Had to turn something down...

KTC said:

2 steps forward, 1 step back...

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You know, KTC, I want to encourage you not to pass up an opportunity like that again. Little children are so tolerant and forgiving. In addition, they assume that as an adult you know exactly what you are doing. What an advantage; they more than likely would not be aware of any flubs you might make. What a wonderful audience to get your public speaking experience going. Every successful writer/author needs to be able to do some public speaking and lectures.

I understand and know exactly how you feel. My first public appearance as a speaker, I was shaking in my boots. You know what? I finally said to myself: "Self, you are the author -- these people already like you, now calm down and speak only what you have drafted in your note and let your writer's mind do the rest." It worked.

If you get that opportunity again, teach only what you know and that is a lot to a novice. Just be yourself-- you will do just fine.

Now, if all this is not the advice you were looking for -- slush it, fellow writer.

KTC said:

So, I am rejecting myself and feeling dejected! This would have looked nice on my C.V. too.

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You can look at it two ways. One is that you turned it down only because you found the idea of teaching the class daunting. That's not rejecting yourself--it means you're not ready for that sort of thing, that's all. If the idea interested you and it was only doubt in your ability to do it that made you say no, then you might want to consider working on whatever it was you thought you lacked, so you'll be ready next time a like opportunity arises.

The second way of looking at it is that you know your strengths, you know your weaknesses, and you knew that it wasn't a good fit. Rather than taking on something you knew wasn't quite right for you, you turned it down. I don't see that as rejecting yourself, but as being smart. Not everybody is good at everything, and you're right, it wouldn't have been fair to take on the position when you felt that you weren't quite right for it.

Because you feel dejected about turning it down, I suspect you turned it down more for the first reason than the second, but I still don't see it as rejecting yourself. I see it as an opportunity to ask yourself what you can do so that you can accept the offer next time.