Stressed out!

((((((HUGS & PRAYERS))))))) sent your way Project. Wish I had more advice for you, but know you're among friends.

How are you spending--do you have a debit/credit card? Sometimes it's easy to lose track of how much money you're spending if all you need to do is swipe a card.

You'll be more aware of how you spend and what you give away if you switch your spending to cash. As soon as you get your paycheck, get yourself to a bank and deposit it. Deposit the majority, but get yourself some cash back. This is your budget until you get your next paycheck. (Say your paycheck is $50--deposit $30 or $35 and leave yourself with $15 or $20 in cash.)

Sit down and figure out where your money is going. Eating out is really expensive, especially if you're getting food elsewhere (living at home). Pack lunches, snacks, whatever you need, but stop eating out.

How many DVDs/cards do you buy? Five DVDs and 10 card packs? Limit yourself--one DVD and two packs. Whatever you need to do, but be reasonable. Ask every time: Do I really need this? Can I find it cheaper somewhere else?

Project nachonaco said:

I don't get paid much (only 6.55/hr) and I spend far too much.

My bank account went from $900 to $101 in about a month.

I spent it on mostly crap (well, food and stuff too)... (I hate to say it but sometimes we create our own fate)

Right now I don't have expenses like gas and stuff, but I do buy food/DVDs/Magic: The Gathering cards....

How do I get myself to stop? You just have to don't do it. If you keep doing it then you suffer from stuff like this.

I'm so mad and scared at myself that I'm almost crying right now. I feel HORRIBLE and I want it to stop and I want my bosses to give me more than 12 hours a week! THAT'S ONLY A FIFTY DOLLAR PAYCHECK!

A hug for you.

What if I were raising a family?!

You'd be screwed.

What am I gonna do whenever I get my car?!

Grow up before you get a car, Sweets.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT think of this as a blog post! I know I sound frantic right now but I really can't help it. I'm honestly scared and I don't know why I spend so much and I feel really bad about it and my parents make me feel worse about it.

WHAT DO I DO?!

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Suffer the consequences of being immature with your money and be more mature about your spending next time.

This doesn't mean I think less of you. I'm just spanking you. You'll get past this and hopefully learn from your mistakes.

Still love you, dork.

What they said. Don't carry your debit card or a credit card or a checkbook. Just carry a smallish amount of cash. Stay out of the places that have the stuff that tempts you. There is a reason I don't go to bookstores. Once you train yourself to think three times about every purchase, it becomes easier to not buy the things you shouldn't.

MM

The thing to realize is there's naught anyone can do for you--this is your problem and yours alone. Through discipline and self-bettering it can change, but chances are that the road to the fix alone will be quite stressful.

I can't comment too heavily on your job, but if you want better money and hours--and your current boss absolutely will not give it to you--seek something different and be open to learning. My boss just called back recently and offered me a raise, choice of days and choice of shift to come back--all because I learned every aspect of my job and took pride in every moment of it. If you want to prove you deserve more hours and a raise, put pride into everything you do. My father once told me that to do a good job is good and fine, but to do a great job takes but several more minutes. If great work doesn't advance you or you're already doing your best and are underpaid, look elsewhere for work--and most of all, don't fear learning something new.

As far as your splurges go, it's something you've simply got to learn to control. Don't deprive yourself of enjoyment--treat yourself to something nice once or twice a week depending upon how expensive it is. Overspending is stressing you out to the point where you know it's a problem, and you clearly don't like the feeling it rewards you with. Take heart in this, steel yourself and make a change--not tomorrow, but today...right now. Through discipline and understanding, great things can come to you...and the greatest of all is stress-free day.

Keep in mind that we all have problems, and whether or not we like it...they will be there until solved entirely. Understand them, find a way to control them and in the meantime do not let them destroy you. Put your fears and stress away and take heart in knowing that you're striving to make a change for the better. Overspending is a bad problem, but be thankful that it is something that you yourself can change...many worse problems could be had.

Begin anew--confront your problem--and find the means, fast or slow, to fix it. Look carefully at everything you do before it happens, and sooner than later you will find yourself putting down things you do not need and striding towards a better self. All I can give you for the journey is luck.

~X.

Project nachonaco said:

WHAT DO I DO?!

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Stop spending money foolishly and focus upon expenditures you need to make to survive. Then set a little aside every chance you get, even if it's just a dollar or two each week.

That requires discipline, which many of us lack because we spend every penny we make no matter what.

Put your 20% of your pay into a savings account before you even touch it, then forget about it.

And don't buy crap already.

Get rid of your credit card/debit card. If you don't have the cash for it, don't buy it.

And don't buy crap already.

I don't get paid much (only 6.55/hr) and I spend far too much.

I make triple what you make, and I dont spend on the little luxuries that I'd like to.

My bank account went from $900 to $101 in about a month.

My bank account goes from 1400 to 0 in about 5 days twice a month.

I spent it on mostly crap (well, food and stuff too)...

I have a car and a place to live, and food in my fridge, and well, thats about it.

Right now I don't have expenses like gas and stuff, but I do buy food/DVDs/Magic: The Gathering cards....

Thank the Heavens above for that.
You could have it MUCH MUCH WORSE.

How do I get myself to stop?

Um...well, for starters, start a family, get into debt, pay electric and gas bills and cell phone bills and land line for wireless bills and gas for your car that you'll owe monthly on, and groceries, no more fast food, you're eating hotdogs and eggs now.

How does that answer the "how do I stop" question you ask? Well you wont shop till you drop any more, thats for sure. No more Magic, no more dvd's you'll have to look into Netflix, much cheaper...and well, yea that's about it.

What if I were raising a family?!

read above rant. I got more where that came from. Daycare, medical insurance, car insurance that in some places is mando, cable, school uniforms, and not to mention the price of beer these days.

What am I gonna do whenever I get my car?!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT think of this as a blog post! I know I sound frantic right now but I really can't help it. I'm honestly scared and I don't know why I spend so much and I feel really bad about it and my parents make me feel worse about it.

You better figure it out, cause um, honey, it only gets harder.

Budget. Budget. Budget.

Bank 20% percent of your pay, so take that right off the top. Sit down and list all of your monthly bills. Subtract that from what remains of your pay after that 20% is taken out. Then you write out what you need to spend on food, clothes, bus/train/cab fare if you use public transportation to get back and forth to work - the necessities (And only the necessities).

Whatever's left over is yours. If you don't have the money for something, you don't buy it. Take any and all credit cards out of your wallet and tuck them away somewhere. Same with the debit card. It'll suck at first, but it will get easier. Trust me - nip it now before it gets waaaaay out of control. Good luck and hugs...

First of all stop beating yourself up about how much money you've spent this month. You've still got $100 and you don't have to worry about paying the electric bill or putting food on the table. So take a deep breath. There is no need to panic.

You've already been given some great suggestions on how to manage your income. What it boils down to is figure out your budget and put your savings away first before you buy your indulgences.

You are in an enviable position right now. You still have a roof over your head and parents to support you while you learn how to budget and handle your money. And you are still young enough to quickly and easily develop good financial habits that will serve you for the rest of your life. It totally sucks to try to do this in your thirties or forties or even older than that.

And you've already won half the battle. You know you have a problem with spending too much money and you've asked for help. You can do it.

Don't let you talk yourself out of your budget. It's real easy to ignore a budget when the [insert short term gain] is talking very loudly. Think long term. Set up some sort of system to accomplish a long term goal. What are you saving for-- what would you like to save for. Would like to purchase a nice car? Save up, a little at a time. IF you can learn that skill, you will be in SO much better shape than the average person. (For example, my downpayment could have bought half of my oldest Bother's first home.)

Sure, the now is fun and exciting, but what are you sacrficing? It can be fun to watch the bank account grow to ginormous proportions!

Set limits, think long term, and set goals that you are willing to follow. Look at it as GREAT thing to have this money saved (as opposed to how sucky it is you don't have any money because it's save/ spent.)

And think about what MTG cards you actually want... can you buy just those from ebay or something rather than sifting through too many packs in the HOPES of getting one? (This from a reformed Pokemon TCG junkie. I still buy some packs because they're fun to open, but not nearly as many as I once did. If there's a card I want, I see if I can buy it on ebay. Saves much money.)

Good luck. We're rooting you on. =)

Project, if you think your problem may be more than just spending too much, take a look at any community center or social services for free counseling services.

Plus, check out financial counselors. Some may offer free counseling services.

For what do you need the money?

The first step to becoming fiscally responsible is to decide what it is you really want to do with your money. Sit down and write yourself some goals, not just about what you want from your money, but also what you want from your life.

Money is your servant, and it's to be used to get the things you want and need out of life, but if you don't know what those things are, you'll be left at the mercy of your whims. It's much easier to resist that package of cards or that fast-food dinner if you remember that you've got another purpose for that money.

Don't deny yourself all of the pleasures in life, though. Decide which pleasures are truly worth the money, and which ones are simply spur-of-the-moment decisions that will bring you no long-term joy. Then stick with the purchases that will bring you joy past the initial buzz of buying.

I don't know how old you are, but if you're still in school full-time, 12 hours per week is about the limit, if you want to get good marks. And it's here where the long-term goals will help you most. If your long-term goal is to graduate with good marks, and get a better paying job because of it, you'll feel better about working less for money and more for education, and you'll be less likely to waste the money you do get.

Good luck, and know that in this, you're not alone.

ETA: Just looked up your profile and saw you're nineteen. The school advice stands if you're in school right now. If you've graduated from high school, but aren't looking at college, I'd suggest looking for a better-paying full-time job instead of begging your boss at the low-life job for more hours. And if you are out of school, you can and should start contributing to the family coffers, even if it's not much at first. You're an adult, and it's time to begin to take on the responsibilities of an adult.

Xyrventalagn said:

The thing to realize is there's naught anyone can do for you--this is your problem and yours alone. Through discipline and self-bettering it can change, but chances are that the road to the fix alone will be quite stressful.

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The bearer of bad news is usually the wisest.

@ Nacho
Why would you buy cards and DVDS with your meagre salary? "You want it to stop", then you must change your way of life.

Project nachonaco said:

UPDATE!

I got my online banking fixed and now am CRAZY about checking it. I check it around 10-15 times a day.

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Going from not enough to too much...

In this case, you'll get over the newness eventually. But it's not a bad thing, at first. I really like being able to check my bank account online because I can tell exactly where my money's going, and I don't have to write down my purchases in a notebook or keep track of receipts in order to track spending.

And I have a no-fee account, so I almost never use cash, therefore I almost always have a record of my spending.

Which means I know for certain that I spend too much eating out.

Checking your balances does not always help the matter. It IS a good tool. BUT, it also reminds you how much you have left to - well, spend. Which may get you out spending...not good. See how it works for you, if it is helpful great. If you find that it prompts you to purchase more at store for you know you have more money - then stop checking so frequently during the day and cut that to once a week or something.

If you are really set on curbing or stopping foolish spending you need to really find out where your money is going. A financial planner would help you set a budget. In order to do so they would require you provide some information to them. Typically they would like 30 days worth of household spending in a diary log. Then they would review with client and offer tips on where to budget and such. This same can work for you on a smaller scale since you are single and living at home yet. So, start with such.

The only real way to do this is to log every single thing you spend on for a week.

Keep a small notebook/pen handy at all times. Every single penny you spend write down. Even if it is a trip to a soda machine on break. EVERY SINGLE PENNY - cash, check, debit.

At the end of the week - sit down and look at how you spent your money.

THIS WILL ONLY WORK IF YOU SPEND LIKE YOU NORMALLY WOULD - (it will not help you if you are sparing in spending the week you do this - for you give false info to set up a budget with).

At the end of the week, you will tally how much you spent. With that information you will try to set up a budget that allows:

Savings IN ANOTHER ACCOUNT THAT HAS NO DEBIT CARD ATTACHED
Necessities
Treats (clothes, cards, mickey d's, etc.)

The first thing to do with each check is deposit to your savings what you determine you can afford. A good place to start is 15%. Never touch it. Consider it an emergency fund. Let it grow and forget about it. Keep it for the time you wish to purchase your car, a bed for your new place, a security deposit, school books, etc.

Set up a Xmas club at your bank where a certain amount is put there each paycheck so that when holidays get here - you will have some funds to buy gifts without worrying.

The rest? Is yours to spend. It is likely that half your checks will be toward savings/xmas savings and the rest is for you. At least while you live at home and your job is so few hours/pay.

Once you have a better paying job/more hours, your savings and such will grow in accord so that you will be able to have freedom without worry of financial strain later on when you move out of the parents house. Or start saving with that goal in mind.

Can you tell? I was an accountant for 14 years?

Good luck.

If you need help, PM me and I will consult with you on a financial plan that fits your goals, needs.

Christine