What face do you present

Shadow_Ferret · Sep 25, 2008

When you're out in public?

I was out for my noontime walk, thinking on something ToT had said (and I hope she doesn't kill me for using it), which was:

TrainofThought said:
I always walk around like I'm pissed off or about to kick someone's ass. As crazy as it sounds, there are just some things you learn in a big city, and when I ride the EL, I never make eye contact. It's a sad world we live in, but using safety tips every day makes a difference.

My brother is like that. He always looks like he's going to kill someone if they ask him the wrong thing.

So on my walk I'm thinking, what sort of face do I present?

And I realized I'm the sort of person most people hate. I'm a smiler. I walk with a perpetual smirk on my face, as if I get a joke nobody else understands. And when I pass people on the street I smile and either nod or say "Hi."

I've been going for a walk for the last several months and there's this woman I pass as I go forth and then pass again as I go back (why do people say back and forth anyway? You can't go back until you've gone forth!) and when we first passed each other it used to be a small smile and a nod. Now, today for instance, she gives me this huge smile and a cheerful "HI!" as if we're old friends or something.

I guess I just like to bring smiles to people. Corny, yes, but as the day winds down and that person reflects on the shitass day they had, I want them to have a least one pleasant memory of it.

Me.

Sorry, I got a little narcissistic there.

So, what kind of face do you present in public?

Beach Bunny · Sep 25, 2008

It depends on where I am and what time of day it is. During the day and in my neighborhood, I smile and wave to my neighbors or people I see on the street. At night and somewhere other than my neighborhood, then I have "Don't mess with me" attitude.

But, I swear to freaking God, that I have "sap" stamped on my forehead whenever I go to the grocery store. If there is a homeless person there panhandling, then they ALWAYS hit me up for spare change. Always. Without fail. And yes, I give it to them.

TrainofThought · Sep 25, 2008

I usually wear the, "I'm going to kick Ferret's ass" face.

Kidding. If I see someone smile at me, I will smile back but for the most part I keep to myself. When I walk down the street, I don't look people in the face so I probably wouldn't even notice you smiling. I also don't look at people in elevators, shopping, etc. I'm usually in my own little world with my own little fantasies.

It's just the way I've adjusted to life. I think it has a lot to do with personality and environment. I went from being 'center of attention' when I was younger to 'anti-social.' :Shrug:

vixey · Sep 25, 2008

I live in a small city so smiling at people, or at least acknowledging their presence, is natural. Heck, I know most of the people in the downtown area where I live (we've lived here 20 years).

When I see someone like you describe, Ferret, I think 'wow, that person is content!' unless it's a silly grin, then I may cross over to the other side of the road.

As for ToT, sounds like she might be in C-land in IL which I've visited many times. My best friend from college lives there and she can sport that tough broad look, too. But I think of all the big cities I've been to it's one of the friendliest. Still, every time I've been on the EL it's packed and I usually have a suitcase on the way to O'Hare!

BB - I think women have to act tough in today's society. It's comforting to build trusts inside our neighborhoods.

Interesting thought, SF. It will make me consider who I put out in the world today.

Pagey's_Girl · Sep 25, 2008

I'm not sure - people I work with say I always look cheerful, though. I think it works against me sometimes, however. There's always some jerk (usually a gladhander in a suit with a cellphone glued to his ear) who thinks the "little girl at the desk" has teh hawtz for him because she acted mildly friendly.

CaroGirl · Sep 25, 2008

I'm naturally shy so I don't usually try to encourage strangers to talk to me. So I think I usually project a stay-away-from-me-I'm-too-busy-to-talk-to-you kind of air. And yet, I also frequently get asked for directions. I must also project an air of I-know-where-I'm-going, or even an I-know-where-you're-going face.

Alpha Echo · Sep 25, 2008

I think it depends. Lately, my life's been...well, it feels like we're being pummeled from every direction. Usually, people think I'm cheerful and bubbly. In fact during my midterm review at work each year, my boss tells me that's something she loves about me. But lately I've received comments like "Alpha, we miss your smile. You need to smile again."

*shrugs*

I'm trying.

TerzaRima · Sep 25, 2008

I must wear a helpful face, or at least one that looks unintimidating. People tend to mistake me for a saleswoman in stores and they ask me how equipment works at the gym.

TrainofThought · Sep 25, 2008

CaroGirl said:
And yet, I also frequently get asked for directions. I must also project an air of I-know-where-I'm-going, or even an I-know-where-you're-going face.

LOL! When I used to smoke, it never failed someone asking me for directions.

And when I was in London, people would stop me on the sidewalk, or by the Tube/Underground and ask for directions.

Darzian · Sep 25, 2008

According to my sister, no human would talk to me on the road.

According to my sister, every animal would flee if they saw my face.

According to my sister, my friends would fear being murdered if they saw me.

My sister's name is Bellatrix Lestrange.

Shadow_Ferret · Sep 25, 2008

CaroGirl said:
I'm naturally shy so I don't usually try to encourage strangers to talk to me.

This is interesting. Because I'm really introverted, almost clinically bashful, and I'd have a heart attack, for instance, if that woman ever decided to stop and have a conversation with me.

Smilings all you get!

mscelina · Sep 25, 2008

Whether for good or for ill, I present the same face I always have. (I really try to leave it at home but it just.won't.stay.away!) For the most part, it's a thoughtful face because I'm always thinking about something other than what I'm doing. But is it an approachable face? Nope. Not in the slightest. I don't want to be approached by people I don't know and do my darnedest to make sure I'm not.

Ken · Sep 25, 2008

people in my nabe treat you like royalty if you dress well and are neatly groomed. So I always make a point of doing that, though if I had my way I'd go about unkempt like a savage with a pet crow perched on my shoulder.

SPMiller · Sep 25, 2008

I didn't think about this much until a few years ago, when a friend commented on the way I present myself. Since then I've grilled other friends on the matter. From that, I've determined that I apparently am quite the opposite of the happy-go-lucky smiler type that Ferret claims to be

Sarita · Sep 25, 2008

I smile at most people I pass, I talk to strangers, I'm silly, and dance to whatever's going on iPod in the grocery store, on the street, where ever.

In short, I'm a goofball.

quickWit · Sep 25, 2008

I'm the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet.

What?

TrainofThought · Sep 25, 2008

quickWit said:
I'm the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet.

In hell?

quickWit · Sep 25, 2008

TrainofThought said:
In hell?

or at the mall.

vixey · Sep 25, 2008

quickWit said:
or at the mall.

same difference in some places.

sunna · Sep 25, 2008

I've been told the face I generally give to the world is a preoccupied one, as though I'm on some vital errand I'm not sure how to accomplish. Since I'm generally thinking of finishing some book or other, I suppose that's not much of a surprise.

I like to talk to strangers, provided they don't give me the creeps, and I like to stop and inspect anything that grabs my attention. I avoid strange babies except for making faces at them from a safe distance, but I'll often get on all fours and risk a bite to say hi to a dog.

Conversely, I will risk snapping one of my own side-view mirrors off if I think you're going to try to cut in front of me on the road, and even I am aware of the scowl on my face when I'm behind the wheel. All my manners go flying out the window then, for some reason.

JustJess · Sep 25, 2008

My sister and I have had this conversation before. She never smiles and seems to have "bitch" stamped across her forehead. Men are nice to her-women, not so much.

I am the opposite. I have an easy smile and a nervous laugh. I always seem to attract the elderly as in, "Sweetie can you reach that for me?" Sure I'm a whopping one inch taller than you-no prob. Or the mentally handicapped as in man approaches me with one hand down his pants the other carrying a book, following me aisle to aisle asking, "Do you like dinosaurs?" And then there are just flat-out creepy people. Like the guy I spoke to for 5 minutes in high school before he slammed me against the cafeteria wall-now I run into him at least once a month and the one-sided conversations are growing more disturbing. THe last one ended with him clapping infront of my face, me jumping back and him repeating "You know I'd never hurt you Jess, right? Right?"...Ok.

So I guess I'm "approachable". I am only shy when it comes to having to converse with men between the ages of 20-35ish. I talk too fast and can't make eye contact.

WerenCole · Sep 25, 2008

I believe the face I present is what you might call "business casual." I am a man about my business, but not too stern that you think I might actually hurt you. It kind of matches my normal attire too.

It helps living in Boston, away from the small city I had been living in. I actually get to ignore people and they ignore me. Awesome. Before I would just have to pretend I didn't notice the other person to free myself from the damn hassle.

Also: Yeah, that who "people asking you for directions when you smoke" thing. . . I get that too.

III · Sep 25, 2008

I'm too busy sucking in my gut to worry about any other social cues I'm giving off.

quickWit · Sep 25, 2008

III said:
I'm too busy sucking to worry about any other social cues I'm giving off.

Way to be.

Shadow_Ferret · Sep 25, 2008

III said:
I'm too busy sucking in my gut to worry about any other social cues I'm giving off.

"Who's the guy with the blue face?"

"I don't know, but he's buff."

What face do you present

Court Jester

The Provocative One

A flowering bud of bitchiness

C'est la vie!

Still plays with dolls

Living the dream

I should be writing.

Absinthe O'Malice

A flowering bud of bitchiness

To-to-to-ron-to

Court Jester

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

Prodigiously Hanged

carpe noctem

Totally Ninja!

A flowering bud of bitchiness

Totally Ninja!

C'est la vie!

Funny what? Do I amuse you?

rockin the suburbs

Totally Ninja!

Court Jester