nov 17, 2008

I've used a trap like this:
http://www.havahart.com/advice/critter-library/squirrel-control
http://www.havahart.com/store/live-animal-traps/1088
I had a squirrel (maybe twice, I forget) come down the chimney of my house in Long Island. Got one of those from Home Depot. It took a few hours, or a day or so, but the trap caught it and I took it outside to release it. I never saw anything run so fast when I opened that thing up.

Joe270 · Nov 17, 2008

Plot, this one's pretty simple.

1.) Open door to basement.

2.) Pull pin on hand grenade.

3.) Toss hand grenade into basement.

4.) Close basement door.

5.) Run like the wind.

6.) Repeat as necessary.

Joe270 · Nov 17, 2008

It took a few hours, or a day or so, but the trap caught it and I took it outside to release it. I never saw anything run so fast when I opened that thing up.

Ben, what was running 'so fast'? You, or the squirrel?

L M Ashton · Nov 17, 2008

Squirrels here can be rabid, so... I just make a lot of noise until Fahim comes running and let him deal with 'em.

Del · Nov 17, 2008

Charge him rent.

Seriously though, squirrels can attack you and they hurt. We had a pet one that we had to let go because it got vicious. See if he answers to the name Moose-Moose. If he does...RUN.

Yeshanu · Nov 17, 2008

I have a cat I could loan you...

Williebee · Nov 17, 2008

The squirrel is ok. Just wait'll the moose shows up.

Yeshanu · Nov 17, 2008

Why I don't have squirrels in my basement:

Help! There's a squirrel in the basement!

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