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SouthernFriedJulie
09-21-2008, 06:46 AM
I wanted to blow some steam off about something I witnessed today. Mods, if this is too touchy for here, can you move it?

My husband and I have been working on things for the past few days. I had posted about an issue I was having with our relationship and have been following advice on how to cope from those of you who responded. By the way- Thank you. It's been a lot better.

Anyway, we took our kids for a walk to McDonald's and then to the local plaza to look for some toys. We were having a really nice time when we began to hear a lot of yelling. Walking towards us was a group of people, 4, with a stroller. One of the women was yelling at father, mother, and their 2 children who were walking across the parking lot.

The other family's crime? Looking in the direction of the yelling. The woman was yelling.."What are you lookin' at? Never seen a black b* before?" To which the father just said..."Look, I'm just trying to take my kids to McDonald's."

It went on and on, but the gist of this is that the woman seemed to want to make an issue over her skin, not the fact that she was behaving like a moron. Screaming and cursing in a place where families spend time, then being angry because someone looked? As I told my husband, it wasn't that no one had ever seen a black woman before, it was that no one really expected anyone to be such a moron there, regardless of their race.

I respect or ignore people based on their actions, not their race. Yelling and acting like a 2 year old having a meltdown isn't going to get you far in life, no matter what.

Devil Ledbetter
09-21-2008, 07:26 AM
The neat thing about assholes is they come in every color of the rainbow.

SouthernFriedJulie
09-21-2008, 07:36 AM
The neat thing about assholes is they come in every color of the rainbow.

A rainbow of assholes. Never thought of it that way.

xiaotien
09-21-2008, 08:32 AM
yeah, she sound like a nutter.

so let's make that crazy asshole.

regdog
09-21-2008, 03:24 PM
I agree with xiaotien. She might not have been all there in the head. I was taking the subway into Boston one day and a black woman who looked to say unkempt would be polite kept trying to touch a black couples baby and they kept moving the baby away. And the first woman was screaming and swearing at the couple for not wanting another black person touching their baby.

tjwriter
09-21-2008, 05:35 PM
I worked in a restaurant, and you wouldn't believe the number of times something like this would happen. We were always doing something because of someone's skin color. Working third shift, I could get away with telling people it had nothing to do with skin color and everything to do with acting like a jerk.

Most often they wouldn't know how to respond to that. I don't think they had a lot of people calling them out on that behavior.

kct webber
09-21-2008, 06:20 PM
What are you all looking at!

willfulone
09-21-2008, 07:00 PM
Sometimes, once a person's anger is escalated, they unleash it at everyone/anyone around. Maybe the person she really wanted to yell at has learned to ignore her. Thus, she moved on to someone who could not. I hate to see this, especially around children who have to witness this.

Donkey
09-21-2008, 07:09 PM
I've had my own problems with racial tensions.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u92/donkeyrokman/Donkey-2.jpg

Yeshanu
09-21-2008, 07:17 PM
In downtown Toronto it's becoming almost common to hear people screaming at no-one in particular.

There are a couple of possible reasons, but mental illness tops the list. Ignoring it is the best way to deal with it--if you try to reply or explain, the person will only yell louder. If I were with kids, I'd explain (later) that some people are mentally ill and can't handle anger, or they've never been taught properly to handle anger, and they're to be pitied. But that's not how we handle it...

Hugs, Julie, and I'm glad things are going a bit better between you and your husband.

Shadow_Ferret
09-21-2008, 07:53 PM
Seems there's more and more weirdness and madness going on lately? An entire meltdown of the species?

JoeEkaitis
09-21-2008, 08:24 PM
1. Hispanic family is exiting a local Stater Bros. market. Daddy is tickling Junior, sending him scurrying into the path of an SUV and a Subaru driven by yours, truly.

2. Both drivers stop well short of disaster.

3. Daddy scoops up Junior and waves to drivers. Subaru driver reacts with a disapproving shake of the head.

4. Daddy hands Junior to Mum and shouts, "Is there a problem? Is there a f*ckin' problem?"

5. Subaru driver resists temptation to use Daddy as an example of what might have happened to Junior.

Conclusion: If one believes that race, ethnicity or gender are not excuses for irresponsible behavior, then call me a bigot.

Tornadoboy
09-21-2008, 08:36 PM
This is a great example of the open fascism that is politcal correctness, you're automatically supposed to be bullied by that accusation regardless of what the truth is.

Personally if I were your husband I would have yelled back "We are black you moron! We're all albinos!", and just walked away.

Bravo
09-21-2008, 08:53 PM
Personally if I were your husband I would have yelled back "We are black you moron! We're all albinos!", and just walked away.

that would just sound dumb.

Tornadoboy
09-21-2008, 08:59 PM
that would just sound dumb.

Hey at that point I would just be fighting not to say something like "Go *BLEEP* yourself you obnoxious *BLEEPITY BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!"

The kids would have learned a whole dictionary of things that would have made George Carlin blush.

comradebunny
09-21-2008, 09:10 PM
I have two things to add.

My sister-in-law, who is African American, once told me something that made me put things in a different perspective. She said that often it is difficult to decide if the negative reaction you are receiving is because of your own behavior or if it comes from the other person's prejudice.

I currently live and teach on a reservation in North Dakota. I'm white. The student population is 98% Native American. I have observed students who use race as a way to bully teachers. It doesn't work with me. Near the beginning of a new semester, one or two students will test me to see how I will react if they throw down the race card.

Example:

Student: “You’re just saying that cuz I’m Indian.”

My replies: “Yes, because you are the only Indian here and I am targeting you” (all the other students laugh), “You’re just saying that because I’m white”, or “No, it’s just because your name is …, and I can’t stand people named…”

When they see that this tactic doesn’t work, they give it up. We move on and the learning begins. I’m not racist. I’m prejudiced against certain things (just like every other person on the planet). Many of my students have learned to use the race card to manipulate non-native teachers. My sister thinks it works with some people because they haven’t decided if the statement thrown out by the student is true or not.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen why many of my students have this reaction. I’ve seen them be treated terribly when we have been off the reservation (which forces me to have an intense conversation with someone). I once yelled at a group of teenagers at another school for making racist remarks as my students got off the bus (I was at this school early to unload band equipment). I scared the hell out of them. I hope the lesson stuck.

Ageless Stranger
09-21-2008, 09:16 PM
Hey at that point I was just be fighting not to say something like "Go *BLEEP* yourself you obnoxious *BLEEPITY BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!"

The kids would have learned a whole dictionary of things that would have made George Carlin blush.


Fact: George Carlin never blushed. He merely blends in with his environment.

Tornadoboy
09-22-2008, 02:23 AM
Fact: George Carlin never blushed. He merely blends in with his environment.

Heh heh, boy I miss him.

RIP George

regdog
09-22-2008, 02:53 AM
Heh heh, boy I miss him.

RIP George

what he said

JLCwrites
09-22-2008, 03:14 AM
Pfft!

I know all of you are typing slowly because I am blond and can't reed fastly!

SouthernFriedJulie
09-22-2008, 05:56 PM
I'm a mish-mash of native american, black, scottish, and a bit of dutch somewhere. According to the old 'one drop' law down south, I can claim being an albino. :-)

I don't think anything was said to us, (we were walking right towards, then past them), because my husband happens to be a teeny big bigger than Triple H, if any of you watch wrestling and know who that is.

Big boy. When he isn't smiling, even I am a bit worried! And I ain't too much of a pipsqueak, either. The people she was telling at were kind of small. She probably felt the need to intimidate someone to make up for something that happened.

My problem isn't color, it is the behavior of people in public, in general. I'm just wondering when it became so acceptable to have a mouth like a city garbage can in public once you passed a certain age of trying to impress your peers with your 'coolness'.

Yeshanu
09-22-2008, 07:03 PM
Then there's the hobo who came by the theatre on Friday. We didn't open until six, so at about quarter to six, he sat down in front of the locked doors. When he rose again, there was a big puddle where he'd been sitting.

Eeeew!