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auntybug
09-12-2008, 05:40 PM
Recently, I had the pleasure of having dinner in Minneapolis with a fellow AWer (who shall remain nameless.)
BTW – here’s a lovely picture of my daughter having dinner w/ III.
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb169/auntybug/valIII.jpg

We had a few hours of great conversation & of course the topic turned to our kids at some point. I explained that my daughter was born in the car and hubby filled in the voids. He likes to tell the story. (In his version, I’m not even there & he does all the work.)

Anyway, I mentioned how my Doctor was going to be off deer hunting over my due date (yes we’re hicks) and he offered to induce me early. Now 1) I didn’t want to have them take her before she was due and B) Her due date was Dec 1st. Hello… I didn’t want a November birthstone baby. It’s icky yellow. That’s when III said, “That is the shallowest thing I have ever heard.”

Okay – it was in fun... but I needed something in my new WIP (yes, Anis – the one I said I’m not doing) and it got me thinking… what is the shallowest thing you have heard or said...in jest or not.

BTW – she was born Dec 1st – just a couple hours after being completely “cooked”. I knew what I was doing :D

Clair Dickson
09-12-2008, 06:11 PM
"I don't want to hang out with him-- did you see his (cell) phone? It's the worst thing I've ever seen." --said by one of my darling alternative high school kids. No, I'm not making that up. I don't remember the exact wording, admittedly, but that's the gist of it. =/

Shadow_Ferret
09-12-2008, 06:14 PM
A co-worker of my wife, who found out she was pregnant said, "I'm going to take up smoking so I have a low birthweight baby." She was worried about stretch marks.

regdog
09-12-2008, 06:15 PM
Hmm well I can't argue with the birthstone thing. Mine is peridot eve seen that little ugly blob of toxic barf green.

The shallowest thing I ever heard was a woman I know ordering diet pills online and when I mentioned taking pills bought online isn't the safest thing to do her response 'I don't care I want to stay thin and be a babe.'

AmusingMuse
09-12-2008, 06:26 PM
My one daughter's long term bf telling me after I asked if they would ever have kids:

"Hey, she can't get pregnant, that means she'll be fat. And no wife of mine will ever be fat, or I'll dump her for a skinny hottie."

I had trouble staying in my chair and not throttling him.

Yeshanu
09-12-2008, 06:30 PM
(In his version, I’m not even there & he does all the work.)


:ROFL:

That is so like a man!

Conversation I had with a teen girl one time:

Her: I really like this guy, and he likes me, but how can I get him to dump his girlfriend?

Me: Do you really want to go out with a guy who dumps his girlfriend for another girl? How do you know he won't do it to you in a few weeks?

Her: Oh.

Alpha Echo
09-12-2008, 06:31 PM
A co-worker of my wife, who found out she was pregnant said, "I'm going to take up smoking so I have a low birthweight baby." She was worried about stretch marks.

That is beyond shallow. That is horrible. I hate knowing there are actually people like that out there. It never ceases to shock me.

Appalachian Writer
09-12-2008, 06:32 PM
One of my daughter's friends endured the horrors of a miscarriage. She was devastated, naturally. More than a year later, one of her sisters was planning a wedding while the other was expecting her first child. The friend came to visit my daughter and sat on my couch saying how awful her sister's were to be so happy about their upcoming events considering what she, herself, had been through. She expected me to say that she was right. I didn't. I don't know if that's what you're looking for but I thought it deserved a mention.

AND there was a local doctor who took every Friday off. He was an OB/GYN. A friend of mine was expecting and went into labor. To avoid having his Friday disrupted, he had the nurses give her something to stop her labor and asked her to come back the next day so he could induce.

Red-Green
09-12-2008, 06:32 PM
College friend of mine had an opportunity to go to a big important dinner event to network. He called and asked me to be his date.

Me: Why aren't you taking your girlfriend?
Him: This is one of those things that requires more brains than boobs.

He later married that girlfriend who wasn't smart enough to take to the event.

James81
09-12-2008, 06:34 PM
" 'You Can Put Lipstick on a Pig, but It's Still a Pig"

Sarita
09-12-2008, 06:37 PM
A friend of mine was getting married 6 days before my due date in 2006. When she set her date, she said to me, "I know it's going to be hard for you to get there, but I'm just going to pray everyday that you have your baby early, so you can come to my wedding."

Ahhhh, yes. Ask your god for a premature child, just so I can be there to see you get drunk on cheap champagne.

kct webber
09-12-2008, 06:41 PM
Shallowest thing I've ever heard? Everything that comes out of my sister-in-law's mouth.

Alpha Echo
09-12-2008, 06:41 PM
One of my daughter's friends endured the horrors of a miscarriage. She was devastated, naturally. More than a year later, one of her sisters was planning a wedding while the other was expecting her first child. The friend came to visit my daughter and sat on my couch saying how awful her sister's were to be so happy about their upcoming events considering what she, herself, had been through. She expected me to say that she was right. I didn't. I don't know if that's what you're looking for but I thought it deserved a mention.

I knew a woman like this. She is unable to have children. she's known for years and claims to have come to acceptance. She's married to a man with 5 children, and on Mother's Day, she got so upset she whined and cried because those 5 children wanted to be with their real mother. Now, from what my then-friend told me, the biological mother of these children was a nutcase. But she is their MOTHER. My then-friend couldn't believe that the children only gave her a card and flowers.

[/quote]
AND there was a local doctor who took every Friday off. He was an OB/GYN. A friend of mine was expecting and went into labor. To avoid having his Friday disrupted, he had the nurses give her something to stop her labor and asked her to come back the next day so he could induce. [/quote]

This is horrible! I can't believe there are actually people like that!

TerzaRima
09-12-2008, 07:00 PM
My shallowest story: One of Mr Rima's daughters lives in Manhattan, pretty close to where the planes hit the twin towers. On the night of 9/11, we got a sobbing message from her on the answering machine, saying, "This is the worst day of my whole f---ing life!" My husband called her back quickly--we'd been trying to reach her all day, and we worried that she'd lost friends in the attacks.

No. She and her boyfriend had been working on starting their own business, and their first big client was supposed to fly over from Europe on 9/12. No go, and everything was off with that client. And that, my friends, is why September 11 was the worst day of someone's life.

Jcomp
09-12-2008, 07:09 PM
"Is my chick hot enough?"

Spoken by a friend as he came to the precipice of falling madly in love with a girl but suddenly was struck with the fear that she may not be ultra-mega-gamma hot. Fortunately I beat some sense into him, then chokeslammed him for good measure...

donroc
09-12-2008, 07:12 PM
Two instances by women in "swanky" Palm Beach libation areas.

1.) "He drives a Volvo, and I only go out with Jaguars and Mercedes."

2) After a man said he did not own a home or condo but rented, the woman said in surprise, disappointment and disgust ( you had to hear her tone of voice), "You rehhhhhnnnnnnnnt?"

Shadow_Ferret
09-12-2008, 07:18 PM
Oh, I forgot. My own brother and his bride-to-be had asked us to be in their wedding. As it turned out, my wife was pregnant with our first child at the time. So they both got upset about it, saying we were "stealing their thunder" because it was supposed to be their day to shine.

or words to that effect.

Like I wanted to spend money on a tux and a bridesmaid dress and hang around pretending I like her and all their shallow friends in the first place.

maestrowork
09-12-2008, 07:20 PM
I don't hang out with shallow people, except you guys of course.

:D

Jcomp
09-12-2008, 07:27 PM
I'd list all of the shallow things I've ever said but my popularity here is far more important than being honest...

maestrowork
09-12-2008, 07:30 PM
I'd list all of the shallow things I've ever said but my popularity here is far more important than being honest...

That's the shallowest thing I've ever heard.

I won't be your friend anymore, unless you'll come to my party.

maestrowork
09-12-2008, 07:31 PM
Here's one:

I like your car -- too bad it's Toyota.

JLCwrites
09-12-2008, 07:32 PM
A relative (in -law!) makes 'fat' comments every time he sees Drew Barrymore, Melanie Griffith, or Kate Winslet on TV. :(

Jcomp
09-12-2008, 07:39 PM
A relative (in -law!) makes 'fat' comments every time he sees Drew Barrymore, Melanie Griffith, or Kate Winslet on TV. :(

It always bugs me when dudes make comments like that about celebrities. I always want to point at their girlfriend / wife and say, "Dude, you sleep with her..."

Which is incredibly shallow on my own part, but still...

tjwriter
09-12-2008, 07:49 PM
AND there was a local doctor who took every Friday off. He was an OB/GYN. A friend of mine was expecting and went into labor. To avoid having his Friday disrupted, he had the nurses give her something to stop her labor and asked her to come back the next day so he could induce.


That happens more often that you'd care to know. Many a doctor will tell patients that it's best to induce for whatever reason, but the TRUE reason is that they want to go on vacation. Labor and Delivery wards get filled quick before the holidays and a doc's vacation time.

When my doctor admitted me to have my daughter, my labor was moving along slowly, so I figured I'd get pitocin to help things along seeing as I already had an epidural going on. Next thing I know, the nurse is pissed because the doc told her that 2:00 was too late in the day to be giving pitocin. After 26 hours of labor and 1/2 hour of pushing, my daughter was born.

My daughter had to go to the NICU for things I later learned were due to the stress of labor. Guess who's not my doc anymore?

maestrowork
09-12-2008, 07:54 PM
Yeah, I hear the "Halle Berry is hot. I'd sleep with her" crap. I've always wanted to say, "as if she was going to sleep with you."

jennifer75
09-12-2008, 08:02 PM
That is beyond shallow. That is horrible. I hate knowing there are actually people like that out there. It never ceases to shock me.

Listen missy, if you can't follow the rules of the thread, then...then...then...I don't know what but you just better follow the rules.

;)

Jcomp
09-12-2008, 08:03 PM
I've always wondered how their girlfriends or wives feel, if they talk like that around them.

I mean I think I'm a decent looking guy, but if I was with a girl who said something derogatory about Will Smith's physique--called him out of shape or something--I'd be wondering what the hell she must think of me.

It's one thing not to find someone attractive and to comment on it, but the way some dudes talk, trying to impress their boys, you'd think that anything less than a super-perfect 11 is beneath them.

jennifer75
09-12-2008, 08:05 PM
I have a silly personality and love to joke around. I've been mistaken for being shallow at many points in my life and rather than defend myself, I just play along.

After a short conversation with a man I just met, it goes like this

Him: So, are you single?
Me: Are you rich?
Him: Very
Me: Ask me if I'm single again
Him: Are you single?
Me: Not for much longer

We dated for a couple years, got engaged and broke things off before we took the next step.
And he wasn't all that rich. Comfortable, but not rich. (He liked to joke around also :))

And did you pass out on the lounge sofa again? hahaha...sorry. That was shallow. But funny. Right?

I told you - you never shoulda told me about that story.

Mela
09-12-2008, 08:07 PM
I always try to avoid having a conversation on any serious subject with this woman (her husband has known my husband since they were, like, 2, so she's sort of an in-law, because hubby and him are brothers in every sense of the word) but sometimes I'm caught having to respond to something that comes out of her mouth:
Her: I was watching a really great movie on Henry the VIII
Me: chewing on pizza, Oh?
Her: I felt sorry for Ann Boleyn.
Me, still chewing. Hmm.
Her: You know, it just goes to show what a man with money can get away with.
Me, trying not to laugh: Oh, yes, men with money, they can behead any time they want.

This is also the woman who returned the engagement ring her husband-to-be presented her with because it wasn't big enough - and bought herself a right-sized bauble. When asked by her husband what I thought about that I replied, "You don't want to know what I think."

JLCwrites
09-12-2008, 08:09 PM
I've always wondered how their girlfriends or wives feel, if they talk like that around them.

I mean I think I'm a decent looking guy, but if I was with a girl who said something derogatory about Will Smith's physique--called him out of shape or something--I'd be wondering what the hell she must think of me.

It's one thing not to find someone attractive and to comment on it, but the way some dudes talk, trying to impress their boys, you'd think that anything less than a super-perfect 11 is beneath them. His wife has a lifetime membership to Jenny Craig and worries about her weight all the time.

jennifer75
09-12-2008, 08:09 PM
"Is my chick hot enough?"

Spoken by a friend as he came to the precipice of falling madly in love with a girl but suddenly was struck with the fear that she may not be ultra-mega-gamma hot. Fortunately I beat some sense into him, then chokeslammed him for good measure...

but was she ultra-mega-gamma hott?

maestrowork
09-12-2008, 08:10 PM
"Does this dress make me look fat?"



/ runs and hides

jennifer75
09-12-2008, 08:12 PM
Two instances by women in "swanky" Palm Beach libation areas.

1.) "He drives a Volvo, and I only go out with Jaguars and Mercedes."

2) After a man said he did not own a home or condo but rented, the woman said in surprise, disappointment and disgust ( you had to hear her tone of voice), "You rehhhhhnnnnnnnnt?"

hey, let's keep it real....

I won't look twice if your'e in a crap car. Plain and simple. Don't drive junk.

Wow, was that shallow or WHAT?!

Shadow_Ferret
09-12-2008, 08:13 PM
In keeping with shallow, I'm always amazed at the grocery rags my wife picks up that have "OMG! Can you believe SHE'S in a swimsuit?" pictorials showing celebrities at the beach while the editorial staff makes their snide comments.

Personally, I'd love to see each and every one of those editors in bikinis at the beach so we can all point and laugh at them.

Jcomp
09-12-2008, 08:14 PM
but was she ultra-mega-gamma hott?

So hot she makes the sun put on Coppertone...

jennifer75
09-12-2008, 08:14 PM
A relative (in -law!) makes 'fat' comments every time he sees Drew Barrymore, Melanie Griffith, or Kate Winslet on TV. :(

I can understand Drew and Melanie - actually Fat isn't quite what I'd call Melanie, but Kate? She's hardly fat.

jennifer75
09-12-2008, 08:16 PM
Yeah, I hear the "Halle Berry is hot. I'd sleep with her" crap. I've always wanted to say, "as if she was going to sleep with you."

Sh!t, I'd sleep with her.

maestrowork
09-12-2008, 08:21 PM
Sh!t, I'd sleep with her.

Pay per view, I hope.


Yes, I'm shallow.

Jcomp
09-12-2008, 08:22 PM
What about when Britney did her last appearance/sang at an awards show last year??? SOooooo many were commenting on how "fat" she was. No rolls = not fat, IMO

I can't remember where I read it, but one of those comedy sites basically said something to its readers along the lines of, "Seriously, if this girl sat in the cubicle next to you, you'd be trying to get at her every single day..."

Mela
09-12-2008, 08:24 PM
I have another one. Years ago I was dating someone and went to a wedding reception with him - it was a very low key affair. This bride was middle-aged, exceedingly accomplished, with a Ph.D. and what did my man do? Reduced all of her achievements into two words: "She's fat."

I was, like, get the F away from me, will you? It was the beginning of the end.

BenPanced
09-12-2008, 08:32 PM
"Does this dress make me look fat?"



/ runs and hides


Every dress makes you look fat, RayRay. It's not that you're fat...just the way the dress drapes from your man-frame.
He needs to remember he shouldn't wear the chocolate pants under the dress.

Williebee
09-12-2008, 08:34 PM
Boys are always talking about getting something super-perfect beneath them.

I can't remember who said it:

"Outside of every cute girl there's a fat guy trying to get in."

TrainofThought
09-12-2008, 11:20 PM
Recently, I had the pleasure of having dinner in Minneapolis with a fellow AWer (who shall remain nameless.)
BTW – here’s a lovely picture of my daughter having dinner w/ III.
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb169/auntybug/valIII.jpg

Okay – it was in fun... but I needed something in my new WIP (yes, Anis – the one I said I’m not doing) and it got me thinking… what is the shallowest Aw, cute picture.

Hmm... I say so many shallow things.

Me: "I think I'm going to get knocked up so I can have 3 months off of work."
Co-Worker: "Maternity leave isn't easy."
Me: "Yeah, but I am."

:roll:

rhymegirl
09-12-2008, 11:35 PM
I don't hang out with shallow people...

:D

I guess I'm with Ray on this. I only know nice people.

Pagey's_Girl
09-12-2008, 11:37 PM
Former co-worker, upon seeing a Petco bag with a bottle of antibiotics in it: "What's that for?"
Me: "My baby hamster. He's sick." (Five week old baby hammie with wet tail. Very, very bad.)
Cow-orker, looking at receipt: "Why bother? You know you could buy five of the freaking things for the price you paid for this stuff?"
If looks could kill, he would have been very, very dead. And Harvey the Wonder Hamster recovered, BTW, and went on to live to the ripe old age of five years old.

Ken
09-12-2008, 11:48 PM
great examples of shallow comments in the satirical novel Dead Souls I'm reading, like those between the vice governor's wife and a visitor who ramble on at length about whether somebody they know wears rouge or not, while in the background serfs are dying off like flies from starvation and deplorable living conditions. // ps Give that doctor of yours a kick in the pants from me, AB ;-)

III
09-12-2008, 11:57 PM
I've had time to reconsider. But yeah, I think that stays at the top of the list. My birthstone is CharmingDinnerGuestBlue. Love ya, Bugsie.

BardSkye
09-13-2008, 12:00 AM
Me, 7 years at the company: "Please don't wear that perfume in the office as I'm allergic to it."

New worker, 7 days at the company: "I'm not buying non-scented stuff just because you've got a problem. Take a pill."


:e2chain:

She's history as of 4pm tonight.

Red-Green
09-13-2008, 12:09 AM
But only if she drove a Jaguar, right?


Sh!t, I'd sleep with her.

Silver King
09-13-2008, 03:56 AM
"Does this dress make me look fat?"
"No, the dress looks fine. It's your big ass that makes you look fat."

(Ripped from a comic whose name I can't recall at the moment.)


Me, 7 years at the company: "Please don't wear that perfume in the office as I'm allergic to it."

New worker, 7 days at the company: "I'm not buying non-scented stuff just because you've got a problem. Take a pill."
That's rich. Whoever heard of non-scented perfume, anyway?

The shallowest comment I've ever heard came from a friend right after I ran my boat aground on an oyster bar and sheared off the propeller. He said, "I told you the water's too shallow to run your boat through here."

Donkey
09-13-2008, 04:11 AM
When my wife was in highschool, there was a boy that she wouldn't date because.............drum roll........... her first name is Judy and his last name was Pallutie. Her reasoning was that if they ended up getting married, her name would then be Judy Pallutie. True story. :D

Matera the Mad
09-13-2008, 04:26 AM
A colleague whom I truly respect and like peed me off by complaining about a person at a NAMI (http://www.nami.org/) conference he attended. The person spoke at a workshop about Borderline Personality Disorder, if I recall right. Ennyhoo, he was offended by the fact that she wore short sleeves that showed the scars on her arms where she cut herself (a common thing among BPD types). He thought she should wear long sleeves. He also complains to overweight me about fat women who wear shorts. Eh. Wottever.

If I enumerated half of the shallow things I've backed away from in stupid forums, I'd fill the thread myself. So I won't try. Boooooring anyway. :D

The birthstone thing is all poo made up by jewellers. My birthstone is not yucky yellow. :tongue

rhymegirl
09-13-2008, 05:22 AM
When my wife was in highschool, there was a boy that she wouldn't date because.............drum roll........... her first name is Judy and his last name was Pallutie. Her reasoning was that if they ended up getting married, her name would then be Judy Pallutie. True story. :D

Now see they could have had a whole rhyming family.

Little Rudy Pallutie, Howdy Doody Pallutie, Newtie Pallutie, Tootie Pallutie

Unique
09-13-2008, 05:25 AM
I'd list all of the shallow things I've ever said but my popularity here is far more important than being honest...

Give me that rep point back. (!)

Donkey
09-13-2008, 07:57 AM
Now see they could have had a whole rhyming family.

Little Rudy Pallutie, Howdy Doody Pallutie, Newtie Pallutie, Tootie Pallutie



That's a really good reason not to date someone, Donkey. You're not playing fair. That's not shallow at all. That's smart.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u92/donkeyrokman/datalaughingib4.gif

maestrowork
09-13-2008, 08:13 AM
I just said the shallowest thing tonight. I ought to be ashamed of myself...

Salem
09-13-2008, 08:19 AM
Shallow is the definition of my clients who want me to put make-up all over the faces of their pre-teen daughters just to go to some cousin's wedding or some other minor event. They say things like "Can you find a way to cover up all those flaws all over her face?" and "Is there anything you can do to make her eyes look pretty and her face less fat?"

No wonder so many girls have self esteem issues.

I once did a full make up application with dark, smokey eye shadow and false lashes on a nine-year-old at the request of her mother! They were going to an evening engagement party and the mother wanted her daughter to have "evening make-up."
I tried to argue that something softer would look much better, but the mother was very specific and hovered over me the whole time, making suggestions.

Stlight
09-13-2008, 11:23 AM
And we wonder why Camus (sp) The Stranger is a best seller.

HeronW
09-13-2008, 04:52 PM
anytime (which is often) the MIL comes out with 'what will people think?' Like I give a flying ****....

rhymegirl
09-13-2008, 06:25 PM
Stop it! Rhyme Girl finally snaps!

He set me up with the perfect material.

Oh, and I forgot Hootie Pallutie.

stormie
09-13-2008, 07:09 PM
When I was married for about a year and no babies on the horizon, my MIL was telling family and friends that her darling son could and should get an annulment from me since I wasn't pregnant yet. We made her wait four years for the grandchildren. :D

Disa
09-13-2008, 07:17 PM
Hmm. At work one day I noticed a coworker had the tag sticking out of her scarf at the back of her neck. I said "hang on, you're tag is sticking out" and I started to tuck it underneath for her. She said, "No, leave it, I want everyone to see it's a NAME BRAND".

stormie
09-13-2008, 07:21 PM
^^OMG^^ :ROFL:

thethinker42
09-13-2008, 08:42 PM
I used to work in jewelry. "Shallow" was the name of the game.

"Anything less than 2 carats, and there's no way I'd say 'yes'."
"If his 2 months salary can't buy me the ring I want, then he isn't the man for me."
etc.

The best one ever:

Hot guy comes into the store. I was young, single, and told the other salesladies "I'll get this one." It turns out...he was looking for an engagement ring. D'OH!!! So I showed him one.

"Too plain, she won't like it."
Next one..."Too plain."
Next one..."Too plain."
Etc.

Finally I handed him a ring that was well over $10K (about the biggest thing he could even think of affording), huge and sparkly, LONG past the point of gawdy and over-the-top. I said, "Trust me, she'll love it." I'm thinking he's just worried that she won't like it, but COME ON.

Well, it turned out that she was in the mall at that time. He calls her on his cell, and she comes flouncing in. She tries it on. Her hands were TINY, and this thing was large enough to knock a satellite out of space. She looks at it for about 3 seconds, hands it back to me, and says, "It's too plain." Then she kisses him and flounces out of the store.

I swear to God, I heard the guy's wallet shrivel up and die. I just sat there, completely dumbstruck, and so did he. I think it actually shocked him that she REALLY did think it was too plain. I said the only thing that I could think of...

..."Could I interest you in a watch instead?"

I ended up selling him a $450 watch. He dumped her and ended up taking me to dinner later on.

That girl has ALWAYS come to mind when I think about people being shallow.

thethinker42
09-13-2008, 08:43 PM
"Does this dress make me look fat?"

/ runs and hides

My brother actually defeated the "Am I getting fat/do I look fat/etc?" game with one girl.

She was CONSTANTLY asking him. CONSTANTLY. Finally one day, she asked if she was getting fat, and he said, "Yes, yes you are." Her jaw hit the floor and she said, "WTF?? No I'm not!"

His reply: "Good. Now that we're in agreement: Stop asking."

It actually worked.

thethinker42
09-13-2008, 08:58 PM
When I was married for about a year and no babies on the horizon, my MIL was telling family and friends that her darling son could and should get an annulment from me since I wasn't pregnant yet. We made her wait four years for the grandchildren. :D

Ooooo, that reminds me. A few shallow gems on my MIL's part:

When DH and I were still trying to have a baby (4 years, 2 miscarriages; later decided we don't actually want kids).

About a year after my first miscarriage, we went to visit them on the West Coast. We walked in (it was a surprise for her), and the FIRST THING OUT OF HER MOUTH: "So are we pregnant YET?" Um...thanks...bitch.

A year later, I found out I was pregnant, and MIL called me, wanted to chit chat about babies, etc. I gritted my teeth through the conversation, because she hadn't spoken to me in almost a year. After I hung up, I said, "Well, it's nice to know that she'll call me now that the Grandchild Factory is up and running." I miscarried a week later, and she never called. Not once. Sent me a text msg 4 days later to tell me about something my nephew did, and to ask us what we wanted for Christmas, but didn't even ask if I was ok.

6 months later, DH is on deployment. I was still having a rough time with the miscarriage, and ended up with some post partum depression on top of it. I was finally starting to get through the fog and get back to normal, but it still hurt. MIL knew this, because DH had told her. Out of nowhere, his mother calls me to "chat". Um...ok. I didn't really want to talk, but didn't want to be nasty, so I just kept my answers simple and short. She asked what I was doing to pass the time while DH was away. I just said, "working out, mostly."

Her response? I'm so not making this up:

"OHHH!!! Good! That means you're getting in shape so when (DH) gets back you guys can give Grandma the granddaughter she so desperately wants!"

*sigh*

Needless to say, she was less than impressed when the Grandchild Factory shut down and we decided to be childfree.

Donkey
09-13-2008, 09:17 PM
My folks walked my new wife and I through the airport to catch our honeymoon flight to the islands. They were each carrying a piece of our luggage. About half way through the airport, my mother spoke to my wife for about the fifth time in their entire relationship. She said, as she hefted my wife's make-up case, "You know, Judy, I noticed that you don't need to wear that much makeup."
My wife......."Oh, well, thank you Susan."
My mother..."No, I mean this is really heavy. Here, you carry it."

stormie
09-13-2008, 09:20 PM
Needless to say, she was less than impressed when the Grandchild Factory shut down and we decided to be childfree.
__________________
I like that: "The Grandchild Factory." :ROFL:

robeiae
09-13-2008, 09:22 PM
I was having dinner with an AWer--who shall remain nameless--when she said to me: "You know Rob, it's a good thing we're having dinner in a small town that's practically empty. Really, you're not attractive enough to be seen with me in public."*

Here's a picture of my daughter and Sara, right after they had dinner together:

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k155/robeiae/camp/DSC00364.jpg

* Sara didn't really say that, of course. But I could tell she was thinking it...

thethinker42
09-13-2008, 09:54 PM
__________________
I like that: "The Grandchild Factory." :ROFL:

LOL I also used to say that I was downgraded from "daughter-in-law" to "grandchild vessel". I'm now "that bitch our son married".

Inky
09-13-2008, 10:16 PM
Auntybug: "No! I will NOT come visit you in Turkey! The humidity there will ruin my hair!"


I was devasted!

Devil Ledbetter
09-14-2008, 05:06 AM
Earlier this week I heard: "Too bad the funeral is on Saturday instead of Friday. I was really hoping for a 3-day weekend."

Appalachian Writer
09-14-2008, 06:56 AM
When my wife was in highschool, there was a boy that she wouldn't date because.............drum roll........... her first name is Judy and his last name was Pallutie. Her reasoning was that if they ended up getting married, her name would then be Judy Pallutie. True story. :D

I had a blind date with a really nice guy once. His last name was Lilly. My first name is Willie. I never went out with him again.

Alice.S
09-14-2008, 07:03 AM
BTW – she was born Dec 1st – just a couple hours after being completely “cooked”. I knew what I was doing :D



WOOT!!! Dec 1st is the best-est day to be born!! :D < okay that's pretty shallow.....I know this one guy I go to school with, every word that exists that boy's mouth is shallow.

Yeshanu
09-14-2008, 08:54 AM
I had a blind date with a really nice guy once. His last name was Lilly. My first name is Willie. I never went out with him again.

But whyever not? :ROFL:

Inky
09-14-2008, 09:49 AM
Ah, names. Forgot about that one. It's come back to bite me in the ass. Why?

When I was a teen, I refused to date a guy because his name was Kerry--MY name is Karey.

Now I'm married to a Kerry.

Fate. She'll getchya!

SPMiller
09-14-2008, 09:57 AM
This thread is full of hilarity. I love it.

I'm really damn shallow when it comes to women. For example, I refuse to date stupid women. Sorry, that's just the way I am.

What's irritating is that an unnerving portion of females around my age still like to play stupid at first, whether they actually are or not. Hell if I know why.

LaurieD
09-14-2008, 10:27 AM
I heard this just the other day at my daughters dance studio-

4 mothers, whose kids have danced at this same studio for over 5 years, left to take classes somewhere else, about 10 or so miles out of their way, because the dance instructor added another little girl to the class and these 4 moms don't like the little girl's mom.

Donkey
09-14-2008, 11:15 AM
4 mothers, whose kids have danced at this same studio for over 5 years, left to take classes somewhere else, about 10 or so miles out of their way, because the dance instructor added another little girl to the class and these 4 moms don't like the little girl's mom.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u92/donkeyrokman/napoleanWTF.gif

kct webber
09-14-2008, 11:40 AM
This thread is full of hilarity. I love it.

I'm really damn shallow when it comes to women. For example, I refuse to date stupid women. Sorry, that's just the way I am.

What's irritating is that an unnerving portion of females around my age still like to play stupid at first, whether they actually are or not. Hell if I know why.

If that's shallow, I guess I am too. It's not just women--I try not to hang with stupid people at all. Why the hell would I want to date one? :Shrug:

I heard--somewhere--that a lot of women feel pressured to act less than smart because of the perception that a lot men feel threatened by smart women. I really don't know why.

Ciera_
09-14-2008, 12:23 PM
Maybe it's not that they're trying to dumb down, but that they tend to act a lot less intelligent when under pressure. I get really stupid when I'm nervous or trying to make a good impression, for some reason.
Women who dumb themselves down...*sigh* and men, too.
I would never date a stupid person, and that isn't really crappy for stupid people, because the other stupid people can date them. There are plenty to go around. I don't see how someone who's not intelligent would want to date someone who was.
If a man is threatened by smart women, it means he's stupid, no?

Neurotic
09-14-2008, 01:11 PM
Or maybe they're doing it to weed out the shallow men who're only interested because of their intelligence and personality.

I'm coming up blank on the shallowest thing I've ever heard, but I'm fairly sure it will have come out of my sister's mouth, whatever it is.

regdog
09-14-2008, 10:24 PM
If that's shallow, I guess I am too. It's not just women--I try not to hang with stupid people at all. Why the hell would I want to date one? :Shrug:

I heard--somewhere--that a lot of women feel pressured to act less than smart because of the perception that a lot men feel threatened by smart women. I really don't know why.

I know in my case it went like this half way through the date. Although I have never dumbed myself down for any guy.

him-"Well this date is over."
me-"How come?"
him-"Cause you're smarter than me and I don't like that. It makes me feel kinda stupid."
me-"Well you shouldn't feel kinda stupid you are completely stupid."

Neve heard from him again-ah well.

LaurieD
09-14-2008, 11:18 PM
I dated this really, really dumb guy once - we watched 20 minutes of a 30 minute tv program before he realized it wasn't the one he thought it was.

Just about everything I heard him say was shallow.

jgold
09-14-2008, 11:49 PM
Okay, I'm guilty. :D

I stopped dating a guy for two reasons. First, he ordered an O'Doul's, which I might have been able to overlook if not for what he said when I got out of the car.

"You opened the car door by yourself. Try not to do that."

:Shrug: Did I really have a choice?

JeanneTGC
09-15-2008, 12:25 AM
Wow, I have so many.

In college, I had friends who, seriously, were saying they wouldn't date any guy who didn't have a great car and who didn't dress totally fashionably. The way some of these girls looked, I wanted to mention that any guy who was interested in them should get a try out, because they weren't going to have a lot of options. They were horrified when I started dating the hubs. I'm still with him, but not any of them, go figure.

My MIL, who I love and who loves me, does manage to come up with a lot of doozies.

When we discovered my maternal side of the family is actually 100% Jewist (THAT was a fun Christmas), my MIL first said, "I felt so badly for all the Jewish people during WWII because they were treated so badly."

"Mom, the Holocaust wasn't bad treatment. 6 million murdered is called genocide, not a bad day."

Later, as we were heading home from this so-called vacation, MIL walked me to the car, hugged me tightly, and said blithely, "Don't worry, Jeanne, we'd still love you even if you were black."

"Well, Mom, I'd bet that's coming, from what little I've gleaned about my father's side." I called one of my best friends, who is black, who was in my wedding, and who was over at my in-laws' house almost as much as I was, and shared that she had no worries, we were all still loved. We both couldn't do anything more than laugh.

My MIL, btw, totally believes she's not prejudiced in any way, shape or form.

Last but in no way least, in keeping with the Grandchild Factory stuff, everyone in the family's out visiting us. We have the one child we want, my BIL and SIL have one but want another. Little brother's not ready. So, my MIL shouts from the other end of the long table in the middle of a crowded Sunday morning crowd, "So, Jeanne, when are you giving us another grandchild?"

I didn't miss a beat. "Mom," I shouted back, "when are you giving us a hundred thousand dollars?"

"What?" she asked, as my FIL just shook his head.

"The cost of raising a child is, at last count, at least $100,000. So, if you want one, cough it up. However, that's the lump sum payment. If you have to pay over time, then the cost will be $300,000. Until such time as you put your money where your mouth is, the subject is closed."

She NEVER mentioned it again.

ChaosTitan
09-15-2008, 12:52 AM
Last but in no way least, in keeping with the Grandchild Factory stuff, everyone in the family's out visiting us. We have the one child we want, my BIL and SIL have one but want another. Little brother's not ready. So, my MIL shouts from the other end of the long table in the middle of a crowded Sunday morning crowd, "So, Jeanne, when are you giving us another grandchild?"

I didn't miss a beat. "Mom," I shouted back, "when are you giving us a hundred thousand dollars?"

"What?" she asked, as my FIL just shook his head.

"The cost of raising a child is, at last count, at least $100,000. So, if you want one, cough it up. However, that's the lump sum payment. If you have to pay over time, then the cost will be $300,000. Until such time as you put your money where your mouth is, the subject is closed."

She NEVER mentioned it again.

:roll: You are brilliant.

JustJess
09-15-2008, 01:03 AM
LOL! I just HAD to reply to the original poster. My last child was due December 1st (of last year)-intentional homebirth, and my dh is a hunter (was afraid he'd be born on a Saturday/hunting day) anyway, I *wanted* a November baby partly because I like yellow topaz-also I wear a Mother's Necklace with all my kiddos birthstones on it-I already have a blue one. As it turned out, he was born on November 30th-gotta love these accomodating babies ;-)

JustJess
09-15-2008, 01:19 AM
My sister was newly pregnant and bleeding. Her doctor said: "Doesn't look like a keeper to me. Why not let me take care of it? No need to ruin a body like yours on a dud of a pregnancy."

How this man is still in practice is beyond me.

Jcomp
09-15-2008, 03:12 AM
Not in the saying something shallow department, but in the realm of general shallowness, I once broke up with a girl because I hated her laugh. I tried to get past it, but I just couldn't do it. I even tried to stop being so gotdamn funny all of the time (a Herculean effort, that), but she was one of those people who laughs at basic commentary.

ME: You should try this chicken, it's really delicious.
HER: *Giggle* Okay, let me have a bite.
ME: AUUUGHHHHH!!!

The worst is that the laugh was really the only thing "wrong" with her, and I just couldn't get over it. She was pretty and smart and could cook (or at least liked to cook) and had decent taste in movies. Okay, so she was one of those people who loves to give massages but really gives horrible, painful, torturous massages. And her pillow talk was a little... a little bit too randomly profanity-laced for my taste. But otherwise, great lady.

That laugh, though. Just couldn't get past it...

willfulone
09-15-2008, 03:57 AM
My buddy in college:

Me: C'mon Tommy. She is pretty, smart and pre-med. She has a future.
Tommy: Yeah, I know. But, I can't date her.
Me: Okay, but can you tell me why?
Tommy: She is 5'5" tall.
Me: I know Tommy. What does that matter? It is just a date.
Tommy: Well, I am 6'6" tall.
Me: I know Tommy. It is not like I could miss that.
Tommy: So, I am waaaaay taller than her.
Me: Okay, but what does that matter for ONE date?
Tommy: Well, she is so pretty I could really get to like her.
Me: What does that matter?
Tommy: I don't want to like her too much.
Me (exasperated): Why not?
Tommy: She could give me short boys.

Alvah
09-15-2008, 04:02 AM
"Does this dress make me look fat?"



Once in the clothing department of a store, I heard a young
woman ask her husband:

"So who's fatter, me or my mother?"

Talk about questions you don't want to answer!

maestrowork
09-15-2008, 06:05 AM
Once in the clothing department of a store, I heard a young
woman ask her husband:

"So who's fatter, me or my mother?"

Talk about questions you don't want to answer!

Answer: I AM the fattest. Now can we go so we can get to the Buffet?

Eskimo1990
09-15-2008, 06:38 AM
My sister, talking about my last boyfriend.

Her: Why do you even like him?
Me: Because he's sweet, and I just do. (there was more to this, but it doesn't really matter lol)
Her: Why? He's fat and ugly. There's nothing to like about him.

And she wonders why I call her shallow sometimes....

Matera the Mad
09-15-2008, 07:03 AM
Then there was the time I was extremely depressed, and I said to my mother, "I think what I need is a little human companionship."

"Just don't get pregnant," she replied.

BardSkye
09-15-2008, 07:19 AM
"Until such time as you put your money where your mouth is, the subject is closed."

She NEVER mentioned it again.

Are we related, Jeanne?

My mom, bless her, wanted grand-kids. She harped on it constantly when I was just starting the work/bar/meet guys scene. Constantly asking when I was going to settle down and give her a grandchild.

I got fed up one night and asked her what colour child she would like. Told her I was on my way out to the bar, so pick a daddy. Blonde? Black? Would she like a mixed-race baby to raise? When she asked what on earth I was talking about I told her I had no intention of marrying anytime soon, nor would I even consider raising a child, but I could easily arrange to get pregnant if she wanted to raise another one that badly.

Needless to say, the subject wasn't raised again. Probably because she knew full well I was just stupid and stubborn enough to carry through on the threat.

Smiling Ted
09-15-2008, 11:14 AM
Hmm.

I live in Los Angeles, so I have plenty of homegrown shallow to choose from. But the most shallow thing I've encountered in the last three years was on a flight from Houston to LA, in the first-class cabin.

The gent seated next to me was delighted to discover that I was Jewish (my last name is not quite "Jewy-Jewberg," but it's close enough). He himself, as he hastened to disclose, was a Southern Baptist who was home-schooling his kids, boycotting Target until it said "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays," and determined to defend the tiny, besieged Christian community against the secular humanist conspiracy. (This is pretty much verbatim, by the way.)

As we left the plane, I mentioned that some of the tactics used by our current President and his political base seemed like simple bullying, and it disgusted me. He nodded wisely and said "I can understand how you'd hate bullying, with the history of your people."

I looked at him and asked "Couldn't I hate bullies simply because I had to deal with them in high school?"

He looked at me as if I were speaking in tongues.

C.bronco
09-16-2008, 06:03 AM
Great picture! I love yellow topaz, BTW. Three of my familial peeps are November babies.

I heartily believe that any reason a pregnant woman has for desiring a due date is reasonable. Likewise, anyone who suggests that you will not deliver on time deserves bunyons or something equally unpleasant.

Clair Dickson
09-16-2008, 07:28 AM
The girls in my class today were talking about guys they almost would have dated-- except one had "Jesus sandals" (which instantly made him not hot anymore) and the other worse "flip flops."

What? Um. Yeah. But guys, don't you dare judge a girl on whether or not she's got herself a muffintop or how she dresses...

Somedays, I being in the room with my students makes my brain hurt.

Adam Israel
09-16-2008, 07:38 AM
"I've been thinking, and I figured out something that doesn't make me happy. Cleaning. I want a maid."

:Shrug:

Stlight
09-16-2008, 08:23 AM
ultrasound just a way to start the crazy making sooner. ;-)

good first post and sooo welcome, glad to meet you.

I shouldn't have had sweets before typing or should have washed fingers first.

Keep posting.

Stlight

JeanneTGC
09-16-2008, 08:35 AM
Not in the saying something shallow department, but in the realm of general shallowness, I once broke up with a girl because I hated her laugh. I tried to get past it, but I just couldn't do it. I even tried to stop being so gotdamn funny all of the time (a Herculean effort, that), but she was one of those people who laughs at basic commentary.

ME: You should try this chicken, it's really delicious.
HER: *Giggle* Okay, let me have a bite.
ME: AUUUGHHHHH!!!

The worst is that the laugh was really the only thing "wrong" with her, and I just couldn't get over it. She was pretty and smart and could cook (or at least liked to cook) and had decent taste in movies. Okay, so she was one of those people who loves to give massages but really gives horrible, painful, torturous massages. And her pillow talk was a little... a little bit too randomly profanity-laced for my taste. But otherwise, great lady.

That laugh, though. Just couldn't get past it...
You...you...you said you'd never tell! *sobs uncontrollably* :D

Actually, my mother was the one who said I had a laugh like a donkey's bray. She shared this when I was 9, to explain why she hated taking me to comedy movies -- she was worried what others would think. I still laughed -- because, even at 9, I didn't care all that much what others would think.

Strangly enough, no one else has ever said this, and I've gotten compliments on being someone unafraid to really laugh out loud.

SarasSister
09-16-2008, 08:37 AM
ultrasound just a way to start the crazy making sooner. ;-)

good first post and sooo welcome, glad to meet you.

I shouldn't have had sweets before typing or should have washed fingers first.

Keep posting.

Stlight

Thank you - and yum - sweets! My kids made me chocolate cake today. My fingers are not sticky but I am one happy mama.

auntybug
09-16-2008, 07:44 PM
Sorry - I kinda just started this & ran!!

Thanks for all the great posts guys!!

I'm thinking my comment doesn't look so bad now.... sorry to anyone that likes yellow topaz :) (It's actually hubby's birthstone - he hates when I say I don't like it :D )

I don't think I can make my shallow character be as shallow as some of the things quoted. It sure takes all kinds to keep this planet spinning...

You people rock!

*smooches*
ab

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 08:00 PM
Sorry - I kinda just started this & ran!!

Thanks for all the great posts guys!!

I'm thinking my comment doesn't look so bad now.... sorry to anyone that likes yellow topaz :) (It's actually hubby's birthstone - he hates when I say I don't like it :D )

I don't think I can make my shallow character be as shallow as some of the things quoted. It sure takes all kinds to keep this planet spinning...

You people rock!

*smooches*
ab:) I've stopped talking to or broken up with guys for shallower things than topaz. You're all right, AB. Besides, my birthstone is ugly, but LEOS are the best. ;)

List:

First meet: invading my space
Flip flops
Dumb conversation
Stuff in their teeth
Voice
Laughs
Shoes
Clothes
Bad sex (okay, that's not shallow, it's intolerable)

quickWit
09-16-2008, 08:03 PM
Bad sex (okay, that's not shallow, it's essential)

Bad sex is essential?

Jackpot. I'm as good as in. :D

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 08:20 PM
Bad sex is essential?

Jackpot. I'm as good as in. :DApparently your wife is a charitable woman.

P.S. You knew what I meant. :rant: Work got in the way and I didn't have time to fix it.

quickWit
09-16-2008, 08:24 PM
Apparently your wife is a charitable woman.

Yes, in every sense of the word. :)


P.S. You knew what I meant. :rant: Work got in the way and I didn't have time to fix it.

You know work is no excuse. Grow up. :D

Joycecwilliams
09-16-2008, 08:25 PM
How about.... "Oh did you ask because I was looking at your breasts?"

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 08:43 PM
Yes, in every sense of the word. :)



You know work is no excuse. Grow up. :DEW! I don't want a visual.

And yes, there's an excuse for everything. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116038, even for you, "Please excuse quickWit for being. It was his father's fault."

DeleyanLee
09-16-2008, 08:47 PM
How about.... "Oh did you ask because I was looking at your breasts?"

Overheard on the bus ride home last night: "Dude--she had a face?"

Nope, not kidding.

quickWit
09-16-2008, 09:07 PM
"Please excuse quickWit for being. It was his father's fault."

Hey - your mother needs to share some of the blame as well. :D

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 09:16 PM
Hey - your mother needs to share some of the blame as well. :DPfftt... my mom's not into beastiality. :)

quickWit
09-16-2008, 09:17 PM
Pfftt... my mom's not into beastiality. :)

:roll:

:flag:

Inky
09-16-2008, 10:50 PM
Stopped dating a guy because he was too tall.
I'm 5' 4".
He was 6' 6".

I was SOOOO not going to have my face smashed into his naval...er...um....other regions....everytime we decided to hug!!








Yeah...I know he probably wouldn't complain....blech...

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 10:52 PM
Stopped dating a guy because he was too tall.
I'm 5' 4".
He was 6' 6".

I was SOOOO not going to have my face smashed into his naval...er...um....other regions....everytime we decided to hug!!That ain't shallow, that's stupid.

Mmm.... I love tall guys. :D

Inky
09-16-2008, 10:55 PM
Sorry - I kinda just started this & ran!!

Thanks for all the great posts guys!!

I'm thinking my comment doesn't look so bad now.... sorry to anyone that likes yellow topaz :) (It's actually hubby's birthstone - he hates when I say I don't like it :D )

I don't think I can make my shallow character be as shallow as some of the things quoted. It sure takes all kinds to keep this planet spinning...

You people rock!

*smooches*
ab

Just like a man: wham-bam, thank you ma'am...pfff....
Okay...nevah mind those were some of the best damn dates I evah had...

cray
09-16-2008, 10:56 PM
Stopped dating a guy because he was too tall.
I'm 5' 4".
He was 6' 6".

I was SOOOO not going to have my face smashed into his naval...er...um....other regions....everytime we decided to hug!!








Yeah...I know he probably wouldn't complain....blech...


That ain't shallow, that's stupid.

Mmm.... I love tall guys. :D



:idea:


tot must be a better climber than inky.

:banana:

Inky
09-16-2008, 10:56 PM
That ain't shallow, that's stupid.

Mmm.... I love tall guys. :D

I was young, dumb & full of...er...how 'bout them conventions, eh?

Inky
09-16-2008, 10:57 PM
:idea:


tot must be a better climber than inky.

:banana:

Nah, she just likes having an excuse to wear freck-me pumps! :e2tongue:

Deccydiva
09-16-2008, 10:58 PM
Quote from a fashion show on TV (Now there's the very definition of shallow - fashion!)
"They say Black and Navy is okay now, but IS it?"
Who the f*** cares!!

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 11:02 PM
I was young, dumb & full of...er...how 'bout them conventions, eh?So you weren't popular?


tot must be a better climber than inky.

:banana:


Nah, she just likes having an excuse to wear freck-me pumps! :e2tongue:No need. I know how to jump and hang on. ;)

cray
09-16-2008, 11:05 PM
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/whacky111.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

Seaclusion
09-16-2008, 11:08 PM
What the heck is that banana riding?

Richard

DeleyanLee
09-16-2008, 11:10 PM
Do we get bonus points for creativity, if not accuracy?

Shadow_Ferret
09-16-2008, 11:11 PM
If I had known this was going to go off-topic into smut, I'd have stuck around and kept reading.

Seaclusion
09-16-2008, 11:14 PM
If I had known this was going to go off-topic into smut, I'd have stuck around and kept reading.

Doesn't every thread around here devolve into smut when I get involved in it?

Richard

Shadow_Ferret
09-16-2008, 11:15 PM
Only when Inky and Tot are involved.

Seaclusion
09-16-2008, 11:17 PM
Oh how true

Richard

Inky
09-16-2008, 11:17 PM
You rang?

http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/PMO1935.jpg

Seaclusion
09-16-2008, 11:18 PM
You rang?

http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/PMO1935.jpg

I'm convinced. Anyone else?

Richard

Shadow_Ferret
09-16-2008, 11:19 PM
must.take.cold.shower.

cray
09-16-2008, 11:20 PM
Only when Inky and Tot are involved.


that's the shallowest thing i've ever heard. shame on you, ferret.






eta: nice stems, inky!

TrainofThought
09-16-2008, 11:24 PM
Doesn't every thread around here devolve into smut when I get involved in it?

Richard


Only when Inky and Tot are involved.


Oh how true

RichardNot always. I DO other things.

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m270/Train_of_Thought/Avatars/hips.gif

Seaclusion
09-16-2008, 11:30 PM
Mmmm, leather

Richard

DeleyanLee
09-16-2008, 11:31 PM
You rang?

http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/PMO1935.jpg


must.take.cold.shower.

Funny. Didn't do a thing for me.

Inky
09-16-2008, 11:33 PM
Pfff..ToT...freak...










*gazes more closely....* Is that a buckle??? AND long nails???


purrrrrrr


See, this, THIS is what happens when you let the Comedey Cabaret Loons prowl....