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View Full Version : Seeking reviews/crits for my Project Horse blog



Fenika
09-07-2008, 07:06 PM
Oh wow, I didn't even know this forum was here. It's SYW for bloggers :)

My blog is Project Horses (http://projecthorses.blogspot.com/). I've just started it, so I'm looking for any kind of feedback really. If you wish to post comments there or post here, that would be great.

Are my 'articles' engaging/interesting? (Are you a horse person or not?) Is the format okay on your screen? Would you like to see anything added? (I've been trying to add more pics or a slideshow but so far that's on hold).

So on :)

Cheers,
Christina

veinglory
09-07-2008, 11:40 PM
I an not really a horse-y person, but it seemed clear enough if rather plain. It seemed to me more like a journal than written with an audience in mind?

Fenika
09-07-2008, 11:44 PM
Thanks veinglory.

It's meant to be a hybrid. A journal that will (hopefully) interest and touch my readers.

My initial goal is to collect enough thoughts to know what to write an article about (and then I will sub the article to the appropriate market).

I'd also like people to see the world through my eyes :)

Cheers,
Christina

Pink Ink
09-08-2008, 09:11 AM
Here's where I'm coming from: I'm a horsey person, too, but more of a horse-show mom than a trainer.

My general impressions: Your posts are interesting. Because of the nature of your job, you have built-in conflict with each horse. Great potential for action and growth in each post.

Here are some suggestions:

In your subtitle, you could personalize it more. Is it a blog about communication between humans and equids, or is it YOUR communication with horses?

Also, perhaps you should determine your audience.

Is it a lay horse person like myself? In which case, the descriptions are too technical. That being said, I would be interested in getting an insight as to how to "cure" any problem areas. I can always use behavior articles. I like the photos you've included. Horses are so beautiful to look at, photos always make any story exciting :-).

OR Is it a fellow trainer? Maybe the posts will resonate, but I would imagine trainers are busy people, probably wanting to see highlights of the situation rather than a lengthy description of the horse's movements. Consider distilling your blog posts into three segments. For example: the problem, what you did to solve it, and the final outcome.

Anyway, I hope that helps! Glad to meet a fellow horse blogger!

Fenika
09-09-2008, 01:38 AM
Thank you Ink, and good points.

I can see how some descriptions are too technical, but can you give me a few examples of what you struggled with so I can see through your eyes better? (here or via PM). I would like other horse people (and even non-horse people) to see what I see, but without dragging them to that point. So I guess I'm walking a fine line already ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed the photos. There are tons more as part of today's entry (an experiment I'm hoping works out eventually)

Cheers,
Christina

veinglory
09-09-2008, 02:23 AM
To draw readers in more I would suggest ending each post about a specific encounter with a brief discussion of a more basic principle it illustrates, like a learning point that anyone working with a horse (or even other animals) might benefit from?

Fenika
09-09-2008, 02:35 AM
That isn't a bad idea, but I guess I have to decide if I want to get into the trainer aspect of what I'm doing. I'm just a hack really. Or maybe I can do what you suggest and still avoid sounding like a trainer.

More to ponder. Thanks Vein.

Pink Ink
09-09-2008, 01:40 PM
I went back and re-read and I don't know why I used the word "technical". Maybe not so much technical as a "lot going on". I think I was reading some of it in a hurry instead of pausing to digest and that was my problem. (lack of sleep :-)

Here's one that I remember having a little difficulty with:

*made a few adjustments in my seat and asked her to collect. (for you non-horsie types, that is when they flex at the poll- behind the ears- and make their back more fluid. From nose to tail they are stronger and more comfortable.) To my surprise (since she hasn't had any advanced training that I know of) she soon did. The back came up, and suddenly she was moving easier. We repeated this and she was soon collecting (relatively) on her own.*

But ya know, your posts are just right in capturing the scene's details without using cliches and being redundant. That's quite the task, and I think you did very well.

sheadakota
09-09-2008, 02:48 PM
Another Horsey person here. I read your blog with a trainers eye. I hope my opinion is of use to you. (I am a certified trainer-John Lyons method)

I found you voice charming and found myself nodding in agreement and smiling in memory. I think if the reader is at all aquainted with horses your explanations were clear and precise. You are obviously knowledgable and have a great sense of humor about what you do- you have too don't you?

I loved the pic of Whalen and was immidiatly reminded of one of my former 'students' Bart. I am constantly surprised by people who have no idea how intelligent horses are, I think your blog is a wonderful, informative piece of writing- I will be checking back to read your new enteries.

Fenika
09-09-2008, 07:15 PM
Thanks Pink, and thank you for leaving comments on my blog :)
Yeah, I see how 'heavy' that paragraph is now. In the future I should take more time explaining something like that. Cheers.

Hi Shea! Glad to have a John Lyons person giving me a review. Yes, I think humor is important. It's so easy to get frustrated if you allow yourself.

Thanks for the comments!

Cheers,
Christina

Pink Ink
09-09-2008, 07:43 PM
You might want to consider putting a glossary in the sidebar, that way your beautiful descriptions/exciting action won't get sidelined by definitions. Just a thought.

TheWritingRunner
09-09-2008, 08:07 PM
You might want to consider putting a glossary in the sidebar, that way your beautiful descriptions don't get sidelined by definitions. Just a thought.

I think this is a good idea!

Fenika
09-09-2008, 09:09 PM
Oooo, now I just gotta figure out how best to do that. And, well, make time to do it. (hehe)

Thanks again :)