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Shadow_Ferret
09-16-2008, 12:17 AM
(according to the email I got) These are actual excuse notes from parents (Including original spelling) Collected by Nisheeth Parekh University of Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 12:21 AM
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Watch it, Ferret. My mother wrote that note.

Shadow_Ferret
09-16-2008, 12:24 AM
I thought the gangover one was yours, ToT.

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 12:40 AM
I thought the gangover one was yours, ToT.:roll: It is.

Pagey's_Girl
09-16-2008, 12:49 AM
Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
I have no idea how to spell diarhea diarreha dyarr THE RUNS either...


Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
That really sounds like something I would do. Some days I take airheadness to new heights...

vixey
09-16-2008, 01:55 AM
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

This one would have been so much better if it had been Ivey.

ETA: Fixing it.


Ivey was absent yesterday because she missed her bust.

Unique
09-16-2008, 02:55 AM
Please excuse (name)'s absence from school yesterday. He didn't feel like going so I didn't make him.

:D

Yeshanu
09-16-2008, 04:01 AM
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

I've threatened to write that one a few times...

Woodsie
09-16-2008, 04:10 AM
Thanks for a good laugh. Hilarious!

Toothpaste
09-16-2008, 04:43 AM
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.


I loved this one!

Pagey's_Girl
09-16-2008, 05:24 AM
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
There's a really naughty line about Tom Baker in ther somewhere, but I'm not going to touch it...

vixey
09-16-2008, 05:29 AM
Darn't! I wish I knew who Tom Baker was.

rhymegirl
09-16-2008, 05:36 AM
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.


Wow. Such personal information being revealed. :)

Pagey's_Girl
09-16-2008, 05:46 AM
Darn't! I wish I knew who Tom Baker was.

The fourth Doctor (Who). The one with the really long scarf. :)

C.bronco
09-16-2008, 05:53 AM
Dick Van Dyke wrote a funny book in the 70's. It had a whole chapter devoted to "fake" excuse notes written by children. I still remember the one about excusing a child for having "veryclose veins."

My mom got some flack when I was in the 6th grade. Her note said, "Cindy was absent because I took her shopping." Apparently that didn't fly, but, hey, 50% off is 50% off. I have no regrets.

Matera the Mad
09-16-2008, 08:02 AM
ow ow ow ow ow ow ow



sore ribs from :roll:

Pagey's_Girl
09-16-2008, 04:36 PM
...My mom got some flack when I was in the 6th grade. Her note said, "Cindy was absent because I took her shopping." Apparently that didn't fly, but, hey, 50% off is 50% off. I have no regrets.

Hey, that was a very important lesson in economics, business theory and practical math. The school should have considered it a field trip. :D

Inky
09-16-2008, 05:07 PM
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

No worries, however, as we have a canine unit on the job, sniffing for said missing parts.

Yo! Haggis! What's the latest with that missing hip??

You'll have to excuse dog-wonder. He's found a femur and is currently using it as a stirrer at the Comedy Cabaret...no?
Oh.
My bad.
Apparently, he's beating the shits out of RT with it...

Bmwhtly
09-16-2008, 05:13 PM
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
That's how it's done!

Pagey's_Girl
09-16-2008, 05:27 PM
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

No worries, however, as we have a canine unit on the job, sniffing for said missing parts.

Yo! Haggis! What's the latest with that missing hip??

You'll have to excuse dog-wonder. He's found a femur and is currently using it as a stirrer at the Comedy Cabaret...no?
Oh.
My bad.
Apparently, he's beating the shits out of RT with it...

While he's at it, see if he can find my mind. I seem to have lost it around here somewhere...

Susie
09-16-2008, 07:04 PM
Soooooo :roll:!